Pokemon Trainers
by Gamer95
Summary: Worlds have been destroyed... Josh, Krillin, Ian, Ryan, Mike, Achmed, Tristan, Emile, Deadpool and Popeye must adapt to their new lives. With Iris, Cilan, and their new Pokémon friends, they embark on a fantabulous adventure of friendship, family and humor! And...stuff happens. And.. it might be good. ...So...nice weather we're having.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Josh, do my homework for me?" Drake asked.

"No." Josh replied flatly.

"Please?"

"No."

"Por favor?"

"DANG IT, YOU JUST HAD TO BRING OUT THE MEXICAN ROBOT!"

"So you'll do it?" Drake asked hopefully.

"...All right." So then Josh was sitting down at his desk, doing Drake's homework for him. Drake was playing his guitar. Suddenly, the earth beneath their feet seemed to start shaking.

"W-What the heck is going on?! Drake stammered, trying to keep his balance.

"I-I DUNNO!" Josh stuttered as he stumbled over. Then he fell on the floor. He got back up, and both him and Drake ran to the window to see what the heck was going on. They stared in horror as they saw what looked like a black hole, absorbing everything. Cars, houses, people...all of it was sucked into the void. Drake suddenly felt himself getting pulled towards it. He clinged to the window sill desperately, trying to keep his grip. Then he got blown straight out the window, still clutching at the window sill.

"DRAKE!" Josh shrieked as he grabbed at Drake's hands and tried desperately to pull him back in. Drake clutched Josh's hands as hard as he could, his face contorted into an expression of sheer terror.

"JOSH, HELP ME!" He screamed.

"I'M TRYING!" Josh yelled in desperation, still clutching Drake's slipping hands. Drake couldn't hold on. His hands slipped out of Josh's grasp, and he was sent straight into the void, screaming in absolute fear.

"DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" Josh screamed, reaching out for his brother. Then the power of the wind became too much. He felt himself getting pulled into the void as well. He closed his eyes, ready to accept his fate. But a being elsewhere had other plans. Josh didn't notice as he was engulfed by a bright light, which took him elsewhere...

Meanwhile...

"GOKU, THIS ISN'T WORKING!" Piccolo shouted as the group shot their best Ki attacks into the void that was swallowing everything.

"I KNOW! I'LL TRY A SPIRIT BOMB!" Goku shouted back.

"KAKAROT, THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT NOW!" Vegeta snapped. "BY THE TIME YOU GET ANY POWER IN THAT THING, EVERYTHING WILL BE DESTROYED!"

"AW, BE OPTIMISTIC VEGETA!" Goku shouted back.

"VEGETA'S RIGHT, GOKU!" Krillin yelled. "IT'S WORKING TOO FAST!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, BALDY!" Vegeta snapped.

Krillin Owned Count: 1

"AAAAAAND HE'S ALREADY GONE." Tien deadpanned loudly as Goku flew up. Then, he felt a powerful force pulling him down.

"AH! Guys...it's so...strong..." Goku struggled against the force pulling him in.

"DAMN...WHAT IS THIS THING?!" Piccolo struggled as well.

"AGH! EVEN MY SUPER SAIYAN SWAGGER CAN'T KEEP ME OUT OF IT!" Vegeta said furiously.

"W-WHAT DO WE DO?!" Gohan asked, terrified.

"SENZU BEAN!" Krillin tossed a senzu bean at Gohan. It hit him on the forehead and bounced off. Everyone looked at Krillin with deadpan expressions...then they were all sucked into the void, screaming in terror. All except Krillin, who stared for a few moments. "...SENZU BEAN!" The bean was sucked into the void. Krillin then grunted as he too was sucked into the void. "AGH! OH GOD, NO!" He struggled,desperately trying to fly away...and was enveloped in a bright light, which sent him elsewhere...

Meanwhile...

"HEY GUYS, A LITTLE HELP!" Stevie said with an out of place smile as he clinged to the windowsill of Ian and Anthony's house.

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE, YOU SELFISH BASTARD!" Anthony snapped.

"YEAH! WE COULD DIE!" Ian added as the void sucked in Boxman.

"Dude... I guess this is it..." Antony said sadly.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU STUPID BLACK HOLE! YOU'RE COMMITING MURDER, AND I WON'T STAND FOR IT!" Officer Anous started pelting the portal with bullets...and then got sucked in himself.

"Yeah..." Ian whimpered as Little Billy was sucked into the portal, crying hysterically.

"I just want you to know...you've been a really good friend." Anthony put a hand on Ian's shoulder as Antoinette was sucked into the portal as well.

"Ugh! This stupid portal better not mess up my hair!" She rolled her eyes as she was sucked in.

"You too, man." Ian replied. The two friends exchanged a hug.

"GET A ROOM, YOU TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ian's Mom yelled as she was sucked into the portal.

"MOOOOOMYYYYYY!" Ian shouted. "WHO'S GONNA BUY MY PIZZA ROLLS?!"

"IAAAAAAAAAN!" Anthony screamed as he got sucked into the void.

"AAAAAAANTHONYYYYYYYYY!" Ian reached out to his friend. He fell to his knees, buried his face in his hands, and started crying.

"Ya still have me!" Stevie said happily.

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Ian snapped. Suddenly, both of them were enveloped in a bright light, taking them...elsewhere.

Meanwhile...

"RYAAAAAAN!" Sean Fujiyoshi screamed as he was sucked into the portal.

"SEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAN!" Ryan Higa screamed, reaching for his friend.

"RYAAAAAAAN!"

"SEAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Sean disappeared into the void. Ryan stared in shock and horror, knowing he was next. ...NOT! He was teleported elsewhere...

Meanwhile...

"Okay, this could be really good for ratings... BUT REALLY REALLY BAD FOR THE WORLD!" Chris McLean shook Chef by the shoulders as he screamed this. There were only five of them left: Chris, Chef, Zoey, Cameron and Mike. Mike was clinging to Zoey and Cameron's hands as best as he could, trying to keep them out of the void.

"CHRIS! HELP ME OUT HERE!" Mike yelled.

"I DON'T WANNA GET NEAR THAT THING! I COULD DIE!" Chris screamed.

"SO COULD I, YOU DON'T SEE ME COMPLAINING!" Mike screamed.

"MIKE...I'M SLIPPING!" Zoey panicked.

"AGH...I...CAN'T HOLD...ON!" Cameron panted. Mike watched in horror as he felt his grip on them come loose.

"CAM! ZOEEEEEEEEEEY!" Mike screamed as they got sucked into the void.

"THIS IS SOOOOO BAAAAAD!" Chris whined.

"SHUT UP, ALREADY, MCCLEAN!" Chef snapped. Then the roof of the building came clean off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chris screamed in terror as the void sucked him and Chef in, the latter closing his eyes and accepting his demise. Mike would have joined them...if not for Manitoba taking over and latching onto a doorknob with a rope that happened to be flying past.

"Thank you, Manitoba..." Mike whispered as he regained control.

"No worries, mate." Manitoba replied from Mike's head. Then, the teen was sent elsewhere via magic light thingy.

Meanwhile...

"Well, I guess this is no different from being within ten feet of my wife." Walter deadpanned as he was sucked into the portal.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Peanut was screaming like a little girl. "JOSE, GRAB ME!"

"I cannot, senor. I have no arms." Jose said calmly.

"WELL FIGURE IT OUT!" Peanut snapped.

"I cannot, senot. For I do not like you."

"WHY YOU LITTLE..." The two continued arguing as they were sucked into the portal.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-Ooh, a beer." Bubba J grabbed the beer out of the air and started chugging it down.

"OH NO! MY BEST ACQUAINTANCES!" Achmed screamed at his acquaintances getting sucked into the void. "AND I'M NEXT!"

But he wasn't next. Thank magical light thingy for that.

Meanwhile...

"NYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!" Joey screamed.

"WHEELER, STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Kaiba snapped.

"I'M SCARED, SETO!"

"SHUT UP, MOKUBA!"

"BLOODY HELL, WHAT A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS THIS IS!" Bakura screamed.

"DON'T WORRY! WE WON'T DIE! IF WE DO, 4KIDS WILL JUST CENSOR IT!" Yuig shouted.

"DON'T WORRY, EVERYONE! THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP WILL SAVE US ALL!" Tea yelled.

"Hey guys! I feel kind of funny!" Tristan said.

"What the hell do you mean, Tristan?" Duke Devlin asked. "...Tristan?"

Tristan was gone...

Meanwhile...

"JON! TIM! JOSH!" Emile screamed for his friends... but they were gone... All of his fans...his games...his cats...gone. And he was next. It was just like he said inSuper Paper Mario. The erasing of all of the Earth's history... He closed his tear-filled eyes and awaited the inevitable... then was saved.

Meanwhile...

"GEEZ, THIS IS JUST INSANE, AUTHOR!" Deadpool screamed at the computer screen, barely acknowleding the fact that every hero and villain in his world were currently being sucked into the void."I MEAN, I KNOW YOU WERE ALWAYS BAD ABOUT FIRST CHAPTERS, BUT THIS?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING FOR HERE, ANYWAY?! FUNNY?! SERIOUS?! WHAT?! TELL ME! Aaaaaaand I'm disappearing, aren't I? Yep. I'm gone."

Meanwhile...

"OLIVE! SWEE'PEA!" Popeye reached out his hand. He saw the two people he cared for the most getting sucked into this thing. He then knew it was time for his trump card. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a can of spinach. He gave the can a good squeeze and the contents poured into his mouth. He smiled and got ready for action...only to see that Olive and Swee'Pea were already gone. He stood there staring in shock, horror and heartbreak. The spinach kept him from getting sucked in as well...and his emotions prevented him from noticing the light surrounding him...

And so, in a void...

Josh screamed as he fell down to the ground facefirst. He got up to his feet and looked around nervously. "D-Drake?" He said timidly. "Mom? Dad? Megan?" He looked around, and saw nobody. He was completely alone. Or so he thought...

[Hi there!] A pink, cat-like creature flew in his face, causing him to scream like a little girl and jump back, getting into a karate pose. The creature only giggled.

"WH-WHAT ARE YOU?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FAMILY?!" Josh said shrilly.

[Aw, take it easy, Joshy.] The cat waved a paw dismissively. [I'm your friend.]

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE!" Josh shrieked.

[I'm Mew. A Pokemon. There! Problem solved.] Mew giggled.

"Look...where am I? What happened to my family?" Mew stopped smiling after that, and her expression became extremely grim. She looked down sadly.

[Sit down, Joshy. I have to tell you a story.] Josh, not liking where this was going, obeyed, sitting on an easy chair Mew created for him. [You see, Josh...there's a powerful being out there... more powerful than anything in the multiverse... He always thought other beings were inferior. He decided recently that the best course of action to take was to... destroy everything else. You see, Josh, you and I are on a planet way beyond his reaches. He can't find it even if he wanted to. Your homeworld on the other hand...] She paused and looked up at the teenager, who was staring at her, eyes begging her not to tell him what he thought she was. [...I'm sorry, Josh. ...They're gone.]

"No..." Josh said, fingers digging into the arms of his easy chair. Tears began forming in his eyes. "No... no, no, no, no, NO!" Josh got up and ran away.

[Josh, wait!] Mew stretched her hand out. Josh payed her no mind and kept running.

"Drake!" He shouted, desperately trying to find his family. "Mom! Dad! Megan!" He realized that it was fruitless. He fell to his knees. He then buried his face in his hands and started sobbing. He was there for fifteen minutes before Mew found him.

[...Sorry, Joshy. But this is for the best.] And so, Mew placed her hand on the back of his head. Josh's head shot up, but Mew was already finished.

"Huh? Mew... I was crying...but...now I can't even remember why..." Josh said in confusion.

[I don't know either, Joshy.] Mew said with a small smile.

"Weird...all I don't remember anything about my old life..." Josh scratched his head in confusion. He turned to Mew. "Are ...all...pokemon like you able to talk?"

[Well...that's a side effect of the light I used to bring you here.] The cat replied. [Fortunately, it's permanent. When you're on your journey, you'll be able to understand the Pokemon you make friends with!]

"Journey? Wha- OH GEEZ!" Josh was whisked away by another light.

[Don't worry, Joshy.] Mew said to herself. [You'll have a friend very soon.]

With Krillin...

Krillin slammed into the ground hard enough to leave an imprint of his body on it. He pulled himself to his feet with a groan, rubbed his head and looked around.

"Hello?" He called out nervously. "...Anyone here?! ...You better not be that tall scary guy from that video game Vegeta made me play!"

[Hello!]

"AAH! Whoo... what kind of alien are you?!"

[One exposition later...]

"So...my friends are all dead and my world is destroyed?" Krillin said sadly. Mew bowed her head. "Holy crap... Never thought I'd be the only survivor if something like that ever happened!"

[...Um..Krillin...isn't it a little too soon to say such a thing?]

"Probably." Krillin shrugged. "So now that leaves the question: what do I do now?"

[That's simple. You go with Joshy and meet the others later!] Mew teleported Krillin away.

Ian...

"HOLY CRAP, A POKEMON! AND IT'S A FIRETRUCKING MEW! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!" Ian shouted in joy.

[Exposition]

"So...Anthony's dead?" Ian whimpered. "Permanently?" Mew nodded. "WHOO! I WIN FOOD BATTLE FOR GOOD THIS TIME!"

"You don't care?" Mew tilted her head.

"Eh." Ian shrugged.

"...Goodbye, Ian." Mew teleported Ian away.

"Hi! I'm Stevie, and I-"

[F*CK OFF, STEVIE!] Mew knocked Stevie away with a ball of psychic energy.

Ryan...

"EEEEEEEEE! IT'S SO CUTE!" Ryan was clinging to Mew so hard she was turning blue and her eyes were bulging out of her head.

[Your...friends are...dead.] She managed to choke out.

"What?! That makes me sad. I need comfort... better hug you tighter."

[NO!] Mew broke out of Ryan's grasp and teleported him away.

"Fine, I won't be so rough next time." Ryan said in exasperation as he teleported away.

Mike...

"Huh?! Wh-what the heck are you?!"

[I'm Mew!]

Mike gasped. "Dagnabbit, you little whippersnapper! That only gives my old mind a slight idea of all this mammy jammy going on around me! I want real answers, missy!" Chester then whacked Mew upside the head with a cane he randomly had. "Where are those other young people? They still around?"

[Ouch...] Mew rubbed her cranium. Then she erased Mike's memories of his old life.

"Huh? Where am I? How did I get here? What day is it? Is it pudding night yet?" Chester walked around, scratching his head. Mew rolled her eyes and teleported him away.

Achmed...

"GYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I HAVE TO BLOW IT UP!" Achmed panicked and tossed a bomb at Mew. The bomb exploded, charring Mew completely black, leaving only her comically wide eyes visible. Mew's body crumbled into ashes, and the disembodied eyes landed on top of the pile. "Ha! That will teach it to mess with me!" Mew's disembodied eyes narrowed, and a pink tornado twirled around the dust pile, bringing back Mew's true form. Mew turned to the dead terrorist.

[Your world's gone. Your associates are dead.]

"Oh. Damn it..." Achmed muttered.

[I'm actually getting used to that reaction, scarily enough.] And so, she teleported Achmed away.

Tristan...

"Well, I am insulted that the destruction of my world was treated as a big joke!" Tristan crossed his arms haughtily. "I mean, 4Kids probably censored the whole thing, but seriously!"

[You're still standing on me.] Mew deadpanned. And Tristan's foot was, in fact, planted firmly on Mew's back as she looked up at him in annoynace the best she could.

"Oh, so it's all about you, you, you now, is it?!" Tristan snapped. "What about my needs?! My world is gone! Which means... no more ice cream! Noooooooooooooooooooo-"

[This world has ice cream too.] Mew rolled her eyes.

"Oh. Okay."

[Goodbye, Tristan.]

Emile...

Mew was waiting for Emile's transportation to finish, tapping her foot on the ground impatiently. Emile then showed up. He ended up landing right on top of her, leaving only her tail visible from underneath his back.

"Ow..." Emile muttered, clutching his head. "What just happened?" He then felt something tapping his shoulder. He looked over and saw a pink tail sticking out from underneath him.

"No way..." He breathed. He immediately scrambled to his feet and stared in awe at the squashed form of Mew, laying facedown on the floor, flat as a pancake. Mew peeled herself off the floor, then looked over Emile.

[Hi, Emile! You don't look as...unintelligent as the past few people I've seen.]

"M-Mew..." Emile said, still in shock and amazement. Mew giggled.

[Big fan of pokemon, huh?]

"Y-Yeah! I played four Pokemon games on my old YouTube channel!" Emile said. Then he realized what he said and remembered what he'd lost. In order to prevent another Josh, Mew erased his mind.

"Huh? Wh-what was I just thinking about?" Emile asked.

[Oh, your future journey.] Mew said with a wink. [Bye!]

Deadpool...

"-And another thing!" Deadpool continued his rant against the author while Mew just watched with a raised brow and tilted head. "Just WHAT direction are ya tryin' to take this story in?! First we've gotworlds being destroyed, both dramatically and comically, then you got Josh's scene, which was depressing, then Krillin and beyond is just downright humourous, with funny dialogue and Mew suffering slapstick! And speaking of Mew... what the hell are you tryin' to do with her? Is she playful or sarcastic? Make up your damn mind! Geez, this is just low, even for you! I expect better from you, Gamer95! For shaaaaame!" And so, with his tirade over, Deadpool turned to glance over Mew. "So... the Marvel universe is dead?"

[Yes.]

"May be survivors out there?"

[It's a possibilty, especially for the likes of Doctor Banner and Johnny Blaze...]

"Well, that's jim-crackin' dandy! So send me to Kanto and I await Popeye!" Deadpool gave a thumbs up.

[Wha-how did...okay...] And Deadpool was gone.

Popeye...

"Hey! You might be the one that got me girl and sonny taken away from me!" Popeye shouted angrily as he punched Mew in the chin, sending her flying upward in an arc before landing headfirst in the ground hard enough to embed her upper body in it, leaving only her legs and tail sticking out. Popeye stormed up to Mew as she forced her feet onto the ground and started pushing repeatedly to free herself. "Yeah,nogoodlittlefeline,I'llteachyatomesswithmyfamily." He muttered under his breath in a totally different voice, not even moving his lips. He grabbed her tail and pulled her out of the ground like a vegetable. "All right, shorty! I'll gives ya the benefit of the doubt! What happened to Olive an' me Swee'pea?" Mew spat some rocks out of her mouth and told Popeye everything. Popeye stared at Mew with an utterly broken look on his face. "Olive... the best girl I could've hoped for... Swee'pea... he was so small... Wh-why when I get my hands on that goodfor nothin' palooka, I'll...I'LL..."

[Sorry, Popeye...] Mew whispered as she erased his memories of Olive and Swee'pea.

"Eh? What was I goin' on 'bout just now?" Popeye wondered, scratching his head in confusion. "And who're you?"

[I'm Mew.] Mew said with a small smile.

"Mew,eh?Guessthatmakessense,yadolooklikeacat." Popeye muttered. "Well...what am I doin' in a place like this, Mew?"

[You won't be here any longer, Popeye.] Mew teleported Popeye away. She closed her eyes. [Well...good luck out there, chosen ones...]

Authors Note:

Okay, thus ends what it, without a doubt, the WORST first chapter I have ever written in my entire life. Yaaaaaaaay!

Yes, the threat who destroyed the worlds will come back again. Not for a long time though. And that's just provided I don't get bored with this one.

Also, I'm taking ideas for the characters pokemon. [Except Josh, I have his entire team planned out. Achmed too. And I have six pokemon for Popeye.]


	2. Crossing Paths

Josh groaned as he pulled himself to his feet. He looked around, to get a bearing on his surroundings. "Wh-where am I?" He muttered. He looked around the area around him. He appeared to be in a forest. "Wow, Mew, ya couldn't have let me know where I am before sending me off?" He muttered under his breath. Then he heard a loud scream. He looked up, yelped and held up his hands to shield himself as a bald midget wearing orange clothing fell on top of him.

"Ow..." Krillin muttered, standing up and rubbing his head. He stood up and looked around. "Where in the hell am I?" He asked himself.

"Get off of me." Josh snapped. Krillin looked down to see that he was standing right on top of Josh.

"Whoops! Sorry, kid." Krillin stepped off Josh's back and helped him to his feet.

"Thank you." Josh said. "Who are you, anyway?"

"Oh, my name's Krillin." Krillin said with a smile. "And you are?"

"Josh." Josh replied.

"Well...WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT?!" Krillin shouted, pointing behind Josh. Josh looked over in confusion, then screamed like a little girl as he saw a strange creature standing there. It was round in shape, purple and fuzzy, with big red eyes, antenna, a little pincer-like mouth, and big feet. The creature tilted its head curiously.

[What?] It asked in a male voice. [Never seen a Pokémon before?]

"Oh yeah. Mew said-KRILLIN STOP!" Josh shouted as Krillin panicked and ran at the Venonat.

"TAKE THIS, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Krillin shouted as he planted a kick firmly into the Venonat's face, sending it flying back several feet.

[Ow! Hey, man! Like, what's your deal?!] The creature snapped.

"KAMEHAMEHA!" Krillin fired a beam of blue energy out of his hands.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" Josh shrieked. "HOW DID-"

[Cut it out, man!] The creature dodged the attack. [Don't make me fight you. Seriously.]

"DESTRUCTO DISC!" The creature took the attack full on, sending him flying into a rock. "Haha! I've got him on the ropes!" Krillin said triumphantly. "Durable little bastard though, I mean that attack was powerful enough to possibly cut Frieza in half..."

"Krillin, cut it out!" Josh said. "Mew said-"

"I know!" Krillin interrupted, bending over to pick something up. "I'll finish it off by throwing stuff at it!" He held up a red and white ball that was there for no good reason. "RANDOM OBJECT!" He tossed the object at the creature and smirked with satisfaction as the ball met its mark...then both him and Josh's expressions turned surprised as the ball opened up and the creature was sucked in by a red light. The ball closed, hit the ground, shook a few times...and clicked shut. Krillin and Josh just stared wide-eyed at the ball.

"Wh-How-Why-WHAT IS UP WITH THIS PLACE?!" Josh yelled.

"Did...I just enslave that thing?" Krillin asked.

"That was a most interesting battle..." A slightly nasal voice said from out of sight, causing the two to look around in confusion. Suddenly, a kid who appeared about ten leaped out of the bushes and slashed with a katana. Josh leaped back with a yelp. Krillin flinched slightly...and the katana cut through his pants, causing them to fall down and reveal his teddy bear boxers. Krillin screamed and covered himself.

Krillin Owned Count: 2

"Hey, kid. Explain to us what just happened?" Josh asked.

"Hmph. An amateur... your bald friend there just captured a Pokémon." The boy explained.

"What?!" Krillin exclaimed. "What does that even mean?!"

"You're an amateur as well." The boy snarked. "When you weaken a Pokémon in battle, they can be caught by throwing Pokeballs at them. Once caught, those Pokémon will become your lifelong companions."

"Well...how do I let him out?" Krillin asked.

"Just throw the ball or press a button." The boy rolled his eyes and walked away. "You are unworthy of my time." The two watched as the boy left.

"...Wow, that kid's a dick." Krillin said flatly.

"Yeah..." Josh replied. "So...you gonna check out your new...Pokémon?"

"Hell yeah!" Krillin said cheerfully. He strolled up to the Pokeball, picked it up and pressed the button in the middle. Out of the ball came the creature.

[Zoinks! Like, please don't hurt me anymore, man!] The creature yelped, flinching away.

"Hi! I'm Krillin!" Krillin ignored the creature's fear and gave a small wave. The creature looked up nervously. "...What are you?"

[...Like, I'm a Venonat, man.] The Venonat replied nervously.

"Oh. Cool! Do you have a name?" Krillin asked.

[Uh... n-no.] The Venonat replied.

"Hmmm... How about Shaggy?" Krillin suggested.

[Sh-Shaggy, huh? Doesn't sound too bad...] The Venonat admitted.

"Cool! Shaggy it is then!" Krillin said cheerfully.

"So, Shaggy... you feeling okay after Krillin tried to KILL YOU?!" Josh looked at Krillin accusingly as he said that last part.

[Nothin' some grub couldn't help with, man!] Shaggy replied happily.

"Uh-oh." Josh came to a realization.

"What's up, Josh?" Krillin asked.

"We're...kind of lacking in the food department at the moment." Josh explained.

[Like, I could probably find some stuff.] Shaggy offered.

"Thanks, Shaggy. But we should probably figure out a way out of this forest first." Josh replied.

_"Ask and you receive,_ _Joshy_." Josh looked around in confusion...then suddenly the three of them found themselves...on a ship?

"What the hell?" Krillin looked around in confusion. "How did we get here?"

"Mew..." Josh uttered.

"Oh! Mew's still helping us?" Krillin asked.

[Mew? Like, you're just pullin' my foot!] Shaggy chuckled. [Mew's the creator of all Pokémon, man! No one's ever seen her!]

[Until now.] Shaggy turned around and leapt back, staring in awe.

[Like, it's...it's Mew, man!] Mew giggled.

[Yup! Just here to help out Joshy and Krilly!] Mew said cheerfully.

"Krilly?" Krillin said indignantly.

[So, good luck! You two are going to Unova!] Mew said as she flew around.

"What? Where's that?" Josh asked with a raised brow.

[Across the sea, silly!] Mew said as she perched herself on top of Josh's head.

"Yeah, kinda figured, hence the boat." Josh snarked. "What general direction?"

[The one we're going!] Mew giggled as Josh started tearing at his hair in frustration.

"You're kind of a troll, aren't you?" Krillin asked.

[Yep!] Mew replied with a wink. [Bye bye!] And with that, she teleported away in a flash of pink light.

[...Like...you're friends with MEW?!] Shaggy looked at Josh and Krillin in awe.

"More like acquaintances, really." Josh muttered.

"So, Shaggy! Ready for adventure?" Krillin asked with a broad grin.

[Like, I just hope things don't get TOO crazy...] Shaggy looked down nervously.

"HEY!" The three looked up to see a large man glaring down at them. "I don't recall taking your tickets." He said suspiciously.

"Uh...well, that's because...that is to say... uh..." Krillin reached into his pocket and felt two slips of paper. He pulled them out and looked them over. "Oh, uh...here they are!" He nervously handed the guy the tickets with a nervous grin. The guy took the tickets, glaring at the duo suspiciously. He looked down at the tickets, then the duo, who were looking at him with nervous grins and sweat pouring down their foreheads. Tickets. Duo. Tickets. Duo. Then the guy smiled.

"Okay, enjoy the trip!" And then he turned and left. The two sighed in relief. Then Josh turned to Krillin.

"What were those really?" He asked.

"Coupons for the Noodle Shack." Krillin replied. The group of three stared blankly after the guy.

"...He's an idiot." Josh said.

"Yup."

[Like, totally.]

Meanwhile...

Ian screamed as he fell. He saw the ground rushing towards him, taunting him with the fact that his imminent demise was coming. His screams reached the ears of millions as his death drew closer and closer. He hit the ground at full force. But...falling from two feet doesn't really have a lot of force behind it. Ian continued screaming, flailing his limbs around and keeping his eyes shut, rolling around on the ground.

"Hey, sir!" Ian turned to see a 9-year old boy with messy black hair looking at him. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, I'm obviously falling to my death. And you're interrupting! Didn't your mother ever teach you manners, kid? It is VERY rude to interrupt someone when they're about to die! SHEESH!" The kid blinked in confusion and walked away. Ian continued screaming and flailing on the ground until...

"Ian?" Ian looked up in confusion.

"Ryan Higa!" Ian shouted. "You survived too?!"

"Yeah. What is this weird place?" Ryan looked around the small town they were in. There were odd looking birds flying around and small purple rats wandering about.

"Oh my God! This is POKEMON!" Ian shouted joyfully. "We have to catch ALL OF THEM!" Ian's voice became extremely demonic and the fires of hell engulfed him. He continued laughing as Ryan stared at him. The laughter died down and Ian was now just grinning widely.

"...You're on fire." Ryan deadpanned. Ian screamed, then got down on the ground and started rolling. Ryan watched with a bored expression.

"Okay...I'm all good now." Ian assured. "My awesome hair hasn't been affected. I only have third degree burns all over my body. "

"Hey, Ian! Wanna go on a boat ride?" Ryan asked.

"Hecks yeah I do!" Ian jumped with joy.

"Too bad! The boat's leaving!" Ryan pointed to a boat that unbeknownst to them contained Josh and Krillin with a massive, sh*t eating grin on his face. Ian started to cry. "Luckily for you, I have a backup plan." And so, Ryan pulled out a lamp and tossed it into the ocean. It became a giant lamp that floated on the ocean surface.

"HOLY FRIGGIN' FRIGGLE FRAGGLE FRIG!" Ian exclaimed. "NOW WE CAN GO ON A FANTABULOUS ADVENTURE!" And so, Ian and Ryan hopped on the lamp and rode off behind the boat.

_Meanwhile..._

Mike groaned and held a hand to his head. He looked around his surroundings and saw that he was in a bed. This appeared to be a laboratory.

"Hello?!" He called out.

"Oh hey, kid! You finally woke up!" Mike turned around and looked at the one in the room with him. He screamed as he saw the living skeleton grinning at him. The skeleton screamed back.

"WHAT ARE YOU?!" Mike shouted fearfully.

"I'm a skeleton, you fool!" Achmed snapped. "Anyway, do you feel okay?

"Uh...y-yeah..." Mike stammered.

"Great! Professor Juniper will be glad to hear about that!" Achmed said with a grin.

"Professor Juniper? Who's that?" Mike asked.

"Oh, she found us outside her lab. I was broken into pieces and a couple of weird dogs were chewing me up. I think she called them...Liliipups?" Achmed looked up in thought. "Then she performed some very...odd experiments on me.

_Flashback..._

"So...remind me what it is that we are doing." Achmed said nervously as Professor Juniper sat him down on a table.

"Oh, I just want to know what makes you...tick, per se." Professor Juniper replied. "Now then, let's take an X-Ray." Achmed's eyes widened, then he slowly turned to glare at her.

"...I keel you." He said flatly.

_Another experiment..._

"Um...what's with the glove?" Achmed asked nervously. "And...why are you bending me over like this?"

"Don't worry, it's just a simple experiment." Professor Juniper waved her hand dismissively.

"Why is your hand so close to my ass? You're not...GYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" We got an extreme close-up of Achmed's face as his eyes widened and he screamed like a little girl.

_Another experiment..._

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Achmed screamed as he was hooked up to an electric chair.

"I just want to see how you respond to electricity." Professor Juniper waved a hand dismissively. "Perfectly harmless."

"If you say so-GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_After the experiments..._

"Thank you for being so cooperative, Achmed." Professor Juniper said cheerfully. Achmed looked up at her, smiling through clenched teeth.

"Oh, it was my pleasure. Hey, for being so nice, I got you a little present!" Achmed handed her a gift-wrapped package.

"Why, thank you, Achmed! It...appears to be ticking." She pulled the top of the box off...and it immediately exploded, sending the professor flying upward about 40 feet in the air in an arc. She flew out of the lab and smashed into the ground outside headfirst, getting stuck upside down in the ground with only her charred-black legs sticking out, spread apart with her feet touching.

"DON'T YOU EVER PULL ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN, UNDERSTAND?!" Achmed yelled as the professor's legs started kicking. "I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" The Professor had now forced her feet onto the ground and was pushing against it to free herself. "YOU'RE STILL NOT ANSWERING!" Achmed tossed another bomb at the Professor's legs, causing her entire body to comically turn into ashes, because logic? I have no room for logic in this story! Kick logic to the curb and do the impossible!

_End flashback..._

"And...she let you stay after that?" Mike asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes!" Achmed replied cheerfully. "YO PROFESSOR, THE OTHER GUY'S AWAKE!"

"Oh good! I was getting worried." Professor Juniper replied from down below. She came up the stairs, and Mike got a look at her. She looked to be in about her early twenties. She had orange hair, and was wearing a white lab coat, that was open to reveal a white t-shirt. She was also wearing a green skirt.

"You're Professor Juniper, right?" Mike asked.

"Yes. What's your name?"

"Mike."

"A pleasure to meet you, Mike." Professor Juniper stuck out her hand to shake. Mike accepted. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Boring exposition...

"That's...quite a story, Mike." Professor Juniper said with a raised eyebrow, hands over her hips.

"You don't believe me, do you?" Mike said flatly.

"Nope."

"Thought not. So...where am I?"

"You're in my Pokémon laboratory."

"What's a Pokémon?" Mike scratched his head in confusion. Professor Juniper gasped and put a hand over her mouth.

"You don't know what a Pokémon is?" She asked, shocked.

"Um...should I?" Mike asked.

"Yes! Everybody knows what Pokémon are! This cannot go uncorrected! Come with me!" She grabbed Mike's hand and dragged him out of the bed. Before leaving the room, she turned to Achmed. "PLEASE tell me you know what Pokémon are."

"No." Achmed replied. She picked Achmed up in her other arm and hoisted him over her shoulder. She took them down to a room that contained three pokeballs.

"Okay you two, I'm going to show you the three starter Pokémon of the Unova region." And with that, Professor Juniper took one of the balls and tossed it upwards. The ball opened up and shot out a white light, revealing a small orange pig-like pokemon with black markings on top of it. "Tepig, the fire starter!"

"Whoa!" Mike said in fascination. "That's so cool!"

[Thanks!] The Tepig said happily.

"You're welcome!" Mike replied.

"...Did you just understand that Tepig?" Professor Juniper asked.

"...Why? Am I not supposed to?" Mike replied.

"I understand them too." Achmed added.

"My...that's a very rare ability. Not many have it..." Professor Juniper said, putting a finger under her chin in thought. "Hmm... Anyway, onto the grass type starter: Snivy!" Professor Juniper tossed the Poke Ball into the air, and a small green snake-like Pokémon with stubby little legs and short arms came out.

['Sup, bitches!] He said.

"Wow! The gangster Pokémon!" Achmed shouted in glee.

"Grass Snake Pokémon." Professor Juniper corrected.

"Oh. Laaaame." Achmed lost interest.

[Yo, you want me to lay a smackdown on your bony ass?! Bring it! I'll kick your ass, white boy!] The Snivy snapped.

"I don't like this thing very much." Mike said flatly.

[Ey, you wanna piece too, eh? Bring it! I'll f*ck your sh*t up!]

"...And finally, the water starter...Oshawott!" Professor Juniper brought out the last one. It was a small otter-like creature with a shell on its chest.

[Hi there!] It said.

"Hey, this little guy's kinda cute!" Mike chuckled as he patted the Oshawott's head.

[Aw, thanks!] Oshawott replied, hugging Mike's leg.

"Aw, he's awesome!" Mike reached down to pick up the otter.

"GET THE HELL OFF ME!" Achmed screamed as the Tepig was gnawing on his leg and the Snivy was repeatedly slapping him across the face.

"Oh dear..." Professor Juniper facepalmed. "Return, you two." She returned the two starters.

"That Snivy is an asshole!" Achmed snapped.

[THANK YOU!] Oshawott said. [FINALLY! SOMEONE SEES HIM FOR WHO HE REALLY IS!]

"Do all Snivy talk like gangsters?" Mike asked the otter.

[It wouldn't matter if I told you. You can't understand me.]

"Actually, I can understand you fine."

[Whoa, really? That's awesome! And to answer your question...no. He just happened to stumble in on one of the professors assistants watching a movie about gangsters...]

"Sounds...interesting." Mike replied.

"So...about those abilities of yours..." Professor Juniper started hopefully.

"No tests." Achmed said bluntly.

"Aww, but-"

"Do you WANT me to blow your ass up a second time?" That immediately shut her up. "I didn't think so."

"So Mike..." Professor Juniper said. "You seem to be getting along with Oshawott swimmingly."

"Yeah!" Mike said. "I like the little guy a lot."

"I see." Professor Juniper said. "I was thinking... I've been trying to find a trainer for him for years... but no one ever wants him. I was thinking...maybe YOU could take him."

"S-Seriously?" Mike said, amazed.

[YES!] Oshawott said, overjoyed.

"Absolutely. You don't have any Pokémon yet, he's a starter, you're clearly above ten... he's all yours."

"Whoa! That is just awesome! It's amazing! It's...awes-mazing!" Mike said, overjoyed. He turned to his new Pokémon. "So... do you have a name?"

[Um...Well, Oshawott.] The small otter replied.

"Well that's no good. That's your species name." Mike said thoughtfully. "You need a nickname. How about..." He started thinking. "I know! I'll call you Jet!"

[Jet, huh? That sounds pretty cool! I like it!] Jet said happily.

"Awesome! Jet it is then!" Mike said, hoisting Jet onto his shoulder.

"Someday I'll find my own Pokémon." Achmed said with determination. "One that's not an asshole!"

_Meanwhile..._

Emile groaned as he woke up. He looked around and saw a small building.

"Hmm. I think I'll go see if there's anyone in there that can help me." He muttered as he got to his feet. He approached the building and knocked on the door.

"Yes, come in!" An elderly-sounding male voice sounded from the other side. Emile turned the handle and opened the door.

"So, are you sure you don't have the Blue-Eyes White Dragon?" Tristan asked the man. Emile stared in awe.

"Professor Oak..." He said, shocked.

"Ah, a fan I see." Professor Oak greeted. "Hello, young man! What's your name?"

"E-Emile." Emile said, still in awe.

"Good to make your acquaintance, Emile." Professor Oak nodded. "And Tristan...for the last time, no. We do not have any Blue-Eyes White Dragon." Professor Oak said seriously.

" Okay...then I want the Dark Magician!" Tristan said happily.

"Oh...why do I even bother?" Professor Oak rolled his eyes in exasperation. He turned to Emile. "So Emile...what Pokémon do you have?"

"Well...I don't have any Pokémon." Emile confessed.

"No? Well, that can be easily remedied!" Professor Oak said.

"Wait...you mean...?"

"Yes. Come over here and I'll let you choose a starter Pokémon." Emile felt a wave of excitement rush over him. He let out a rather unmanly squeal and ran to the table. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy... What are my choices?" Emile said, playing the fool.

"Ah yes, let me release them." Professor Oak pressed a button on the three Poke Balls, revealing a small dinosaur with a bulb on its back, a small salamander with a flame on its tail, and a small blue turtle. "Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle."

"I'll take the Bulbasaur!" Emile said immediately.

[Oh? Me? Well, that is quite a surprise.] Bulbasaur said in [obviously] surprise. Emile looked down at the Pokémon.

"Um...professor...can Pokémon normally talk?" He asked.

"Why...no. Bulbasaur didn't talk." Professor Oak replied.

"Then...why did he just express surprise at me catching him?" Emile asked.

"You mean...you understood him?" Professor Oak asked. Emile nodded. "Remarkable! Quite a rare ability!"

"I can hear them too!" Tristan said. "That Bulbasaur has a big vocabubulary." Of course he messed up the word vocabulary.

"Outstanding..." Professor Oak breathed. "Well... here. Have a Pokedex. Good luck!"

"Thanks professor!" Emile waved.

"I'm leaving too!" Tristan waved. "Bye Professor Willow!"

"It's Oak." Professor Oak corrected. Emile and Tristan left the building.

"What a swell guy!" Tristan said with a smile.

"Yeah." Emile said cheerfully. "So...who are you?"

"I'm Tristan! And you're Emily!"

"NO. I AM NOT EMILY. I AM EMILE. E-MILE."

"Oh. Okay. Sorry." Tristan shrugged.

[I daresay, Emile, this Tristan doesn't seem to be the most...intellectual of humans.] Emile's new Bulbasaur stated flatly.

"Hey! I know lots of stuff!" Tristan snapped. "Santa Claus exists, Zack and Cody are my imaginary friends, and in the future card games will be played on motorcycles!"

"...You seem like a smart little guy." Emile said to his Bulbasaur.

[Oh, why thank you, Emile. I do appreciate it when my intelligence is complimented.]

"I think I'll name you... Bulbapedia."

[Bulbapedia? Well, I suppose it is rather fitting...]

"Awesome! So now what do we do?"

"Look! A giant floating lamp!" Tristan pointed out to sea. "And it's following a boat! Let's follow it!"

"Um...how?" Emile asked.

"I'll tell you how! My voice gives me superpowers!"

"I highly doubt-WHOA!" Tristan grabbed Emile, Bulbapedia clinging to his shoulders, hoisted him onto his shoulders, and dove into the ocean, then started swimming after the giant floating lamp.

"...WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING?!" Emile shouted.

"I don't know!" Tristan replied as he continued swimming.

_Meanwhile..._

Popeye cheerfully whistled a tune as he strolled down the street with his newfound companions. On his right shoulder, a small Spearow was perched. On his left, a freshly-hatched baby Shellder was sleeping peacefully. In his arms, a Magikarp happily flailed about. Slithering by his side was a large Ekans. And on his other side, he was followed by a Mankey and a Pinsir. He sighed happily as he remembered how all of this came about in such a short time...

_Flashback..._

Popeye groaned and pulled himself to his feet. "Well,shecouldabeenabitmoregentleaboutsendin'meoffImeanthatkindahurt..." He grumbled. "Hello?!" He shouted. "Anyone hear me?!" No response. "Oh well, guess I gots no choice but to look around." And so he started casually walking through the forest, humming a little scat tune while he did so. After a few minutes of walking and scatting, he heard something.

[Another human?] A dark, eerie voice sounded.

"Eh? Who said that?" Popeye looked around in confusion.

[He understands us. How amusing...] The voice said again.

"I ain'ts afraid o you! Get out here an' I'll give ya the ol' one-two!" Popeye threatened.

[How entertaining. He thinks he can defeat us.]

[Ha! That ain't happenin', boss!] Another voice said with a Brooklyn accent.

[Yeah! He'll end up like all the rest!] Popeye looked around in confusion, then noticed the skeletons scattered around this area of the woods.

"Well,ain' ." Popeye muttered. "All right, ya creeps! Bring it! I ain't gonna lose to no lousy, stinkin' no good murderer!"

[Well, if he wants it...] Popeye's pipe nearly fell out of his mouth as a massive swarm of strange birds swooped out of the trees.

"So, the little birdies wanna play, eh?" Popeye smirked, then pulled back some skin on his arm as if he was rolling up his sleeve. "Bring it ya little squirts! It's time for me to roughs ya up!" The birds all swooped down at once...but Popeye was ready for them. One by one, he connected powerful punches to every bird in the swarm, sending them all flying into trees and rocks, even burying some of them in the ground. "Yeah,nothin'butabunchalittlecanariesiswhatyouare." Popeye muttered.

[Hmph. So you're abnormally strong for a human.] The large bird, who looked rather different from the others, swooped down. Popeye was sent skidding back a few feet. The bird swooped again from behind, sending the sailor man sailing into a rock. Popeye groaned as he peeled off the rock, falling facefirst into the dirt. The bird then flew down and whacked him with its wing.

"Ow! Hey, cut it out ya big palooka! I ain't no ball! This is humiliatin'!" Popeye grunted as the Fearow started bouncing him back and forth with its wings.

[Had enough?] The Fearow said before it launched Popeye into a tree, which he collided into headfirst before falling down, hitting the ground and wobbling like a plank.

"I've had all I can stands 'cause I can't stands n'more!" Popeye shouted as he got to his feet. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a can of spinach. He looked down at it, gave it a good squeeze, and the green contents popped out and flew into his gaping mouth. Popeye's muscles seemed to grow cartoonishly, and he scowled at the Fearow swooping down at him. He wound up a fist and threw a powerful punch, catching the Fearow off guard as it was powerful enough to send him sailing through several trees hard enough to leave massive gaping holes in them. Then the Fearow smashed headfirst into a rock. It got up, shook its head to regain its bearings, then scowled and flew upwards.

[Retreat! He's too powerful!] The entire flock obeyed. Popeye smirked up at them.

"An' ya best not come back!" He shouted, shaking his fist in a threatening manner. He began walking away...but heard a groan. He turned around to see a small Spearow lying on the ground. " ..." He muttered. He was ready to walk away again...but then he turned around and saw the Spearow again. "Aw, I ain'ts got the heart to leave ya there." He said as he approached the small bird. He bent over to scoop it up...

[Gah! Hey, get away ya monster!] The Spearow screamed in a Brooklyn accent.

"Easy, fella." Popeye assured as he cradled the Spearow close to his chest. "I ain't gonna hurt ya no more." The Spearow continued struggling for a few moments...then gave in to fatigue. Popeye rushed through the forest and eventually came to a small town. He saw a small building. "Wellwhattyaknow,PokemonCenter,healsallPokemonforfree." Popeye read the sign under his breath. "Sounds like the place I'm lookin' for!" Popeye entered the building to see a young lady in a nurses outfit.

"Good Afternoon! How can I help you?" She said cheerfully.

"Heya, nurse! D'ya thinks you can help this poor little birdie? He got roughed up real bad!" Popeye presented the Spearow to the nurse.

"Oh my! You're right! Well, don't worry! He'll be good as new in no time!"

"Thanks!" Popeye said with a salute.

Later...

Popeye was sitting in the waiting room, when he heard a loud CRASH! "Huh? What the heck is goin' on in there?!" Popeye walked into the room and saw the Spearow he had saved flying around in a panic, smashing anything he could, while Nurse Joy ran about trying to catch it.

[Agh! Where are ya, boss? What is this place? Get me outta here!]

"What the heck is this?!" Popeye asked.

"Don't worry, sir! Everything is under control!" Nurse Joy assured falsely before a large shelf that the Spearow flew into fell over on top of her.

"Hmm,don'tlookveryundercontoltome." Popeye muttered as he pulled the shelf off of the nurse.

"No, no! It's all fi-AGH!" The Spearow was now pulling her around the room by her hair.

"Wow! He's a strong little fella!" Popeye marvelled. "Uh, ya sure ya don't needs no help?"

"It's...it's all fin-AAAAAAAAAAGH!" The Spearow threw Nurse Joy out the window. Popeye looked out the window to see her legs sticking out of a puddle of mud.

"All right, little fella, you needs to calm down!" Popeye reached out his hand to grab the small bird.

[LEMME GO! LEMME GO!] The Spearow started pecking at Popeye's face.

"Ow! Hey, quit it ya little whelp! That hurts!" Popeye grabbed the birds beak and held its head still as it continued struggling. Popeye remembered what he had once done to soothe a crocodile and hummed a small lullaby that slowly calmed the bird down. After the bird had stopped moving Popeye looked it over.

"Well, looks like that nurse did a pretty good job fixin' ya up!"

[Why'd ya bring me here? I mean, why help me after what my flock did to ya?]

"Well, I guess I'm just a big ol' softie."

[...That's...pretty cool of ya, man. Thanks a lot.]

"No problem. So...ya gonna go back to the other birdies?"

[The other Spearow? Nah, they'd never let me back in after how easily I was swept aside. WAY easier than the others...all you did was hit the air around me!]

"Eh? So whattya gonna do now?"

[Hmm...mind if I tag along with you?]

"Hmm...Icouldusesomecompany... All right, you're in!"

[Nice! Where to next, boss?]

"Boss? No need for that! I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!" Then Popeye blew into his pipe twice, causing two loud toot toots to come out, like a train.

[Popeye, eh? Cool.]

"Hey, uh...whattya say to aploligizin' to the nurse for knockin her into that mud?" Popeye pointed out the window to Nurse Joy's flailing legs as two Chanseys tried to pull her out. The Spearow grinned sheepishly.

[Heheh...uh...whoops.]

And so...

"Impressive. You really calmed him down." Nurse Joy said as she cleaned the mud off of the top half of her body.

"Thanks! Weren't nothin', really." Popeye assured. "By the way, he's gots somethin' to say to ya."

[Sorry for messin' up the place. And for knockin' ya into the mud.] The Spearow hung his head in shame.

"I take it he's apologizing?"

"Um...yeah, didn't ya hear what he said?"

"No. Humans don't understand Pokémon."

"Huh? I do."

"What?! That's very rare..."

"Ain't normal?"

"Not really. ...Anyway, I'm very impressed with the way you handled him. I think you deserve a reward." Nurse Joy said.

"I don't need a reward." Popeye waved a hand dismissively.

"Nonsense! Please, take this egg." Nurse Joy handed the sailor an egg.

"An egg! Oh boy, omelettes for breaky!"

"No, no, no!" Nurse Joy snapped. "That egg is NOT for eating!"

"Oh? Then what do I do with it?"

"You keep it with you, and after a certain number of steps, it hatches!"

"Hatches? Into what?"

"A Pokémon, of course!"

"Poke-what?"

"A Pokémon. Like your Spearow."

"Spearow,huh?Sothatexplainswhyhedon'tlooklikenoordinarybird..." Popeye muttered. "But he ain't mine! I just found him in the woods!"

"Hmm...well, lucky for you, I just happen to have six Pokeballs with me." She handed the six Pokeballs to the sailor. "Take these and catch some more. I know you'll take great care of them."

"Oh boy! Now I can haves me lots of Pokémon!" Popeye said cheerfully. He turned to his Spearow.

"So, ya gotta name, pal?"

[Nope. Not yet.]

"Hmm...I'll calls ya Streak! You're a fast little fella."

[Streak...gotta nice ring to it. Good one!]

"If you put him in the Pokeball, no one else can catch him." Nurse Joy offered.

"Whattya say, Streak? Wanna go for it?"

[You know it, dude!] And that's how Popeye got his Spearow.

He caught Magikarp later when he and Streak decided to partake in one of his personal favorite pasttimes: fishing. Popeye caught his Magikarp there. Streak explained that Magikarp was considered a joke amongst Pokémon. Popeye was willing to give the fish the benefit of the doubt, and named him Wave. He encountered his Ekans later that day in the tall grass. It lunged at him, and he instinctively caught it. He tossed it away, then sent Streak out after it. After a quick and simple battle, Popeye captured the Ekans. He named her Snake. Then he encountered his Mankey shortly afterward. He had stepped on its territory and made it mad, so it attacked him. Popeye effortlessly defeated the small monkey, then captured him. He decided his name would be Smasher. The Pinsir was discovered in Viridian Forest. He put some honey on a tree to feed some Caterpie and their Butterfree mother. The Pinsir decided he wanted the honey, so he attacked the small bugs. Popeye was having none of that, though, and knocked the Pinsir unconscious with one clean punch. After he caught the Pinsir, he named it Crusher. And finally, when him and his five Pokémon were walking down the path, his egg hatched. It was a Shellder. He looked down at it, and immediately came up with a nickname: Swee'pea.

_End flashback_

And so that's how Popeye met his Pokémon. He was walking down to the docks to show his companions the ships.

"...So y'see, I always did loves me a good ol' fashioned sailin' trip!" Popeye finished.

[Ssssoundssss interessssting, Popeye.] Snake hissed.

"Yeah, there's a lotta neat stuff out in the sea!" Popeye said with a grin. "Why, I've gots me so many stories to tell! I'm sure you'd love t' hear 'em, Swee'pea." The Shellder babbled happily. Popeye chuckled.

"Well it's about time you showed up!" The group turned to see a man wearing a red and black costume standing with his arms crossed next to a small pink fairy-like Pokémon.

"Eh? Who're you?" Popeye asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm your travelling companion!" Deadpool replied.

"Ooh, travelling companion, eh? WellIguessthatmakessense,thatseemstobewhatthischapter'sabout." Popeye turned to Deadpool. "Who're you?"

"I'm Wade Wilson. But, you can call me Deadpool." He motioned to his Clefairy. "And this here is Pinkie!"

[Hiya!] The Clefairy bounced up and waved happily.

[Hey, where did you get a Clefairy?] Smasher asked suspiciously. [Those are supposed to be rare!]

"Yeah, I went to Mt. Moon. Found her. Said she liked my personality. Plus, she also sees the readers! Say hi to the readers, Pinkie!"

[Hi! I'm Pinkie, and I'm so so so soooooo glad to be in this story! Deadpool is so awesome, and I get to travel around the world, and make lots and lots and lots of new friends, I guess I am kinda nervous, but I'm also excited, I'm so nervous-cited!]

"Isn't she awesome?" Deadpool said as he patted his Pokémon's head, causing her to giggle.

"Pretty insane about breakin' the fourth wall, ain't she?" Popeye asked.

[Aw, c'mon, Popeye! You can break the fourth wall like that too! It's fun!]

"No thanks!" Popeye waved his hand and grunted. "So...where'd ya get that boat?

"Well..."

_Flashback..._

"Hey Pinkie, wanna steal a boat?"

[That sounds like a super, duper, mega, ultra, chocolatey fudge coated good time!]

_End Flashback..._

"You stole that boat?!" Popeye asked, shocked.

"Yep."

"Hey! Don't go settin' no bad examples for me Swee'pea!" Popeye held the Shellder close to his chest.

"So...wanna go sailin?" Deadpool motioned to the boat.

"It don't looks like I gots no choice..." Popeye muttered. "All right, everyone! Looks like we're goin' sailin'!"

[All right, man, sounds good to me!] Streak said.

[Sailing. Oh boy. Staring a the vast, empty ocean for Arceus knows how long. How fun...] Magikarp snarked.

[Let'ssss go then.] Snake slithered onto the boat.

[Yeah, yeah, whatever.] Smasher stepped onto the boat.

[Hmm.] Crusher, ever the silent one, joined him. Swee'pea babbled happily and licked Popeye's cheek. Popeye chuckled and stepped onto the boat.

"Sweet! Time to set sail! Hoist the anchor, Pinkie!"

[Aye aye, captain!] Pinkie saluted as she pulled up the anchor and the ship took off.

"...Hey Popeye, sing your theme song." Deadpool said.

"Hmm...I don' see why nots..."

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_I'm strong to the finich_

_Cause I eats me spinach_

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man_

_I'm one tough gazookus_

_Which hates all palookas_

_Wot ain't on the up and square_

_I biffs an' I buffs 'em_

_An' always outroughs 'em_

_But none of 'em gets nowhere_

_If anyone dares-es to risk me fist_

_It's boff an' it's wham, un'er'stan?_

_So keep good behavor_

_That's your one life saver_

_With Popeye the Sailor Man_

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_I'm strong to the finich_

_Cause I eats me spinach_

_I'm Popeye the sailor man_

[Wow. Catchy.] Streak said flatly.

"Thanks, Streak." Popeye patted his Spearow's head.

"Well don't stop!" Deadpool requested.

_Meanwhile..._

Josh, Krillin and Shaggy were standing on the deck of the boat.

"Nice day out, huh?" Krillin said.

"Yeah, I can't imagine a better day for sailing." Josh nodded.

[Like, uh...what the heck is going on back there?] Shaggy gestured to the other back of the boat. Josh and Krillin turned around and stared in confusion. Behind them were two men, one with a bowl haircut and one Asian, sailing on a giant lamp, another man and a Bulbasaur riding on top of a swimming teenage boy, and a simple-looking steamboat with two men and seven Pokémon, with a very catchy song playing.

"Oh, I didn't know we were at the Neptune's Day Parade." Josh said flatly.

"That's a thing?" Krillin asked.

"Sarcasm, Krillin."

"Oh. ...Hey, look! Land!" And he was right. The boat was coming into the docks.

Meanwhile...

"I'm boooooooooored." Ian whined.

"Well, what else is there to do? We've played rock-paper-scissors, go fish, checkers, Mouse Trap, Minesweeper, and Marvel vs Capcom 3! ...Wait...don't you get seasick?" Ryan replied.

"Oh yeah!" Ian said cheerfully. Then he immediately leaned over the side and started throwing up.

"Hey look! Land!" Ryan pointed.

"Yaaaaaaaa-BLEGH!"

Meanwhile...

[I daresay this boy's vocal chords do indeed give him supernatural abilities!] Bulbapedia said in amazement as Tristan continued swimming. [Why, we've almost reached the shore!]

"That SHORE is good news!" Emile responded. The he started laughing.

"Haha! Good one, Emile!" Tristan laughed.

[Yes. Quite.] Bulbapedia groaned.

Meanwhile...

"LAAAAAAND HOOOOO!" Popeye shouted.

"Well, that was oddly fast." Deadpool commented. "Thanks, Gamer95!"

**No problem, Deadpool.**

[I sssssupossssse we'll be exploring this island?] Snake asked.

"Nah, we're just gonna stop and pick up some cheeseburger Happy Meals." Deadpool replied. "...Of course we're exploring the island! That's the whole point of this story!"

[Well excuuuuuusssssssssssssssssse me, Deadpool!]

"I forgive you."

And so after everyone reached dry land...

"Well, being on the ship was nice, but it's nice to be back on dry land." Josh commented.

"Yeah, I've always been a land guy myself." Krillin replied.

[Like, me too, man.] Shaggy threw in. [I don't wanna go back on a boat for a looong time.]

"Gosh dingly dang-ass darn, that took forever!" Ian shouted as he leapt off the lamp and onto the dock.

"Yeah, but at least you got to spend time with me. Your good friend." Ryan replied as he put a hand on Ian's shoulder.

"Ew, that's gay!" Ian removed his shoulder from under Ryan's hand, making Ryan sad.

"Hey, who are you two?" Krillin asked.

"I'm Ian, and this gaywad over here is Ryan." Ryan burst into tears and buried his face in his hands.

"That was kind of uncalled for." Josh snarked.

"And you are?" Ian asked.

"I'm Josh, and this is Krillin."

"And this is my Venonat, Shaggy!"

[Like, hey there!] Shaggy waved an antenna in greeting. Ian squealed like a fangirl.

"IT'S A POKEMON! OH MY GOD, I WANNA CATCH SOME COOL POKEMON!" He screamed as he scooped Shaggy up and started squeezing him. Shaggy's eyes turned blue as he struggled for breath.

"SHAGGY, NO!" Krillin tackled Ian to the ground, freeing Shaggy.

"Is there a fight going on here? Because if so, I'm going to win. After all, my voice DOES give me super strength." Tristan said as Emile climbed on shore, Bulbapedia still on his shoulder.

[My, my, such a nice town.] Bulbapedia marvelled.

[Like, how's it going, man?] Shaggy approached the Bulbasaur, who turned to acknowledge him.

[Oh, quite alright, thank you my good sir. And yourself?]

[It's all cool!]

[Wonderful!]

"And who might you be?" Josh asked.

"I'm Emile, and this guy here is Tristan."

"I just completely f*cked with the laws of physics!" Tristan said happily. The others introduced themselves, and then the steam boat pulled in.

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_I'm strong to the finich_

_Cause I eats me spinach _

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man_

And with that, Popeye jumped off the boat, along with Deadpool. Everyone else opted to take the ramp, and Streak simply flew down. Popeye looked at the group.

"Heya there, kids!" He said with a wave. "How ya doin'?"

"IAN SAID I'M GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAY!" Ryan sobbed.

"That's because Ian's an obnoxious idiot." Deadpool assured as he put a hand on Ryan's shoulder.

"Heeeeeeey!" Ian whined.

"[Sniff] R-Really?" Ryan asked hopefully.

"Yeah. He's always been that way."

"Wow! Thanks Deadpool! I feel better now!"

"So who are you people?" Popeye asked.

Introductions...

"Glad to meet ya all!" Popeye gave everybody a hearty handshake. "And what beautiful weather we're hav-what the...?

The group all looked up...and their expressions turned shocked when they saw that a storm cloud was covering a portion of the sky, lightning and all.

"Huh. Wonder what the hell that is..." Krillin muttered.

"I dunno...but it don't look good." Popeye muttered. Suddenly, a strange cage-like device captured Swee'pea. "HEY!" Popeye grabbed at the cage and broke it open with his hands. "Now who's the wise guy that thinks he can gets away with that?!" He scowled up at three shadowy figures as he cradled the terrified clam to his chest. "HEY! WHO ARE YOU?!"

"Who are you is the question indeed?" Said a female voice.

"We'll answer you as we feel the need." A male voice added. The three figures then pulled off their cloaks to reveal two teenagers, one female with fiery red hair, and one male with ocean blue hair, and a small cat-like Pokémon that was standing on two legs.

"Hey! Who the hell are you douche punchers?!" Ian shouted.

"I'm Jessie."

"And I'm James."

"Meowth, that's right!"

"And we're a part of Team Rocket!" All three said in unison.

"Team Rocket?" Emile said. "I've heard of you! You steal Pokémon!"

"Well, looks like one of you twerps is educated!" Jessie laughed.

"Steal Pokémon, do ya?! Well, ya ain't gettin' me Swee'pea!" Popeye yelled up at them.

"Probably not. You were strong enough to destroy that cage. However, that Bulbasaur looks rather interesting."

[Oh dear!] Bulbapedia shrinked back as the trio looked at him.

"No! You're not taking Bulbapedia!" Emile shouted, cradling Bulbapedia close to his chest.

"Look. What do you idiots expect to accomplish? You're not gonna get anywhere. Maybe if it were just Josh, Krillin, Ian, Ryan, Emile and Tristan you'd stand a chance...but you've also got me, a highly skilled mercenary that's practically immortal, and Popeye, who can defy the laws of physics and gets superpowers after eating spinach. We could easily kill you right here and now. I mean, we won't 'cause you're part of the story and all...but a very useless part."

"...Well, we can try!" Meowth said. And so they shot a cage at Bulbapedia.

"No!" Emile clutched at the cage, pulling it back towards him with great effort.

"Let me help!" Josh grabbed Emile's waist and pulled along with him.

"I got this!" Krillin joined in.

"Hey, I wanna tug of war too!" Ian added as he joined in.

"Did you know that Asians are masters at tug of war?" Ryan joined in.

"Don't worry, Emile! My voice gives me super strength, remember?" Tristan added.

"Pully time!" Deadpool joined in.

"Ain't no way you're gettin' away with this!" Popeye snapped.

[WHEEEEE!] Pinkie joined in as well.

[Like, no way man! Not happenin'!] Shaggy joined in as well, pulling with his antenna.

[Leggo, ya creeps!] Streak snapped as he joined.

[UGH! YOU'RE REALLY PISSING ME OFF HERE!] Smasher growled as he pulled.

[Grrrrr...] Crusher growled. Wave, Swee'pea and Snake were a bit lacking in the limbs department.

Suddenly, the thunder cloud started rumbling.

"Huh? What's tha-OH GOD NO!" Krillin screamed as he was struck by a massive bolt of lightning that somehow missed the others.

Krillin Owned Count: 3

The thunder also struck Team Rocket's machine, blowing it to bits. Team Rocket fell to the ground near the others. Krillin was twitching on the ground. The others ignored him while they looked up at the cloud.

"Hey! Look!" Josh pointed at the cloud.

"Hey! The kid's right!" Popeye shouted. "Looks like a Pokémon of some kind!"

"It's the Red-Eyes Black Dragon!" Tristan yelled.

"Hiya there, Zekrom! How's your sex life?!" Deadpool shouted as if he were having a casual conversation. Well..as casual as that question can be anyway.

"Zekrom?" Emile asked. "How'd you know that?"

"Eh. Read the script." Deadpool shrugged.

_Meanwhile..._

A purple-haired girl was watching the thunder storm with her Axew.

"Whoa. Something big's going on over there... Axew, let's go check it out!"

[Yaaay! Adventure time!] Axew said happily as he climbed into his trainers hair as she swooped down on a vine.

_Meanwhile..._

"WHAT IN THE GREAT NAME OF ALLAH IS THAT?!" Achmed pointed at the thunderstorm from the table where he, Professor Juniper, Mike and Jet were having tea. Well, where Professor Juniper, Mike and Jet were having tea anyway. Achmed hates tea. It goes right through him.

"I-I don't know!" Professor Juniper replied. "I've never seen anything like it!"

"Maybe we should go take a look!" Mike offered. "Looks kinda cool if you ask me..."

[I dunno, might be dangerous.] Jet replied.

"Yes! It could be good to research!" Professor Juniper threw in. "Come on boys, let's go!" And that's why they were in Professor Junipers car, driving down to the harbor.

_And so, back with the others..._

The group was staring at the massive Pokémon. Then, it flew up and a small explosion sent them all flying back slightly.

"Ow...is everyone alright?" Emile asked, rubbing his head.

"It's all good here." Josh replied.

"I am in a catastrophic amount of pain right now." Krillin moaned.

"Ugh...balls...my head..." Ian moaned.

Ryan was crying.

"That was awesome!" Tristan shouted. "Let's go again!"

"I'm fine, Emile..." Popeye muttered.

"It's all good here!" Everyone looked at Deadpool and screamed. "What?"

"YOUR ARM!" Ryan shouted. "IT'S BEEN BLOWN RIGHT OFF!" And then he fainted in a very feminine manner.

"Oh. Just a sec." The others exchanged glances, confused as to how he could be so casual about this...then watched in shock as he calmly picked up his arm and held it to the bleeding stump, reattaching his severed limb. "There. Insane healing factor. No worries. Good thing we all returned our Pokémon offscreen, eh?"

"That was some thunderstorm, huh?" Josh said.

"Too right..." Ian replied. "That was freaking NUTS!"

"And what was that shadow?" Emile said. "Was it really Zekrom, Deadpool?"

"Yep! It was him alright!" The merc with a mouth replied.

"Well that's a shame...we missed it." A voice said offscreen. The group turned to look. Popeye's eyes practically bulged out of their sockets.

"Wow,IthinksI'vefoundmesoulmate." He muttered.

"Aw, I would've liked to see it..." Mike said, disappointed.

[I'm kind of glad we didn't.] Jet said flatly.

"I am with the Oshawott on this one." Achmed added. "That thunder would have turned these old bones to dust!"

"Excuse me!" Professor Juniper called out. "Can any of you tell me about that thunderstorm?" Popeye immediately ran up to her.

"Oh, uh well, yeah, I'll uh tell ya everything ya needs to know!" Popeye said happily.

"Oh good! Glad to hear that! So, do you want to introduce yourselves?

Introductions...

"Good to meet you all!" Mike said.

"Likewise!" Josh shook Mike's hand.

"Hey guys!" Everyone turned around to see Stevie clinging to the dock, a Jellicent clutching his leg. "Can you pull me up? This thing wants to eat me!"

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Ian shouted as he thrust kicked Stevie directly in the face hard enough to break his nose and draw blood, causing him to let go of the shore and fall into the ocean, where the Jellicent dragged him under. Everyone stared as he was pulled under.

"What do you say we all go back to my lab and we can talk about this thunderstorm a little more?" Professor Juniper asked.

And so they were all inside Professor Juniper's inexplicably large car on their way to her lab.


	3. The Adventure Begins

"Hey Professor! Mind if I turn on the radio?" Deadpool asked.

"I don't see why not! Go for it, Deadpool!" The researcher replied.

"Yaaaaay!" And so he pushed the button.

_Big booty bitches..._

"HEY!" Popeye snapped as he shut off the radio. "I ain't gonna let ya poison me Swee'pea's mind with that kinda inappropriate music!" And Swee'pea was currently seated on Popeye's lap, looking around the car curiously. Streak was sitting on Popeye's shoulder, ignoring basic road safety rule number 1: always wear your seatbelt.

"Awwww, you're no fun!" Deadpool pouted.

"I got one!" Ian turned the radio back on.

_How many fools can I kill today?_

_Too many to count, don't get in my way_

_I shoot a mofo in the throat with my bow_

_Tomahawk chop is my death blow..._

"Eh, better I guess." Popeye shrugged.

"HOW IS A SONG ABOUT MURDER BETTER THAN A SONG ABOUT BIG BOOTY BIT-" Deadpool was silenced by a warning glare from Popeye.

"I don't even know how that song got on the radio." Ian chuckled. "Anthony and I wrote it before he got his stupid ass killed."

"That's not very nice to say about your friend." Ryan chastised.

"Shut up, gaywad." Ryan lightly slapped Ian across the face, causing him to burst into uncontrollable sobs.

"Are we there yet?" Tristan asked.

"No." Professor Juniper replied.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No..."

"Oh boy, I can see where this is going..." Josh rolled his eyes.

"So...anybody know any good car games?" Emile asked.

"I do!" Achmed spoke up. "It's called Toss the Bombs at Every Car in Sight to Cause Mass Destruction!" He looked around with a wide grin, expecting everybody to jump at the opportunity to play. Everybody just stared at him awkwardly. "...Or not..."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"SHUT. UP." Professor Juniper snapped.

"Okay."

"Well, I remember we used to play a game where I come from where we point out car colors, and whoever sees the most cars of their color wins." Mike offered.

"Sounds better than just sitting around doing nothing." Krillin agreed. And so they all got their colors and started.

"Red car." Josh said.

"Orange car." Krillin said.

"Brown car." Ian pointed out.

"Beige car." Ryan added.

"Blue car." Mike stated.

"Grey car." Achmed replied.

"Purple car." Emile added.

"Black car!" Tristan shouted happily.

"White car." Popeye added.

[Like, green car, man!] Shaggy added.

[Oooh, pink car, pink car!] Pinkie bounced in her seat.

[Dark Blue car! Yes!] Jet said with a fist pump.

[Dark green car! Very good.] Bulbapedia grinned.

[Heh. There's a brownish yellow one over there.] Streak grinned. Deadpool scowled in frustration at the road. All these cars, and not a single yellow one.

"OH MY GOODNESS!" Professor Juniper screamed as she crashed into an oncoming car. Josh squealed like a little girl. Krillin went flying out of his seat despite the fact that he was wearing his seat belt and landed headfirst in a garbage can. As his legs flailed, a playful Lillipup accidentally ran into the can, sending it rolling down the hill.

Krillin Owned Count: 4

Ian was screaming repeatedly. Ryan was just staring in shock. Mike had turned into Chester and was currently rambling about how flimsy cars were these days, though nobody was paying any attention because they were too shocked. Achmed was admiring the state of the other car, with the fire and everything. Emile was holding his breath in terror. Tristan was shouting about how it was all Pocahontas' fault, prompting Achmed to call him a racist bastard. Popeye was trying to console Swee'pea, who was now sobbing in terror. Shaggy was running after Krillin. Bulbapedia was assessing the damages, and was happy to report that the driver of the other car had escaped and both cars could somehow be fixed. Streak was flitting above his trainer and Swee'pea, wondering what the hell just happened. Deadpool and Pinkie on the other hand...Deadpool got a good look at the other car and grinned.

"HA! YELLOW CAR! I FINALLY GOT ONE! YEAH! ALL OF YOU GUYS CAN SUCK IT!" He pointed at Josh, Popeye and Ryan as he said "YOU CAN SUCK IT, YOU CAN SUCK IT, YOU CAN SUCK IT..." Then he did a crotch chop as he shouted "ALL OF YOU CAN SUCK IT! LIVE LONG AND SUCK IT!" There was a long pause.

[What a tasteless joke...] Pinkie shook her head in disapproval.

"I agree. Bad Gamer! Bad!" Deadpool whacked the camera with a newspaper.

"Is everybody alright?" Professor Juniper asked. They all nodded. Thankfully, the crash had taken place right outside the laboratory. After calling a tow truck for the other guy, they entered the building.

_And so, after some boring exposition that does not need to be repeated because I'm a lazy f*ck..._

"How interesting..." Professor Juniper marvelled. "Such a fascinating experience! I wish we could've been there to see it..."

"Hmm... I don't know, from the way they described it, maybe it WAS a little too dangerous." Mike replied.

"No worries!" Popeye said, looking shyly at the professor. "Uh, I woulda kept ya safe..." Professor Juniper giggled.

"Very cute and admirable how you're willing to stand up for your friends, even against legendaries." She said with a smile.

"Aw shucks, thank ya." Popeye replied. Suddenly, one of her assistants came in.

"Professor Juniper, there's a new trainer who's ready to start his journey." He reported.

"Oh? That time again already?" She asked.

"New trainer? Cool!" Mike said.

"Just like us!" Emile added.

"Yeah!" He and Mike high-fived.

"Popeye and Krillin are technically new trainers too y'know." Josh added.

"Where IS Krillin, anyway?" Ryan asked.

"I'm sure he'll be around any minute." Professor Juniper replied cheerfully. "Would you all like to greet the new trainer with me?" They all grinned and nodded.

They went out and saw a boy with short, brown hair taking pictures.

"Hello, Trip! Welcome!" Professor Juniper greeted. The boy turned with a cocky grin on his face.

"Hi Professor Juniper! I'm finally ready to set off on my journey as a Pokémon Trainer!" Trip announced.

"Welcome to the world of trainers, squirt!" Popeye greeted, reaching out his hand. Trip looked at it with a frown. Then he frowned at everyone else as well.

"Who are you people?" He asked rudely.

"I'm Josh. This is Ian, Ryan, Mike, Achmed, Emile, Tristan, Deadpool and Popeye. Krillin should be around somewhere..."

"Here I am..." Krillin muttered as he stormed in the room, covered in garbage. "Yeah, thanks for coming to see if I was okay, guys. REALLY appreciate it." He snapped sarcastically. "At least Shaggy here cared."

[Like, you know it, man.] Shaggy nodded. Krillin patted his Venonat on the head, then turned to Trip.

"Who's this?"

"Name's Trip." Trip snickered. "What are you doing covered in trash, baldy?"

"Why I oughta-"

"Krillin, no. You're at least twenty years older than him, which means you'll probably get arrested if you attack him." Josh said as he held Krillin back.

"Pfft. Whatever..."

"Where are you losers from, anyway?" Trip asked.

"Wha-well, Krillin and I came from Kanto on a boat." Josh offered.

"Yeah, and me and Ian rode from there on my giant lamp!" Ryan added.

"I swam from there with Emile on my back!" Tristan said cheerfully.

"And I stole-I mean...borrowed a boat and gave Popeye a lift." Deadpool added.

"Kanto region?" Trip laughed. "Ha! Guess it fits that Curly over there is covered in worthless trash!" Everybody gasped. Ian stormed over to him.

"YOU RACIST SON OF A BITCH!" He shouted angrily before delivering a right hook to the ten-year-olds face, knocking him to the ground.

"HEY! I SHOULD CHARGE YOU FOR ASSAULT!" Trip yelled as he got back to his feet.

"Yeah?" Deadpool interrupted angrily. "Well the police AND your lawyers will have to deal with Mr. Bang-Bang!" He then pointed a loaded gun at Trip's face.

"You don't have the gu-OH GEEZ!" He cringed as a bullet barely brushed past his hair.

"THAT was a warning shot." Deadpool warned.

"I still don't think you have the guts." Trip said, albeit somewhat shakily. He turned to Mike and Achmed. "I suppose you two came from Kanto as well?"

"No. We were here before they showed up." Mike scowled, not liking this kids attitude.

"Well, good to see a couple people with class." Mike gasped. Enter Chester.

"Why you rotten, no good kid! Your parents haven't been raising ya right! Why, back in my day, if a kid so much as looked at anyone funny, they would be spanked on their heinie like there was no tomorrow! What you need to learn is some RESPECT! I don't wanna hear no more of that discriminatin' mammy jammy, ya hear me?"

"What the heck are you going on about, you weirdo?!" Trip exclaimed.

"Oh my... seems Mike has multiple personality disorder..." Professor Juniper stated.

"Disclaimer: Multiple Personality Disorder is very serious. It will not make you strong or athletic or savvy or funny. Just sayin'." Deadpool said to the camera.

"Haha! Multiple Personalities? What a freak!" Chester whacked Trip upside the head with his cane. "Now you listen to me good, sonny! If you keep actin' like a disrespectful brat, I'm gonna put you over my knee!"

"Whatever." Trip snarked. "Can I just have my Pokémon already?"

"Here, take Snivy!" Achmed snapped as he forced the Pokeball into Trip's hand. "That stupid thing suits your personality the best."

"What if I don't want Snivy?" Trip challenged. "What if I want Oshawott?"

"Mike already took the little otter thingy." Chester said with a scowl.

[The old guy's right. Mike's my trainer.] Jet said with a shrug.

"Eh, I didn't want that hideous clown snowman thing anyway." Trip shrugged. Jet's pupils disappeared and his mouth opened in shock.

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!" Ryan ran up to Trip and started flailing his hands at him.

"Cut it out. That's really annoying." Trip said flatly.

"That'll teach you!" Ryan snapped. "Next time...you will feel my true wrath. You'll know the meaning of pain. I'll show you no mercy."

"Whatever." Trip snapped. "I'll take the stupid Snivy. Just leave me alone."

"All right...here's your Pokedex." Professor Juniper handed him the Pokedex. Trip let his Snivy out of the Pokeball.

[Oh, I ain't done with you yet, Bone Boy!] The Snivy snapped as it lunged at Achmed, who screamed and started running around the room, the Snivy on his tail.

"Looks like the Snivy's still a jerk." Mike said flatly.

"Aaand Mike's back to his old self, very nice." Emile nodded.

"Huh? What happened?"

"Ya started actin' like me pappy if he weren't an adventurer, squirt." Popeye responded, patting Mike on the back.

"Aw geez, did I?" Mike said nervously. "Um...it's..a character I play! I'm an actor and-"

"You have multiple personality disorder." Deadpool said flatly.

"H-How did-"

"The Prof figured it out. Plus, I read the story beforehand."

"...Wha-"

"Anyways, it's okay. None of us think any less of ya!" Deadpool patted Mike on the back.

[I still love ya, pal!] Jet hugged Mike's leg.

"Yeah, it's fine. Not really something you can help." Josh added. Everyone else nodded in encouragement, even Achmed as he ran from the Snivy. Trip on the other hand, was too busy using his Pokedex to scan Snivy.

"And here are five pokeballs to catch more Pokémon with, plus Snivy's Pokeball." Professor Juniper gave Trip the balls, and he recalled his Snivy.

"THANK GOD!" Achmed screamed joyfully.

"Thanks, Professor. I'm out." Trip walked out of the building and the others glared after him. Professor Juniper turned to the others.

"Since you seem to be getting along so well...why don't the ten of you go on a journey as well?"

"Hey, that would be cool! Yeah, I'd get to see some nice new landmarks... hang out with some cool friends... maybe even catch some Pokémon of my own! Yeah! I wanna do it, Professor June!" Josh said, trying to act cool in the last part.

"Yeah, sure! I could probably be useful!" Krillin added. Then he looked around, waiting for everybody to laugh. No one did, so he laughed happily.

[Like, sounds good to me, Krillin!] Shaggy added.

"Yes! Finally, the fantabulous adventure begins!" Ian said with a fist pump.

"Yeah! I can walk, dance, twirl, do other things..." Ryan added.

"Yeah, Jet and I can try some of those battles you brought up!" Mike nodded.

[Yeah, then I'll show that stupid Snivy who's boss!] Jet nodded.

"And I'll bring the bombs!" Achmed added. Everyone stared at him. "Well, you never know when you may need to blow something up!"

"This seems awfully familiar... count me in!" Emile shrugged.

"Hooray! I have lots of friends!" Tristan said happily.

"I'm going too, because the story calls for it!" Deadpool added.

[Wheee! Let's do it, Pooly!] Pinkie added.

"Well, if these fellas are goin', they may need some muscle." Popeye added. "So I guess I'll be seein' ya, Professor." Popeye kissed Professor Juniper's hand, causing her to giggle and blush.

[A'ight, boss, let's do this thing!] Streak said as he landed on Popeye's shoulder.

Swee'pea babbled happily as he nuzzled Popeye, who chuckled.

"All right, here's a Pokedex to share amongst you, seeing as how you're such good friends!" She said with a wink, which made Popeye's heart pound at least a million miles an hour. [Yay for shipping!]

"All righty then, let's get this show on the road!" Deadpool gestured towards the door and led the way as they all exited.

"So...now what?" Josh asked.

"Ugh..I feel like I know, but I just can't put my finger on it..." Emile said, rubbing his temples.

"We agree to explore the world, and none of us has any clue what we're doing. Fan-tastic." Josh said in exasperation.

"Hey, look!" Everyone looked as Tristan pointed off into the distance. "Asshole is still here!"

"Well, as much as I hate to give that little squirt more fuel to insult us... I guess we gotta ask him what we're doing." Popeye scowled.

"Why don't we just ask Professor Juniper?" Krillin asked.

"Because, Krillin." Ian said.

"Okay."

"Hey, Asshole!" Tristan shouted. "What are you doing?!"

"Huh?!" Trip yelled back. "I'M CHALLENGING THE EIGHT GYMS TO WIN THEIR BADGES AND ENTER THE UNOVA LEAGUE, YOU MORONS!"

"OKAY!" Tristan yelled back. "THANK YOU!"

"HEY, CHEESE FART!" Ian snapped. "YOU DON'T INSULT US!" Trip stormed back over to them.

"Okay, listen. I have HAD IT with you losers." Trip snapped.

"Well, that works out nicely. Since we're not particularly fond of you either." Josh shot back.

"Oh yeah? Wanna settle this with a battle?" Trip asked in frustration.

"Sounds good to us!" Mike snapped. "Who do you wanna battle?"

"Hmph! I'll let you decide. I bet I'll easily beat any of you."

[Guys...let me and Mike do it.] Jet pleaded.

"Eh? Why's that, little fella?" Popeye asked.

[Because I wanna fight that arrogant, self-centered, bullying Snivy!] Jet said, determined.

Everybody exchanged glances...then nodded. And so, Trip and Mike were glaring at each other from across the field of Professor Juniper's lab. Deadpool was hamming it up as the announcer.

"AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING WHO-THE HELL-CARES, MIIIIIIIKE AND JEEEEEEEEEEET!" Mike and Jet grinned at Deadpool in amusement. "AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING MORE THAN THE BLOB...TRRRRIIIIIIIIP AND SNIIIIIIIIVYYYYYYYY!" Trip rolled his eyes and Snivy smirked at his opponent. "LET'S GET READY TO RRRRUUUUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!" Before the battle began, Trip was taking pictures.

"Okay, what the hell is up with your little picture fetish?!" Ryan asked in exasperation. "You've been taking pictures like some kind of picture-taking psychopath!"

"I'm recording my journey." Trip replied. "And this is Snivy's first battle."

"Same here, actually." Mike replied. "Jet, hit him with a tackle!"

[Here I come, jerk!] Jet yelled as he rammed into Snivy as fast as he could. Snivy skidded back across the ground.

"Alright, Snivy, you try a tackle too!" Trip retorted.

[Alright, ya crybaby bitch! Take that!] Snivy started running forward.

"Try to dodge it, buddy!" Mike shouted.

[Ha! Can't touch me!] Jet said with a smirk.

[Grrr...I'mma pop your bitch ass!] Snivy snapped as he tried again...only to miss again.

"Alright, Jet, try a Water Gun!"

[Alright! Here goes!] Jet then fired a powerful stream of water at Snivy, causing the grass snake to flinch back from the spray. After the spray ceased, Snivy rammed into Jet once again.

"That didn't seem to do much... Jet, try another tackle!"

[Yeah!] Jet rammed into Snivy once again.

"One more time!" Jet rammed into Snivy hard enough to send him flying upward slightly. "Great, now use Water Gun while he's falling!" Jet fires a stream of water at the falling Snivy, sending him flying even higher. "One more tackle just before he hits the ground!" And so, just before Snivy hit the ground, Jet rammed into him and sent him skidding across the ground.

"Snivy! You still good to go?" Snivy staggered to his feet.

[Heh. Not half bad, otter boy.]

[Uh...thanks!] Jet replied, surprised.

"Good. Snivy, use Leaf Tornado!" Snivy began to spin around until a tornado of leaves appeared around its tail. It grabbed Jet and slammed him into the ground. Hard.

"Jet!" Mike cried in concern. When the dust cleared, Jet was lying facedown in a crater. Mike ran to his Pokémon in concern. "Are you okay, buddy?"

[Yeah, I think so...] He muttered.

"HOW THE HELL DOES THAT LEVEL FIVE SNIVY KNOW FREAKING LEAF TORNADO?!" Deadpool screamed. "HOW DOES THAT WORK?!"

"Our first win." Trip said triumphantly. "I think we synched pretty well together. I'm glad I chose you." And so he returned his Snivy and turned to Mike. "Okay, I have to admit...not half bad."

"Oh, uh...thanks." Mike replied, scratching the back of his head. Trip nodded and turned to the others.

"I'll take on the rest of you at a later time, when Snivy's all healed up. I expect you to give me a challenge. And you five?" He turned to Josh, Ian, Ryan, Achmed and Tristan, who all just happened to be next to each other.

"Yeah?" Josh asked.

"Catch yourselves some Pokémon."

"Hellz yeah!" Ian said with a fist pump. "My Pokémon will destroy your stupid snake thing!"

"Don't push it." Trip warned. Then he walked away.

"...Did his personality do an entire 180 or something?" Emile asked.

"More like a 720!" Josh replied.

"That, young grasshopper, is called the ancient art of "Characterization Marches On."" Deadpool replied, doing a wise Japanese voice.

"HEY GUYS!" The group turned and groaned as Stevie happily walked up to them. "I got away from that scary jellyfish thing! I wanna go with you guys on your journey!"

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Ryan shouted as he shoved Stevie off of a conveniently placed cliff. Nobody payed attention to his screams.

"What the-lookit that!" Popeye pointed.

"Aw geez, really?!" Josh replied. It was the same thundercloud from earlier.

_Meanwhile..._

"There's that thing again!" The purple-haired girl said as she watched the cloud.

_Back with the group..._

"HEY JUNIPER! ZEKROM'S BACK!" Deadpool shouted. Professor Juniper ran outside to watch the storm with them.

"I can't believe it... could it really be Zekrom? The legendary Pokémon?" The Professor asked.

"LEGENDARY?" Achmed exclaimed. "WHOA! SH*T JUST GOT REAL!"

"Indeed, Achmed. According to legend, from within it's thunderclouds, Zekrom watches over people and Pokémon... and it's lightning bolts are said to be judgement from up above, and they're also the pillars that hold up the skies."

"Judgement? Oh my God, it's the Pokémon equivalent of Ghost Rider! ...Nah, just kiddin'. That's Chandelure. Though Chandelure's more...evil than Ghost Rider..." Deadpool said, ruining the flow of the story. "Hey, it ain't my fault you're shoehorning my dialogue in here!" Shut up, Deadpool. "Fine."

And the group looked up at the cloud. They saw Zekrom's silhouette.


	4. Enter Iris and Axew

The group was staring at the clouds in awe.

"OH GOD WHY?!" Krillin shouted as he was once again electrocuted.

Krillin Owned Count: 5

"PROFESSOR!" The group turned to acknowledge one of Professor Juniper's assistants. "THE SYSTEMS ON OVERLOAD! THE LAB COULD BE DESTROYED!"

"NO! THEN WHERE WILL YOU DO YOUR GEEKY TECH STUFF?!" Stevie shouted from the foot of the cliff.

"PRETTY SURE I TOLD YOU TO F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Ryan snapped.

"THE LIGHTNING'S THAT POWERFUL?!" Mike asked, terrified. "IF THAT HITS US..."

"NO NEEDS TO WORRY 'BOUT THAT, MIKE! IT'S GOIN' AWAY AGAIN!" Popeye shouted. And so, the sky cleared.

"Phew...thank God that's over..." Achmed muttered.

"Hey, you okay Krillin?" Mike asked. Krillin groaned in response.

"He's okay." Deadpool said dismissively.

"PROFESSOR, WE'RE BACK ONLINE!" Another assistant shouted from the building.

"OH GOOD! GLAD TO HEAR IT!" Professor Juniper shouted back. Krillin shakily got to his feet.

"Ouch..." Professor Juniper turned to Deadpool.

"Deadpool...you seem to know about Zekrom. Do you think it was really Zekrom?" She asked.

"What are you askin' me for? You're the expert here, aren't ya?" The mercenary replied.

"Well, you seemed so sure, and I-"

"I'm just messin' with ya! It was totally him! No trace of a doubt!"

"My...I say this calls for some research!" Professor Juniper said excitedly.

"So guys...about that journey..." Emile brought up.

"Hell yeah!" Ian said excitedly. "Let's-a go!"

[Pokémon Best Wishes theme plays]

"Uh...why'd you show us that, Deadpool?" Josh asked.

"Get used to it, Josh! I'll be showing it to you guys at least once per chapter!" Deadpool replied.

"I still wanna go noooooooow!" Ian whined as the group was eating dinner.

"Now, Ian, it's getting late, and you should rest before you start your journey." Professor Juniper chastised.

"But I don't wanna waaaaaaiiiiit!"

"Listen, mister! Do you need a time out?" Deadpool wagged his finger in disapproval.

"Fiiine!" Ian said obnoxiously.

"Well, I can kinda see where the guy's comin' from!" Popeye threw in. "I can't wait to get started! As a sailor man, it's always made me happy explorin' new lands, seein' new things..."

"And making lots of friends!" Tristan added. "...NOOO! I WILL NOT TURN INTO TEA!"

"So I presume you'll be visiting all the Pokémon gyms?" Professor Juniper asked.

"Yeah, Trip explained that to us briefly." Emile answered. "Battle eight gym leaders, get the badges, all that good stuff. Hey...is there a GYM leader named JIM?!" Almost everybody groaned. Except Ian, Ryan and Tristan, who started laughing along with Emile.

[Emile, must you make those horrid jokes?] Bulbapedia asked.

"I'm afraid so, buddy." Emile patted his Pokémon's head.

"Yes we'll be checking out the gyms." Josh said flatly. "Though some of us lack Pokémon..."

"I gots some Pokémon you fellas could borrow till ya catch yer own!" Popeye offered.

"Thank you, Popeye! You're a nice guy! If you were living in a town on my hitlist, I would totally try not to blow you up!" Achmed said gratefully.

"Er...thanks, I guess." Popeye said, scratching his head.

"Well if you collect all the badges, you can enter the Unova League!" Professor Juniper added.

"What's the Unova League?" Mike asked.

"It's basically a tournament for the top trainers in a region." The professor answered.

"We're gonna dominate that entire thing!" Ian exclaimed. "I'm gonna catch a Metapod and train it to level 100!"

"No you're not." Deadpool replied.

"I know..."

"Hey, while you're out there, call me sometime!" Professor Juniper said with a wink. "I'd like to hear how you progress."

"Sure thing, Professor." Popeye responded happily. "I'll call every time I get the chance."

"Quite the Casanova there, huh Popeye?" Josh teased.

"SHHH!" Popeye snapped, glaring at Josh.

"Well, when you leave tomorrow...here's your pokeballs! Sorry I forgot to give these to you earlier." Professor Juniper handed five pokeballs to Mike, Deadpool, Krillin and Emile [Popeye has a full team] plus Jet's pokeball, and six to Josh, Ian, Ryan, Achmed and Tristan.

"Thanks, Professor!" Krillin said cheerfully. "We're gonna catch some awesome Pokémon, aren't we Shaggy?"

[Like, sounds good to me, man!] Shaggy responded.

"You're never gonna outdo me!" Ian gloated.

"Ian, don't be an arrogant dickweed." Deadpool snarked.

"Sorry."

"By the way, the first Pokémon gym is in Striaton City. Here's a map to help you get there."

"A map, eh? Well,soundslikemykindathingImeanIreadtheseallthetime..." Popeye muttered as he took the map and read it over. "Okay! Startin' tomorrow, we're headin' that-a way!" Popeye pointed at a spot on the map as he said this. Everyone exclaimed their agreements.

"Y'know, you may even bump into Trip. He left ahead of you." Professor Juniper winked.

"Iloveitwhenshedoesthat..." Popeye muttered.

"We get it, you're crushing on the professor." Deadpool said flatly.

"SHUSH!" Popeye snapped.

"Well, next time I'M gonna battle him!" Krillin announced. "And I'm gonna kick his ass!"

"Well, can't do that if you don't get a good nights sleep!" Professor Juniper said.

"But I'm not tiiiii-[SNORE]" Ian immediately fell asleep, falling facefirst into his dessert, cream pie. Professor Juniper giggled.

"Well, the rest of you better get some sleep too."

_The next morning..._

Ian woke up from his spot at the table. He yawned, stretched, made some coffee and walked to the washroom happily. Then he looked in the mirror. "OH WHAT THE FREAKING HECK?!" He shouted. Everyone else came in, yawning.

"Ian, what's with all the noise?" Emile complained.

"Who got cream all over my face?!" Ian demanded.

"Uh...you did. When you took a dive after falling asleep last night." Josh said flatly.

"Oh yeah." Ian chuckled. Then he looked in the mirror. "WHAT THE FREAKING HECK, ME?!" Then he punched the mirror, shattering it. "OOOOOOOWWWWW!" Ian whined because he was bleeding from the glass embedded in his fist.

"Serves ya right for vandalizin' other peoples property." Popeye said in disapproval.

And so...

"Goodbye, boys!" Professor Juniper waved. "Goodbye, Popeye." Professor Juniper winked at the sailor.

"Um... is it normal to see Popeye's heart practically coming out of his chest?" Mike asked, slightly unnerved.

"He is in LOOOOOVE, so yeah. He's a cartoon." Deadpool answered casually.

"There's a Pokémon Center at the other side of the forest! Stop by there is you need help!" Professor Juniper added.

"Will do!" Emile replied. "Why isn't the center at the CENTER OF THE FOREST?"

"HAHAHA!" Tristan laughed. "Those never get old."

"They got very old. After the first one." Josh said flatly.

"Bye Professor." Popeye ran back to kiss the professor's hand again, causing her to giggle and blush.

"Later, Prof!" Josh called back, failing at acting cool.

"Bye, Professor! Have a Senzu Bean in case anything bad happens!" Krillin tossed a Senzu Bean to the Professor. She caught it. "It restores your strength and heals all wounds!"

"Thank you, Krillin!"

"See ya! I'm gonna have soo many Pokémon!" Ian announced.

"Nope." Deadpool added.

"Pokémon was made in Japan, in Asia. So I'm already a master!" Ryan bragged.

"Bye Professor! Thanks for everything!" Mike called back. Jet ran back to give his old caretaker a quick hug.

"Yeah, experiments aside, it was nice!" Achmed called back.

"Being half buried in the ground wasn't exactly a pleasant experience either!" The Professor called back.

"It was called for and you know it!" Achmed called back cheerfully.

"See ya, Professor!" Emile called.

"Yeah, by Professor Oak!" Tristan called.

"It's Juniper!| The Professor called back.

"Later, Juniper!" Deadpool called.

"I love-I mean toodle-oo!" Popeye shouted.

And so, they were off.

"I wonder what kind of Pokémon we'll see first!" Tristan said. "Maybe a bug type! Or a water type! Or an ice cream type!"

"That has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard!" Krillin snorted. "An ice cream Pokémon...can you imagine?!"

"Say fellas, y'know what I love to do to start the mornin'?" Popeye asked.

"Ooh, I know where this is goin!" Deadpool said excitedly.

[You gonna sing that song of yours again, boss?] Streak asked.

"You betcha!" Popeye nodded.

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_I'm strong to the finich..._

_Cause I eats me spinach..._

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [toot toot]_

_I'm one tough gazookus_

_which hates all palookas_

_Wot ain't on the up and square_

_I biffs an' I buffs 'em_

_an' always outroughs 'em_

_But none of 'em gets nowhere_

_If anyone dares'es to risk me fist_

_It's boff an' it's wham un'er'stan?_

_So keep good behavor_

_That's your one life saver_

_With Popeye the Sailor Man_

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot Toot]_

_I'm strong to the finich_

_Cause I eats me spinach_

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

"Haha! Nice!" Mike chuckled.

"Catchy." Emile agreed.

[I should get a theme song!] Jet said excitedly.

"There are so many grammatically incorrect verses in that song it's not even funny." Josh said. "Still...not bad."

And there were two eavesdroppers in the bushes. The purple-haired girl had to stifle a giggle as her little dragon danced along to Popeye's song.

"Let's do this every chapter until the readers beg us to stop!" Deadpool suggested.

"What readers?!" Josh shouted. "What do you think this is, a fanfiction?!" Deadpool looked at the camera and winked. Josh just looked at it in confusion.

"Hey guys... Look at those bushes." Ian whispered. "They're rustling."

"Hey, you're right." Popeye whispered. "Must be some kinda Pokémon. Looks pretty crazy if ya ask me."

"Here, let's ask the Pokedex." Mike suggested as he pulled out said object. "Hmm...says here it's an Axew."

"That thing in the bushes looks nothing like the picture on the Pokedex!" Tristan exclaimed. "Is it a mutant?"

"Now, Tristan, I'm sure they prefer the term "Normally Challenged." Ryan chastised.

"Well, I'mma catch it!" Ian shouted. "GET 'EM, POKEBALL!" Ian tossed one of his pokeballs as hard as he could at the "Axew."

"Ouch!" The Axew shouted.

"Aaaawww, it didn't work!" Ian whined.

"I think Vegeta mentioned having to damage it first, Ian." Krillin offered.

"All right!" Ian took one of Deadpool's guns. "I'll try to get a critical." Suddenly, a girl burst out of the bush.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" She shouted.

"Hey, you're a person!" Ian said. "Haha! Silly me!"

"What are you saying?" The girl said as she approached angrily. "That I look like a Pokémon?"

"Yeah!" Ian nodded happily.

"Your Pokedex...is this cute face in there? IS IT?!"

"No. Y'know I'm still holding a gun." Ian said flatly.

"WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH HER HAIR?!" Tristan shouted. No one paid any attention.

"I demand an apology." The girl snapped.

"Fine. Sorry." Ian muttered.

"Fine. I accept your apology." The girl replied with a smile. "But you've got a long way to go as a trainer if you think I look like a Pokémon. Right, Axew?" She held a berry up to her hair and a small green dragon-like Pokémon came out and took it happily.

[Yaaay! My favorite!] He said happily.

"Oh,that'sanAxewhuh?GuessitmakessensewhythePokedexbroughtitup." Popeye muttered.

[Hey Pooly, when are we gonna get to the gym? I can't wait to fight the gym leaders! It's gonna be soooo awesome! I'll give 'em a HYA! and a POW! and a HOOO-WAA! And they'll be all like "AAAAAAHHHH, STOP HITTING ME," and I'll be like "No way!" And they'll be like "You beat me!" and I'll be like "Good!" and you'll be like "YAAAAAAAAY!" and we'll have a big party, and there'll be cupcakes and balloons and piñatas and it'll be so FUN!] Pinkie shouted as she bounded up to the front of the group. The girl looked down at the small pink Pokémon in shock.

"No way! Clefairy?!" She scooped up the small Pokémon. "You've got to be the sweetest thing ever! So cuuute!" She was practically squeezing the life out of the poor thing. "Those adorable cheeks!" She pinched Pinkie's cheeks, much to her annoyance. "You can't find anything this pinchable in Unova! I am dying to know what a Clefairy is doing here! C'mon, tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"Well, Deadpool here caught her at Mt. Moon, back in Kanto." Popeye explained as Pinkie struggled to free herself from Iris's grasp.

"Deadpool? That's such a cool name!" Iris complimented. Deadpool wasn't really paying attention, too busy searching his backpack for a chimichanga he packed.

"I'm Josh. Nice to meet ya." Josh nodded.

"Hello. My name's Krillin." Krillin said with a smile.

"I'm Ian! I'm gonna be a Pokeyman Master!" Ian stated.

"My name is Ryan. Good to meet you." Ryan said in a stereotypical Japanese sensei voice. "Nah, just messin' with ya!"

"I'm Mike." Mike said with a grin.

"I...am your darkest fear. Achmed...the dead terrorist." Achmed said threateningly. He looked up, hoping to see the girl scared, and frowned when she just smiled at him.

"I'm Emile." Emile said.

"My name is Tristan. ...Seriously, what the hell is up with your hair?"

"And I'm Popeye the Sailor Man." Popeye tooted his pipe.

"Nice to meet you all! I'm Iris!"

[POOLY, HELP ME!] Pinkie screeched.

"Huh? HEY, YOU'RE GONNA SUFFOCATE HER!" Deadpool shouted as he zapped Iris with a taser and scooped up his Pokémon. Iris groaned as she fell to the ground facefirst.

"DEADPOOL, WHAT THE HELL?!" Emile shouted.

"What? She was gonna kill Pinkie!" Deadpool defended.

"You could've just asked her to let go, rather than zapping her like a psychomaniac!" Josh shouted

"Aaaawww, where's the fun in that?" Deadpool waved his hand dismissively.

"So...uh...guess she just had a SHOCKING experience!" Emile said, trying to lighten the mood. Iris groaned into the dirt.

"Geez, she's in worse pain than I was after I got hit by that lightning!" Krillin stated.

"It's not that...it's the pun." Iris moaned.

"Get used to it, we'll be dealing with it the whole trip." Deadpool groaned.

_And so..._

[Hmph!] Pinkie pouted.

"Sorry about that..." Iris apologized. "So...tell me...wasn't there a thunderstorm in Nuvema Town yesterday?"

"Yeah! All because of the Red-Eyes Black Dragon!" Tristan replied.

"It was very...very POWERFUL lightning..." Krillin muttered. "I would know. I got struck by it twice."

"Wow. How'd you get better so quickly?" Iris asked.

"Senzu Bean." Krillin replied simply.

"Apparently Zekrom caused the storm." Emile added.

"No way!" Iris leaned right into Emile's face. "Zekrom? THE Zekrom? The legendary Pokémon? Please! I want to know everything!"

"Oh boy, guess we gotta tell the story again..." Popeye muttered.

"OOH, MORE POKEMON!" Ian shouted, pointing at some Deerling. "MIIIIIIINE!"

"Ian, wait!" Ryan ran after him. The others followed suit.

"Hey, wait!" Iris shouted before she ran after them as well. "Guys!"

_Meanwhile..._

"So I see it was successful?" A man on a computer screen asked.

"Yes. We've successfully infiltrated the Unova region on schedule." James answered.

"We will continue your plan to completely take over the Unova region." Meowth added.

"And we will also catch the legendary Unova region Pokémon and send them to you." Jessie added.

"What? Did you say legendary Pokémon?" The man asked, intrigued.

"Yes. But in order to do this, we will need Ekans and Koffing. Send them to us from our headquarters." James requested.

"I'm afraid that won't happen." The man's assistant said. "If you use Pokémon that aren't from Unova, you'll attract too much attention."

"I have every confidence that you won't let me down." The man added.

"Yes, but there are a couple of problems." Jessie said. "Apparently we made enemies with a powerful mercenary and a sailor who gains supernatural abilities by eating spinach."

"Surely that last one is a joke." The man asked.

"He does seem unnaturally strong." James replied. "He broke through one of our most powerful cages like it was butter. With his bare hands."

"Hmm...this could prove troublesome." The man said. "But I'm sure you'll figure this out."

"Wow! This is sooo coooool!" An extremely obnoxious offscreen voice sounded.

"Huh?" Everybody in the cave said, looking towards the entrance. Stevie wandered into the cave. He noticed the occupants and waved.

"Hi! I'm Stevie, and I was just exploring! I saw this cave and thought it looked cool, so I came in! Do you guys wanna hang out?"

"F*CK OFF STEVIE!" Jessie shouted as she punched Stevie on the back of the head, knocking him unconscious.

"Get that idiot out of here!" The man said in disgust.

_And back with the gang..._

Ian slowly tiptoed up the Pokémon. He turned to the group trailing him and put a finger to his lips.

"Shhhhh. Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting Pokémon." Then he continued sneaking in a very cartoony manner.

"What the heck is he doing?" Iris whispered.

"Being an idiot." Ryan whispered back.

"I wanna know what they are." Mike whispered. He brought out the Pokedex. "Hmm. Deerling, huh?"

"All right! Time to be awesome-tastic!" Ian shouted at the top of his lungs. "ALRIGHT, DEERLING! GET IN MY BALLS!" There was a brief pause. Then Krillin burst into laughter. Ian tossed a Pokeball as hard as he could. The Deerling knocked it back with its head. The pokeball bounced towards Ian and hit him in the nipple. "Oooooowwwwww, my nipple!" He whined. "Okay, I'll try again!" He tossed another ball, only to meet the same result. The ball hit him in the other nipple. "Oooooowwwwww, my remaining nipple! One more time!" He tossed it again...and the ball hit HIS balls. He sang opera for twenty seconds before collapsing to the ground, clutching his groin.

"You just don't get it, do you?" Iris shook her head. "You act like a little kid. If you want to catch it, you've got to battle it."

"I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE!" Ian sobbed. "IT'S MEEEEEEEEEEAN!"

Ian's cry scared away all the Deerling.

"You're an idiot, Ian." Deadpool said flatly as he kicked Ian in the side, sending him rolling forward. Ian then got stampeded by Patrat.

"OOOOOOOWIEEEEEEEE! MOOOOOOOMYYYYYYYYYY!" Ian sobbed.

"Ouch." Iris grimaced. "Are you okay?"

"How many fingers am I holdin' up, squirt?" Popeye asked.

"IAN! IN A FEW HOURS THE SUN WILL RISE!" Tristan shouted in Tristan's ear.

"The sun's already up, Tristan." Iris said flatly.

"Oh. Never mind."

"What were those Pokémon, Mike?" Emile asked.

"Let's see...Patrat, huh?" Mike checked the Pokedex.

[Why is Ian crying?] Axew asked, looking at the man in concern.

"Because he's a crybaby bitch." Achmed answered.

"...Were you just talking to my Axew?"

"Yeah, we can understand Pokémon." Tristan said casually.

"Wow! That's sooo cooooool! I wish I could understand Pokémon!"

[What does "bitch" mean?] Axew asked curiously. Popeye turned to glare at Achmed, who looked up at him wide-eyed.

"THAT is why ya don't sweat to children, Achmed!" Popeye snapped.

"Wait...what did Axew say?" Iris said, giving Achmed a terrifying death glare.

"He asked what "Bitch" meant." Deadpool replied.

"WHAT?! GET OVER HERE, BONEHEAD!" Iris screeched as she grabbed Achmed.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" The skeleton shouted as Iris shook him.

"I WILL NOT HAVE YOU POISONING MY YOUNG POKEMON'S MIND WITH SUCH DIRTY LANGUAGE!" Iris screamed.

[Mike, I'm scared.] Jet hid behind his trainer.

"We all are, Jet. We all are." Josh whimpered as the entire group cowered in fear.

"Nothin' scarier than an angry, protective female." Popeye agreed.

_"Who's that Pokémon?" A large group of people shouted._

_"Hi! It's me!"_

_"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" The group shouted all at once._

Tristan reached up and pulled an apple off a branch. He turned to show it to Achmed.

"Hey, Achmed...do you think we can eat this?" He asked. Achmed looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, uh...you probably could. It's an apple. I hate apples! They go right through me!"

"Hmm...why does this seem familiar?" Tristan put a finger under his chin in thought. [For those of you who have read my other fanfictions, you might get it.] Suddenly, they were both buried under a mound of apples. Iris leapt down from the tree.

"Dinner! Come and get it!" She shouted.

[Like, it's about time we got some grub!] Shaggy shouted, the first one there. He dug into the pile.

"Make sure ya save some for the rest of us, Shaggy!" Krillin warned. And so, everyone was digging into the pile. Except for Achmed and Popeye.

"Aren't you gonna have some apples, Popeye?" Iris asked.

"Yeah, for dessert!" Popeye said as he took out a small can of spinach. "Yeah,savin'thebigcansforwhenIneed'em." He muttered as he cracked the can open and devoured the vegetable.

"Wow. Not often I see someone who actually likes spinach." Iris said with a tilted head.

"Ya want some, Iris?" He offered.

"No thanks." She turned down. Soon, night came. The group was still finishing off the apples. They had just finished explaining their story to Iris.

"Wow. Sounds like a lot happened. Though that whole Mew thing is a bit hard to swallow..." She admitted.

"Aw, geez, what'll it take for anyone to believe us about that?" Josh asked.

"I can't believe you saw Zekrom though! I'd love to meet Zekrom! I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET ZEKROM!" Iris shouted.

[Me neither!] Axew shouted, wanting to be like his trainer.

"There's definitely a lot of cool Pokémon out there." Mike threw in his two cents. "Not just Zekrom. I wanna see as many as possible!"

"Yeah, I second that!" Emile agreed. "Something about this whole "Pokémon" thing just feels right. Like I've experienced it before... I remember certain elements before I even meet them...like Professor Oak and the Kanto starters... I can't explain it though."

"Well, if ya can't explain it, must not be worth rememberin', Emile!" Popeye said as he patted Emile on the back. "An' I agree with the both of ya! The more the merrier, that's what I say!"

"Hey, guys." Mike whispered. "We're the only ones awake." Popeye and Emile looked around. Josh was lying back, using his arms as a pillow. Krillin was lying facedown, looking like he was planking, Shaggy on his back. Ian was standing up, his head tilted to the side, eyes shut. Ryan was sleeping facedown, with his butt in the air [or as Ian calls it, Snailing.] Achmed was lying down. Although he was asleep, his eyes were wide open, because he has no eyelids. Tristan was lying on his side in his sleeping bag, with his dinosaur pajamas and teddy bear. Deadpool was also in his sleeping bag, but his teddy bear was Pinkie, who was also sleeping soundly. Streak was nestled in a tree. Jet, Bulbapedia and Swee'pea were sleeping in Mike, Emile and Popeye's laps respectively. And Iris was sitting in the tree, using Axew as her teddy.

"Well, would ya look at that." Popeye chuckled lightly as he smiled down at his Shellder. "Guess it's time to turn in. 'Night fellas."

"Night." Emile and Mike whispered back before they too fell asleep.

Popeye laid back and stared at the sky. He sighed with content. He then saw a shooting star. "Ooh, a shootin' star! Guess we'll be havin' ourselves some good luck!" He whispered to himself before he too fell asleep.

_The next morning..._

"Yo, fellas! Check out how many pounds I can lift!" Mike was talking in his sleep. Or rather, Vito was. Mike was standing in his sleep, lifting invisible weights.

"Yeah, yeah, we get it Vito, you can lift stuff! I'll probably be more useful on this adventure! I mean, I am the adventurer here!" Manitoba added as Mike's body looked smug.

"Hey, now, don't forget who the brains of the operation is, sonny!" Chester muttered.

"But what if zey need to get to high places?" Svetlana added. "Zen zey vill surely have need for ME!" And so Mike did a backflip up onto the branch where Streak was sleeping, causing him to wake up and fly off with a screech.

[Hey, what's the big idea?!] He snapped. Then Mike leapt to the tree where Iris was sleeping, bending the branch and waking up Iris. Iris looked around in confusion as the branch bent...then Mike leapt off the branch, catapulting Iris and Axew into the air.

"Settle down, you guys." Mike muttered when he landed on the ground.

"Sorry, mate." Manitoba apologized sheepishly.

Axew landed on top of Josh.

"Whooza-" Josh muttered as he woke up.

[Hi Josh!] Axew said happily.

"Oh, uh...hey, Axew. Any particular reason you decided to drop in?"

[Mike sent me and mommy flying super duper high! It was fun!] The little dragon replied happily.

"I'm pretty sure Iris doesn't agree with you." Josh said, pointing at Iris's falling form. "...Wait, you call her "mommy?""

[Yeah!]

"That...is adorable."

"THIS IS NOT MY IDEA OF FUN!" Iris screamed before landing headfirst in the ground, her legs sticking out. The impact of her hitting the ground woke up Deadpool, who looked at Iris's flailing legs.

"...SERIOUSLY?! AGAIN?!" Deadpool shouted. "Ya think we got enough running gags here, Gamer95?!" By this point, Iris was pushing at the ground with her feet.

"Keep it down, Deadpool!" Popeye snapped. "You'll wakes me Swee'pea." He stroked the clams back and he smiled in his sleep.

"Sorry, Popeye." Deadpool shrugged. "Oh, she's almost free." And the top of Iris's body popped out of the ground. She shook the dirt out of her hair and scowled at Mike's sleeping form.

"What the heck, Mike?!" Iris snapped. Mike immediately snapped awake.

"Whoa! Uh...hey, Iris. Why do you look so dirty? And...like you wanna rip my head off?"

"Well, I don't know, Mike. Why did YOU launch me into the air?!" Iris snapped.

"Whoa! I did that? Uh...sorry. I guess my personalities were unintentionally taking control while I was asleep. Again."

"Personalities?" Iris now looked curious. "What do you mean?"

"I... have Multiple Personality Disorder." Mike admitted. "Feel free to laugh now."

"Why would I laugh at something like that?" Iris asked.

"Wow. The people I've met here have been so...accepting!" Mike said happily.

[Mommy!] Axew ran up to hug his trainer.

"Aaww, good morning Axew!" Iris scooped up her Pokémon. Josh couldn't help but smile slightly. He would have to inform Iris of this sometime when she wasn't annoying everybody.

"Hey, uh...should we get everyone else up?" Josh asked.

"Iguess,weshouldprobablygetgoing..." Popeye muttered. He looked down at his Shellder. "Hey, Swee'pea. Time to wake up, squirt." He said gently. The Shellder yawned as he woke up. He babbled at his trainer happily. "Mornin' to you too, squirt!"

[Mornin', boss!] Streak landed on Popeye's shoulder.

"Streak, I told ya you can call me by name." Popeye said with a smile.

[Right. Still gotta get used to that...] Streak said sheepishly.

Deadpool shook Pinkie awake gently. Then he pulled out a megaphone.

"ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, RISE AND SHINE, LET'S GET MOVING!" Everybody who was still asleep screamed like a little girl at the sound of the Megaphone.

"Holy frig, Deadpool! Couldn't you have been less...douche about it?!" Ian snapped.

"Nope." Deadpool said. "Uh...can someone help me remove my trollface? It appears to be stuck.

"TAKE THIS, REDPOOL!" Ryan snapped as he karate chopped Deadpool's face.

"Thanks!" Deadpool gave a thumbs up. And so the group was now walking down a trail.

"Hey guys, where'd Iris go?" Tristan asked.

"She'll be back." Deadpool replied.

"How do you know that?" Emile asked.

"I re-"

"You read the story, sing a new song, will ya?" Josh snarked.

"Well, it's a brand new day!" Ryan said happily.

_It's a brand new day_

_And the sun is high_

_All the birds are singing that you're gonna die_

_How I hesitated, now I wonder why_

_It's a brand new day!_

"Uh, Deadpool, what up with the song?" Mike asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I dunno. Ask the author. He's the one writing my dialogue." Deadpool shrugged.

"Ooookaaaaay." Mike said, confused. Suddenly, a bird-like sound came across. The group looked to see a small bird-like Pokémon flying above them.

"MIIIINE!" Ryan shouted as he chased the bird. "MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!"

"RYAN, THIS IS NOT FINDING NEMO!" Deadpool shouted as the group chased after him.

"Use that infidel contraption so that we may know what it is that we are chasing, Mike!" Achmed called.

"Right!" Mike nodded. "Let's see...Pidove!"

"All right! I can't wait to...wait. I don't have any Pokémon." Ryan said flatly.

"Wanna borrow Snake?" Popeye offered, holding a Pokeball out to Ryan.

"Thanks, Popeye!" Ryan said with a smile and a nod. Popeye gave a thumbs up to Ryan in return.

"Come on out!" Ryan tossed the Pokeball. Out came Snake.

[You're not Popeye!] Snake hissed.

"Hey, Snake! Ryan's gonna borrow ya to catch that Pidove, alright?" Popeye asked. Snake looked at her master and nodded.

[All right. I'll tell you my movessssss, Ryan.]

"Okay!" And so, Ryan learned that Snake knew Bite, Glare, Poison Tail and Wrap. So Ryan approached the Pidove. "Snake, use Glare!" Snake glared at the Pidove, causing it to freeze up. "YEAH, NOW USE POISON TAIL!" Snake lunged toward the Pidove and swiped it with her tail, knocking it unconscious. "YAAAY! I'M GONNA CATCH IT NOW!" Ryan said, thrilled. He reached for his Pokeball...and was immediately swarmed by a swarm of Pidove. He screamed like a little girl and shielded himself with his hands. Snake hissed as she dodged the attacks. Then all of the Pidove flew away. "DAMN IT!" Ryan snapped as he threw the Pokeball at the ground. "I WANT IT! I WANT THAT PIDOVE!" Then he got to his knees and started pounding the ground. "I WANT IT! IWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTIT!"

[Hmm? Where did everyone else go?] Ryan looked up and grinned eagerly at a lone Pidove.

"Snake...use Bite!" Snake lunged at the Pidove and sunk her jaws into its belly. "Yes! Now Poison Tail!" Snake leapt into the air, her tail glowing purple, then she slammed it into the Pidove from above. The Pidove was lying on the ground. "Okay...POKEBALL, I CHOOSE YOU!" Ryan tossed the Pokeball at the Pidove. The ball opened, clicked shut, wiggled a couple times...and the Pidove burst out. It hovered over and glared at Ryan and Snake. "Nooo!" Ryan snapped angrily. "I WILL GET YOU IN MY BALLS IF I HAVE TO FORCE YOU INTO THEM! WHICH I WILL!" There was a brief pause. Then Krillin started laughing. Then the Pidove used Gust, blowing Snake back slightly. After that, it rammed into Snake at top speed, knocking her back slightly. Then it hit her with Air Cutter, knocking her back even more. It went in to tackle again. "Snake, dodge it!" Snake leapt up and curled her body into a hoop for the Pidove to fly through.

[Ssssssixxxxx Pointsssssss.] She hissed smugly as the Pidove crashed into a tree and collapsed to the ground.

"Yes! Now use Wrap!" Ryan said excitedly. Snake lunged forward and wrapped her body around the bird, squeezing it tight. The Pidove struggled to get free, but eventually fell unconscious. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Here goes!" Ryan tossed his Pokeball and it sucked the bird in. It wiggled three times...then clicked shut. Ryan stared for a few seconds...then his mouth broke into a wide grin and he squealed like a fangirl. He rushed to the pokeball and picked it up, then jumped up and down happily. "I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!" He squealed with joy. He ran back to the group and gave all of them a massive hug, breaking Achmed into bits and prompting Ian to call him a gayway again. This time he was too happy to care.

"Hey Ryan, why don't you let the little guy out?" Emile offered as he helped put Achmed back together. "Get to know him a little better?"

"Yeah!" Ryan exclaimed gleefully. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his new Pokémon, then tossed the ball into the air. The bird Pokémon came out and flew down to its new trainer.

[Well...I guess you've caught me.] It said in a feminine voice.

"Oooohhh, you're a girl Pidove!" Ryan said in understanding. "Yeah, I caught you. AND I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY IN MY LIFE!" Ryan squeed as he hugged his Pidove.

[Uh...thanks.] Pidove smiled.

"You're that excited over a little Pidove?" A familiar voice sounded offscreen. "What a kid!"

"Hey, cut him some slack, Iris! It's his first Pokémon!" Popeye said, unamused by the comment.

"Oh. I guess that's understandable." Iris said apologetically. Suddenly, Pidove and Axew were taken by two robotic arms.

"WHAT THE-" Everybody but Ryan and Iris shouted.

"PIDOVE!"

"AXEW!"

"Hey, it's those idiots from back at the harbor!" Deadpool shouted.

"Ya come for a biffin' and buffin'?" Popeye said threateningly, stepping forward. Then they did their motto. I'm lazy though. Not writing it here. HAHA!

"Team Rocket? Who are they?" Iris asked after the motto.

"I'll tell ya who they are!" Deadpool answered. "A buncha losers!"

"HOW DARE YOU!" Jessie shouted. "I'll have you know our boss put us in charge of a very important mission!"

"Probably so he won't have to deal with you idiots sucking at EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING." Deadpool responded.

"Hmph! Well, we have these two Pokémon. You'll never see them again." James said with a smirk.

"B-But I just caught Pidove!" Ryan whimpered.

"Aaawww, is the widdle baby gonna cwy?" Meowth taunted.

"...Did..that cat just talk in our language?" Tristan asked.

"I'm a Meowth, Lame Brain. And yeah, I talked. 'Cause I'm a genius." Then they put Pidove and Axew in a clear box. Ryan watched his Pokémon as it was shoved into the box. His eyes widened. Then he clenched his fists and trembled with rage.

"...Deadpool... lend me a katana." Ryan said dangerously.

"Oh sh*t! Ryan's gonna kick some ass!" Deadpool grinned, handing Ryan the katana.

[I got the popcorn!] Pinkie said excitedly.

"I don't know, Ryan! Are you sure you can do it?" Iris asked.

"I'm positive." Ryan said with a scowl.

[I'll help!] Jet said, standing by Ryan's side.

"Jet...you sure?" Mike asked, worried for his little buddies safety.

[Don't worry, Mike!] Jet grinned. [Battling is what I was born to do!]

"Well you might wanna get this battle started fast, 'cause they're getting away!" Josh warned. Jet and Ryan turned to see Team Rocket attaching the box to a hot air balloon and flying off with it. Ryan and Jet turned to each other and nodded. Ryan leapt up the tree, branch to branch, and when he reached the top, he made an extremely high jump and effortlessly cut through the bindings that were keeping the cage attached to the balloon. The cage fell into Popeye's waiting arms. Iris immediately ran to cradle her Axew in her arms. Then Jet tossed his Scalchop at Team Rocket's balloon, destroying their method of escape. The balloon fell to the ground and Ryan rushed over. Meowth leapt out of the wreckage and scowled as Ryan and Jet rushed towards them.

"Hmph! So ya wanna fight, do ya? Well, bring it! I ain't losin' to some squinty-eyed twerp and level five Unova starter!" The cat scowled.

"RACIST!" Ian shouted across the field.

"Alright, Jet, let's show him what this group is made of." Ryan said with a scowl.

[Alright, Ryan.] Jet nodded with a grin.

"Maybe you could use some help, Meowth." Jessie said as she made her way to Meowth's side. "Woobat, go!" And so she sent out a small bat-like Pokémon.

"Woobat, huh? Guess we don't need to use the Pokedex..." Mike muttered.

"Alright, Woobat, let's get this thing started!" Meowth smirked.

[At last. Human flesh.] Woobat eyed Ryan hungrily.

"FURY SWIPES!" Meowth lunged forward, his claws glowing white.

"KATANA SLASH!" Ryan shouted as he slashed Meowth across the chest, which...somehow did not kill or wound him, but merely injured him.

[TAKE THIS!] Jet shouted as he shot a powerful stream of water at Meowth, sending him flying.

"Hmph...I need to work on my battling skills..." Meowth muttered as he landed next to his teammates.

"That's fine. Woobat, Air Cutter!" Jessie commanded.

[Look out, dude!] Jet warned as Woobat fired energy projectiles from its wings. Jet dodged to the side while Ryan did a front flip over it, leaping to Woobat's level and slashing downward with a powerful sword strike, knocking it down to ground level.

"Hey, Jet, this is a perfect time for a tackle!" Ryan suggested.

[Right!] Jet dashed towards the Woobat at top speed, but it dodged.

"Use Gust!" Jessie commanded. The Woobat prepared to use Gust...but someone got in the way.

"Hey guys!"

"HIM AGAIN?!" Ian groaned.

"Oh not you again." James rolled his eyes.

"I wanna fight too!" Stevie said happily. "I'm super good at it!"

[F*CK OFF, WHOEVER YOU ARE!] Woobat shouted as she blew Stevie into the distance with Gust.

"BYE GUUUUUUuuuuuuyyssss..."

"Well that was pointless..." Deadpool said flatly.

[Not really.] Jet smirked. [It was the perfect distraction.] Woobat tilted its head in confusion...then was struck to the ground by a powerful swing from Ryan's katana. Then Jet knocked it away with a Water Gun, knocking it unconscious.

"Hmph...good try, Woobat." Jessie nodded.

"Now for that biffin' an' boffin' I promised ya!" Popeye shouted as he ran towards the two thieves. They responded by throwing a smoke bomb that covered the entire area. After a few seconds coughing, Popeye took a deep breath and blew the smoke away. "Mm. They got away." He scowled. Then Axew and Pidove randomly fell unconscious, because pizza is my favorite food.

"Pidove!" Ryan shouted in concern.

"Axew!" Iris also shouted. "Let's hurry to the Pokémon Center!" And so the two concerned trainers rushed to the Pokémon Center.

"That was AWESOME!" Deadpool shouted. "Pinkie, you were recording that, right?"

[Nope!]

"...No? Heheh...WHATTYA MEAN YOU WEREN'T RECORDING THAT?!" Deadpool shook his Pokémon.

[You never asked.] Pinkie shrugged.

"Eh. True."

"Great job, buddy!" Mike high fived his Pokémon, then scooped him up and held him into the air.

[Yeah! That felt awesome!] Jet shouted happily.

_And so..._

"Thank you for waiting. I'm happy to say your Pokémon are just fine." Nurse Joy said cheerfully.

"EEEEEEE! THANKS, NURSE!" Ryan squeed before rushing to his Pokémon. "Hi, I'm Ryan! Do you have a name?"

[Would you like to give me one?] The Pidove asked, tilting her head.

"Hmmm... I know! Breeze!"

[Breeze...I like it!] Breeze said in approval. Meanwhile, Iris was fussing over Axew. Then the door opened and the rest of the group came in.

"Oh..hey guys! Sorry for leaving you behind." Ryan apologized.

"T'weren't nothin', Ryan." Popeye assured. "Ya had to help your Pokémon. I woulda done the same for any of my Pokémon." Everyone else nodded in agreement. Then Popeye noticed Nurse Joy. "Hey, ain't ya the same nurse who helped Streak out back in Pallet?"

[Yeah, I remember that.] Streak nodded.

"Oh! You must be the sailor my sister told you about!" Nurse Joy replied. "She was very impressed with the way you handled that situation."

"I know. She told me so herself." Popeye said with a smile.

"Well, you're always welcome." Nurse Joy said with a smile.

"Thanks, nurse!" Popeye said with a salute.

"Hey Ryan." Ryan turned to Iris.

"Yeah, Iris?"

"Thanks for saving Axew back there." Iris nodded.

[Thank you Ryan!] Axew said.

"No problem!" Ryan said cheerfully. "Plus I have my very first Pokémon!"

[Right!] Breeze said, placing one wing over her chest and another in the air.

[Don't forget me!] Jet added.

"Jet wants credit too." Ryan said.

"Of course, how could I forget?" Iris said. Then she bent over to Jet's level. "Thank you, Jet." She patted the otter's head.

[Thank you, Jet!] Axew added.

And the adventure is only beginning...see you guys next time.


	5. A Sandile Gusher of Change

"Lalalalala! Lalalala! Lalala!" Deadpool sang as he skipped in front of the group.

"You're such a little kid, Deadpool." Iris said as she rolled her eyes.

"Why are you even coming with us?" Mike asked.

"Excuse me, but it's not that I'M coming with YOU. It's that YOU'RE coming along with ME. Get it?" The girl replied.

"What?!" Ian shouted in outrage. "Hey! That's such a bullsh*t statement! ...Do you have a cell phone?"

"Yeah, but I rarely use it. Why?" Iris asked.

"You'd better watch yourself, or I might send you Molester Moon." Ian warned.

"Ian, no! Don't you remember what happened when I sent you Molester Moon?" Ryan asked.

_Flashback_

Ian sat on the couch playing video games.

_End Flashback_

"Nothing happened. You only sent it to me once." Ian replied.

"What the heck're you fellas on about?" Popeye asked.

"I'll explain it to you sometime. Maybe we could tell stories around the campfire one day!" Ryan replied giddily.

"We are NOT following you, Iris." Krillin glared. "We left the Pokémon Center and you came after us."

"I'm walking ahead of you." Iris replied flatly.

"NOT FOR LONG YOU'RE NOT!" Krillin then started walking faster, passing by Iris. Iris increased her speed as well, surpassing Krillin. Krillin's next response was to trip Iris, causing her to fall flat on her face. Iris then got up and stomped down on Krillin's foot as hard as she could.

"OW, YOU F*CKING BITCH!" Krillin screamed as he leapt up and down, clutching his foot and screaming in pain.

Krillin Owned Count: 6

"Technically, you're both wrong." Josh commented. "We're all following Deadpool."

"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah! Zip-a-dee-ay! My oh my what a wonderful day!" Deadpool and Pinkie sang as they skipped.

"Look. You guys don't know the Unova region, so I figured I'd help you out." Iris said with her arms crossed. "And what do I get for trying to be a little bit nice? A bald midget and an idiot with a stupid bowl haircut yelling at me!"

"Oh yeah, you're one to insult someone's hairstyle, miss Purple Poofy Hair that Goes down to your Ankles!" Ian snapped.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!" Iris screeched.

"I DON'T EVEN RECALL ANY OF US ASKING FOR YOUR HELP!" Ian yelled back.

"OH, SO YOU THINK YOU'RE A TOUGH GUY, HUH? YOU ARE SUCH A KID!" Iris yelled back

"I'M OLDER THAN YOU!" Ian yelled. "YOU'RE, WHAT, SIXTEEN?! YOU'RE SUCH A KID TOO!"

"YOU'VE GOT SOME NEVER SAYING THAT TO ME!"

"OH YEAH?! WHY DON'T WE SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN?!"

"I'M A GIRL!"

"COULD'VE FOOLED ME!"

"OH THAT IS IT! YOU ARE GOING DOWN!"

"Just f*ck already!" Tristan yelled.

"The author does not ship Iris X Ian, Tristan!" Deadpool called back.

"This cannot end well." Josh said flatly.

"Should we intervene?" Emile asked.

"No way, man! Catfight!" Tristan said eagerly.

"...Ian's a man, you fool." Achmed said flatly.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Ian and Iris were glaring at one another from. Their gazes could sear the soul of the Ghost Rider himself. Iris clenched her fists and raised them, a cocky grin spreading across her face. Ian cracked his neck and got into a karate pose. The two stared each other down for ten more seconds. Then Iris slapped Tristan across the face and he ran away crying. Iris smirked as Tristan curled up in a fetal position.

"And that's how it's done." She said smugly.

_Pokémon Best Wishes theme_

"Look, fellas...let's jus' get to the nearest town so we can get some travellin' stuff." Popeye pleaded.

"You just want an excuse to talk to Professor Juniper." Mike teased as he nudged Popeye with his elbow.

"Th-that ain't true!" Popeye blushed.

"Come on, you kissed her hand!" Achmed exclaimed.

"I was just bein' polite is all..."

"Aww, you have a crush!" Iris giggled. "That's adorable."

"HEY GUYS, WE'RE COMING TO THE CITY NOW!" Deadpool called back.

"GREAT NEWS!" Popeye shouted as he dashed forward.

_And so..._

"Sounds like you've had quite a time out there boys!" Professor Juniper said from the intercom. "And I see you have a new travelling companion."

"Hi! My name's Iris! Nice to meet you Professor Juniper!" Iris greeted.

"Same to you Iris. And how's my little Oshawott doing?"

"He's right here, Professor." Mike held Jet up to the screen to say hi.

[Hi Professor Juniper!]

"Hello, Jet! I trust Mike's been taking care of you?"

[Uh-huh!] Jet nodded.

"Very good. Well, it was great hearing from you all. Talk to me next time you reach a new town, won't you?"

"We definitely will." Popeye nodded ecstatically.

"Thank you, Popeye." She winked and Popeye swooned. "See you soon."

"Now he absolutely cannot possibly tell us he's not in love with that woman." Krillin said flatly.

"But wait...Professor Juniper is, like, twenty. And...Popeye looks like he's in his forties." Josh scratched his head in confusion. Popeye immediately sprang to his feet and glared at Josh.

"Hey! I'm twenty seven years old ya little whelp!" He snapped.

Josh held his hands up defensively. "Alright."

"Uh...guys? Have you seen Jet anywhere?" Mike asked nervously.

"No. Why?" Ryan asked.

"He's gone!" Mike exclaimed.

"Looks like we've got some detective work to do." Josh said.

"Indubitably, my good chap." Deadpool said as he placed a bubble pipe in his mouth.

"...Where'd you get that?" Emile asked.

"Hammerspace."

"...Wha-"

"Quiet, Emile, let's go find Jet!"

"Where could he have gone?" Iris asked.

"Let's split up in groups of two. That way we'll cover more ground." Josh suggested.

"There's eleven of us." Iris replied.

"Ian and Tristan are gonna need a third person to keep them on track." Josh answered. And so, they were all off looking for Jet.

"Okay, he couldn't have gone far." Josh said. "We just need to look around the building. If he's not there, we'll all meet up and search more thoroughly."

"Right!" Everyone nodded before splitting up.

With Josh and Iris...

"Okay, maybe in this bush-OH GEEZ!" Josh leapt back as a random swarm of Swoobat flew out of the bush. He and Iris stared at the swarm in confusion.

"...What." Iris said flatly.

"...Well, that happened. Okay, keep checking the bushes."

With Krillin and Achmed...

"Um...Achmed, are you sure this is a good idea?" Krillin asked uneasily as Achmed held the lighter over the stack of bombs in the cave.

"Yes, Krillin." Achmed sighed impatiently, an amazing feat considering he doesn't have breath. "The explosion will scare him out of the cave."

"Or it'll kill him."

"No risk, no glory." Achmed shrugged. He lit the bombs, and they exploded, sending rocks flying everywhere. Achmed was ducking for cover behind a bush. After the explosion, Achmed peeked out from behind the bush. Jet did not come out. "Allah damn it! Guess he wasn't there, huh Krillin?" No response. "...Krillin?" He looked over and saw Krillin's arm sticking out of a pile of rocks. "Um...oopsie." Krillin groaned.

Krillin Owned Count: 7

With Ian, Tristan and Deadpool...

"Hey guys, do you think Jet's hiding in here?" Ian asked, pointing to three six-packs of soda that was there for no apparent reason.

"Let's find out." Deadpool grinned as he walked over the the cans. He picked one up and held it up to eye-level. "JET! YOU IN THERE?!" He shouted. No answer. "PRODUCE A FIZZING SOUND WHEN I OPEN THE CAN IF IT'S YOU!" He opened the can and it produced a fizzing sound. "JET! THANK GOD!" He took a massive swig of the soda through his mask somehow. "YOU'RE DELICIOUS!"

"Hey, I want some Jet too!" Tristan said.

"Yeah, quit hogging him!" Ian whined. Deadpool tossed them each a can of soda. "Here ya go, fellas!"

[What about me, Pooly?]

"Of course, how could I forget?" Deadpool gave his Clefairy a can...

With Ryan and Emile...

"ANYTHING, BREEZE?!" Ryan called up to his Pidove.

[Nothing yet, I'm afraid.] Breeze called back.

[There must be a logical explanation for our dear friend Jet's disappearance.] Bulbapedia added.

"Hmm...Maybe he's in that pond over there." Emile suggested.

With Mike and Popeye...

"Mike, ya needs ta calm down!" Popeye tried to reason.

"I can't calm down! I'm freakin' out, man! I'M FREAKIN' OUT!" Mike shook Popeye by the shoulders as he said this last bit.

"We'll find him, squirt! No worries!" Popeye clapped a hand on his shoulder. He turned to his Pokémon. "Any sign of 'im?"

[No, boss. He just ain't around.] Streak replied. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Okay...Okay. I just need to keep a...clear head..." Mike said.

"Atta boy. Let's find your Pokémon." Popeye nodded.

And so...

"ANY LUCK?!" Mike shouted hopefully when they regrouped.

"We found a sward of Swoobat, a herd of Petilil and a dog. No Oshawott." Iris said.

"...They have animals here?" Emile asked.

"Of course! Where do you think we get our meat from?" Iris asked.

"So, no luck with us either." Krillin admitted. "Even after I let Shaggy out."

[Like, I'm real sorry man.]

"Yeah, and Breeze couldn't find him from the air." Ryan added.

"Oh man..where did he go...?" Mike said sadly.

"Ah, I'm sure we'll find him eventually." Popeye patted Mike on the back reassuringly. "Say...where're Tristan, Ian an' Deadpool?"

CRASH!

Everyone ran to the source of the noise, which was inside the building. They saw their three missing companions running around in a panic while Pinkie was literally bouncing off the walls.

[WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THISISOMUCHFUNILOVEPOPSOMUCHCANIHAVEMOREDEADPOOLPLEASE!]

"What the hell is going on? It looks like a bomb went off in here!" Achmed exclaimed.

"I GAVE PINKIE SODA!" Deadpool screamed as he ducked to avoid getting hit.

"OH GOD IT'S THE END!" Ian screamed just before he got hit in the face by the flying Pinkie.

"IN A FEW HOURS THE SUN WILL RISE!" Tristan yelped as Pinkie hit his gut.

Popeye caught Pinkie with one hand and struggled to hold her down.

"Hmm,quiteasugarrushyagotgoin'onhere..." He mumbled. And so, Deadpool struggling to hold his hyper Pokémon, they were ready to continue the search for Jet.

"Okay, let's try over here." Josh suggested. They started walking...and the ground beneath them seemed to disappear. Everybody looked down to see that they were standing on thin air. They all looked up calmly.

"Well...this defies the laws of gravity." Josh said flatly.

"Yes. Yes it does." Emile agreed. Then they all fell down, Deadpool letting Pinkie go by accident in the process.

"CRAP!" He exclaimed. "Eh, she'll be back next paragraph."

[WHEEEEEEEEEE!] Pinkie shouted with glee as she bounced off of trees, rocks, the building, the Pyramid of Giza, and finally, she was sent flying back down by an airplane. She landed headfirst in the hole with a deafening thud. Deadpool looked over and saw his Pokémon's legs sticking out of the dirt.

"..Why does this always happen to the girls?" He asked.

"It happened to me." Krillin offered.

"...Why does this always happen to the girls?"

Krillin Owned Count: 8

"What's going on?" Iris asked.

"Mm...Looks like we fell in a trap." Popeye said.

[Yawn...hey, what happened?] Axew asked.

"We're at the bottom of a hole." Deadpool replied as he yanked Pinkie out of the ground.

[Oh boy! Are we digging for treasure?!]

"No, we're trying to figure out who dug this hole so I can give their balls a squeeze!" Ian shouted.

"GAAAAAAY!" Deadpool shouted.

"SHUT UP, ASSBASKET!"

"Hey, watch your mouth!" Iris scolded. "Axew, don't repeat those words."

[Okay mommy.]

"Oh man, Sandile strikes again." A male voice sounded. The group looked up to see a young man standing at the top of the hole, smiling down at them.

_Meanwhile..._

"I'll bet they'll totally let me come with them on their adventure after I give them these pretty pink princess pony friendship bracelets I bought off the internet!" Stevie said happily as he walked down the dirt path. Then the ground beneath him gave way and he fell into a pit. "Wow! It's a good thing these sharp, hard rocks broke my fall!" Stevie exclaimed as he bled all over the ground and nursed his broken ribs.

[Heheh...'nother chump fell in one of my holes.] Stevie looked over to see a small crocodile-like Pokémon with sunglasses.

"Hi! My name is Stevie!" Stevie reached out to pet the crocodile...and the Pokémon immediately bit his hand off.

"Ouch!" Stevie exclaimed, never losing his smile.

_And so, back with the group..._

"Thanks for getting us out of that hole. It was... THE PITS!"

"Haha! You're so funny, Emile!" Ian laughed.

"Funnyain'tthewordI'dusetodescribeit...quitetheoppositereally." Popeye muttered.

"Uh...no problem." The guy said. "Sandile is quite a handful..."

"Sandile, huh?" Mike pulled out his Pokedex and read up on it. "Hmm..." Then everybody introduced themselves.

"My name's Dan, and my family and I operate a resort spa and hotel that's not far from here."

"That's so cool! I happen to adore resort spas!" Iris gushed.

"Oh boy, a spa! I love those things, they moisturize the skin and keep it healthy, as well as the relaxing massages..." Josh added.

"Yeah, I'll bet a spa appointment would help out with all the injuries I've sustained." Krillin added.

"Oh boy! A spa! I can get a facial, a manicure... OOH! A NEW HAIRSTYLE!" Ian exclaimed. Everybody stared at him. "Oh, what guy doesn't do that stuff from time to time?!"

"True." All the others shrugged.

"A spa? Yaaaaaaaay!" Ryan cheered.

"Spas are nice, I guess." Mike shrugged.

"I must admit to finding spas rather...enjoyable." Achmed added. "The hot tubs make my bones squeaky clean!"

"A spa could be kinda relaxing." Emile admitted.

"Hooray! I love spas! Do they have an ice cream stand?" Tristan asked.

"Oooooooh! A spa! I can show them my beautiful face!" Deadpool took off his mask, prompting everyone to scream in horror.

"DON'T LOOK, AXEW!" Iris shielded the little dragons eyes, much to his confusion.

"Well, that's just rude!" Deadpool pouted as he put his mask back on.

"Anyway...spa, eh? Hmm...I kinda remember goin' to one'a those with a woman... can't quite place the face though..." Popeye said thoughtfully. "Well, anyway...nice."

"Well, I'm glad you all think so... but unfortunately we're closed right now." Dan replied. "Because of Sandile."

"Huh?" Everyone said.

"See, our hot sand spa is our hotels biggest attraction." Dan said as he led them to his hotel, much to Mike's protests. ["Jet's still missing you guys!"] "Now it looks like this." There were holes littering the ground.

"Holy [BLEEP] on a [BLEEP] sandwich!" Tristan exclaimed.

"It just happened a short time ago." Dan added.

_Flashback to Dan and his father helping a couple relax in their sand when a swarm of Sandile start tearing the place down..._

"So for now, I'm afraid we're going to have to stay closed." Dan concluded.

"These Sandile were friendly before, right?" Josh asked.

"That's right." Dan nodded.

"So why would they suddenly go berserk?" Emile asked. Then he gasped. "MIND CONTROL!" He joked.

"That would be a valid explanation." Dan chuckled. "But we don't have any idea why this happened."

"Hey, fellas! Whattya say we help the kid find out?!" Popeye suggested.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT JET?!" Mike exclaimed.

"He'll be back, Mike. Get in the sand." Deadpool said flatly as he ripped off Mike's shirt. Mike gasped.

"Hey-oh! 'Bout time I got to come out!" Vito exclaimed. He turned to the group. "Good ta finally meetcha, peeps!"

"...What is he doing?" Dan asked.

"MPD." Deadpool said flatly.

"Oh."

"So what're we doin?" Vito asked.

"SPA DAY!" Ian, Ryan, Tristan and Deadpool leapt onto the sand, their Pokémon in tow.

"Eh, sounds cool to me." Vito shrugged as he joined them as they got under sand blankets.

"This is so relaxing! Like I'm a leaf...gently drifting down a stream." Ian said.

"I feel at one with nature." Ryan said calmly.

"The sun has risen." Tristan said, also calmly.

"Sage-like dialogue." Deadpool said calmly.

"You fellas hit the nail right on the head." Vito said with a smirk.

"Guys, what the heck are you trying to accomplish here?" Josh asked.

"To figure it out, we need to do some research, don't we now?" Deadpool asked.

[Yeah, silly Iris!] Pinkie added.

"All you care about is checking out the hot sand." Iris snapped.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Ian said.

Suddenly, Axew popped up next to Pinkie in the sand.

"...The f*ck?" Achmed said in confusion.

"Aw, not you too Axew." Iris said, exasperated.

"I could stay here for the remainder of my existence." Ryan said in pure bliss.

"I second that, pal." Vito agreed.

[This feels nice...] Axew said tiredly. Little did they know they were being watched...

"It appears those twerps are having the time of their lives." James said, looking through his binoculars.

"That's a perfect opportunity to swipe some of their Pokémon. Hmm...perhaps the mercenary, the sailor and the ninja would be valuable assets. Perhaps we should get some powerful machinery to take them along with us?" Jessie suggested. They were interrupted by a Sandile. "Hmm? What's this?"

"A Sandile, hmm?" James said.

"It better not blow our cover." Meowth added.

[What're you chumps up to?] Sandile asked.

"I think you'd better become scarce." Meowth glared at the Sandile.

[I was just leavin' anyway, ya jerk!] Sandile snarled before diving under the sand.

"Guys, I thought we were searching for Jet! Remember?!" Iris asked. Vito shot up.

"Oh snap, that's right! Mike's little buddy's gone missin'!" He exclaimed. Then they heard a familiar voice sighing. They looked over and there was Jet, lying in the sand. Vito gasped, and Mike regained control.

"JET!" He shouted. He ran over, pulled Jet out of the sand, and started shaking him. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! DON'T EVER DO THAT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS?!" He shouted as he shook his Pokémon.

[I-I-I-'m-m-m s-s-s-orr-r-r-y, Mi-i-i-ike!] Jet exclaimed as Mike continued to shake him.

"Mike, if you keep it up you might shake his head off!" Krillin shouted.

"That made no sense." Deadpool said.

"Shut up, Deadpool." Krillin snapped. Mike stopped shaking Jet and then held him close to his chest.

"You think it's okay to just run off like that? Well you're grounded, mister!" He said.

[...I'm not a child, Mike. You can't ground me.] Jet said flatly.

"Look, please don't do that to me again, okay?" Mike asked.

[...Okay. I'm sorry.] Jet smiled as he snuggled up to his trainer.

"What a heartwarming reunion!" Tristan pointed out the obvious.

[Raagh!] The group looked over to see a Sandile pop out of the sand. [Hey, you!]

"Look, guys! It's the leader of the Sandile!" Dan pointed.

"Leader,eh?Guessitmakessensewhyit'swearin'sunglasses." Popeye muttered.

[Take this, sucker!] The Sandile yelled as it took Axew in its Jaws.

[Aah!] Axew shouted in surprise.

"No, Axew!" Iris shouted.

[Ah! Mommy!] Axew shouted.

"We'll save you, Axew!" Emile said. "Ready, Bulbapedia?"

[Indeed I am! Finally, time to charge headlong into the field of combat!]

"Great! Use Razor Leaf!"

"Emile, no! If you do that, you'll hurt Axew!" Iris exclaimed. Then she ran up the the Sandile and grabbed it around the waist, then squeezed it as hard as she could.

"GIVE...ME...BACK...MY...AXEW!" She exclaimed.

"Good idea, Iris! Knock the wind out of 'im!" Popeye nodded. Josh ran up to help.

"Ugh...open your mouth, chocodile!" He said in annoyance.

"My superpowered voice will save the day!" Tristan ran to help as well.

"Get your jaws off that kid!" Krillin snarled.

"Let go!" Mike yelled as he helped too.

[Yeah, seriously!] Jet agreed.

[Like, attackin' kids just ain't right, man!] Shaggy agreed.

"Iftheycan'tdoit,I'llstepin." Popeye muttered. "Meguradianalwaystoldmethissortathingbuildscharacter." Everyone pulled on the Sandile and Axew.

"I've got a fantastic idea!" Deadpool shouted. He ran towards Breeze and plucked a feather from her wing.

[Ow! What was that for?!] She snapped. Deadpool then proceeded to run up to the Sandile and tickle its nose with the feather, causing it to sneeze and sending everyone flying back. Krillin hit his head on a rock and fell unconscious.

Krillin Owned Count: 9

[Why you...] Sandile snarled. Then he leapt forward and caught Shaggy and Jet in his teeth.

[Zoinks!]

[No!]

The Sandile landed perfectly on the sand. Everyone that was pulling was helped up by Ian, Ryan, Achmed, Emile and Popeye. [Heh, got your little pals, chumps! What're ya gonna do now?]

"Shaggy!" Krillin shouted in concern.

"Jet!" Mike shouted.

[Later, losers!] Sandile ran off. [Heheheh-what the...?!] Sandile was lifted off the ground by a crane.

"The flying fudge muffin is that?!" Ian asked.

_Team Rocket Motto_

"Oh, is these insignificant infidels again!" said an exasperated Achmed. "Don't you fools know when to quit?"

"Y'know you're still overdue for that biffin' and buffin'." Popeye snarled.

"GIVE US BACK OUR POKEMON YOU ASSHOLES!" Krillin shouted.

"There's a slight flaw in your premise, since they're now OUR Pokémon." Jessie said smugly.

[No we're not, man! I don't wanna be your Pokémon!] Shaggy shouted.

[Yeah, let us go you creeps!] Jet shouted. Team Rocket simply backed up the crane. The others immediately made to chase after them...but Meowth tossed a smoke bomb at them.

"Ugh...Hang on, fellas! I gots this!" Popeye blew the smoke away. But Team Rocket was gone.

"...They have Shaggy." Krillin said sadly.

"Krillin...it'll be okay." Iris assured.

"THEY HAVE SHAGGY!" Krillin ran at top speed into the distance, roaring in fury.

_Meanwhile..._

"That went well." Jessie smirked.

"Let's send 'em back to the boss!" Meowth said in agreement.

"Right away!" James agreed. Suddenly, they got stuck in a hole. They looked down in frustration...then saw a herd of Sandile coming towards them.

[Hey, they got the boss!]

[Aw, hell no!]

[We're gonna havta teach 'em a little lesson.]

"TEEEEEEEAAAAAM ROOOOOOOCKEEEEEEET!" Krillin ran up to the area, the other close behind. He looked up and saw the crane. "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR F*CKING ASSES, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!" The midget leapt up the Cliffside. "Grr...huh? Sandile?"

The swarm of Sandile was approaching the crane.

"Stay away, all of you!" Meowth scowled.

"RAAAAAAGH!" Krillin ran up, flew up to the cat's level, and delivered a flying kick directly to his face, sending him flying into the a rocky mountain.

"My...this one could be useful as well." Jessie mused.

"KISS MY ASS YOU F*CKING BITCH!" Krillin delivered an uppercut to her chin, sending her flying to the ground.

"My...you're a strong one, aren't you?" James asked.

"SHUT YOUR F*CKING GODDAMN BITCH-ASS MOUTH YOU PIECE OF SH*T!" Krillin screamed as he delivered a roundhouse kick to the blue-haired boy's face, knocking him back to the ground. Krillin snarled as the three rockets leapt up to the Cliffside. Then the crane started getting dragged underground. "Huh? Oh geez!" Krillin was dragged underground along with the crane.

[Let us go, man!] Shaggy pleaded.

[Seriously, stop this already!] Jet agreed. The Sandile were all approaching Team Rocket menacingly.e

"We'd better retreat." James suggested.

"Right." Jessie agreed. The three rockets ran off, and Sandile released the two Pokémon he was carrying.

[Huh? Why?] Jet asked. Then they noticed a group of Pidove, Deerling and Patrat talking anxiously amongst themselves.

"There they are!" Mike said in relief as the group ran to the site.

"Yeah, and check out all of those wild Pokémon too!" Iris agreed.

"What's going on here?" Emile asked.

[A'ight, folks! Check this out!] The Sandile with sunglasses exclaimed. Then a geyser of water erupted in the ground off in the distance. Pretty soon it was erupting everywhere.

"WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?!" Popeye asked.

"It's a water park! Let's play in the water!" Tristan suggested.

"It's a geyser!" Josh exclaimed.

"What's a geyser?" Ian asked, because in case you haven't noticed...Ian's kind of a dumbass.

"A geyser is boiling water that erupts from the ground." Josh answered.

"I'VE NOTICED THAT TOO!" Krillin shouted as he was at the top of a geyser. "HEEEEELP MEEEEEE!"

Krillin Owned Count: 10

"I've never seen a geyser around here!" Dan exclaimed while Popeye went to help Krillin. The geysers kept erupting, sending water streaming through the area.

[Get movin', folks. Whattya think this is here, a fire drill? Get goin'!] The lead Sandile ordered.

"Looks like the leader there's treatin' 'em to a real life game of Lemmings!" Deadpool observed. "...What kinda joke was that?"

"I'll bet the Sandile are trying to protect the other Pokémon!" Dan said. "Maybe that's the reason they came to the sand bath in the first place...maybe they were really trying to warn us all about the geysers!"

"Is that why Sandile grabbed Axew?"

"It was trying to SAVE the little frog!" Achmed realized.

"SAY THAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU!" Iris growled.

"I'm sorry." Achmed squeaked.

"That Sandile's alright! He's not a chode-knocker at all!" Ian said happily.

"Hey, Jet!" Mike exclaimed.

[Hm? Mike! Thank Mew you're here!] Jet exclaimed.

_"You're welcome." _Mew giggled as she watched from above.

"Shaggy!" Krillin shouted after Popeye had gotten him down from the geyser.

[Like, you're okay, Krillin!] Shaggy shouted happily.

[Hey! Where d'ya think you chumps are goin'?] The lead Sandile snapped. The ground was shaking hard now.

"That sounds huge!" Dan exclaimed.

"It's like the time Walter's wife took a step!" Achmed exclaimed. "That's why Atlantis isn't around anymore."

Mike and Krillin were hugging their Pokémon happily...when they noticed the water gushing out of the Cliffside. The boiling water surrounded the area the wild Pokémon were standing on and destroyed the ground, leaving the Pokémon surrounded by boiling water.

"Now what do we do?!" Iris asked.

"There'll be trouble if another big one blows!" Dan added.

"That's what she said." Achmed snickered.

And then the ground started shaking. Hard.

"It would take an Olympic Gymnast to get over there!" Josh exclaimed. Mike gasped.

"Did somebody say...GYMNAST?! Vell, friends, Svetlana will take care of everything!" Svetlana exclaimed. She made a flying leap and did a series of flips as she attempted to jump to the rock...but just as she was about to land, it crumbled away, causing Svetlana to land in the scalding hot water. "Eep! Zis is too hot!" The gymnast leapt back to the shore. "Zat vas no good, friends! Ze rock...eet is too unstable! And even I cannot make ze jump now!"

"There's gotta be some way..." Josh thought. "Hmmm... what are the Sandile doing?"

The lead Sandile was biting onto a rock, and all the others were biting on each others tails, so they were all upside down. "Oh, I see! They're making a bridge!" Josh realized. "That's a smart move!"

"Woo-hoo! Right on, Sandile!" Tristan shouted.

"You can do it!" Iris agreed. The tower of Sandile fell over, creating a bridge to the rock.

"All right! Now for the obvious solution...cross over the bridge!" Josh exclaimed.

"What's up with 'em?" Popeye asked.

"Looks like they're scared!" Ryan replied.

"What a bunch of pussies!" Ian laughed.

"Shut up, you dick." Krillin snapped.

"Sorry."

"You guys have to cross!" Emile shouted.

"Y'know, you could always wait for that rock to crumble away completely so you fall in the water and drown while feeling your flesh get burned raw." Deadpool shrugged. Still they hesitated.

"I hope I know what I'm doing..." Josh muttered as he ran across the bridge of Sandile and reached the rock. "There! If I can do it, you can do it!" A Deerling timidly approached the bridge and started to cross. "That's right, keep going, all of you. You can do it. Wait...you're Pidove. You have WINGS! Why were you just sitting on the rock when you could easily just fly to safety?!" Josh's confused yelling scared the Pidove off the rock and the rest of the Pokémon continued to cross. Josh sighed with relief and got ready to cross himself...but the rock under the Sandile at the end crumbled away.

"AW GEEZ!" Josh grabbed the Sandile and kept them all from falling in. "GUYS! A LITTLE HELP HERE?!"

Then a geyser of water erupted and started descending towards Josh.

"JOSH, LOOK OUT!" Iris shrieked.

[I got this!] Jet leapt up and fired a water gun at the geyser, blowing it away. [Yeah! Haha! Huh? OH CRAP!] Jet started falling headfirst into the water.

"Jet, return!" Mike called Jet back to his Pokeball. He sighed in relief. "YOU OKAY, JOSH?!"

"YEAH, AT THE MOMENT!" Josh called back. Then he completely lost his grip on the Sandile. He was about to fall into the water...but someone grabbed his hand. He looked up to see Iris clutching his hand, smiling at him.

"Ha...that was pretty crazy, Josh." Iris said.

"I know. I don't know what I was thinking." Josh panted.

"I'll tell you what you were thinking of: others." Iris said with a smile. Josh smiled back. The Sandile brought the two back to shore. And in order to do so, they all let go of each others tails, so they all fell to the ground. Josh and Iris sat up and smiled at each other. Then everyone smiled at the Sandile.

[Heheh. Nice work, bighead.]

"Hey, my head is NOT that big!" Josh protested. Iris giggled.

"You kids alright?" Popeye asked.

"Popeye woulda helped you outta that mess, but the author didn't write it that way." Deadpool said. Popeye nodded.

"That was firetrucking SA-WEET, Josh!" Ian exclaimed.

"Thanks, guys. We're all okay." Josh nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, no harm done." Iris added. Everyone cheered. And so, they all went back to the Spa.

"Wow! It sure was nice of Dan's dad to let us use the hot spring!" Ryan exclaimed.

"You can say that again, squirt! Just like takin' a bubble bath!" Popeye agreed.

"My bones are squeaky clean! Look!" Achmed moved his arm and it literally squeaked. Josh turned to Iris.

"So...are you aware that your Axew calls you mommy?"

"Wh-what?" Iris pulled Axew out of her hair, tearing up slightly. "Axew...is that true?"

[Yeah! Is that...wrong?] Axew asked. Iris started crying tears of joy and held Axew close to her chest. Axew wasn't sure why she reacted this way, he thought she knew. But he still snuggled up happily into his trainers chest.

"Hey, guys! This hot water is sooooo nice!" Stevie said as he joined them.

"Stevie?! What the hell are you doing here?!" Deadpool snapped.

"I wanna hang out with you guys!"

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Deadpool shouted as he shoved Stevie's head under the water. Everyone else aside from Iris and Axew joined in as Stevie struggled. Iris continued cradling Axew and crying happily, and Axew was still happily snuggled up in her chest, so they were both blissfully unaware that everyone else was trying to drown Stevie.


	6. The Battle Club and Tepig's Choice

And so, the group was walking down the path, Iris still hugging Axew and gushing over how the little dragon saw her as his mother.

"Hey, fellas! It's Striaton City! Right on the map!" Popeye exclaimed.

"Not quite, Popeye. This is Accumula Town. Striaton City is the next town over." Iris replied.

"Huh,guessmymapreadingskillsareabitrusty,beenawhilesinceIsailed..." Popeye muttered.

"But of course you wouldn't know that. You're a kid." The girl added.

"THAT is gonna get REALLY annoying." Deadpool said flatly.

"Awww, no Gym Battle yet?" Ian whined.

"See? HE'S the kid!" Popeye exclaimed.

"Then why don't you guys go to the Pokémon Battle Club? That's where I'm going right now!" Iris suggested.

"I love the Pokémon Battle Club!" Tristan exclaimed happily. "...What's the Pokémon Battle Club?"

"Of course you wouldn't know that either." Iris teased. And so they all found themselves standing outside a large building. "See? This is the Pokémon Battle Club!" She then led them to a computer. "That's the bulletin board. You enter your Pokemon's profile, as well as the type of Pokémon you want to battle against. It's an awesome way for trainers to sharpen their skills by battling as they see fit!" She explained.

"Wow. Sounds pretty neat." Josh said.

"Yeah, Shaggy and I wanna kick some ass!" Krillin added.

"I'm gonna mop the floor with EVERYBODY!" Ian grinned.

"I want a nice, clean battle. That is the way of the Higa." Ryan said.

"Well, I'm definitely wanting to give this a try." Mike said.

"I'm gonna destroy everybody! ...Figuratively, of course." Achmed said.

"Bulbapedia really needs some action." Emile agreed.

"I'm going to use my voice to empower my Pokémon!" Tristan added.

"I taught Pinkie a few moves...this'll be VERY fun." Deadpool grinned deviously.

"Well, I'll be usin' Streak. I could loan you fellas some of my Pokémon for this here tournament." Popeye offered.

"Yaaaay!" Ian cheered.

_Pokémon Best Wishes theme_

The group walked through a pair of sliding glass doors. "Perfect timing!" Iris exclaimed. "Looks like they're just about to start battling!"

"Hmm. Let's get a look at those Pokémon." Mike pulled out the Pokedex and scanned Servine and Dewott. "Hey, maybe you'll evolve into a Dewott someday, Jet!"

"Doubtful." Deadpool replied. The Servine was knocked out of the battle with one Hydro Pump and the trainer had to take it to be healed. A large man approached the group.

"We'll take care of all your battle needs! I welcome you to the Pokémon Battle Club!" The man said. "My name is Don George, and I'm the Battle Manager." I'm not writing out the introductions because I only save those for really important characters.

"Sooo...we were told ANYONE could have a battle here if they want to?" Emile asked.

"Right! That's correct!" Don George said. "Except for that Stevie guy who came earlier..."

"HE'S STILL ALIVE?!" Deadpool shouted in disbelief.

"Well, we want to prepare to take on the Striaton Gym. We need to do as much training as we can if we stand much of a chance." Josh said.

[Yeah, it's gonna be super special awesome! We're gonna beat soooo many Pokémon's BUTTS!] Pinkie added.

"Oh? A Clefairy!" Don said in surprise. He started patting Pinkie on the head. "It's quite rare to see one in the Unova region."

[Teehee! Yaaaaay! I'm special!]

"And I also see a Bulbasaur, a Venonat, a Spearow, a Shellder, a Magikarp, an Ekans, a Mankey and a Pinsir! All also very rare!"

"So is that Clefairy any of yours?" The trainer with the Dewott asked.

"She's mine!" Deadpool said proudly.

"Would you like to have a Pokémon battle with me?"

"Eh, sure. Sounds like fun. I can test out my little tricks!"

"Hm. Clefairy's a normal type. They're pretty neutral to all attacks, aside from rock and fighting. Not very strong against any though either..." Iris said.

"Just take notes and watch as I amaze you!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"BEGIN!" Don George announced.

"Pinkie, use AK47 Attack!" Deadpool commanded.

"WHAT?!" The opposing trainer shouted.

[Say hello to my little friend!] Pinkie shouted as she pulled out an AK47 and fired a barrage of bullets at the Dewott.

"D-Dodge it, Dewott!" The Dewott leapt out of the way of the path of bullets.

"Fast fella, ain't he?" Popeye observed.

"Yes, almost as fast as Bubba J while he's driving after getting out of the bar!" Achmed agreed.

"Pinkie, use Pistol!" Pinkie put away the AK47 and pulled out a pistol.

[I know what you're thinking. You think you can dodge this. Well, in all the excitement, I didn't see how fast you were. I have no idea if you're fast enough to dodge this. This gun will damage you. You gotta ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?]

"Sniff...I trained her so well." Deadpool shed a tear of pride. Pinkie fired the gun, and it hit Dewott in the head, knocking it back and sending it skidding across the floor.

"Dewott, no!" The trainer shouted. Dewott got to its feet.

"Pinkie, use Katana-Rama!" Deadpool shouted. Pinkie grinned from ear-to-ear and pulled out a katana. Then she rushed at the Dewott, preparing for a horizontal slash.

"Dodge it!" The trainer commanded. Dewott leapt over the slash. Pinkie kept going and crashed into the wall of the gym. "Now Razor Shell!" Dewott ran towards Pinkie and slashed both its shells at her downwards in an X-Formation, sending her flying back.

"Well, sh*t." Deadpool said flatly.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket was outside the building, preparing to rob it, but they set off the alarm, forcing them to retreat.

"What the f*ck is going on?" Ian asked.

"Battle Manager, sir!" Three security guards entered the room. "It's the emergency alarm! Something's in the storage room!"

"Probably that mystery Pokémon!" Another guy added.

"Right. We'll have to suspend your battle for now." Don George told Deadpool and Nameless Trainer apologetically.

"Wow! A mystery Pokémon!" Ian exclaimed. "I could totally solve that mystery with my amazingly smart brain!" There was a brief pause. Then everyone started laughing hysterically, literally rolling on the ground in hysterics. "Stop rofling! Nobody rofls in real life, you idiots!" Ian snapped. They all continued laughing. "YOU GUYS ARE DICKS!" Ian ran out of the room in tears. He found himself outside. "Stupid douchebags! I can be smart! Tristan's an idiot too! You don't see me being a dick!"

_Cutaway gag..._

"Hey, Tristan, here's the apple you wanted!" Ian said, holding out a brown, crusty apple with flies buzzing around it and maggots squirming around inside it.

"Thanks, Ian!" Tristan said happily. He took a bit of the apple and immediately spat it out. "Heeeeeeey!"

"HAHAHA! YOU ARE SUCH A BIG STUPID DUMBASS! STUUUUUUPIIIIIID! HAHAHA!" Tristan started crying and Popeye then put Ian over his knee. He was then sent to bed without supper.

_End cutaway_

"I'm not a dick!" Ian snapped. He noticed the security officers standing outside the building and approached curiously.

"Doesn't appear much was stolen." One of them said.

"Hmm...the security camera must have recorded something. Let's review it." Don George suggested.

"They're reviewing the tape, huh?" Ian turned around and screamed like a girl as Deadpool, as well as everyone else, was suddenly behind him.

"Y-yeah." Ian stuttered. And so they were all inside the building, looking over a computer screen.

[What's that?] Axew asked curiously.

"What's going on?" Emile asked.

"The food in the storage room has been stolen a lot lately." Don George replied. "And there have been unidentified Pokémon sightings too. So we found it necessary to set up the security system. To get to the bottom of all this."

"Whatever it is, I want it!" Ian said.

"Such a-"

"Iris, I swear to God, if you finish that sentence, there's a taser with your name on it." Deadpool warned. That stopped her immediately.

"Well...you can't find this thing that easily!"

"But I wanna..." Ian said sadly.

"Hey, think of it this way!" Don clapped a hand on Ian's shoulder. "It makes things more exciting!"

"Battle Manager, sir? We're ready to go." Security Guard Number One said.

"Good! Let's just see what went on." Don replied.

"Sir." Security Guard Number One nodded. "Here it is." And so, they watched the footage. "Two people?"

"Aw, geez, they seem to be following us everywhere we go!" Josh said in exasperation.

"Who are they?" Don asked.

"Team Rocket." Krillin growled. "Bunch of good-for-nothing, Pokémon robbing assholes..."

"Well...the security system got more than those guys." Don said. Everyone turned to look at him. "I'd like you to play that part of the security tape once more."

"Sir." Security Guard Number One nodded. They played the tape again.

"Hey, it's a black Pokémon!" Ryan said.

"YOU RACIST ASSHOLE!" Ian snapped.

"I think it's a shadow, Ryan." Mike interrupted.

"Dark and skinny... Just like me when I dressed in blackface that one time!" Achmed said.

"YOU RACIST SON OF A BITCH!" Ian screamed.

"A shadow Pokémon? Must've been taken by CIPHER!" Deadpool is the only one who got Emile's joke, and he chuckled.

"You're not supposed to remember them." He muttered.

"What kind of Pokémon is that?" Iris asked.

"It's Pikachu!" Tristan said immediately. Mike pulled out the Pokedex.

"Hmm... the closest resemblance I can find is Umbreon."

"Wow! That's so cool!" Iris said as she looked at the picture on the Pokedex.

"But Umbreon don't normally live in the Unova region." Don said. "If we discovered one, it would be a huge find!" And they were now all outside the building. "All right! Let's keep our eyes open and find that Umbreon!"

"Sir" All three generic security guards said as they ran off to look for it.

"Let's go help them out!" Iris suggested.

"Yeah,seemsliketheycouldusealittlehelp,ImeanUmbreonlooklikeaprettytrickyPokemon..." Popeye muttered. "All right, let's lend a hand!" Little did they know, Team Rocket was spying on them.

"Well...they sure are persistent..." Jessie muttered.

"Battle manager, I find no evidence that Umbreon was in this area." A generic security guard reported.

"Then look over there! Search every inch of this place!" Don replied.

"SIR!" The three guards all said in unison.

"The object of their search appears to be Umbreon and not us!" James said.

"Which means our opportunity's still knocking." Jessie added.

"So while they're lookin' for Umbreon, we'll stock up on supplies to our hearts content!" Meowth concluded.

"There's just one thing." Jessie said with a smirk. She opened up a suitcase. "We'll need this." She pulled out an Umbreon suit.

"Huh? What's that got to do with supplies?" Meowth asked.

"This suit is going to allow them to lure Umbreon far far away." Jessie smirked.

"Sounds like a brilliant plan!" Meowth agreed. "I think I see where you're goin' with this! But who's wearin' the suit?"

"Hey guys!" A familiar nasal voice came from offscreen. The three had to surpress loud groans as Stevie waddled up to them. "What are ya doing?"

"Keep it down, you idiot, you'll blow our cover!" Jessie whispered harshly.

"Oh. Sorry." Stevie whispered.

"Listen, Stevie. Put on this suit and everyone will love you." James pointed to the Umbreon suit.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but ya gotta be prepared to run from those guys! They're crazed fans, they'll hunt ya down to the ends of the Earth!" Meowth added.

"Okay!" Stevie said happily as he put the costume on.

"Do you really think this will work?" James asked.

"Those morons will fall for it easily." Jessie smirked.

"Nothing..." a security guard muttered. "Where could that Umbreon have gone?"

"Wow! I'll get lots of friends with this suit!" Stevie said as he walked down the street. He turned to say hi to a random woman. "Hiya!"

"Get lost, creep!" The woman snapped.

"Wow! That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! This suit's working already!" Stevie said happily. Then he stubbed his toe on the side of the Battle Club. Don looked over to see him. The moment he saw the colors, he was so blinded by adrenaline that he ran towards it.

"There it is! Umbreon!"

"Catch it! Quick!"

"Right!"

"Oh no! The fanboys!" Stevie ran away, the guys on his tail.

"Come back here!" Don shouted as they chased after Stevie.

_Back with the important people..._

"That should do it..." Iris muttered as she placed down the last bowl of Pokémon food. They had decided to create a trail into the storage room to catch the Pokémon.

"Hey Iris!" Achmed shouted. "We have set up the food which the Pokémon is going to eat. I hate this stuff by the way. It goes right through me! What do we do now?!"

"SHHH!" Josh shushed him. Iris approached the group. "I think the best thing we can do is split up so we can keep an eye on this place." She whispered. "See, Umbreon's gotta be really hungry, so it'll definitely fall for this. I'll be watching from over there. The rest of you should find a place of your own, so we cover more ground. And if any of you see Umbreon, let the rest of us know. Got it?" Everyone nodded. "Great. Let's do it." Everybody ran to their own little area.

With Josh...

Josh just stared patiently, waiting...

With Krillin...

"Shaggy, stay here and guard the door while I get more Pokémon food." Krillin requested.

[Like, no problem, man!] Shaggy saluted with an antennae.

_When Krillin got back..._

"Okay, I got the-WHAT THE F*CK?!" Krillin shouted as he heard eating noises. "Shaggy? You here?" He whispered. He looked around, but didn't see his Venonat. He looked down and saw that the food bowls were empty. "It's here." He slowly tiptoed to the corner where he knew another bowl was waiting. He rounded the corner and saw the culprit. "Aw, Shaggy!"

[Like, I couldn't help it, man! It was right there!] Shaggy sobbed.

With Ryan...

"Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Ryan whispered as he played rock, paper, scissors with a mirror. "Seriously? You got the same thing as me AGAIN?! You are awful at this game!"

"And you're stupid!"

"OH YEAH?!" Ryan delivered a roundhouse to his reflections face, knocking it unconscious. "I THOUGHT WE SETTLED THIS LAST TIME!"

With Mike...

_"And that's the story of how I got my kidney removed!" _Chester concluded. Mike was simply standing there with a grossed-out expression on his face.

_"Why'd ya tell us that, old timer?!" _Vito groaned.

_"Well, I thought it would pass the time!"_

With Achmed...

Achmed simply stood there and watched, determined. Suddenly, a Lillipup approached him. Achmed's eyes widened in worry as the small dog started sniffing him. Then he stared after it in shock after it yanked his arm out of the socket and ran off with it, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"GET BACK HERE YOU FREAKING CHIHUAHUA!" Achmed yelled. "I KEEL YOU!"

With Emile...

"I don't really care about quantum physics, Bulbapedia." Emile rolled his eyes.

[Oh, but it's such a fascinating subject! Why, here's a little problem for you to solve...] Emile groaned as the Bulbasaur wrote on a piece of paper.

With Tristan...

"99 duel monster cards on the wall, 99 duel monsters cards! Take one down, turn it around, 98 duel monster cards on the wall!"

With Deadpool...

"Well...this is boring."

**Boy, I'll say!**

"Oh hey there text box! Fancy meeting you here!"

_Yes, quite._

[I wish I had a text box...] Pinkie sighed.

With Popeye...

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_I'm strong to the finich_

_Cause I eats me spinach_

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man_

_I'm one tough gazookus_

_Which hates all palookas_

_Wot ain't on the up and square_

_I biffs an' I buffs 'em_

_An' always outroughs 'em_

_But none of them gets nowhere_

_If anyone dares-es to risk me fist_

_It's boff an' it's wham, un'er'stan?_

_So keep good behavor_

_That's your one life saver _

_With Popeye the Sailor Man_

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_Popeye the Sailor Man [Toot toot]_

_I'm strong to the finich_

_Cause I eats me spinach_

_I'm Popeye the Sailor Man [TOOOT]_

With Iris...

Iris couldn't help but smile as Axew fell asleep in her lap. She stroked his head as she continued watching.

With Ian...

_Insert Who's That Pokémon here..._

Ian sighed as he waited for the Umbreon. "This is super boring!" He whined. "Why isn't it here yet?" He pouted and continued waiting. Then he saw a figure approaching the food. "Holy frig, here it comes!" He grinned eagerly as he pulled out a Pokeball. "It's all mine!" He burst out of the bushes and saw... an extremely sickly looking Tepig.

[Aaah!] The pig shouted in surprise.

"Whoa...You're no Umbreon." Ian said. "Wait...Mike told us about you. You're a Tepig! Yeah! I'm smart! You're a Unova starter Pokémon! But you're so...skinny, and dirty! Just like Anthony when I accidentally locked him out of the house and forgot about him for a month, ignoring his calls for help. Guess that's why we thought it was Umbreon." The Tepig went back to eating. But it was having trouble because there was a rope tied to his snout.

[Mmf...mmf...] The small Pokémon struggled to get it off.

"Oh what the flaming strawberry?!" Ian exclaimed as he approached Tepig. "Why's there a rope around your snout? Is that why you're so skinny? Because you can't eat?" The Tepig looked up in fear as Ian approached. "Whoa! Easy there! I'm just gonna-"

"What are you doing back here?" Iris asked as she and the others walked up to join Ian, causing the Tepig to start running away.

"OH WHAT THE FLYING TSUNAMI BAGEL, IRIS?!" Ian snapped.

"What's the problem?" The girl asked, confused.

"I figured out who the mystery Pokémon is!" Ian said proudly. "Because I'm a genius!"

"Or you just saw it." Krillin said flatly.

"Shut up, Krillin." Ian then ran after the Tepig.

"Wait up! We're important characters too ya know!" Deadpool exclaimed as they all ran after Ian, who was running after Tepig. RUNNING AFTERCEPTION! The Tepig turned a corner and came to a wall. It panicked as it turned around and saw Ian coming towards it.

"Ah-ha! I got you now! Here I come!" Ian approached Tepig. "C'mere, budd-OH JEBUS!" Ian had scooped up Tepig, and was surprised when the pig started thrashing to get out of his grasp. "Take it easy, I'm not gonna hurt ya-OH JEBUS! AGAIN!" Tepig had fired a blast of smoke in Ian's face. "Ugh...okay, that wasn't very nice. But I'm not gonna hurt ya!" Ian assured the Pokémon. "How about we get you some tasty-ass Pokémon food?" Tepig nodded. "Great. Now, hold still so I can get this rope off of your snout." Ian said gently as he sat the Tepig down on his lap. Everyone else looked on in surprise. They didn't know Ian could be so caring.

"Careful, buddy, looks pretty tight." Emile warned.

"It is tight. Very, VERY tight." Ian agreed.

"That's what he said!" Krillin said.

"Gay." Achmed replied.

Krillin Owned Count: 11

"Who the hell did this?! Whoever it was, I'll pinch their balls to the point where they fall on the ground!" Ian snarled. Soon, he managed to get the rope off of the Tepig's snout.

"Here ya go, squirt! Have yerself some supper!" Popeye placed a bowl of Pokémon food in front of the pig after Ian had finished cleaning the dirt off of him.

[Ah!] The Tepig said happily.

"Okay, buddy, you eat up!" Ian encouraged. Tepig didn't need to be told twice, and shoved his face right into the bowl and started attacking his food.

"Huh. That rope must have been around his snout for a pretty long time if he's that hungry." Krillin said.

"Haha! He was a STARVIN' little piggy!" Ian laughed. "Careful you don't eat too fast! You might choke!" Josh and Iris exchanged a smile at Ian's personality swap.

_Meanwhile..._

"No! You can't have my clothes!" Stevie shouted as the men chased him. Then he came to a wall. "Uh-oh!" He looked back and saw the men cornering him. "Oh no! How many autographs do I have to sign?!" Then he heard crying. He looked up to see the men sobbing.

"Good thing we found the first Umbreon, the very first Umbreon, ever to be discovered in the Unova region!" Don sobbed. "I'll never forget this moment!"

"Sir, this discovery will go down in history!"

"If we catch that Umbreon, we'll be written up in schoolbooks!"

"I'm begging you to go ahead and catch it, Battle Manager."

"What's an Umbreon? I'm not Umbreon!" Stevie said.

"Huh?" The men said all at once.

"What do you mean?" Don asked.

Stevie pulled the mask of the suit off. "It's me! Stevie!"

"YOU LIAR!" Don shouted in rage. "GET HIM!" All four men pounced on Stevie and started beating the crap out of him.

"Oh no! The suit's powers must be wearing off!"

_Back to the important people..._

"Hey, where's Shaggy?" Krillin looked around. Shaggy was still asleep in the storage room. Jessie and James peeked in.

"Good. There's no one here." Jessie said in relief.

"Cutting the alarm system wires helped." James agreed.

"I'll stay here and keep watch." Jessie volunteered.

"Roger!" James agreed. "Let's see..." He picked up a box. "What about these-Huh? It's empty! ...Next box. Huh? Empty again!"

"What about those?" Meowth pointed at the stack of boxes behind them.

"Let's see... Oh dear! Only Pokémon food!"

"Hey, what's this?" Meowth pointed to an upturned box.

"Let's take a look." James lifted the box and leapt back in surprise when he saw a sleeping Venonat.

"It's the bald twerps Venonat!" Meowth pointed out.

"Huh?" Jessie said as she walked into the room. "Hmm...yes, there's no doubt! This is the twerps Venonat!"

"But what in the world is it doing inside a box?" James asked.

"It doesn't matter. But catching Venonat does. Just think of how pleased the boss will be with our hard work." Jessie said.

"Hopefully the bald one doesn't find out." James said. "I still have the bruise from last time..." Little did they know, Jet had decided to wander off again, and overheard them.

[Hmph.]

_Meanwhile..._

Tepig snored as he rested his head on Ian's shoulder.

"Tepig seems back to normal after all that Pokémon food!" Mike said.

"Yaaay! He's gonna be okay!" Ian cheered. They approached the battle club.

"Huh? Hey guys!" Don waved as he ran to greet them.

"Heeeeeere's Donnie!" Tristan said.

"Ha! Nice!" Deadpool high-fived Tristan.

"Well, we thought we had found Umbreon, and so we all went chasing after it! But it was a complete hoax." Don admitted.

"Well, feast your eyes, bitches! I solved the mystery!" Ian grinned as he pointed at the Tepig.

"Hey, what's Tepig doing here?" Don asked.

"That Umbreon shadow? Not really an Umbreon shadow at all. It was this little piggy, trying to get some food from the market! It wanted the roast beef, but because of the rope around its snout, it unfortunately had none. It got skinny because it couldn't eat." Deadpool replied. Then he looked up at this very paragraph you are reading right now. Then he looked at me. "...What the f*ck did you just make me say?"

"Anyway, that's why I thought it was Umbreon back when we saw it in the video." Mike added.

"Well, whattya know!" Don said. Then he gasped. "Say, I remember this Tepig now!"

"You've seen the little guy before?" Krillin asked.

"Yes. A trainer who once visited our Battle Club simply abandoned Tepig!"

_Flashback..._

"Tepig lost the battle, and his trainer said he had no use for a weak Pokémon. So he left it tied to a stake. I wanted to untie Tepig, but it chewed itself free and took off before I could get to it."

_End flashback..._

"Tepig must have been looking for its trainer, which would explain why it was wandering around town!"

"I might have to knock that guy out and steal his shoes if we run into him!" Josh snarled. Iris couldn't help but giggle at the pathetic threat.

"I say we break his legs and leave him in the wilderness." Krillin snarled.

"I say we hack his limbs off one by one and hang him from the ceiling of the police station as a warning to all Pokémon abusers." Ryan growled.

"I say we sign his name on that dangerous reality show we saw the other day." Mike added.

"I say we blow his stupid ass up!" Achmed growled.

"I say we have our Pokémon attack him!" Emile muttered.

"I say we break his neck!" Tristan spat.

"I say we skin him alive and light him on fire!" Deadpool smirked.

"I say I eat a can o' spinach and give 'im the ol' one-two!" Popeye growled.

"If we meet the guy, you can be sure we'll give him a piece of our mind." Iris said angrily.

"Ian, you haven't said anything yet." Josh said. "Any ideas?"

"The f*ck is wrong with that jerkass piece of sh*t?!" Ian shouted furiously. "If I ever meet him, I'm gonna pinch his nuts off, force feed him his own sack, shove nails in both his feet, throw him out a window, drop a safe on him, and then force him to listen to Stevie singing opera!" Ian shouted angrily. Everyone stared at him, impressed and slightly afraid as he panted. "And after that, if he's still alive, Tristan can break his neck. No one should be left alive after hearing Stevie sing opera."

[Huh?]

"Whoops! Sorry we woke you up, Tepig." Ian chuckled.

"Huh?" Don said. Everyone turned around and saw Team Rocket.

"It's the twerps!" They exclaimed simultaneously.

"Team Rocket!" Ian exclaimed. "Not a-freaking-gain! Just leave us alone you creepy f*cking stalkers!"

"What diabolical schemes are we thwarting this time?" Ryan said as he entered a karate-pose.

"You and your assumptions." James scowled.

"Hmph!" Jessie huffed.

"Ciao!" James said.

"Later!" Meowth added.

[Guys! They've got Shaggy!] Jet pointed to Team Rocket carrying the Venonat away.

"Jet, what did I tell you about running off?" Mike said sternly.

[Forget that! They have Shaggy!]

"WHAAAAAT?!" Krillin screamed. "DIDN'T THEY LEARN THEIR LESSON LAST TIME?!" He dashed after the trio of thieves.

Motto...

"YOU BETTER GIVE SHAGGY BACK BEFORE I KICK YOUR STUPID ASSES AGAIN!" Krillin snarled.

"Oh, but he was in a box, perfectly gift wrapped!" James said smugly.

"How could you abandon your Pokémon? We just saved your Venonat from harm! From a trainer of the lowest order."

"And that gives us owners right." James added.

"Sure, insult a bunch of guys who you know are more than capable of beating your ass to the ground. Reeeeal smart." Deadpool clapped sarcastically as he said that.

"Jet, Water Gun!" Mike exclaimed. Jet leaped into the air and released a powerful blast of water...but it only hit a force field.

"GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE!" Krillin screamed as he flew up after them.

"We're all booked up. Goodbye, twerp." James smirked. Krillin tried throwing punches at the force field, but to no avail. Even Kamehameha and Destructo Disc were only effective in amazing everyone who hadn't seen it before. Then the machine hit Krillin with a taser, shocking him to the core and sending him flying to the ground, where he was stuck headfirst.

Krillin Owned Count: 12

"Aw, geez!" Josh exclaimed.

[Hmph...hey! Let me give it a go!] Tepig exclaimed.

"Huh? You sure?" Ian asked.

[Yes!] Tepig nodded.

"SA-WEET! Use Ember!" Tepig fired some small but powerful bursts of fire from its mouth, hitting the machine Team Rocket were in and freeing Shaggy. Krillin pulled himself out of the ground and sighed sadly...only for Shaggy to land in his lap.

"Haha! Alright!" Krillin hugged his Pokémon. The group all looked up to see Team Rocket flying away.

"Why those no good, stinkin' Rockets!" Popeye scowled. "First chance I get, it's boff and it's WHAM! POW! Right in the kisser!"

[So..um...was I good?] Tepig asked as he approached Ian.

"You were FABULOUS, TEPIG!" Ian exclaimed ecstatically.

[You mean it?!] The small pig asked.

"Hellz yeah I do! Gimme five, little piggy!" Ian held his hand down, waiting for Tepig to give him a high...hoof, I guess. He only looked from the hand to Ian with a confused look on his face. "...No? Alright then." Iris approached them.

"I gotta hand it to ya, Tepig. You're a cutie!" Iris started pinching Tepig's cheeks. "You're so pudgy-wudgy!"

"Hey! Did you just call him fat?!" Ian snapped.

"Y'know, I think I'd like to catch you!" Iris said, ignoring Ian as she held up a Pokeball.

[Um...no thanks.] Tepig responded. Tepig then approached Ian and started wagging his tail.

"Aw..." Iris groaned. Everyone else laughed.

"Looks like Tepig likes Ian, which is kinda shocking." Ryan said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ian asked.

"Oh, nothing."

"I think Tepig would be able to make the best possible choice considering all it's been through." Emile added.

"Hahaha! Raise Tepig well, Ian!" Don said. Ian gasped happily. He looked down at Tepig.

"So, Tepig...wanna come with me?" Ian asked.

[Well, if it's not too much trouble, YES!] Tepig replied excitedly.

"Oh my God. It's finally happening. My first Pokémon!" Ian said happily. A single tear of joy went down his face and he tossed the Pokeball at Tepig. It hit the pig on the head and sucked him inside, then immediately clicked shut. Ian stared at the Pokeball...then squealed like a fangirl. "I CAUGHT A POKEMON! I CAUGHT A POKEMON!" Then Ian ran down the street, excitedly showing everybody in sight his first Pokémon. Tepig was rather confused by Ian's excitement.

"So now what?" Emile asked.

"Well, I thought it was obvious: gym time, palameeno!" Josh said. Iris giggled.

"You're adorable when you try to act cool."

"Uh...thanks." Josh replied with a smirk.

"So, how'd you get in a box, Shaggy?" Krillin asked.

[Like, I got tired after eating all that food, and I can't sleep in broad daylight, man!] Shaggy replied.

"Oh. Well...that explains it." Krillin scratched the back of his head and laughed.

"Hey Ian! Can I see your new Pokémon too?" Said a heavily-beaten down Stevie.

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Ian shoved Stevie into a randomly placed lake.

_Meanwhile..._

"I have your next mission." Giovanni said. "In Striaton City, you will contact headquarters immediately upon your arrival. A certain area needs investigation."

What's gonna happen next? Find out...later. I'm too tired to write right now.


	7. Triple Leaders, Team Threats

"Hey, guys, check it out! I think we've finally found Striaton City!" Mike exclaimed, pointing at a city over in the horizon.

"Haha! All right!" Krillin cheered. "Guess it's time for our first gym battle!"

"What are we standing here for then?" Ian exclaimed. "LET'S GO!" Everybody excitedly ran down to the city.

_Pokémon Best Wishes theme_

"The exciting day is here! Our heroes have arrived in Striaton City for their first Gym Battle challenge!"

"Deadpool, what up with the narration?" Josh asked.

"Meh. Why the hell not?" Deadpool shrugged.

"So, Iris, any idea what the Gym Leader is like here?" Emile asked.

"No." Iris replied. "You'll just have to find out for yourself."

"Fair enough." Emile nodded.

"Hmm...the map doesn't tell me where the gym is..." Popeye said.

"Awwwww, I can't wait much longer!" Ian whined.

"Ian, don't whine like a little girl." Iris said in annoyance.

[Yeah, Ian, don't whine like a little girl.] Everyone but Ian and Iris, who couldn't understand Axew, snickered at this. Iris smiled and handed Axew an apple. [Yaaay! Thank you, mommy!] Axew happily nibbled on the apple.

"Hey, an Axew!" A voice said offscreen.

"Who the hell said that?" Achmed asked as everyone looked around. Then a green-haired man approached and bent over to get a look at Axew.

"Hmm...soft skin as fresh as new grass, tusks like newly sprouted young chutes [that IS what he said in the Anime, right?], and a future as limitless as the bright morning sun...the perfect partner for a young lady who seems at one with nature!"

"Wow! Thanks so much!" Iris said.

[I'm perfect for mommy? Yay!] Axew said. Swee'pea babbled curiously at this newcomer from Popeye's shoulder. The man looked over curiously.

"A Shellder? Wow! This is the first time I've seen one up close!" The man picked the Shellder up and held it to eye level. "Hello there!" Swee'pea looked at the man curiously, then babbled happily.

"Well, looks like me Swee'pea likes ya, pal!" Popeye chuckled.

"I'm very glad to hear it!" The man replied. He looked over the baby clam Pokémon. "Hmm...such bright-eyed innocence...its shell an impenetrable fortress...the tongue moist and healthy... and what better trainer for a young one like this than a man who, on the outside, appears hard and cold, but on the inside, is sweet and tender?"

"Aw, shucks, quite the flatterer, ain't ya?" Popeye chuckled as the man handed Swee'pea back. Then the man approached Jet.

"And this Oshawott... it has strength...it has agility...it has a decent intelligence...it has basic knowledge of wilderness survival... all traits I can see in you, good sir!"

"Uh, thanks!" Mike said.

"And as for this Venonat... quite interesting. I've never seen one of these... its eyes shine with hunger, and I can also see that it's a rather nervous one as well. Perfect for a brave man like yourself!"

"Haha! Take that, Vegeta!" Krillin bragged.

"This Pidove...its feathers soft as the clouds...its beak sharp as the tip of my favorite bread knife...its eyes swell with happiness at having a trainer such as yourself!" Ryan squealed like a fangirl. "This Tepig... its eyes harbor... happiness, with the slightest hint of sadness. It seems well-fed... and its fire would probably cook better than an oven! You seem to be doing a good job with it!"

"Aw yeyah!" Ian bragged with a fist pump.

"Oh, my! A Bulbasaur! That's rare... hmm...its eyes harbor a vast knowledge... the bulb on its back is big and healthy, like a soufflé, fresh out of the oven! And it has an intelligent, yet humorous, trainer on the side!"

"Well, thanks!" Emile nodded.

"Wow! You, sir, have quite a rare Pokémon! Hmm...this Clefairy...it's definitely an energetic one... seems to pack a powerful spicy taste, despite its sweet appearance... quite interesting...and such an...interesting trainer fits her perfectly."

"Aw, I'm insane, go ahead and say it." Deadpool waved dismissively.

"Well, I didn't want to be rude...anyway, I'm sorry! I didn't catch your names."

"Oh! I'm Josh."

"And I'm Krillin!"

"I'm Ian! I'm gonna be king of the Pokey Manz!" Ian said with an ear-to-ear grin, much to Little Piggy [his Tepig's] confusion.

[What's a...pokey man?] Little Piggy asked.

"I'm Ryan!"

"Mike!"

"I...am Achmed. FEAR ME!" No response. "Damn."

"My name is Emile."

"I'm Tristan, and I like pudding!"

"Name's Deadpool. I like long walks on the beach, I'm almost immortal, and I've been told I have a "short attention span", but I'll tell ya right now: it ain't tr-ooh, a housefly!" Deadpool followed the housefly.

"An' I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!" Popeye tooted into his pipe twice.

"I'm Iris! Nice to meet you!"

"How do you do? My name's Cilan. A Pokémon Conneiseur."

"A Pokémon...whoobie whattie?" Achmed asked.

"Of course. What a-" Iris was interrupted by Deadpool reappearing next to her.

"Need I remind you?" The merc with a mouth held up his taser in a threatening manner.

"Don't tase her, bro!" Ian protested.

"I-I'm with Ian. I wasn't gonna say anything." Iris said nervously.

"Where are you all from?" Cilan asked.

"Most of us came from Kanto...but we don't really know where we really came from." Josh replied.

"Hmm...well, it seems you're not from around here. Pokémon Conoisseurs aren't really a known profession outside of the Unova region. I use my knowledge and experience to judge the compatibility between trainers and their Pokémon. I then help them form closer relationships. And that's the job of a Pokémon Conoisseur!"

"Oh,thatexplainsthewholeramble'boutourPokemon." Popeye muttered.

"Heh... If Stevie caught a Pokémon, he'd never be compatible with it." Ian snickered.

"Hey, uh...guys? Remember why we came here?" Josh interrupted.

"Oh yeah! DUH!" Ian slapped himself on the head. "Hey, Cilan, do you know where the Striaton Gym is? We wanna kick the Gym Leaders ass and win the badge!"

"I see. That explains it. I'll take you there. Follow me!"

"I have an idea! Let's use a transition!" Deadpool suggested.

"A...what?" Cilan asked.

"Y'know, like the old Adam West Batman cartoon! Watch." An image of Deadpool's face superimposed itself onto the screen and the camera zoomed into it, then the group found themselves standing outside the Striaton City Gym. Everybody but Deadpool was staring wide-eyed, trying to decipher what the hell just happened. Deadpool turned to the camera with a deadpan look. "You know you're a bad writer when you start reusing jokes from your other fanfics." He said flatly. Then he was written out of the story entirely because he doesn't know his place. "Okay, okay! Point taken! I'm sorry, okay?" Damn right you are.

"Well, uh...here we are." Cilan said awkwardly.

"Aw sweet! Time to destroy the gym leader!" Ian ran into the gym. "ALL RIGHT, BITCH! I'MMA KICK YOUR ASS! PREPARE TO GET COMPLETELY PWNED BY THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS IAN HECOX! YOUR GYM BADGE IS AS GOOD AS MIIIIIIIIINE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ian panted heavily as he looked around...and noticed that the interior was a restaurant, with people eating. "...Well this is awkward."

"This is the Striaton Gym?" Iris asked.

"It's full of food...this gym is mocking me!" Achmed snarled.

"Hi! Welcome!" Said a man with red hair as he appeared right next to the group.

"Welcome, friends." Said a man with blue hair as he did the same.

"Please, make yourself at home!" Cilan gently pushed them all to a table and sat them down. "Comfy?"

"So, are you all ready to order?" The red-haired man asked.

"Uh, sure. I'll have a Big Mac, with a large order of fries and a Sprite." Tristan said.

"I'll have a chimichanga." Deadpool said.

"Anything with spinach will be good." Popeye said.

"Heeeey, what about-" Ian began.

"I highly recommend the soda pop." The blue-haired man interrupted.

"But I want-"

"We have a reasonably-priced lunch menu." The red-haired man added.

"No, I wanna-" the two men interrupted by both going off on tangents about foods Ian should try.

"Who are those men?" A girl at a different table asked.

"Those are my friends!" Stevie said as he waddled over to their table.

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Ryan shouted across the room.

Ian was growing impatient. He angrily got to his feet and shouted "HOLY FRIG! I JUST WANT A FRIGGIN' GYM BATTLE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FRIGGIN' ASK?!" There was a brief silence.

"GYM BATTLE?!" All the girls in the room asked excitedly.

"Yeah. ...I'm gonna go before security shows up." Ian stood and began to make his leave.

"Just a minute." Cilan's voice sounded out. Everyone turned to see the three waiters walking to the end of the room as it got dark. "All right then, guys! We'll grant your request!" The girls [aside from Iris] all squealed.

"So you're challengers...then you will receive a welcome that is as pleasant and hot as the Noon day sun!" More squealing.

"No, I think we should be cool. Like a refreshing glass of water, chilled of course."

"I can't believe we get to see more battles today!" A girl squealed.

"It's like the best day ever!" Another one agreed.

"I can't wait to see them!" Another added.

"What are these weird people talking about?" Tristan asked.

"This is the Striaton Gym." Cilan began.

"And the three of us..."

"We're triplet brothers."

"And we're the gym leaders!"

"Wow! Three brothers, and all of them gym leaders?" Said Iris.

[Wow! Cool!] Axew said excitedly.

"Now it's showtime!" The three brothers opened up the wall behind them, revealing a rocky field. The girls in the restaurant excitedly went out in cheerleading uniforms to watch.

"Let's watch, Axew." Iris said as she leaned over the railing.

[This is gonna be fun!]

"So now is the time for you to select your battle opponent!" Said Cilan.

"We get to choose?" Josh asked.

"I wanna battle Kaiba!" Tristan blurted out.

"That's right!" Cilan answered Josh. "Me, or Chilli, or Cress!"

"So I can't battle Kaiba?"

"I'm afraid not, Tristan. But the three of us are options! If you're victorious against the one you choose, you will earn the Trio Badge!"

"Time to meet out Pokémon partners! Heat's on!" Chilli shouted as he tossed a pokeball.

[All fired up!] Chilli's Pansear said cockily.

"Here's the Pokémon I'll be using! Make a splash!" Cress tossed a Pokeball as well, releasing a Panpour.

[Oh, hey, man. Battle time already?] It said in a relaxed voice.

"It's my turn! Here we go...my partner!" Cilan tossed the Pokeball, releasing a Pansage.

[Iiiiit's battle time!]

"Hmmm...let's check the Pokedex." Mike suggested as he pulled out said object. After getting the info, he looked at his companions. "So we have Pansear, a fire type, Panpour, a water type, and Pansage, a grass type. So you guys might wanna pick one that your Pokémon could take." Popeye turned to the gym leaders.

"Hey, can you fellas give us a minute to talk about somethin'?"

"Certainly!" Cress nodded.

"Thanks!" The guys huddled together. "Okay, fellas, some'a ya don't gots no Pokémon. So I'll let ya use some of mine. Josh, you take Smasher."

"All right. Thanks, Popeye." Josh nodded as he took the Mankey and released it.

[All right, pal, lemme tell ya what I can do.] Josh listened to the pig monkey intently.

"Achmed, you're gettin' Snake." Popeye placed Snake's pokeball in Achmed's hand.

"Great!" Achmed released the snake and learned her moves.

"And Tristan, you take Smasher." Tristan happily took the Pinsir's pokeball and the Pokémon whispered his moves into Tristan's ear.

"Okay, we're ready ta go!" Popeye announced.

"So who's it gonna be, guys?" Cilan asked. "Will you battle me?"

"Or me? It would be a distinct honor." Chilli added.

"I really must confess, I wouldn't mind if you were to battle with me." Cress added.

"Okay, I'll take Cilan." Josh said.

"Me too." Krillin agreed.

"Yeah, same here!" Ian nodded.

"I have the advantage." Ryan agreed.

"Bring it, greeny!" Achmed added.

"I shall emerge victorious, Cilan!" Tristan agreed.

"I'll take ya on, squirt." Popeye added.

"All right! We have enough revives!" Cilan nodded.

"Well, I'm going for Chilli." Mike threw in.

"Very good." Chilli agreed.

"I'm gonna fight Cress." Said Emile.

"Same here! I wanna try a few things..." Deadpool grinned under his mask.

"Sounds wonderful." Cress smiled.

"Sounds like Cilan's got his hands full." Iris said from the balcony.

[I hope Pansage doesn't get too hurt.] Axew said with concern.

"Well, Mike...first it's you and me."

"Sounds good!" Mike said with a grin. And so they set the field for battle. "Ready, Jet?"

[You bet!] Jet nodded.

"Attention! For our first battle today here in Striaton Gym, it's Mike, the challenger, vs Chilli, the gym leader! Only one Pokémon each! And when either side is unable to battle, the match is over!" The girls up in the balcony were cheering for Chilli. Iris looked over the field with a smile.

"All right! I'll be turning up the heat! And showing you how to cook!"

"Aaaaand, begin!" Cilan announced.

"So, a water type. How predictable." Chilli said with a grin. "Go!"

"All right, Jet, ram him!"

[Here I come!] Jet dashed toward the Pansear at top speed and hit it right in the stomach, sending it flying back. It did a flip and landed on its feet.

"Pansear, Fire Punch, go!" Pansears fist caught fire and he delivered a powerful right hook to Jet's face, sending him flying into a rock. Jet got to his feet. "Now use Flamethrower!" Pansear shot a powerful blast of fire from his mouth.

"Jet, Water Gun!" Jet fired a powerful geyser of water out of his mouth, obliterating the fire and hitting Pansear, sending it flying back. It got to its feet shakily.

"All right, Pansear, use Dig!" Pansear dove into the ground and burrowed under it. Jet looked around anxiously...then was caught by surprise as Pansear leapt out of the ground and uppercutted him into the air, after which he landed in a crumpled heap.

"Jet!" The group, including Iris, shouted. Jet shakily got to his feet.

"Be careful, Jet! That Dig attack is really strong!" Mike warned.

"Being careful won't help! Pansear, use Dig again!" Chilli commanded. Pansear obeyed.

"Uh-oh! Uh...Jet, jump!" Jet leapt out of the way just as Pansear burst out of the ground. "Okay, now run!" Jet ran as fast as he could to avoid getting hit. Unfortunately he ran right into Pansear and was sent flying.

"All right, Pansear, use Dig one more time!"

"Um...Jet! Use Water Gun into the hole!" Jet obeyed. The hole quickly filled with water...then a geyser of water erupted out of it, with Pansage thrashing about on top. "Awesome! Now use Water Gun!" Jet fired a stream of water at Pansear, sending him flying off of the water geyser and into a wall, where it was immediately KO'ed. Jet panted slightly, then ran back to his trainer, who immediately scooped him up.

"Yeah! That was completely awesome!"

[It was! It totally was!]

"Pansear is unable to battle! Tepig wins!" Cilan announced. "Therefore, Mike has earned the Trio Badge!" Cilan approached Mike and gave him the badge.

"All right! I can't believe we did it!" Mike cheered.

"Way to go, Mike!" Josh cheered.

"Not bad!" Iris said from the balcony.

"Oh, no way! I can't believe Chilli didn't win!" One of the girls said.

"Me neither!" Another one whined. Chilli returned his Pokémon. "Excellent. Now take a nice rest." He said to it proudly. He then turned to Mike. "Your Oshawott's pretty impressive!"

"Thanks, man!" Mike said appreciatively. "My little buddy is pretty tough, isn't he? Hey, Emile! You wanna go next?"

"Yeah!" Emile called back. He stepped onto the battlefield. Cress did the same.

"Are you prepared to face me, Emile?" Cress asked.

"You betcha!" Emile said with a grin.

_Insert Who's that Pokémon here..._

_Meanwhile..._

"You will contact headquarters immediately upon your arrival... let me think...those were the bosses orders, right?" Jessie asked.

"Right. We go to the specified location and transmit at the specified time." Meowth replied. The trio ducked into an alleyway.

_Back at the battle..._

The cheerleaders had a cheer for Cress.

"Time for another battle! The battle between Emile and Cress is about to begin!" Cilan announced.

"All right, let's go, Bulbapedia!"

[Well, it seems it's finally time for me to hone my fighting abilities!] Bulbapedia said happily.

"First a water type against a fire type with Mike, and now a grass type against a water type with Emile. Seems they're actually thinking these through." Iris said.

[I like these battles! They're cool!] Said Axew.

"Aaaand begin!" Cilan announced.

"All right, Bulbapedia, use Tackle!" Emile ordered.

[Right away, sir!] Bulbapedia dashed towards Panpour at top speed.

"Panpour, Double Team, go." Cress said calmly. Panpour created multiple copies of itself, causing Bulbapedia to phase right through them. "Now use Scratch." Panpour appeared in front of Bulbapedia and scratched him, sending him flying to the ground.

"Uh-oh." Emile said worriedly.

"Bulbapedia is a grass type, sure. So there's definitely an advantage there." Cress said. "Even so, it's still no match for my Panpour! All right, Panpour, use Water Gun!" Panpour fired a blast of water from its mouth.

"Look out, Bulbapedia!" Bulbapedia leapt to the side to avoid getting caught in the spray. "Now use Razor Leaf!" Bulbapedia fired a series of leaves at Panpour.

"Panpour, aim at Bulbapedia's feet!" Panpour fired a blast of water at the Bulbasaur's feet, causing him to slide.

"Aw crap..." Emile muttered.

"I saw through that easily. Such an obvious move." Cress chastised.

[Worry not, Emile! I shall prevail!] Bulbapedia stopped himself from sliding using his vines as leverage. Emile's eyes widened and he let the slightest hint of a smirk come to his face.

"Bulbapedia...focus and start charging." He said simply.

[Ah, yes. I had almost forgotten about that. Good show, my friend!] Bulbapedia glared forward and focused.

"All right, Panpour, use Water Gun!" Bulbapedia maintained his focus while getting barraged by a powerful jet of water. "Now use Scrath a few more times!" Bulbapedia glared forward, determined, as Panpour scratched at him.

"This is looking worse by the minute..." Iris muttered. The cheerleaders continued cheering.

"All right, Panpour, finish this up with Water Gun!" Panpour fired a powerful blast of water.

"All right, Bulbapedia. Fire away!" Emile commanded. Bulbapedia nodded and fired a powerful beam of green energy from his bulb that completely obliterated the Water Gun and hit Panpour dead on, knocking it out instantly.

"Hey, if a level five Snivy can know Leaf Tornado, why not?" Deadpool shrugged.

"Panpour is unable to battle! Bulbapedia is the winner!" Cilan announced. "Emile has earned the Trio Badge!"

"Yeah! AWESOME work, Bulbapedia!" Emile cheered as he patted his Bulbasaur's head.

[Thank you, Emile. I must say, that was quite exhilarating.] The Bulbasaur replied.

"I guess I'm next!" Deadpool said proudly.

"Very well, Deadpool. Just allow me to revive Panpour and we shall battle." Cress replied. And so, they were ready to begin.

"All right, the battle between Deadpool and Cress is ready to commence! Begin!"

"Pinkie, use Metronome!" Deadpool commanded.

[EE-3 CARBINE!] Pinkie shouted as she reached into hammerspace, pulled out Boba Fett's EE-3 Carbine Rifle and fired five shots at Panpour, all of which hit due to both trainer and Pokémon being too stunned to react. Panpour was sent flying back. Cress shook his head and pointed forward.

"Um...Panpour, use Scratch!" Panpour dashed forward to scratch Pinkie.

"Pinkie, use Wrist Laser!" Deadpool commanded. Just as Panpour got within scratching distance...

[PEW!] Pinkie shouted as she hit the water monkey with a laser from her randomly acquired wrist gauntlet at point-blank range, sending it flying back.

"Now use Mini-Flamethrower!" Pinkie dashed up to Panpour and fired a small stream of fire at it from her wrist gauntlet, charring it cartoonishly.

[BURN, BABY, BURN!] She sang.

"Uh...Panpour! Water Gun!" Panpour shook the soot off of itself, leapt upward a fired a powerful blast of water.

"Pinkie, Concussion Missile!" Pinkie reached into hammerspace and pulled out a jetpack. She strapped it on and fired a missile out of it. The missile cut through the water gun and hit Panpour, momentarily stunning it. "All right, Pinkie, now use your special darts!" Pinkie pulled out a dart gun and fired two darts. The first one poisoned Panpour so that it would slowly take damage throughout the battle. The second exploded, sending Panpour flying into the wall. "Okay, now use Slave IV!" Pinkie activated her randomly acquired jetpack and flew into the air. Then Boba Fett's Slave IV flew down, rammed into Panpour, knocking it upward, and then fired a barrage of lasers at it as it fell. Panpour hit the ground, getting stuck headfirst.

"Panpour!" Cress exclaimed in worry.

"All right, Pinkie! Finish this with Mandalore Hunt!"

[Tee hee! Okay!] Pinkie fired a series of blasts at Panpour's legs with her randomly-acquired rifle, then fired a rocket at its feet, uprooting it and sending it flying. It hit the wall and fell to the ground facefirst. It shakily got to its feet...then was immediately knocked out when Pinkie hit him with a lightsaber.

"Haha! Yeah! That's how ya do it, peeps!" Deadpool grinned as he high-fived his Pokémon. Everybody was staring in disbelief, wondering what the hell they just witnessed.

"Uh...Panpour is unable to battle. Pinkie is the winner." Cilan said weakly. "Trio badge goes to Deadpool."

"Yes! Mine all mine!" Deadpool grinned from ear to ear as he accepted his badge. "I'd, uh...I'd like to thank the academy for this reward, it all means so much, I... [Sniff] I promised myself I wouldn't cry!" Cress returned his Panpour.

"G-Great work, Panpour." He stuttered. He walked off the stage. "I...think I need to lie down for a while."

"Quite understandable." Cilan uttered in confusion. "So...who's facing me first?"

"I am!" Tristan declared.

_Meanwhile..._

"The Dreamyard, sir?" James asked.

"Correct. It is what's left of a giant research facility somewhere near Striaton City. It seems they were conducting research on future energy there."

"Future energy?" Jessie asked.

"My top secret sources tell me that future energy has the power to turn our wildest dreams into reality." Giovanni replied.

"Dreams into reality? That's some energy!" Meowth said.

"So I will ask you once again... what is Team Rocket's primary objective?"

"Our mission is...to create the most powerful Pokémon army and use it to conquer the world!" James replied.

"And what then, if we can gain control of that energy?"

"We turn our dreams...into reality." Jessie replied. "Which is to say we will achieve Team Rocket's purpose, its reason for existence. "

"Good. Investigate the Dream Site and gain complete control of that energy. That is your new mission."

"Sir!" All three said.

"Count on us for a job well done!" Meowth added.

"Excellent. I'll transmit plans for your new robotic weaponry. All right, transmission out." And with that, the computer screen turned off.

"The future of Team Rocket will be determined by our new mission!" James said.

"Yes. It's now all up to us." Jessie agreed. "Success is ours at last."

"And turning the dream of world conquest into reality is our claim to fame!" Meowth concluded.

"Hey guys!" A familiar voice sounded. The group turned to scowl at a smiling Stevie.

"Stevie! What are you doin' down here?" Meowth snapped.

"Some girls threw me down the sewers after I tried to get some lunch at a restauraunt!" Stevie replied. "I'm super hungry after not getting the pizza rolls I wanted! Do you guys have any food?"

"HOW ABOUT A KNUCKLE SANDWICH?!" Jessie shouted as she planted her fist directly into Stevie's teeth and the team ran off. Stevie lay there on the ground, nursing his broken jaw.

"Hey! I'm not hungry anymore!" He said happily.

_Back with the group..._

"The first three have truly demonstrated the deep bonds of friendship between trainer and Pokémon!" Cilan said as he took the podium. "We've been very impressed so far. Let's see if you continue the pattern, Tristan!"

"Well, Crusher ain't really Tristan's Pokémon, Cilan." Popeye confessed. "He ain't got none, so I'm lettin' him borrow one'a mine so he don't feel left out. Same with Josh and Achmed."

"Well, that's very considerate of you, Popeye." Cilan responded. "I'm sure when those three really do get Pokémon, they'll be great trainers!"

"Hooray! My Blue-Eyes White Dragon is gonna be uber powerful!" Tristan said.

"Pansage...let's engage these six in a refined battle with plenty of flavored depth and taste. Sound good?"

[Yes, with a creamy center!] Pansage nodded.

"...The f*ck?" Said Deadpool.

"All right, round four! Tristan vs Cilan! And begin!" Chilli announced.

"Crusher, use Headbutt!" Tristan commanded. Crusher growled as he rammed into Pansage, knocking it back.

"Pansage, Bullet Seed!" Pansage leapt into the air and fired a barrage of seeds at the stag beetle Pokémon.

"Crusher, eat the seeds!" Crusher looked at Tristan in confusion...then turned to the seeds and opened his mouth. The moment a seed touched his mouth, his teeth crushed it. "Hooray! Now catch the monkey!" Crusher blinked...but decided to listen and ran after Pansage, dodging attacks. When Pansage was about to go in for a Bite, Tristan said "Crusher, pick it up in your horn thingies!" Crusher picked Pansage up between his horns. "Now squeeze!" Crusher squeezed Pansage between his horns until Pansage fell into unconsciousness.

"Pansage is unable to battle! Crusher is the winner! Badge goes to Tristan!" Chilli announced.

"Hooray! I actually got to do something!" Tristan said happily as he accepted his badge.

"Me next!" Achmed demanded.

"Very well, Achmed." Cilan agreed as he gave Pansage a Max Revive. "Let's see how you do."

"Round five! Achmed vs Cilan! Begin!"

"Snake, use Bite!" Snake lunged forward.

"Pansage, dodge it!" Pansage leapt over the snake.

"Snake, turn around and use Bite again!" Achmed commanded. Snake did so.

"Pansage, dodge and use Bullet Seed!" Pansage did so.

"Snake, use Poison Tail!" Snake leapt over the seeds and hit Pansage with Poison Tail, knocking it down. "Now use Bite!"

"Pansage, roll out of the way!" Pansage rolled behind Snake. "Get on Snake's back!" Pansage climbed onto Snake's back and started riding her around like a horse.

"Snake, turn around and use Glare!" Snake twisted her head around and shot a vicious glare at Pansage, who shrunk back fearfully under her withering gaze. "Now use Wrap!" Snake wrapped her body around the grass monkey, constricting him. "Now bite his head!" Snake lunged and bit the monkeys head as hard as she could while still squeezing him. The monkey struggled...but eventually fell unconscious.

"Pansage is unable to battle! Snake is the winner!" Chilli announced. "Achmed has earned a badge!"

"All that terrorist training paid off! I'm tricky!" Achmed cheered as he was handed the badge.

"I'll take ya on next, Cilan!" Popeye volunteered. He turned to Streak. "Are ya ready?"

[You know it, boss!]

"Round Six! Popeye vs Cilan! Begin!"

"Streak, hit 'em with Aerial Ace!" Streak swooped down at Pansage, and scored a direct hit, sending the grass monkey flying upward. "Go for another one!"

"Pansage, use Scratch!" Just as Streak was about to connect with another Aerial Ace, he got clawed in the face by Pansage. He scowled at the monkey.

"Streak, Quick Attack!" Streak dashed through Pansage at lightning-fast speed. "Three more times!" Streak flew through Pansage three times, once from the left, once from the right, and once from above, knocking it into the ground.

"Pansage, use Bullet Seed!" The seeds all hit Streak, knocking him down. "Now use Scratch!" Pansage dashed forward, prepared to scratch the tiny bird.

"Streak, use Peck!" Streak flew back to avoid the scratch, then flew forward quickly and started rapidly pecking at Pansage's face. "Now use Wing Attack!" Streak smacked Pansage across the face with a wing, sending it spinning across the room. "Finish this with Aerial Ace!" Streak flew down and rammed into Pansage, knocking it into the wall, where it fell unconscious.

"Pansage is unable to battle! Streak is the winner! Badge goes to Popeye!"

"Well, 'sprettygood,itwasagoodfight." Popeye muttered as he claimed his badge. "Thanks, Chilli!"

"Me next!" Ryan volunteered. Cilan revived his Pansage.

"Don't worry, Pansage. I'll make it up to you somehow." He assured his Pokémon.

"Round 7! Ryan vs Cilan! Begin!"

"Breeze, Twister!" Breeze flapped her wings, and Pansage was surrounded by a small twister.

"Pansage!" Cilan called out.

"Now use Quick Attack!" Breeze flew into Pansage at top speed, knocking it out of the tornado and into a wall.

"Pansage, use Bite!" Pansage leapt toward Breeze, teeth bared. Then it sunk its teeth into her wing.

"Breeze, use Gust!" Breeze flapped her wings, blowing Pansage back down to ground level, where it fell unconscious.

"Pansage is unable to battle! Breeze is the winner! Badge goes to Ryan!" Ryan squealed like a fangirl and hugged Chilli when he gave him the badge.

"Gay!" Ian called out. Then Ryan started crying. Breeze angrily flew up to Ian and started pecking him on the head.

[That was uncalled for, you jerk!]

"Ow, ow, ow! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

[You'd better be!] Breeze snapped as she landed on Ryan's shoulder. Then she nipped gently at his ear as a form of comfort. Ryan turned to the bird and smiled through his tears, then stroked under her chin.

"So...who's next?" Cilan asked.


	8. Dreams by the Yard Full

"Very good! Let's see your skills, Krillin." Cilan nodded.

"Ready, Shaggy?"

[Aw man...]

"Round 8! Krillin vs Cilan! Begin!"

"Shaggy, use Tackle!" Shaggy dashed towards Pansage at top speed, hoping to crash into the monkey.

"Pansage, dodge it!" Pansage leapt over Shaggy's head. "Now use Bullet Seed!" Pansage fired a series of seeds at Shaggy's back.

"Shaggy, look out!" Krillin warned. Shaggy turned around, yelped, and leapt over the seeds. "Hey, buddy. If you win this, there's a nice, big Growlithe Snack waiting for you." Shaggy's antenna shot straight up at that. His gaze hardened. Then he dashed at Pansage and started assaulting him with powerful strikes from his antennae, as well as a few flip kicks until the grass monkey was unconscious.

"Pansage is unable to battle! Shaggy is the winner! Badge goes to Krillin!"

"YAHOO!" Krillin cheered before accepting the badge. "Great job Shaggy!" He handed his Pokémon the Growlithe treat.

[Like, that's the stuff!] Shaggy said happily as he munched on his reward.

"Me next! Me next!" Ian shouted excitedly.

"Very well, then, Ian!" Cilan chuckled.

"Round 9! Ian vs Cilan! Begin!"

"Little Piggy! Use Ember!"

[O-okay!] Little Piggy shot the fiery projectiles at Pansage, damaging it.

"Yaaay! Now use Tackle!" Little Piggy dashed towards Pansage and rammed into it, knocking it back.

"Pansage, use Dig!" Pansage burrowed its way under the ground. Little Piggy looked around nervously...and was hit from below as Pansage erupted from the ground. Little Piggy was sent flying upward, and landed in a heap on the ground. "Now use Scratch!" Pansage dashed at Little Piggy and delivered three scratches to his face. "Bullet Seed!" Pansage fired a barrage of seeds at the pigs head, knocking him to the ground.

"You don't gotta take that crap, Little Piggy! Use Ember!" Little Piggy shot another barrage of fire at Pansage.

"Dodge, Pansage!" Pansage leapt over the flames.

"All right, Little Piggy! Use Flame Charge!" Ian said as dramatically and over the top as he could. The Tepig's body was engulfed in a fiery aura and he dashed towards Pansage as fast as he could.

"Pansage, use Bullet Seed!" Cilan commanded. Pansage tried to hit Little Piggy with the seeds...but the small pig just ran right through them and rammed into Pansage at full force, knocking it out.

"Pansage is unable to battle! Little Piggy is the winner! Badge goes to Ian!"

"Yeah! We're unstoppable, Little Piggy! We're the bestest, most fantabulously awesome team ever!" Ian cheered as he hugged his Pokémon and accepted his badge. Cilan turned to the last remaining challenger.

"Well, I guess that just leaves you, Josh. Are you ready for battle?"

"All right." Josh shrugged.

"This is it! The final battle! Josh vs Cilan! Begin!"

"I hope Cilan wins this one!" One of the cheerleaders said.

"Yeah, the waiters haven't won a single battle against these guys!" Another one whined.

"Smasher, start by tackling it!" Josh commanded. Smasher dashed towards Pansage.

"Pansage, dodge it." Cilan said simply. Pansage leapt over the tackle.

"Turn around and use High-Jump Kick!" Josh exclaimed. Smasher turned around, leapt up to Pansage's level and planted a kick firmly into its midsection, knocking it back.

"Pansage, Bullet Seed!" Pansage turned around and fired a series of seeds.

"Smasher, shield yourself with your arms!" Smasher raised his arms, blocking all of the seeds and protecting himself from harm. "Now use Karate Chop!" Smasher dashed forward and performed a horizontal chop to Pansages head, knocking it to the side.

"Pansage, use Scratch!" Pansage dashed towards Smasher, ready to claw him.

"Smasher, grab Pansages arm!" Smasher managed to get a hold of Pansages arm just as the scratch was about to connect. "Now slam it into the ground!" Pansage was then slammed back and forth into the ground.

"Pansage, use Bullet Seed!" Smasher was forced to let Pansage go as he was hit in the face by multiple seeds. Cilan turned to Josh and smiled. "Very good, Josh! But I now sense an opportunity to show you a spectacular taste sensation! Pansage! Start charging up your Solarbeam!"

"Wow! Solarbeam!" One of the cheerleaders exclaimed.

"Cilan's gonna win this for sure!" Another one agreed.

"Solarbeam...that's a pretty powerful move." Iris said uneasily. "Even when Emile's new, unexperienced Bulbasaur was using it." She turned to Emile and Bulbapedia. "No offense."

[None taken, my dear!] Bulbapedia replied with a smile.

"Smasher, come here!" Josh commanded. Smasher went to Josh. Josh bent down and whispered something in the monkey's ear. The monkey nodded and went back to the field. It stood, glaring at Pansage.

"Oh? You're not going to go for an attack?" Cilan asked.

"Well, I thought you might be planning something if I did, so..." Josh shrugged.

"Well planned." Cilan nodded. "Pansage, give them a taste of what you've cooked up!" Pansage fired a powerful beam of light at Smasher. The area around the pig monkey was engulfed in a bright light...and when it cleared, Smasher was not there.

"S-Smasher?!" Popeye shouted in concern. Pansage and Cilan looked shocked. Then the ground underneath Pansage rumbled slightly. Smasher erupted out of the ground with an uppercut, sending Pansage flying.

"I see! You told Smasher to use Dig at the last possible second to catch us off guard!" Cilan realized. "A cunning strategy!"

"Thanks!" Josh said gratefully. "Now use High-Jump Kick, Smasher!" Smasher leapt up and kicked Pansage in the side, sending it flying into the wall, where it slid to the floor and fell unconscious.

"Pansage is unable to battle! Smasher is the winner! Josh has earned the Trio Badge!" The cheerleaders up in the rafters all cried.

"Yeah!" Josh cheered as he accepted the badge. "Gimme five, Smasher!" Smasher would have grinned if he had a mouth. He returned the high-five before returning to Popeye.

"Wow! They really did it!" Iris marvelled.

[That was cool!] Axew said happily.

"Congratulations! All of you defeated us, with no complications!" Cress congratulated.

"Ha! What do ya think about that, Iris?" Ian said smugly. "Try making fun of me now!"

"You got lucky." Iris teased.

"WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU! I WILL F*CKING BEAT YOU IN A BATTLE NEXT, BITCH!" Ian roared.

"That's...fine by me." Iris giggled.

"Now, now! Save it for later!" Cilan interrupted. "Although the combination of the two of you does kind of drop a certain bouquet!"

"Bouquet?" Mike asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It means aroma. Don't you know anything at all?" Iris said. Mike gasped.

"Dagnabbit, Missy! I'll have you know that I've seen more in just two years than you have your entire life! So I don't wanna hear no more of this insultin' mammy jammy, ya hear?" Chester shook his fist angrily.

"Oh my! Multiple Personality Disorder!" Chilli exclaimed.

"Quite an interesting case though." Cress mused.

"It adds a very unique flavor to Mike's personality." Cilan agreed. Iris rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Axew. We're out of here."

[Aw. I like them...] Axew said sadly.

"Hold on...I thought you were all travelling together." Cilan said with a raised eyebrow.

"NO WE'RE NOT!" Iris snapped. "Good job, you guys. See ya!"

"So she follows us here from all the way back near Professor Juniper's lab...then just decides to ditch us." Josh said flatly.

"What a bitch!" Ian pouted. Cilan looked at the group as they watched Iris walk away, then smiled.

_Meanwhile..._

The camera panned over what appeared to be a ruined site of some sort. Team Rocket was standing around a puddle.

"So, this is the Dream Yard." James said.

"The site where researchers were developing future energy." Jessie agreed.

"Well now it's nothin' more than a pile o' rubble." Meowth said flatly.

"Let's get down to business." Jessie said as she turned to James.

"Right." James agreed as he put down a suitcase and opened it up, then produced a machine.

"System launched. Detecting all residual energy. Then transferring data back to headquarters." Jessie said.

Meowth pressed a button and the two mirrors on the machine faced downward and a faint blue light shimmered from them as the machine started moving. The ground around them appeared to start shaking.

"It's responding already!" James exclaimed excitedly.

"And you can really feel the power growin'!" Meowth added. There appeared to be a slight explosion...then a violet energy shimmered from the site. The eye of a certain Pokémon opened up...

[Huh? Aaah!] A Pokémon said worriedly.

"Munna! What's wrong?" A woman said in concern as she picked up the Pokémon.

"Wow! That looks soooo cool!" Stevie said as he looked at the aura. "I wonder if the people working there will let me look at it!"

_And so, back with the group..._

"Yo, nurse! Wanna come take our Pokémon?" Deadpool shouted into the next room. "We'd like to continue the plot of this story!"

"Hi!" Nurse Joy exclaimed as she came out the door.

"Hellooooo nurse!" Deadpool exclaimed. "...What, you're expecting me to flirt with her? She's cute and all, but...not exactly my type."

"Hey, do you nurses all look the same?" Popeye asked. "I've seen three of ya so far!"

"Oh, you must have seen my sisters!" Nurse Joy waved a hand dismissively.

"How many Nurse Joys are there?" Josh asked.

"There's one in every city." Nurse Joy replied. "Here's a picture!" The Nurse Joy held up a picture of a whole crapload of Nurse Joys crowding around.

"...OH MY GOD! THEY'RE ROBOTS THAT ARE GOING TO ENSLAVE THE WORLD!" Tristan exclaimed.

"Oh my God...that would explain why they all look the same!" Ian realized.

"AND WE'RE GOING TO BE THEIR FIRST VICTIMS!" Tristan exclaimed.

"NOOOOOO! WE HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE!" Ian grabbed Little Piggy and the two of them sprinted out the door. Then they immediately came back in. "Hey, uh, before we run away screaming in terror, can you heal Little Piggy and the rest of our Pokémon?"

"Certainly! Are you boys going to challenge the gym?"

"Already done! They're quite strong!" A familiar voice sounded. The group turned to see Cilan standing behind them, smiling.

"Heya there, Cilan! What up, bro?" Josh said. Everybody stared at him. "...Hey Cilan."

"Hi guys! I'd like to chat with you! If you don't mind!"

_Insert Who's that Pokémon here..._

So the group found themselves sitting around a table in the center, where trainers were caring for their Pokémon.

"Our battles today were very fruitful." Cilan began. "What struck me were the amazing pairing possibilities between trainer and Pokémon."

"Aw, shucks! You're too nice, kid!" Popeye said with a grin.

"There are things I'd like to ask you for future reference!" Cilan added. "As a Pokémon Conoisseur of course."

"Okay. We can take some time out of our nonexistent schedules to answer the questions that you have for us to answer." Achmed shrugged. "What the hell? Fire away!" Cilan then held a notebook in his face.

"So how do you bring out a Pokémon's hidden zest and nature like you do? Also, Deadpool, won't you fill me in on that secret recipe of yours that allows your Clefairy to perform such unique and fresh moves? Please, guys, I'M DYING TO KNOOOOOOOOOW!" Cilan leaned right into Deadpool's face as he said this. Everybody stared awkwardly at him for a few seconds.

"Uh, well...I've trained Pinkie in the art of making physics her bitch if that helps at all." Deadpool replied, scratching the back of his head. "...Don't even know what you're asking with the other one." Then there was a ding.

"Krillin, Ian, Ryan, Mike, Emile, Deadpool and Popeye? Your Pokémon are all healed!"

"Oh good! Then we can panic!" Tristan said happily.

"Yeah!" Ian said. Then he and Tristan linked arms and skipped to the room their Pokémon were contained in. Nurse Joy rolled out a tray containing the newly-healed Pokémon.

"Yaaay, Little Piggy!" Ian said happily as he scooped up the fire type and hugged it. Little Piggy smiled and snuggled into his trainers chest. "Wanna panic with me and Tristan, buddy?" Little Piggy looked up at Ian in confusion.

[If you don't mind me asking...why?]

"Because Nurse Joy is a robot hellbent on enslaving everybody!" Tristan replied.

[But she's so nice...I see no reason to panic.] Little Piggy protested.

"Okay. You just relax and leave the panicking to me and Tristan." Ian said happily as he stroked his Tepig's back. Then he and Tristan sprinted out the door screaming, much to Cilan's confusion, as he had not yet left the table.

"Uh, guys, why did those two just run screaming like they saw something rotten to the core?" He asked as he approached.

"Eh, something about robots enslaving the world." Krillin shrugged. Then he noticed the Pokémon pushing the tray with the Pokémon on it. "Huh. What's that?" He asked as the trainers picked up their Pokémon.

"It's an Audino." Cilan replied. "Audino are the assistants of all Nurse Joys in the Unova region."

"Audino, huh?" Mike pulled out his Pokedex and read up on it. "Cool!"

"NURSE JOY, HELP, PLEASE!" Iris screamed as she ran into the room, cradling a purple-glowing Axew in her arms.

"Huh? Iris?" Mike said.

"What's the matter?" Nurse Joy asked.

"Huh. Looks like Axew's in a bit of trouble there." Deadpool acknowledged. "That's probably gonna become a recurring thing." Axew appeared to be asleep in Iris' arms, glowing violet.

"It happened when this weird pink light came from the sky!" Iris said, still worried.

"Pink light, huh? Sounds similar to Galick Gun." Krillin commented.

"Yeah, and whatever it is, there's a lot more outside!" Iris replied. Then a woman in a long labcoat and glasses ran into the room, a Pokémon by her side. She saw Axew and gasped.

"Just as I feared!" She said. "Munna, please wake up Axew! Quickly!" The Munna began absorbing the aura around the baby dragon.

"Who's that Pokémon?!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"Let me check..." Mike opened the Pokedex. Deadpool looked over his shoulder.

"Iiiiit's Munna!" The Munna finished eating the aura, then expelled a cloud from its nose.

"Eeewwww, it farted out of its nose!" Ryan groaned.

"Dude, you only said that because Ian and Tristan aren't around right now." Deadpool said flatly. Then Ian and Tristan ran into the room, wearing suits of armor and wielding a sword and a medieval flail respectively.

"Guys! We came back to save you from the evil robots!" Tristan exclaimed.

"So get out of the way so we can kick some ass!" Ian added. "Aaaaand...what the hell is that?" He pointed at the cloud, which was getting bigger. Then it grew huge and projected an image of Axew happily running through a field of flowers.

"That's the dream Axew was having." The woman explained.

[Hmm?] Axew said as he woke up. Then he looked up at Iris with a smile. [Good morning, mommy!]

"Oh thank Arceus! Axew's all right!" Iris cuddled Axew with relief.

_"Hey! I created this world!" _ Mew pouted, watching from above.

The dream in the cloud continued playing, showing Axew evolving into a Fraxure.

"Looks like your Axew wants to evolve!" Emile pointed out.

"Wait, that's something that can happen?" Josh asked.

"Huh. How did I know that?" Emile mused.

"Indeed it is, Josh." Cilan answered. "Most Pokémon evolve after enough experience, while some require specific conditions, such as a special stone, or happiness."

"Ah. Now I know." Josh said.

"And knowing is half the battle!" Deadpool added. Then he turned to the camera and saluted it.

_G.I. JOOOOOOOOOOOOE!_

[Where did that come from?] Little Piggy asked, looking around in confusion from his trainers arms.

"Rule of Funny, Little Piggy. Rule of Funny." Deadpool patted the pigs head. Meanwhile, Axew was excitedly reaching towards the dream.

[Mommy, mommy! I wanna be big and strong!]

"You wanna be a Haxorus, don't you?" Iris said, smiling lovingly down at her Pokémon. "Well, it would be hard to adjust to not having my sweet little Axew around anymore."

"Aw, the feels are strong in this one!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"Hello, everybody!" The woman introduced. "I'm Doctor Fennel. A scientist specializing in researching dreams and other mysterious powers. Which so many Pokémon possess."

_Meanwhile..._

People were staring out their windows in confusion and fear at the violet light fog surrounding their city. That was incredibly pointless. Moving on... the group was standing outside the Pokémon Center, staring at the fog.

"Oh geez." Josh said.

"This must be what made Axew fall asleep!" Iris said. Axew yelped as a particle drew near and ducked into Iris' hair for cover.

"This must have been created by Musharna's dream mist!" Doctor Fennel added.

"Musharna? What's that? Sounds like a mushroom of some kind." Said Ryan.

"No it doesn't!" Ian retorted.

"Shut up!" Ryan snapped.

"You shut up, stupid!" The two started sissy fighting.

"Musharna evolves from Munna!" Cilan explained.

"Correct." Doctor Fennel nodded. Mike looked up the information on his Pokedex. "Musharna eats dreams just as Munna does, and can then project those dreams onto its dream mist!" A police car drove up.

"AH! I DIDN'T DO IT, I SWEAR!" Achmed hid behind Popeye.

"Attention!" A female cop said as she came out of the car.

"Officer Jenny!" Cilan said.

"You must return your Pokémon to their Pokeballs immediately!" The officer said.

"Why's that?" Emile asked.

"Pokémon are falling asleep all over the city after being exposed to the pink mist! You must hurry!"

"Well, you heard the officer, fellas! It's for their protection!" Popeye exclaimed as he returned all of his Pokémon. The others reluctantly did the same.

"So will Munna be alright?" Cilan asked.

"Yes! Munna and the lights are attracted to each other." Explained Doctor Fennel. "I think the key to solving this mystery will be found in the Dream Yard."

"Dream Yard? What's that?" Krillin asked. Then Nurse Joys voice sounded over a loudspeaker.

"Citizens of Striaton City! A state of emergency has been declared! Keep your Pokémon indoors at all times! I repeat, keep your Pokémon indoors at all times!" Meanwhile, the group was getting a ride in a car.

"The Dream Yard is an abandoned site located right outside of the city." Cilan said. "Everybody was talking about a huge explosion that occurred there a few years back!"

"That's right." Professor Fennel nodded. "It's what's left of the Pokémon Energy Research Facility. A place to discover a way to utilize Musharna's dream mist. That is, turn it into a form of energy that people can benefit from. And I was one of the scientists on the project."

"Dreamsintoenergy,huh?Soundslikeaprettyinterestingwaytopoweryourtelly..." Popeye muttered.

_Flashback..._

"Once our research had been finalized, we would have created the ultimate clean energy. After all, its source would have been nothing but the dreams of people and Pokémon. But then..."

"Uh-oh. Must have been a real...NIGHTMARE!" Emile cracked up at his own pun. "Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. What happened?"

"People came and tried to gain control of this new energy. And since their ambitions were, in a sense, dreams...Musharna absorbed their greedy dreams, which became so overwhelming that Musharna could no longer process them." The scene showed a massive explosion, then panned over the ruins of the laboratory. Most of the scientists were lying on the ground in pain. Professor Fennel's legs were sticking out of a pile of rubble, kicking. The flashback paused briefly, turning grey. Deadpool appeared in front of it, glaring impatiently at the author.

"...Seriously?" He pointed at Professor Fennel's legs. "Even in the dramatic scenes, ya gotta bring THAT crap in?"

**Well, really, I now just feel obligated to do it at least once per chapter.**

"Well...for future reference, at least try to keep it out of the dramatic scenes, okay?!" Deadpool snapped.

**No promises.**

"Okay, but next time it happens, you're gettin' tased!" Deadpool pressed a button on the remote and continued the story.

"Musharna disappeared. And the research facility was destroyed."

"And the research?" Officer Jenny asked.

"...I gave up." Professor Fennel admitted sadly. "With Musharna missing, I got fed up with it all and left. Munna and I return now because Munna senses something. And with the discovery of the pink lights, Musharna must be here. Somewhere. I know it." There was a moment of silence.

"That was an awesome story!" Ian exclaimed. "Let me tell one! Okay...there's the time me and Anthony did that commercial for a machine that makes farts smell good! ...We started questioning our purposes in life afterwards."

"I would too." Iris said flatly.

"What's that?" Officer Jenny pointed to a glowing violet aura off in the distance.

_Meanwhile..._

"This is incredible!" Jessie said.

"Beyond our wildest dreams!" James agreed.

"Success. We've done it."

"Hey guys!"

"GOD DAMN IT, STEVIE!" Jessie screeched as she punched Stevie in the face, knocking him unconscious. Then they all turned to see a police car pulling up.

"The police?!" They all said at once. The group ran out.

"All right, what are you three doing here?!" Officer Jenny demanded. "And why is that man unconscious?"

"We're searching for any residual traces of dreams." James replied. "And don't worry. That's just Stevie."

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Ian said as he picked Stevie up and threw him into the road, where he was repeatedly hit by random cars.

"I think that machine is elevating the energy levels left here!" Doctor Fennel exclaimed.

"Very good." Jessie said with a smirk.

"Just exactly who are you, anyway?" Officer Jenny asked. The trio responded with their motto.

"GOD F*CKING DAMN IT!" Ryan snapped.

"Team Rocket? What's a Kanto-based organization doing in Unova?" Officer Jenny asked.

"Setting in motion our takeover of Unova, of course." Jessie replied.

"OF COURSE!" Deadpool shouted, having suddenly gained a movie M. Bison outfit. Everybody looked at him awkwardly. "No, no! Keep going!"

"Hmm...the sleeping energy here at the Dream Yard will be fully awakened at the hands of Team Rocket." James added.

"And we won't let sleepwalkers stand in our way!" Meowth finished.

"I can't believe there are people who still want to take advantage of our dreams!" Doctor Fennel said.

"Doctor Fennel..." Cilan said. "Is it possible Musharna was trying to warn you about all of this through Munna?"

"I hadn't thought of that." Professor Fennel said thoughtfully.

[That's it! That's it!] Munna nodded.

"Munna?" Professor Fennel asked her Pokémon. Then the ground started shaking eliciting confused reactions from everyone. What appeared to be pink lightning erupted from the ground, and a pink shockwave-like thing spread.

"What's this?" Meowth exclaimed.

"Aw geez!" Josh shouted.

"Holy crap! This is nuts!" Krillin exclaimed.

"Why is it pink? That's such a girly color!" Ian exclaimed.

"I like pink." Ryan said to Ian.

"Well, duh, it's because you're gay!" Ryan glared at Ian for a couple seconds, then kicked him in the balls.

"What the heck is up with this?!" Mike exclaimed.

"Holy crap! It's like a non-lethal nuclear explosion!" Achmed exclaimed.

"This is quite a...BLAST, huh guys?" Emile chuckled nervously.

"Holy [BLEEP] on a [BLEEP] sandwich!" Tristan shouted.

"Reaction!" Deadpool shouted.

"Hmm,mightneedmespinachlaterthingscouldgetugly..." Popeye muttered. Then they all looked around in shock as a sharp cry rang out.

"That must be Musharna's cry!" Doctor Fennel exclaimed.

"Musharna?" Jessie asked.

"Musharna is the Pokémon that helped with the experiments at the laboratory." James added.

"Hey! Then that means we can gather up the remaining energy, and we can also catch the Pokémon that's the source of that energy at the same time!" Meowth concluded.

"Musharna! Where are you?!" Doctor Fennel shouted.

[Musharna!] Munna mirrored its trainer.

"Come on, Musharna! If you come, you can eat Stevies dreams!" Mike shouted.

"Whoa! We're trying to find it, not poison it!" Josh exclaimed in shock.

"Oh God! What was I thinking?!" Mike exclaimed back.

"What DOES Stevie dream about, anyway?" Iris asked, looking at Stevie's unconscious form.

_Stevie's dream..._

"You're so awesome, Stevie!" Ian said happily.

"Yeah, no one's cooler than you!" Anthony added with a grin.

"Stevie, make love to me right now!" Ian's Mom said as she pounced on top of Stevie. [Have fun washing your brains out with bleach, suckers! Hahahahaha!]

"Oh boy! My dreams sure are awesome!" Stevie said happily as he was doing...things with Ian's mom. Suddenly, a dark Pokémon appeared next to Stevie with a flare.

[Not even in your dreams, Stevie.] Darkrai snapped his fingers and Ian's Mom turned into a grizzly bear, who was now growling in Stevie's face.

"...That's even better!" Stevie did the things he was doing before harder. The bear responded by mauling him.

_End dream sequence..._

"I think we're better off not knowing." Ian said flatly.

"Guys, we're looking for Musharna, remember?" Doctor Fennel said.

"Oh! Of course! Musharna!" Cilan shouted.

"Musharna!" Iris shouted

[Musharna!] Axew shouted.

"MUSH-...what are we looking for again?" Tristan asked. Everybody facepalmed at the teens stupidity.

"MARIOOOOOOO!" Deadpool shouted. Suddenly a green pipe came from the ground.

"Hello-a Dead-apool!" Mario said cheerfully. "What do you need-a?"

"Whoops! Called for the wrong guy." Deadpool chuckled. "You seen Musharna anywhere, Mario?"

"No-a. Sorry, Dead-apool!" Mario apologized.

"Eh, no worries." Deadpool shrugged. "...Y'know, Popeye here was originally gonna be the star of your first Arcade game."

"Yep." Popeye nodded. "But they couldn't get themselves the permission to use me."

"Well...bye bye!" Mario disappeared down the pipe.

"...Why does he seem familiar?" Emile asked.

"Yay for pointless cameos!" Deadpool cheered.

"MUSHARNA! GET OUT HERE OR I KICK YOUR ASS!" Achmed shouted. Then there was a ripple in the mist. The group stared in awe as a big ball of light appeared.

"It's Musharna!" Doctor Fennel said, tearing up slightly. The ball expanded, then spread outward to reveal Musharna. "Musharna!" Doctor Fennel ran to the Pokémon...but stopped moving as a laser barely missed her feet.

"Doctor Fennel!" Popeye shouted as he ran to help.

"Musharna!" Doctor Fennel called desperately as another laser fired. This one sailed over their heads and hit Krillin, sending him flying into a wall hard enough to leave an imprint of his body. Krillin groaned as he peeled off and fell to the ground facefirst.

Krillin Owned Count: 13

"We're taking possession of Musharna." James said with a smirk. The machine that was firing the lasers fired a green one at Musharna, trapping it in an energy cage.

"No, Musharna!" Doctor Fennel gasped. "Stop, please!"

"Musharna's now a proud member of Team Rocket!" Jessie said smugly.

"A lifetime member!" James added.

"Grrr...I've had all I can stands with you three cuz I can't stands NO MORE!" Popeye snapped. "You palookas are long overdue for that biffin' an' buffin'! Well now you're finally gettin' it!" Popeye reached into his pocket and pulled out a can of spinach.

"Spinach? While it is indeed very healthy, and should be incorporated into your diet whenever possible, I fail to see how it would help in this situation." Cilan said with a raised brow.

"Oh, just you wait! Sh*t's about to hit the fan!" Deadpool exclaimed excitedly, munching on popcorn.

"I'm curious now..." Iris muttered as she leaned in to the action. Popeye gave the can a good squeeze and the spinach flew into his gaping maw. His muscles inflated cartoonishly, and he glared at Team Rocket. "All right, ya no good, stinkin' crooks! Time to give ya the ol' one-two!" Popeye began storming over to the machine. Team Rocket smirked as the machine fired a laser at the legendary sailor...then their smirks turned to confused frowns as Popeye casually swatted it away.

"Aw, quit it ya little whelps! Take your beatin' like adults!" Popeye taunted. The trio tried firing another laser. Popeye literally grabbed it out of the air as if it were a solid projectile and tossed it back at the Rockets, forcing them to duck.

"This oughta hold him!" Meowth said with a smirk as he activated one of the green lasers, imprisoning Popeye inside an energy cave.

"Hmph! I ain't no jailbird!" Popeye snapped. He grabbed the bars and bent them easily. Team Rocket was getting nervous now.

"Woobat! Go!" Jessie sent out her Pokémon.

[Perhaps this time I can enjoy my tasty morsel.] Woobat licked her lips hungrily.

"Ain't happenin', furball!" Popeye snarled.

"Woobat, use Air Cutter!" Woobat fired a projectile at the Sailor Man. Popeye responded by clapping his hands around it, effortlessly dissipating it. "Grr...use Gust!" Woobat flapped its wings, attempting to blow Popeye away with a powerful gust of wind. Popeye took a deep breath and exhaled as hard as he could. The force of Popeye's breath was more powerful than a hurricane, sending Woobat flying into the side of a cliff, knocking it unconscious. By this time, Popeye had approached the trio of thieves.

"Here's one I owe ya, pal!" Popeye shouted as he punched James in the gut, sending him flying into the Cliffside. James fell to the ground, clutching at his gut and trying to regain his breath. Popeye then grabbed Jessies hair. "Normally I wouldn't hit a girl, but in your case, I'm willin' to make an exception! Now lessee if I can break me record!" Popeye punched Jessie in the back, sending her flying. But because he still had her hair, her body came flying back to him, allowing him to repeat the process, over and over, until he finally got bored of it and let go of Jessies hair after connecting a fifteenth punch, sending her flying into the Cliffside and causing her to land next to James. The Popeye turned to an extremely terrified Meowth. "Here kitty, kitty!"

"Ah! I gotta get outta here!" Meowth tried to run, but Popeye had grabbed his tail.

"Now there's a bad little kitty!" Popeye wagged a finger in disapproval. "This oughta teach ya some manners!" Popeye molded the cat into a ball and started juggling him. Then he started dribbling him like a basketball. "Hey Deadpool, think fast!"

"Aw yeah, I'm wide open!" Deadpool exclaimed. Popeye held the catball to his chest and tossed it at Deadpoolm the force of the throw causing the cat to reach terminal velocity... without killing him. And Deadpool still managed to catch it. "I'm goin' for a slam dunk here!" Deadpool ran to the Cliffside the other rockets had crashed into, where there was a rock formation shaped like a basketball hoop. Deadpool leapt up to it and slammed Meowth into the hole, causing him to hit the ground and restore his original body shape before rolling slightly. Woobat shakily flew up.

"Woobat, we're retreating! Use Gust!" Jessie commanded. Woobat immediately complied. The group looked and saw that Team Rocket had disappeared.

"Well whattya know! They diskappeared!" Popeye said. He let out a sigh. "Boy that felt good!" Popeye turned to his friends, who were all staring at him in shock and awe. "And that, kids, is why you should always eat your spinach!"

[Mommy, I want some spinach!] Axew exclaimed. Josh translated.

"Trust me, once you tried it, you wouldn't want it anymore." Iris giggled. Popeye chuckled at the interaction, and approached the machine that was holding Musharna and flicked it with his index finger, immediately bending it out of shape. The energy cage dissipated, freeing Musharna.

"MUSHARNA!" Doctor Fennel shouted happily as she ran up to her Pokémon and hugged it.

"Heh. It always warms me heart to see a long-'waited remeetin'." Popeye chuckled.

"Oh Musharna. I'm so sorry I didn't feel your presence for such a long time!"

[Sniff...it's okay.]

"Sniff...from now on, we'll never be apart!"

[Good!] Doctor Fennel turned to the group.

"I can't thank you enough, Popeye!" She said.

"Heeeey, what about us?" Ian whined.

"Popeye did all the work." Mike pointed out.

"Well...we were here watching him do all the work!" Doctor Fennel giggled.

"Thank you for watching, Ian."

"You're welcome!" Ian said proudly.

"What a beautiful reunion to behold!" Cilan exclaimed. "Doctor Fennel and Musharna's twin hearts really united once again! Such exquisite harmony!"

"And it's nice too!" Ryan agreed.

"...That's what I meant, Ryan." Cilan replied.

"Sorry." Officer Jenny approached.

"Well, I would say this case is closed!"

_Meanwhile..._

"You have completed your mission as planned. All the data you have collected will be transferred back to headquarters."

"Sir, what about the energy analysis?" Jessie asked.

"Special forces are already working on it. Be in standby until given your next mission."

"Before you sign out, sir...do you remember that sailor we told you about?" James asked.

"Yes, what about him?" The trio recalled the story to their boss.

"Hmm...he could prove troublesome...unfortunately I can't think of any good ways to defeat him if he's as powerful as you say. Just try your best to work around him. I shall not blame you for failure if he's the one who stops you."

"Sir!" All three rockets exclaimed as Giovanni signed out.

_Back with the group..._

"You're going on a journey?" Chilli asked.

"You're serious?" Cress asked.

"I'm as serious as can be!" Cilan nodded. "After battling Josh, Krillin, Ian, Ryan, Achmed and Popeye, our talks convinced me that I just couldn't resist the urge anymore! It's so clear! There's more to the pairing of Pokémon and trainer than I originally thought! Much more! I know this will help me become an even better Pokémon Connoisseur!"

"In that case, we won't stop you!" Chilli said with a smile.

"We want you to be the best Pokémon Connoisseur!" Cress agreed.

"Thank you both!" Cilan said as he hugged his brothers.

"You just leave the gym to us!" Chilli said.

"Yes, and best wishes on your journey, Cilan!" Cress agreed. And so the group was now walking through the city.

"So where're you going now, Cilan?" Krillin asked.

"Wherever you guys are headed!" Cilan replied. "I want to go on your journey with you! Plus, remember, you haven't answered all my questions yet!"

"Well, we'll answer your questions, but you need to ask them in a way that...makes sense." Ryan said. Cilan chuckled.

"If we travel together, I know that our journey will be full of flavor!"

"Glad to have ya on board, Cilan!" Josh said. Everybody else said their agreements. Cilan smiled. "Let's see where the next gym will be." He pulled out a GPS. "Looks like...Nacrene City!"

"The Nacrene Gym! Breeze and I are gonna win for sure!" Ryan said happily.

"Not as good as me and Little Piggy!" Ian smirked.

"Yeah. Even better!"

"Is that a challenge?" The two started arguing.

"Hey, where's Iris?" Josh asked.

"Who cares?" Ian scoffed. "She's a meanie!"

"BOO!" Ian screamed like a little girl and stumbled back as Iris popped down from a tree and was hanging upside down next to him. Ryan laughed as Ian landed facefirst in Lillipup poo.

"Toilet humor. Classy." Deadpool said flatly as Ian spat out some of the brown substance that got in his mouth.

"You scared Ian!" Tristan chuckled.

"I wasn't scared!" Ian snapped. "I was singing! I was singing my scream song." And then he screamed three more times.

"You're a total wuss, man." Emile said flatly.

"Why don't you come along with us, Iris?" Cilan asked. "It seems to me the way we compliment each other as a working team makes for a great recipe!"

"Sounds good to me!" Josh said, turning to smile at Iris.

"Oh, so now you're mister decision maker?" Iris teased.

"Eh." Josh shrugged.

"So, Iris, do you have any long-term goals you're working towards?" Cilan asked.

"Yes." Iris replied.

"Cool! What is it?" Mike asked.

"Iiiiiiit's..." Everybody leaned in to learn what Iris wanted to do. "a secret!"

[Mommy has a secret! Mommy has a secret!] Axew teased as Iris ran away laughing. The group all exchanged glances amongst themselves before smiling and running after Iris.

**A/N: Okay, Popeye on spinach scenes are INSANELY fun to write. I may have to make spinach-fuelled Popeye take on a few legendaries... So, Josh gets his first Pokémon next chapter. Cool, right?**


	9. Snivy Plays Hard to Catch

So...the group was walking. Exciting, huh? Then their stomachs began to grumble.

"I'm staaaaaarviiiiiiing!" Ian whined. "I need fooooood!"

[Ian, mommy told you to stop crying like a little girl.] Axew said firmly. All the members of the group that could understand Axew, Pokémon included, started laughing hysterically.

"What did he say?" Iris asked with an amused smirk.

"Haha! He told Ian to stop crying like a little girl in the most serious, stern tone!" Josh laughed. Iris giggled and cuddled her Pokémon.

"You're just a little cutie, aren't you?"

[I'm not cute! I'm tough!] Axew protested indignantly.

[Like, there's no reason ya can't be both!] Shaggy said.

[Both? Yaaaaaaaay!]

"I still can't believe you guys can understand Pokémon!" Cilan exclaimed. "Such a unique, fresh ability!"

"I have to say though, I do agree with Ian." Mike said. "I AM kinda hungry."

"So, why don't we stop here for lunch?" Iris suggested.

"Yeah! And we can answer some Twitter questions!" Ian agreed.

"...Twitter?" Iris asked.

"Yeah! It's a website! People ask us questions on our accounts and we answer them!"

"Through a screen. While eating lunch." Iris said flatly.

"IT MADE SENSE WHEN ME AND ANTHONY DID IT, OKAY?!" Ian snapped.

"Okaaaay...well, wait here. I'll get things ready." Iris leapt off into the bushes. And so the group was talking around a stump.

"So...you guys read any good books lately?" Cilan asked.

"I don't read." Emile shrugged. Cilan looked scandalized.

"WHAT?! You don't take the time to sink your teeth into a good book?! You don't enjoy the tang of action? The sweetness of romance? The unidentifiable flavor of mystery?!"

"...Not really." Emile replied.

"Hmm...I may have to introduce you to a few of my favorite book series, Emile."

"Hey, do you have Harry Potter here?" Tristan asked.

"Hmm? I don't believe I've heard of that..." Cilan replied, confused.

"How about the Hunger Games?"

"No..."

"...Twilight?"

"I don't know what that is...but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth for some reason."

"Well,that'ssomethin'thisworldhasovermine,thatseriesisawful." Popeye muttered.

"All right, guys!" Iris called. "We're all set!" She approached with a basket of fruit. "Fresh as fresh can be!"

"Ooooh, so it's funky fresh." Ryan clarified. "Gotcha." Iris looked at him weirdly.

"Way to force in humor, author." Deadpool said flatly.

"Anyway, dig in!" Iris concluded.

"I hate fruit. It goes right through me." Achmed said.

"That's fine! More for us!" Ian exclaimed as he helped himself

"Have as much as you want! There's plenty!" Iris said.

"Even though it is just a bunch of fruit!" Cilan added.

"All right, lunch! Get in mah belly!" Josh exclaimed as he took a bite out of an orange. He looked to see everyone looking at him weirdly. "...What?"

"Hey, guys!" Cilan exclaimed. Everyone turned to him. Cut to Cilan cooking something over a pan.

"Smells good over there, Cilan! Better than my own homecooked chimichangas!" Deadpool exclaimed. "'Course those ended up giving Logan indigestion, so I guess that's not a very good comparison..." Then Cilan approached the table, a platter of food in hand.

"Sorry for the wait!" He exclaimed, setting it down. "Here! I pureed the fruits and made fruit muffins and cakes!"

"Ooh, fancy!" Josh said as he took one. Then he took a bite. "Wow, that's unbelievable!" Ian looked over at Josh, then reached for one himself.

"Hmm. Must taste pretty good if-" as soon as Ian took a bite, his eyes widened. The camera zoomed into his eyes and showed Ian in what looked like a music video, with him and all of his friends dancing with the cakes and muffins, who had faces, top hats and monicles. Then it zoomed back into real life.

"Um...Ian?" Cilan asked in concern. "Did I make them wrong?" Tears formed in Ians eyes...then the world around them randomly turned into a flashing green light as Ian shouted:

"THIS IS AMAAAAAZIIIIIIIING!"

"Why, thank you very much!" Cilan chuckled. Everybody else dug in. Krillins, unfortunately, was too hard, so he chipped a tooth.

Krillin Owned Count: 14

Cilan looked at Krillins chipped tooth in horror.

"No...how could this have happened?!"

"Huh?" Krillin looked confused, then scared as Cilan got right in his face.

"I HAVE FAILED! THIS LUNCH IS A DISASTER! I'M SO SORRY, KRILLIN! PLEASE, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" Cilan shouted as he shook Krillins shoulders.

"O-o-oka-a-ay, ju-u-st sto-o-op sha-a-a-king me-e-e-e!" Krillin exclaimed.

"Mmm! If I can eat delicious food like this every single day, maybe travelling with you guys won't be so bad!" Iris said.

"This stuff goes right through me!" Achmed complained after he had tried to eat one of the muffins, only for it to go through him and land on the ground he was sitting on. Cilan calmed down and went right back to his chipper self.

"Well, if any of you are still hungry, you're more than welcome to have seconds!" He offered.

"Sounds good to me!" Emile said. He went over to claim another treat.

"Save some for the rest of us!" Mike shouted after him as everyone but Deadpool and Tristan left the table to get more. Deadpool turned to Tristan.

"Haha! We're gonna eat all of them before you even get there!" Deadpool ran to the table where the treats were being held.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tristan shouted before running to the table.

"Heeeeeey, there's no seconds here!" Ian whined.

"YOU GUYS ACTUALLY DID IT! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" Tristan sobbed as he ran to the nearest tree and began sobbing hysterically.

"Hmmm...that doesn't make sense. There was plenty of food over here a second ago!" Cilan exclaimed, looking over the table.

"That's so weird! What could have happened to it?" Iris said.

[Yeah, that food was yummy!] Axew said as he popped out of Iris' hair. Then the grass started rustling.

"Hey, guys! There's something moving in the grass over there!" Josh pointed out. Everyone turned to see something moving through the grass.

_Insert Best Wishes theme here_

Josh lead the pack as he crawled toward the source of the rustling. He looked over into the clearing and saw a familiar Pokémon eating one of Cilans muffins.

[My compliments to the chef.] The Snivy muttered to itself with a feminine voice, a smirk on its face.

"Guys, look! A Snivy!" Josh whispered excitedly, pointing to the Pokémon as the group caught up.

"Yeah. It stole Cilans food!" Tristan pouted.

"Since Josh saw it first, seems only fair that he gets to catch it!" Popeye offered.

"Really? You mean it?" Josh was practically squealing. Everyone else shrugged and nodded.

"Here! Little Piggy's a fire type! That'll be useful!" Ian offered as he held out Little Piggy.

[Uh, I'll give it my best shot!] The little pig replied.

"Thanks, Ian." Josh nodded. "Hmmm...I think I'll distract her first." Josh tossed a Pokeball at the Snivy.

[Hmm? Agh!] The Snivy grunted as the pokeball hit her on the head and sucked her in.

"Josh, what are you doing?!" Iris exclaimed. "You have to weaken it first!"

"I KNOOOOOW WHAT I'M DOOOOING!" Josh snapped. Then he turned to the fire pig he was borrowing. "All right, Little Piggy. Be ready to hit her with an Ember when she pops out."

[Right!] Little Piggy nodded.

"Oh, I see! Josh plans to get a surprise attack on the Snivy!" Cilan observed. "It won't see the attack coming immediately after coming out of the Pokeball."

"Wow, Josh, impressive!" Iris complimented.

"Now that's usin' the ol' noodle!" Popeye agreed. That's when the Snivy popped out of the Pokeball.

"NOW!" Josh commanded. The Snivy grunted in surprise as she was hit in the back by the Embers. She turned to Josh and smirked.

[Hmm...trying to catch me off guard? A cunning strategy. But you'll have to do better than that if you want to catch me.]

"All right, can do!" Josh exclaimed. "Little Piggy, use Quick Attack!"

[Okay, here goes!] Little Piggy dashed toward Snivy at top speed, but she leapt out of the way and caused the pig to crash into a rock.

"Hmm. Well played." Josh said.

"Josh, Snivy are really smart and speedy Pokémon. Not easy to catch." Cilan said. The Snivy finished off the muffin, then turned to Josh with a smirk.

[Is that all? I thought you were actually going to put up a fight for a second.]

"Aw, dude, you just got DISSED!" Said Achmed.

"Story of my life." Josh said, shaking his head and slumping slightly. "All right, Little Piggy, use Ember!" Little Piggy tried to fire the sparks of fire at the Snivy. The Snivy leapt into the air, winked at the Tepig, and began to spin around as hearts surrounded it. The hearts all went at Little Piggy, and his eyes turned into hearts. Little Piggy dizzily staggered about in a daze.

"Uh...what's with the little guy?" Mike asked.

"Little Piggy got hit by Snivys attract!" Iris said.

"Attract? Like a magnet?" Ian asked. Ian, you're an idiot.

"Attract is a move that causes infatuation in Pokémon of the opposite gender." Cilan explained.

"Well...geez, that's not good." Josh said nervously. "QUITE the opposite, really!" Then the Snivy whipped Little Piggy twice. She attempted to go for two more...

"HEY, FOUL! FOUL! THAT IS NOT FAIR!" Josh exclaimed as he leapt in front of Little Piggy. "HE CAN'T EVEN FIGHT BA-OHOHOHOHOW!" Josh winced as he was hit in the cheek and the top of the head by the grass snakes vines.

[Josh! Are you okay?] Little Piggy asked.

"I...could ask you the same thing." Josh replied.

[He...really cares!] Snivy said quietly to herself.

"Wow, Josh! Thanks for getting hurt for Little Piggy's sake!" Ian exclaimed as he came up to grab the Tepig. He held it up to eye level and touched his nose to its snout. "Wouldn't want MY Pokémon to get hurt."

[That's not even his Pokémon...] Snivy realized. [Hmm...maybe he's the right trainer for-HMPH!] She leapt into the air and spun, disappearing in a tornado of leaves. Josh approached the spot where the Snivy once was.

"Aw man! Looks like I missed the opportunity... And I got whipped trying to catch it! WHIPPED!" He exclaimed.

"Hmm...incredible! Snivys moves are really high-level!" Cilan exclaimed.

"Hmmm... maybe it abandoned its trainer!" Iris exclaimed.

"Or vice-versa!" Emile added.

"What makes you say that?" Krillin asked.

"Cilan said Snivy are intelligent. I've heard that if they have a really bad trainer, they'll leave them."

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if this Snivy did just that." Cilan agreed.

"Well...that Snivy could be tough to work with." Josh said. "But if we see it again, you'd better believe I'm gonna give it another shot! I'll be the best trainer ever! THE BEST TRAINER EVER, YA HEAR ME?!" Josh declared with ferocity, pointing at the group for emphasis.

"That sounds good, Josh. You really want that Snivy, don't you?" Krillin said.

"Yeah, I can probably figure out a few strategies for those moves she has." Josh shrugged. "Besides, she's so cool!"

"So are we gonna look for her?" Iris asked.

"Well, we might as well try." Josh replied. "I still need a Pokémon..."

"We can help you!" Ryan offered. "Hey Popeye, Breeze and Streak could fly around and lead us to it!"

"Wow, that's a pretty good idea, Ryan!" Popeye complimented. "Plusit'llgiveStreaksometimetostretchhiswings." He turned to his Spearow. "Well, ya heard the kid, Streak! Up ya go!"

[Right away, boss!] Streak nodded.

[We'll find her, Josh. Just sit tight.] Breeze agreed as she flew up to join Streak.

_Meanwhile..._

Team Rocket was standing under a rocky Cliffside.

"I have some important information for you." The trio gasped. "That secret organization in the Unova region has commenced operations. They may, in fact, already be aware of our plans in the area. Be on your highest alert."

"Sir! Understood, sir!" The trio all said at once.

"Transmission out." The computer shut off.

"Secret organization?" Jessie asked. "Huh. I wonder who they are."

"It appears that even headquarters has no clear information regarding such." James replied.

"Well, whatever the deal is, we'd better be extra careful!" Meowth added.

"Hey guys!"

"STEVIE, WILL YOU JUST LEAVE US ALONE?!" Jessie screeched.

"I was just passing by and I saw you talking! What're ya talkin' about?" Stevie replied.

"Ugh! F*ck off, Stevie!" Meowth yelled as the trio began walking away.

"Okay! Bye!" Stevie waved as the trio left. Then he turned to the grass and saw a certain little snake-like Pokémon. "Wow! That's sooo cool!"

[Ugh...who IS this guy?] Snivy muttered to herself.

"Hey...those other guys have been catching Pokémon! Maybe I should get one too!"

[How about no?] Snivy said flatly as she turned around and walked away.

"Where ya goin', snakey?" Stevie exclaimed as he followed it. He tripped over something. "Wow! It's one of those Pokeball thingies! I can catch it for sure now!" Stevie tossed the Pokeball at Snivy. She turned around and batted it away with Vine Whip. Then she furiously approached Stevie and started whipping him all over his body.

[NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NONONONONONONONONONO!] She screeched as she continued whipping him into unconsciousness. She panted heavily, then turned to leave. She looked back at Stevies unconscious form and sighed. She started wandering the rocky field. [That man...such a pathetic loser...] She sighed heavily and laid down. She looked up at the sky and thought back to Josh shielding Little Piggy. [Ugh...why am I thinking about him?] She muttered as she rolled over to her side. [He seems like a nice guy, but...] She then remembered a tidbit of her past trainer.

_Flashback..._

_"Come on, you stupid snake, hit it already!" The teenager snapped. Snivy rolled her eyes. This Cincinno was a mother, she knew it from when she was still a wild Pokémon. She had three children to care for, and this jerk wanted her to beat her into unconsciousness so he could...enslave her and treat her like dirt while those poor children were left alone to fend for themselves? He knew she had children too! He had seen her hugging her children goodbye before she left to get food! Well she was having no part of it! She glared at her "trainer" and shook her head in defiance. "Grr...fine! I'll just use Frillish!" She watched in horror as he sent out his Frillish. He hit the Cincinno with a water gun, then rammed into her. Snivy scowled at her trainer. She knew she couldn't just sit back and let this happen. She leapt into the battlefield and hit the Frillish with two Vine Whips. The Frillish turned to glare at her, then tried using Water Gun to get her to back off. Snivy leapt over it and hit the Pokémon with Leaf Storm, knocking it unconscious. The Cincinno turned to look at Snivy gratefully before running off. Snivy smirked in satisfaction, then looked stoically at her trainers enraged face. "WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT, YOU PIECE OF SH*T?!" He screamed. Snivy rolled her eyes. She was in for yet another screamfest from her LOVING trainer._

Snivy growled at the memory. This boy had been willing to take a mother away from her children. She always did have a soft spot for children, and to her, harming them in any was deemed unacceptable. Well, Pokémon battles was an exception...as long as the trainer was actually a good, loving trainer who would show them support, win or lose. Would that other boy be like that? Could he be her ideal trainer? She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. Little did she know, two certain birds were flying above her.

[That's the chick!] Streak exclaimed. [We'd better let our bosses know.]

[Of course.] Breeze nodded as the two went flying back to their trainers.

[Boss! We found 'er! Come on, before she leaves!] Streak exclaimed.

"You heard him, fellas! Let's get Josh that Snivy!" Josh excitedly ran ahead as the two bird Pokémon led the group to Snivy.

"THANK YOU, BREEZE AND STREAK!" Josh shouted at them. The two birds smiled and nodded. Then they flew up to a rocky mountain. Snivy woke up to see the two birds flying over her.

[What's this?] She walked to the edge of the cliff and looked down to see Josh excitedly running to the base of the cliff. Josh looked up to see Snivy staring down at him. [Well...look who came back for another loss.]

"Snivy, I demand a rematch!" Josh demanded. "I DEMAND it!"

"Josh, wait up! You need to borrow a Pokémon first!" Mike called out.

[Mike, I wanna fight!] Jet requested.

"Well, if you're sure, c'mere buddy!" Josh exclaimed.

[All right!] Jet cheered. The group started scaling the cliffs.

[You guys are awfully annoying, you know that?] Snivy said before knocking some rocks down from the Cliffside. The group looked up as the rocks came down. They all had their sights on one guy though...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!" Krillin screamed as all of the rocks hit him, sending him flying down to the bottom of the cliff. "My back..."

Krillin Owned Count: 15

"Looks like she's a bit of a sociopath!" Deadpool commented. "Awesome!" Snivy sighed and began to walk away.

"HEY! I'M NOT DONE YET!" Josh exclaimed.

[Hmm...persistent, aren't we?] Snivy said.

"All right, little Snivy! You're mine!" Josh exclaimed. "All right, Jet, hit her with a Water Gun!" Jet fired the blast of water at the grass snake. She responded by jumping back. A little bit of the water splashed onto her face. She frowned as she wiped it off.

[Well that was annoying...] By this time, the others had managed to scale the cliff. They watched Josh battling.

"Hey, why is Josh using Jet?" Iris asked.

"He wanted to battle." Mike shrugged.

"But Jet's at a disadvantage against a grass-type!" Iris retorted.

[Yeah, silly!] Axew agreed.

"Iris, I know what I'm doing, all right?" Josh replied. "I recall getting straight A's in most of my school subjects. I don't know how though..."

"Well, Josh is a smart guy." Cilan added. "I guess Jet's enthusiasm convinced him."

"But wait...Jet's a guy. And Snivy has Attract." Ryan pointed out.

"...Maybe she won't use it?" Emile said.

"I doubt that. Snivy will most definitely use it, if only as a last resort." Cilan replied.

"So Josh needs to beat her ass before she has a chance to use it." Achmed added.

"Well, that won't happen until the end of the chapter. And we've got a ways to go." Deadpool replied. Snivy used Vine Whip.

"Jet, hit the vine away with your shell!" Josh commanded. Jet obeyed. "All right, Razor Shell!" Jet prepared to hit the grass snake with his shell...but she had used Attract. Then she hit him in the face with a vine, knocking him back. Josh ran up to Jet and got down on one knee. "Thanks for trying." He said with a smile.

[No problem.] Jet replied, smiling back. Mike came up and picked up his Oshawott.

"Are you okay, Jet? Not too badly hurt, are ya?"

[I'm okay, I'm okay!] Jet replied.

"Wanna borrow Crusher, Josh?" Popeye offered.

"Thanks, Popeye!" Josh accepted the Pokeball and turned to face Snivy...but she had fled.

"Aw, not again!" Josh ran after the Pokémon and the others followed suit.

_Insert Who's That Pokémon here..._

Snivy continued running from the group following her. She was thinking to herself.

[That Oshawott didn't belong to him...and he still sincerely thanked him for helping him.] She said. She remembered what had happened whenever a Pokémon had lost a battle under her old trainers "care."

_Flashback..._

_"You heard me! Get lost!" Her WONDERFUL trainer was currently yelling at his starter Pokémon, an Oshawott. The Oshawott had been nothing but loyal to her trainer, and was desperately hugging his leg and sobbing hysterically for him to let her stay. He responded by prying her off and shoving her away with his foot. Snivy was watching this, feeling pity for the poor girl. She was a nice Oshawott, she deserved better than this creep. She fought hard and long at the Nimbasa City gym and had almost beaten Elesa's Zebstrike, an impressive feat considering the major type disadvantage. But she eventually fell, and Snivy had to come in and finish the fight. What made the situation even worse was that the Oshawott had beaten both Elesa's Emolga and Tynamo beforehand. _

_[Ungrateful bastard.] Snivy thought angrily. Her gaze softened into one of pity as the Oshawott ran away into the distance, tears in her eyes. The trainer smirked and turned to the rest of his Pokémon. _

_"Now that that weakling's out of the picture, time for some more training." Snivy scowled._

The Grass Snake shook her head and continued her escape. Josh would not live up though, and continued running.

"Y'know, normally I wouldn't be able to run this long considering I don't really run or work out. But I guess I just REALLY want that Snivy." Josh said as he ran.

[That's nice, man.] Streak replied, flying next to the teens head. [We'll get 'er.]

"Josh is so stubborn!" Iris exclaimed as the group followed behind him.

"More like determined!" Popeye replied. "He's gonna be a real good trainer, I can tell already!" Josh had chased the Snivy into a forest-like area. He looked up to see her on a tree branch.

[You just don't give up, do you?]

"Well this could prove difficult." He said flatly.

[No way, we got this!] Streak replied as he flew at the Snivy.

[Ugh...this is getting old.] Snivy began leaping from the branches. Josh followed suit. He watched as the Snivy landed on a lily pad in the middle of what appeared to be a large body of mud.

[Are you going after her, Josh?] Breeze asked.

"I don't know. I have my suspicions about that lake." Josh replied. He reached down and picked up a rock, then tossed it into the lake. The rock immediately sank. "Oh geez! That's not a lake at all! It's quicksand! QUICKSAND! SNIVY, GET OUTTA THERE! THAT LILY PAD MIGHT SINK!" Snivy gasped and leapt to the shore. He turned to look at the teen.

[He was actually worried about my safety...]

"Man, that was clo-HEY! Get away from there!" Josh shouted, pointing at a young Mincinno who had began to wander over to the quicksand curiously. The warning went unheard, as the little chinchilla decided it would be fun to play on the lily pads. "NO! THAT IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO, YOU HEAR ME?! THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!" Josh panicked. The Mincinno leaned over the side of the lily pad, hoping to see its reflection. Josh, Streak, Breeze and Snivy all gasped as it pitched into the quicksand. Josh watched in horror as the small Pokémon thrashed and cried, trying to escape as it sunk. Snivy was ready to pull it out with Vine Whip...but then she noticed someone else had tossed a vine to the small Pokémon already. It didn't notice the vine because it was still panicking. "Hey, little guy! Calm down! Hey! Chill! Relax!" Finally, Josh managed to get its attention by shouting "HEEEEEEEEEEYA!" The Mincinno looked over at Josh, teary-eyed. "Calm down. Just grab the vine, and I'll pull ya out. Okay?" The Mincinno grabbed the vine, trembling. "That's it. Here we go..." Josh tugged at the vine. The Mincinno came back to shore easily, due to being a child, and the fact that Mincinno are pretty light Pokémon in general. The Mincinno looked up at its savior with a smile and happily hugged his leg.

[Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!] It cheered.

"Haha, no problem!" Josh chuckled, bending over to pat the Mincinno on the head. The Mincinno smiled up at him, then looked down at its body and gasped.

[No! I'm filthy! Agh! I HATE being dirty! HATE it! Aw...] The Mincinno was saddened. Josh frowned. Then he sighed.

"Well, my shirts gonna be filthy, but..." Josh took off his shirt and used it as a towel of sorts, to clean off the small Chinchilla. As he was doing this, the rest of the group had caught up.

"Hey, Josh! Did you catch it? Is that what happened? Tell me! I wanna know! How'd it go? Is it yours now?" Ian asked.

"...Why the hell'd ya take your shirt off?" Deadpool asked. Iris noticed this and blushed slightly.

"Oh, uh...this little girl fell in the quicksand here." Josh gestured to the Mincinno. "I pulled her out, and she thanked me, then told me she didn't like being dirty, so I'm just cleaning her off."

"Now that's real thoughty of ya, squirt!" Popeye patted Josh on the back in approval.

"Indeed! Josh has a very sweet center, doesn't he?" Cilan agreed. Mike decided to read up on the Pokémon. Meanwhile, Snivy was watching this.

[He saved that child...it was a wild Pokémon, and he still saved her. He even sacrificed his clean shirt for it. ...No...] Snivy shook her head and walked away. Josh was preoccupied with Mincinno. Then the grass rustled and a Cincinno came out.

[My darling!] She shouted.

[Mommy!] The Mincinno exclaimed, running into her mothers waiting arms.

[Where have you been, young lady? What did I tell you about running off?]

[Sorry, mommy. I just wanted to play... that nice trainer saved me!] She pointed to Josh, who waved.

[SAVED YOU?! YOU WERE IN DANGER?! What happened?!] [Insert Story here] The Cincinno ran over to Josh's leg and hugged it gratefully, sobbing out "thank you" repeatedly.

"Uh, no problem, ma'am." Josh replied. The Cincinno stopped crying and looked up at Josh.

[You...understand Pokémon?]

"Yeah. Everyone here does, except the girl and the green-haired guy." Josh replied.

[Well, thank you so much!] The Cincinno turned to her daughter. [Would you like to say goodbye before we got get dinner, darling?]

[Yes please, mommy.] Mincinno approached Josh and hugged his leg. [Bye-bye, Mr. Josh. Thank you for saving me.] Josh chuckled, bent down and patted the little Pokemons head.

"Eh, no worries. Maybe I'll see ya again someday."

"You totally will." Deadpool said reassuringly.

[Bye!] Mincinno waved as it ran into the bushes. Josh waved back. Iris walked up beside Josh.

"You're just a big softie, aren't you?" She teased.

"Guilty as charged." Josh shrugged. Then he turned to Iris. "Hey, uh...why are you blushing?" Iris turned away, slightly embarrassed.

"Josh, you're still shirtless, dude." Mike said.

"I need to clean this shirt..." Josh said.

"Lemme take care o' that for ya!" Popeye offered. He took a deep breath and blew on the shirt, sending every ounce of mud flying off. Unfortunately it hit everybody else. They all glared in annoyance at Popeye through mud-caked faces. "Whoops...sorry 'bout that." After getting the mud off of everyone's bodies, Popeye turned to Josh. "So, ya still lookin' fer Snivy, squirt?"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot!" Josh exclaimed. He turned to the shore on the other side of the quicksand pit. "Aw geez, she's gone!" And Snivy was walking down the pathway. She turned around, almost hoping to see Josh running after her.

[WHY do I care?] She muttered to herself. She approached the lake. Another memory came back to her.

_Flashback..._

_"I...HAVE...HAD IT WITH YOU!" The trainer roared. Snivy rolled her eyes at the teenagers anger. "YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH! I TAKE YOU OUT OF THE WILD, SHOWER YOU WITH LOVE AND CARE, AND FEED YOU!" Snivy looked up at her trainer in shock. Did he just imply that he actually took CARE of his Pokémon? Snivy then started laughing hysterically at the ludicrousness of that statement. "AND YOU REPAY ME BY SHOWING ME DISRESPECT AND REFUSING TO BATTLE FOR ME?!" He scowled down at the laughing Pokémon. "STOP YOUR LAUGHING RIGHT NOW!" Snivy was taken by surprise as the trainer kicked her in the side hard enough to send her rolling a few feet. Snivy got up and looked at the boy in shock, then scowled at him. She was once again taken by surprise when the boy took out her Pokeball. He threw it to the ground and stomped on it as hard as he could. Then he glared at Snivy. "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Snivy looked up at him with wide eyes...then smiled. _

_[Gladly. But first...I believe you're deserving of a little parting gift.] She vine whipped him across the face twice, then ran away laughing at the sound of his enraged yelling. One word ran through her mind: Freedom._

Snivy sighed as she approached the water and got a drink.

[There she is!]

[Over here, fellas!]

[Hmm?] Snivy looked up to see a familiar Pidove and Spearow flying above her. Then she heard running footsteps. She turned around to see Josh.

"Yeah! You're mine this time!" Josh exclaimed. "Or my name isn't Josh Nichols!" Snivy looked at the boy, impressed. The other guy would have just given up by now, but this one was determined. He genuinely wanted her to be his Pokémon. She closed her eyes, then smiled.

[Well, be aware...I'm not going down without a fight!] Snivy exclaimed with a smirk.

"Fine by me!" Josh exclaimed. Snivy was slightly taken aback at this.

[So you can understand me. Interesting...]

"Yeah." Josh nodded. "Hey Ryan, can I borrow Breeze?"

"A smart decision!" Cilan commented. "Not only does Breeze have a type advantage, but she's also a girl, making her immune to Attract!"

"Sure, Josh!" Ryan said with a smile. "Afterwards we'll exchange a friendly handshake!"

"Ha! You WOULD wanna hold hands with him, you homosexual!" Ian laughed.

"Ian...you know I'm not a homosexual." Ryan said seriously. "I had a wife back on our world before she died. I loved her with all my heart. Every morning I woke up, it was a treat to see her by my side. Whenever I got back from a hard day at work, seeing her waiting for me at home made it all worth it in the end. When I saw her die, my heart could barely take it. I almost resorted to alcohol to make myself feel better until Sean snapped me out of it. Because when he talked to me, I knew...I knew that she was looking down on me. And she wouldn't want to see me so miserable. So that's why you need to stop calling me gay." Everybody had teared up at Ryans speech.

"Such wonderful flavor..." Cilan sobbed.

"I had no idea..." Josh said sadly.

"[Sniff] How do I have tears?" Achmed whimpered.

"WAAAAAAAAAH! THAT'S SO SAAAAAAAAAD! EVEN IF YOUR WIFE WAS JUST A LAMP YOU ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED OFF OF YOUR DESK!" Ian sobbed loudly. "I'M SO SORRY RYAN!" Ryan started crying after Ian mentioned his wifes cause of death, so the two were hugging one another for comfort. Everyone else had felt a little bit less upset after realizing that Ryans wife was a lamp, and waited for the two to stop crying.

"So, yeah, you can borrow Breeze, Josh." Ryan said casually.

"Uh...thanks. Ready, Breeze?"

[Yes I am, Josh!] Breeze nodded.

"Great! Use Gust!" Breeze flapped her wings and sent a powerful gust of wind at Snivy. Snivy leapt out of the way. Her eyes narrowed. She knew Attract would be useless on her current opponent. So she instead opted for a Vine Whip. "Swerve to the left, quickly!" Breeze quickly flew to the left, narrowly avoiding the vines. Snivy then decided to use Leaf Storm. The leaves flew towards the Pidove. "Breeze, do a barrel roll!" Josh commanded. Breeze span around quickly in midair, bouncing the leaves off of her wings. Krillin watched in fear as all of the leaves hit him instead, causing him to fall over with multiple cuts on his body.

Krillin Owned Count: 16

"Now use Gust!" Breeze flapped her wings. Snivy had no time to dodge as the wind hit her, and struggled to stand her ground.

[Grrr...not bad. Not bad at all.]

"Now use Air Cutter around Snivy!" Breeze fired the windy projectiles around the grass snake. She was nearly blown back, and her vision was obscured by a cloud of smoke.

[Ugh...he knows what he's doing...]

"Now use Quick Attack while her vision's obscured!" Breeze flew down at the smoke and rammed into Snivy at top speed, sending her flying back.

[Ugh...Good...one...]

"Okay, let's try it now!" Josh yelled as he tossed a Pokeball. The ball sucked in the grass snake...but she escaped.

[Ugh...I'm not done yet.]

"All right! Use Quick Attack, Breeze!" Breeze prepared to ram the Snivy, but she responded by hitting the bird with a Vine Whip. "Okay then, Air Cutter!" Snivy gasped at the projectiles, then grunted as they hit her full-on this time.

"Wow, Josh! You might actually do it!" Iris exclaimed.

"MAKE HER BEG FOR MERCY!" Achmed called out. Josh ignored him as the Snivy bounced across the ground. She shakily got to her feet and smiled.

[All right...Josh. Do it.] Josh's eyes widened in surprise, then he grinned as he tossed a Pokeball. Snivy smiled and closed her eyes as the Pokeball hit her and she was sucked inside. The ball hit the ground and clicked shut. Josh stared at it for a few seconds...then laughed. He ran up to the Pokeball and stared at it in awe. "I DID IT, GUYS! I CAUGHT A POKEMON! A PO-KE-MON! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIIFE!" Josh panted heavily. "So...yeah, I have a Pokémon now."

"Congratulations, Josh!" Cilan said.

"Yeah, way to go!" Iris agreed.

"Well, now we just need to get Achmed and Tristan some Pokémon and we're golden!" Mike said.

"Hey, Josh. How's about ya let her out so you can get to know her?" Popeye suggested.

"Oh, trust me: she'll barely ever be in her Pokeball. Barely EVER!" Josh said excitedly.

"Just like the rest of our Pokémon." Ian said, stroking behind Little Piggy's ears. Josh let Snivy out of her Pokeball. She looked up at him and smiled.

[So...you're my trainer now.] She said.

"Yeah I am! Gimme five, sister!" Josh exclaimed, reaching out and hoping for a high-five. Snivy looked at his hand with a raised brow. "...Okay, then HUG ME, SNIVY!" Josh scooped his Pokémon up in his arms and gleefully held her close to his chest. Snivy stiffened at this, then relaxed. She smiled up at her new trainer.

[Haha...looks like I've found an ideal trainer.]

"Yeah ya did!" Josh said. "Now...ya need a name. How about...Ivy!"

[Ivy...yes, that does fit, doesn't it?] Ivy said with a smile.

"Ivy, huh? That sounds like a pretty fitting name." Krillin said as he pulled leaves out of his skin.

"Yeah, she'll make our adventures even more fantabulous!" Ian agreed.

"She will be your guide in battle, young grasshopper." Ryan said wisely. "...Nah, just kidding!"

Mike stepped forward. "Great job, budd-OWW!" He stubbed his toe on a rock and gasped. "Dagnab these kids, leavin' rocks everywhere!" Chester gave the rock a good, hard kick...then leapt around, clutching his foot.

"Very good. Hopefully it's not like that other Snivy! That thing is an asshole!" Achmed snarled.

[Too right!] Jet agreed.

"More like a GRASSHOLE!" Emile cracked. Everyone but Ian, Tristan and Ryan groaned.

"Hmph! You guys just don't know comedy!" Tristan huffed.

"Comedy is anything BUT that!" Deadpool said flatly. He turned to the Snivy. "YOU, my friend, are gonna have quite a story ahead of ya! I should know, I got to read this beforehand!"

"Glad to see you've got yer first Pokémon, Josh!" Popeye said with a smile. "I'll bet she'll really give any trouble what for!"

[Like, she's cool with me as long as she doesn't take my Growlithe treats!]

[Indeed! She's a most welcome addition to our voyage!]

[Hey, boss! Swee'pea over there's checkin' out Ivy!] Popeye looked up, and his eyes widened slightly as his clam curiously slid up to Josh and looked at his grass snake. Ivy looked down at the small clam and smiled. She requested Josh let her down and he did so. She approached the little clam and patted him gently, much to his delight.

"Well, looks like ya have a way with kids there, Ivy!" Popeye chuckled. Ivy smiled.

[Being with Josh is going to be very interesting.]


	10. Saving Darmanitan From the Bell

"Cilaaaaaaan, is lunch ready yet?" Ian whined.

"SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!" Achmed snapped.

"The skeleton's right, ya little whippersnapper!" Mike had gotten frustrated with Ian's whiny bitchiness, releasing Chester. "In my day, we were lucky if we got to eat at all! So quit your whinin' and moanin' and just wait for your darn lunch!"

"Well, at least the author seems to have abandoned the whole "stuck" gag." Deadpool said.

**Why, does it bug you, Deadpool?**

"Liiiiittle bit."

**Good to knoooow. Heheheheheh...**

"That laugh...never a good sign..."

"Here ya go, guys!" Iris said as she handed them the plate of food. "Since tonight's a full moon, I skewered some berries and cooked up some Moonwatch Dumplings."

"I wouldn't really call that cooking." Cilan said, turning around.

[Like, it doesn't matter if it's cooked or not, man!] Shaggy exclaimed. [All food's good food!] And so he helped himself to the berries on a stick.

"You and your food, Shaggy." Krillin shook his head in amusement. "Lemme try one..." He grabbed a dumpling and took a bite. "Mmm. Not ba-OW! I BIT MY TONGUE!"

Krillin Owned Count: 17

"Now just wait a minute, you guys!" Cilan said as he took the plate of fruits away.

[Like, why'd ya do that, man?!] Shaggy exclaimed as he started crying.

"Don't worry, Shaggy!" Cilan assured, knowing how much the Venonat loved eating. "My vegetable payaya with fresh vegetables and olive oil will be ready in no time!"

"Eeew! It's gonna be full of...VEGETABLES! BLECH!" Ian complained. Popeye smacked him on the back of the head.

"Don't be rude, ya little whelp! He don't gots to cook for ya!" The sailor snapped.

"Besides, vegetables are good for you, full of necessary vitamins and minerals-"

"NEEEEEEEEEEEERD!" Some random guy shouted as he walked by.

"YA KNOW WHAT?! BITE ME!" Josh yelled back.

[I thought you valued the truth, Josh.] Ivy teased. Josh groaned and slumped down in his seat. [Don't worry, I was only kidding.]

"That does look good, Cilan." Achmed admitted. "Too bad it would go right through me."

[Does it have spinach in it? I wanna be strong like Popeye!] Axew said excitedly. Ivy smiled at Axew's innocence. No way eating a little spinach actually gave anyone a strength boost, right? Josh translated what Axew said.

"Well, Axew, you're in luck! Popeye did indeed lend me a little bit of his spinach to put in the meal!"

"Yeah,butnottoomuch,wouldn'twantanythingtobreaknowwouldwe?" Popeye muttered. "An' if ya keep eatin' it,, you'll get strong to the finich, just like me!"

[Wow! I want to eat spinach every day!] The little dragon said excitedly.

"Oh, good! The payaya's ready!" Cilan exclaimed. Then they all noticed a new Pokémon wandering around their general area.

"The hell is that?" Krillin asked.

_Insert Best Wishes theme here..._

"Hmm...let's see..." Mike said, taking out the Pokedex. "Darumaka, huh?" Iris approached the Pokémon.

"Aww, you're so cuuuute!" She said as she pulled at its eyebrows. The Darumaka responded by shooting a stream of fire in her face, charring it black. She coughed up a little bit of smoke.

"Looks like Iris just got BURNED!" Emile laughed. Guess who the ones that didn't groan were.

[Does he always do this?] Ivy groaned.

"Sadly, yes." Josh said flatly.

"I will give him this though, it can't be easy to come up with those on the spot." Deadpool added.

"Darumaka is the kind of Pokémon that stays focused and never gives up!" Cilan explained. "Many think of it as a good luck Pokémon!" The group was completely unaware that there were more intruders taking their food.

"Wow! They seem like very swell Pokémon, that would never cause us any sort of inconvenience!" Tristan said.

"Yeah, I'm sure they're an amazing species!" Ryan agreed.

"Uh, guys?" Josh said.

"Those things are SWEET!" Ian exclaimed. "They're red, one of the bestest colors EVER!"

"Guys?"

[Like, I don't hold any grudges against any Darumaka as long as they don-]

[Don't look now, but our food is gone.] Ivy said flatly. The group who understood her all turned around. Cilan and Iris noticed this and did the same. Then Cilan and Shaggy screamed at the top of their lungs as they saw the food Cilan had prepared was gone.

"WHAT?! AFTER I SPENT ALL THAT TIME MAKING IT...YOU GUYS NEVER EVEN GOT A TASTE! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?! WHY?! WHYYYYYYYYYY?!"

[NOOOOOOO! I CAN'T GO WITHOUT MY LUNCH, MAN! I GOTTA EAT! I'M GONNA STARVE TO DEATH! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!]

"Let's see if Darumaka saw anything." Josh said calmly. Cilan took a deep breath and nodded. Shaggy, on the other hand, dashed toward the Pokémon in question at top speed.

[LIKE, WHAT HAPPENED, MAN?! TELL ME WHERE THEY TOOK OUR PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL FOOD!] He shouted as he shook the Darumaka with his antennae. He got no response, and Darumaka wobbled back and forth.

"Awwww, it's sleeping like a little Pokémon baby!" Ryan gushed. Shaggy stared at the Darumaka in shock.

[LIKE, HOW COULD YOU BE SLEEPING AT A TIME LIKE THIS, MAN?! THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH! IF I DON'T GET SOMETHING IN MY BELLY SOON, I'M GONNA DIE! YA GOTTA HELP US MAN, YA JUST GOTTA!]

[So...does this mean I don't get to try spinach?] Axew asked. Popeye chuckled and pulled out a small can of spinach, then popped it open.

"Here ya go, squirt, take a nibble." He handed the little dragon the green vegetable.

[Yaaaaay!] Axew cheered as he popped it into his mouth. He chewed for about two seconds before his face somehow turned even more green than it already was and he spat it out. Iris giggled.

"Well, I guess you'll just have to stick with a balanced diet and lots of exercise." She said.

[Mommy always knows what to do!] Axew said happily. [I'll be big and strong in no time!] Popeye chuckled.

"Guess it makes sense why ya don't like spinach. Looks like most kids don't like the stuff." He said.

[STOP TALKIN' ABOUT SPINACH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE UNLESS WE GET THAT FOOD BACK!] Shaggy panicked.

[Calm down, drama queen.] Ivy said as she rolled her eyes. [Iris still made those berries on a stick.]

"Oh! Yeah! Iris, where are those berry things you made?" Josh asked.

"Oh! Those should be right on the table!" Iris replied. Shaggy's eyes widened and he dashed to the table, preparing to sink his teeth into some juicy berries. But when he got there, the table was bare!

[LIKE, WHYYYYYYYYYY?!] Shaggy buried his face into the tablecloth and started sobbing.

"Hey! That little dicknugget stole our food!" Ian exclaimed, pointing forward. Shaggy's head snapped straight up to see a Darumaka holding the food its head. Shaggy's eyes turned an extremely terrifying shade of red. He glared forward furiously, the fires of hell burning in his gaze. Krillin saw his Pokémon's reaction and panicked.

"SHAGGY, NO!" Krillin pounced onto his Pokémon and pinned him down, trying to prevent being charged with Poke-murder.

[LIKE, LET ME AT 'EM, MAN!] Shaggy snarled. [I'LL GET OUR FOOD BACK!]

"YOU'RE GONNA KILL IT!" Krillin screamed. "I'LL GO TO JAIL!"

[WELL IF YA WON'T LET ME AFTER IT, DO SOMETHING, MAN!]

"Let's chase the weird monkey thing and get the food that I cannot eat!" Achmed announced. And they began the chase...but the other Darumaka had woken up, and saw its comrade being chased. It leapt into the air and let loose with a stream of fire. Guess who was leading on the group and got caught in the blast?

Krillin Owned Count: 18

[Leave it to me!] Jet said cockily.

"Good choice, using a water type to deal with a fire type!" Cilan complimented.

"All right, Jet, Water Gun!" Mike commanded. Jet fired a stream of water from his mouth, but both Darumaka bounced off the wall and leapt to the side to avoid it.

"Hey, who do they think they are, Mario?" Ian complained. The Darumaka both fired a stream of flames at the little otter.

"Jet, get out of the way!" Mike commanded. But Jet was not fast enough. He was knocked unconscious immediately when the flames hit him. "Aaahh, Jet!" Mike ran to his Pokémon and cradled him in his arms. The group glared as the two Darumaka leapt over the wall.

"Assholes." Krillin muttered, still holding Shaggy back from murdering the Pokémon.

"Hey, Mike. Jet ain't lookin' so good. We gotta get him to the Pokémon Center." Popeye said.

"Right away!" Mike nodded as he ran ahead.

"Mike, wait! You don't even know the way!" Iris shouted as the group ran after him.

_And so..._

"Is he gonna be okay, nurse?" Mike asked worriedly.

"Oh, yes! He should be just fine!" Nurse Joy assured him.

"Thank God!" Mike sighed.

[Who's God?] Little Piggy asked.

"Never mind that, buddy." Ian replied as he patted the pig's head.

"Audino, if you please?" Nurse Joy said.

[Of course!] Audino replied before wheeling Jet into the medical room.

_Meanwhile..._

A gloved hand placed a teacup down on a plate.

"Now, shall we?" James asked.

"Yes." Jessie nodded. Then she snapped her fingers, getting their waiter's attention.

"Yes?" He said.

"A cappuccino. And make it rocket fast." Jessie said.

"ROCKET fast, you say?" The waiter replied. "Right away, ma'am. Here you go." He handed her a cappuccino. The trio looked down and smirked at the coffee containing...the letter E? [Seriously, it looked like the letter E.] Jessie began stirring.

"Hey guys!"

"WHAT THE HELL, STEVIE?!" Jessie screeched. "I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE US ALONE!"

"I was just saying hi! I'm here to have lunch! Can I sit with you guys?"

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Jessie shouted as she grabbed a cup of hot coffee from the nearest table and threw the whole cup at Stevie, shattering the glass and getting it stuck in his skin and burning him with the beverage at the same time.

"Okay." Stevie shrugged as he went to sit down at another table, disregarding the injuries he just sustained.

_Back with the group..._

"HAHA! THERE'S THAT FAMILIAR JINGLE!" Deadpool said giddily.

"Your Oshawott is completely healed and feeling fine." Nurse Joy said with a smile.

[It was no trouble at all!] Audino added.

[Hey, Mike!] Jet said. Mike scooped up his Pokémon.

"Phew...thanks for the help, Nurse Joy." He said, returning the smile. Then he smiled down at Jet. "Glad you're feeling better, buddy."

[Believe me, so am I!]

"Man, can you guys believe those Darumaka?" Josh said. "We still haven't eaten yet! NOT A BITE!"

"What? You met those two?" Nurse Joy asked.

"Yeah! They're the ones that hurt Jet!" Mike said. "You know them?"

"Yes." Nurse Joy said with a nod. She went to look out the window. "Those two Darumaka live in town, along with Darmanitan."

"Oh boy, a flashback!" Deadpool clapped his hands.

_Flashback..._

"_At first, they all couldn't have been friendlier to the townspeople. Until one day, the Darumaka started mysteriously stealing people's food."_

_End flashback..._

"The two Darumaka were always with the Darmanitan. But for some reason only the two Darumaka stole food."

"And those two stole our food as well!" Cilan said.

"And then Jet here got hurt trying to stop them!" Deadpool added. "Maybe I shoulda sent Pinkie out there..."

[Yeah, I wanna try the Zero Laser!] Pinkie said happily.

[...Do I want to know?] Ivy asked Bulbapedia.

[Well, it is a rather unique subject...I don't believe any of us have seen this particular attack before.] The Bulbasaur replied.

"So that's what happened." Nurse Joy said as the two grass-types talked.

"I'll bet you those Darumaka are really hungry!" Iris said.

"Maybe, but they didn't used to steal people's food like that!" Nurse Joy replied.

"Maybe it was all just an act when they were acting all nice, and they were trying to catch you off guard!" Ryan suggested.

"I certainly hope that's not the case." Nurse Joy said.

"Well something must have happened to make those things act like assholes!" Achmed exclaimed.

"Yeah." Cilan agreed.

"Hey guys, look at that big thingy!" Tristan said as he pointed out the window. Everyone looked where he was pointing.

"Oh, you mean the clock tower!" Nurse Joy said. "It's one of the oldest buildings in town. So old, in fact, the clock and bell no longer work. ...I'm afraid it's going to be torn down soon."

"WHAT?! B-B-B-BU-BU-BUT IF IT'S THAT OLD, IT'S A HISTORICAL LANDMARK!" Josh exclaimed.

"That's too bad." Iris agreed.

"Yes." Nurse Joy nodded. Then they all turned to Shaggy, who was sobbing on the floor.

[LIKE, WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?! I GOTTA EAT SOMETHING! I WON'T SURVIVE, MAN! I NEED MY FOOD!] Krillin chuckled.

"Um...he's pretty hungry." He said as he scratched the back of his head. Then the entire groups stomachs growled.

"Oh my!" Nurse Joy giggled.

"Yeah, we haven't eaten yet!" Cilan said.

"We should stay here for the night and have dinner right away!" Krillin suggested.

"Krillin's got the right idea, fellas!" Popeye agreed.

[Like, finally! FOOD!] Shaggy said ecstatically.

[Yaaay!] Axew cheered. And so the group found themselves seated at a table, eating...stuff. I don't know what they were eating, but they were eating, so they're happy. End of chapter! ...Okay, not really.

Josh smirked and raised an eyebrow as he watched Iris devouring the food in front of them, shovelling it into her mouth.

"Ha. Now who's the kid?" He said with a grin.

"Hey, I'm hungry!" Iris defended, her mouth full of food.

"If you're gonna talk with your mouth full, at least cover it." Josh chastised. Iris swallowed and grinned sheepishly.

"Seems opposites attract." Deadpool muttered to Cilan.

"Do you think so?" Cilan replied.

"No spoilers." Deadpool shrugged.

"Excuse me!" Nurse Joy said. "Tonight's a full moon! So we have Moonwatch Dumplings for dessert!"

"Aw, that kicks ASS!" Ian shouted.

"I'll help hand them out!" Josh volunteered.

"Yeah, I'll help out too!" Popeye added.

"Thank you, boys! Please, follow me!" Josh and Popeye followed as Nurse Joy led them to a room. She opened the door and they all gasped.

"Hey! It's those little squirts again!" Popeye said angrily. And indeed, standing there with a full bag, was the Darumaka from before.

[Uh-oh.] One said.

[We're caught!] The other said.

"GET OVER HERE!" Josh demanded as he ran towards the Darumaka and prepared to catch them. They responded by leaping out of the way.

"HEY STREAK, C'MERE!" Popeye shouted. Streak was by his trainers side in seconds.

[Whattya need, boss?]

"Help us catch these stinkin' Darumaka!" Popeye said.

[Right away, man!] Streak flew after the Darumaka. Josh, Popeye and Streak lunged at them...but they had jumped out the window. Josh looked out the window angrily.

"WE'LL GET YA, YA HEAR ME?!" Josh angrily leaned forward and shook his fist. "WE WILL GET YO-WHOAAAA!" Josh had leaned too far and fallen out the window, hitting the ground headfirst. Josh sat up and rubbed his head, then glared after the Darumaka.

"YOU OKAY, SQUIRT?!" Popeye shouted down.

"YEAH!" Josh shouted back. "YOU SHOULD SEND STREAK AFTER THEM, POPEYE!"

"You heard the kid, Streak!" Popeye said with a nod. "Follow 'em!"

[A'ight!] Streak nodded. Then he flew high above the Darumaka, glaring intently down at them. By this time, the others had come in as well.

"What's going on in here?!" Ryan asked. "I heard crashing noises! Are we wrestling?!"

"NO, RYAN, THE DARUMAKA CAME BACK AND TOOK THE DUMPLINGS!" Josh shouted from outside.

"That's it! I want to know why they're stealing food!" Tristan said, determined. He jumped out the window, and after pulling himself out of the ground [as Deadpool scowled angrily at me], he ran after Streak, who was after the Darumaka. AFTER-CEPTION!

"Tristan, where are you going?!" Josh shouted.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Tristan shouted back. "WHEREVER THEY'RE GOING!" The group all exchanged glances, then nodded.

[All right, ya little robbers!] Streak shouted. [When I get my talons on ya...] The Darumaka kept running.

"Get back here!" Mike shouted.

"Ugh...We would need quite the athlete to keep up with 'em!" Deadpool said. Mike gasped.

"Did somebody say...ATHLETE?! Vell...Svetlana vill catch zese little monkeys! She HAS won every competition!" And so Svetlana started leaping forward, the length of her jumps causing her to far surpass the others.

"An acrobat...not quite what I had in mind, but I guess it works..." Deadpool shrugged.

"They split up!" Iris exclaimed. And indeed, the two Pokémon had taken separate paths through the alleyways. Svetlana turned around.

"Friends! Barney-voice and I shall follow ze bird to ze right! Ze rest of you go left!"

"Sounds good to me!" Josh nodded. "Be ready for a battle, Ivy."

[Always.] The Snivy hanging from his shoulder said with a smirk. And so the group split up. Tristan, Jet, Streak and Svetlana were barely being outran by the Darumaka.

[Geez, how is this thing so fast with those stubby little feet of his?] Jet asked.

"Indeed, it eez quite ze problem!" Svetlana agreed.

"Look! It's going up the endless staircase from Super Mario 64! Now we'll never catch him!" Tristan's theory was proven wrong as the two had reached the top of the stairs. "Oh. Never mind." The group looked around, trying to see where the Pokémon was.

[Dang...looks like we lost him, guys.] Jet sighed. Yet Streak was still looking...

Meanwhile, the others were still chasing the Darumaka. Except not really because it had escaped.

"Oooh, Shaggy's gonna be PISSED!" Krillin said nervously, looking down at the Pokeball he had brought Shaggy back into to prevent him from murdering the Darumaka.

"Hey guys! The endless staircase isn't endless at all! Who knew?!" Everybody turned at the sound of Tristan's voice.

"Deed you have any luck?" Svetlana asked.

"Sorry, we lost track of it." Cilan replied.

[Same here.] Jet said. Mike gasped as he regained control.

"Did we get 'em?" He asked. Everyone shook their heads. "Dang..."

"Where did those little assburgers go to?" Ian asked.

[Too bad...I wanted to try those dumplings...] Little Piggy sighed.

[Hey fellas!] Streak shouted as he flew down. [I found 'em! Right over there!] He pointed to the clock tower with a wing.

"Yeah, I see them too!" Achmed exclaimed. "GET OVER HERE! THERE'S AN EAR-SPLITTING KA-BOOM WITH YOUR STUPID NAMES ON IT!" The group had ran after the Darumaka.

_Insert Who's That Pokémon here..._

Team Rocket was standing on a bridge.

"Headquarters is being very cautious." James said.

"Proving, of course, what an extremely important operation this is." Jessie agreed.

"Also proving we were chosen for this mission because of our considerable skills!" Meowth concluded. A woman wearing the same sunglasses, trench coat and hat the trio was wearing approached.

"Cold, isn't it?" She said.

"Yes. It makes me want to have a nice warm cappuccino." Jessie agreed. The woman placed a suitcase next to Jessie.

"The new item."

"Our next move?" James asked.

"Head to Nacrene City, and await for their orders there."

"Hey guys!" The trio groaned as Stevie approached, wearing see-through sunglasses, a pink trench coat and a bowler hat.

"Who's this idiot?" The newcomer asked.

"Stevie..." Meowth groaned.

"I got clothes just like yours! Now we can be best friends, right?"

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" James shouted as he threw Stevie off the bridge, where he landed in the water with a splash.

[Well, if it isn't the one that got away.]

"Oh no! It's the scary ghost jellyfish again!"

"Hmph. Perfect. The beginning of Team Rocket's future." Meowth said as the other woman walked away. Jessie picked up the suitcase.

"And this mission is the key to it all." James added.

"Bringing us one step closer to our goal." Jessie finished.

_Back with the heroes..._

The group ran up the stairs. They looked in the window and saw the Darumaka run past it. They glared angrily.

"Let me get the door." Popeye growled as he punched the door, knocking it out of the hinges. The group all ran in after the Darumaka. Popeye stayed behind for a second to fix the door by placing it back in the frame, then followed. The Darumaka were climbing the stairs.

"Come back, little monkeys!" Tristan called out, causing them to turn around. The Darumaka panicked and ran faster.

"Come on, don't make us make Krillin sic Shaggy on you!" Ryan called.

"I DON'T WANNA BE ARRESTED!" Krillin yelled. The group climbed the stairs and entered an entrance to an attic. They didn't see the two fire-types.

"Perhaps the infidels kept climbing." Achmed suggested. Then he screamed like a little girl as the Darumaka hit him with a flamethrower.

"No, they did not keep going up! They were right behind us!" Krillin exclaimed.

"I KNOW THAT NOW, YOU IDIOT!" Achmed snapped.

"Why are you two doing this?" Emile demanded. Then there was a glowing light. Emile turned. "TRISTAN, LOOK OUT!"

"As a memorial to Piccolo...DODGE!" Krillin shouted. Tristan jumped to the side as the Darumaka fired at him.

"Hey, look guys! What a lovely campfire! Who wants to roast marshmallows?"

"Jet, use Water Gun to put out the fire!" Mike commanded.

[Right away!] Jet fired a stream of water at the fire, putting it out quickly. The ladder fell, burned to a crisp. The Darumaka went for another dual-fire blast. Popeye responded by whipping out a can of spinach. As the fire came closer, Popeye took a deep breath and blew the fire out as if it were a candle on a birthday cake.

"Yes,birthdaywishesan'all." He muttered, quoting the time he battled a certain "soon to be king of pirates." Popeye then twisted his arm around until it looked like a piece of rope, then approached the Darumaka. The Darumaka panicked and went into sleep mode. Popeye slammed his fist into one, and it unwound. The Darumaka screamed as it was sent spinning around repeatedly as the fist unwinded, before the fist had completely unravelled and the force of the punch took effect, causing it to slam into the wall and fall to the ground facefirst. Popeye then grabbed the second one, molded it into a ball, and rolled it at the first one, causing more damage and waking the second one up. The Pokémon, aside from Axew who was in Iris's hair the first time Popeye had used spinach, and had seen it in action, stared in shock.

[Impossible...it's supposed to be impossible for a human being to knock Darumaka out of its sleeping state!] Ivy exclaimed.

"Popeye doesn't know the meaning of impossible." Deadpool replied. "Did you know he lifted the entire Earth once?" Everyone stared at the sailor in awe.

"Aw, that weren't nothin'!" Popeye said modestly.

"YOU LIFTED THE EARTH! THAT'S AMAZING!" Krillin exclaimed. "I'll bet not even Goku could do something like that!"

"Hey, guys. Not so loud. You'll wake them." Tristan pointed to the Darumaka.

"They're asleep again!" Iris exclaimed.

"Maybe that's how they recover energy." Josh suggested. The group approached the two Darumaka, who immediately woke up and leapt over their heads.

"Come on, we don't wanna fight you!" Tristan said. "I DO want ice cream, though... do you have any?"

"Tristan, what would a couple random wild Pokémon be doing with ice cream?" Josh said flatly.

"Well, they HAVE been stealing food!" Tristan pouted. "Besides, these two are my friends! I'm sure they would let me have some!"

[His...friends?] One Darumaka said.

[Really?] Another said. The two exchanged glances.

"But why are you stealing food?" Tristan asked. "It's kinda rude. ...Hey, that rhymed!" The Darumaka pointed to the hole leading upward.

[The answer is up there!] One said.

"No problem! I can get everyone up there!" Tristan exclaimed as he picked up the two Darumaka. "My voice gives me super strength!" He tossed the two Darumaka through the hole. Then he picked the others up one by one and started tossing them in as well. He was ready to throw Ivy in, but...

[Touch me and get whipped.] She said flatly before extending a vine upward for Josh to reel her up. Then Tristan used his supervoice to leap into the hole himself.

[Thanks for getting us up here!] One of the Darumaka cheered.

"Hooray! I actually got to do something!" Tristan cheered.

"Hey...do you guys feel heat from the ceiling?" Iris asked.

"Hmm...I wonder what's up there." Cilan said. The Darumaka led the way up the stairs. Tristan turned to see what appeared to be a statue.

"Wow! That's a nice statue!" He said cheerfully. "Hey guys, come and admire the art!" The others reached the top of the stairs and turned to the "statue."

"I don't think that's a statue at all, Tristan." Mike said. He pulled out the Pokedex. "A Darmanitan, huh?"

"Ya think this is the Darmanitan that's chums with the Darumaka?" Popeye asked.

"Let me see, in normal mode its physical prowess is enhanced...while its psychic prowess is enhanced in Zen mode." Cilan muttered to himself.

"Wow. What a strange Pokémon." Iris said. "Phew...I'm burning up!"

"Heat must be coming from Darmanitan." Deadpool said. "He's the ultimate flame shield! The author could use one of these... he'd probably send it after the haters who can't even give a proper review! I'm lookin' at you, Matt!"

"Deadpool's right!" Cilan agreed as the Darumaka placed the food on the ground and Darmanitan floated it over.

"Look! It's making the food levitate!" Achmed exclaimed.

"Yes, it's psychic." Cilan explained.

"Oh, so the Darumaka were stealing the food to feed Darmanitan!" Mike nodded in understanding.

"Because Darmanitan keeps using psychic, the heat from Darmanitan's flame sac is leaking out!" Cilan added.

"I don't get it!" Josh said. "Didn't the Pokedex say that Darmanitan switches from Zen mode to Standard mode just as soon as it recovers?"

"Right!" Cilan agreed. "You'd think it would have recovered with all that eating!"

"So why hasn't it?" Tristan asked. "Does it need a doctor?" The Darumaka approached Tristan. "What's this?" He bent over to get a look at a strange object.

"Wha?" Iris said.

"Hmm... looks like some kinda hook!" Popeye exclaimed.

"Y'know, guys, I hope this isn't some sort of prank, because if it is, we fell for it HOOK, line and sinker!"

"Not really a good time, Emile." Josh said flatly.

"Yeah, sorry." Emile chuckled. "Hey...something's up with the bell."

"Wow! The bell is floating!" Tristan said.

"Hmm...I think Darmanitan's keeping it suspended using psychic!" Josh said.

"Why?" Iris asked.

"Let's see..." Josh said. He looked at the bell. "If that bell were to fall, it would crash through the floor and possibly bring the whole clocktower down with it! THE WHOLE THING!"

"And to keep that from happening, Darmanitan must have caught the bell when it started falling!" Cilan added.

"When it couldn't withstand the weight anymore, Darmanitan must have switched to Zen mode to enhance its psychic powers and keep the bell from falling!" Josh added.

"And to keep Darmanitan's strength up, these Darumaka decided to bring it as much food as they possibly could!" Cilan concluded.

"Is that why you stole our lunch?" Tristan asked as he bent down to pat their heads.

[Yeah...] they nodded.

"Wow! Tea would be proud of your amazing friendship skills!" Tristan said with a smile. The Darumaka looked at each other and grinned. Then the glow got more intense. "What's wrong with Darmanitan?!"

"At this rate, Darmanitan's heat will burn right through the floor!" Cilan exclaimed.

"Uh-oh! How can we take care of this?!" Emile asked.

"I don't know! But we have to try!" Tristan said with determination. He put a finger under his chin in thought, then snapped his fingers. "I know! Let's fix the hook!"

"Wow, that's surprisingly well thought out, Tristan!" Ryan complimented.

"Thanks!" Tristan smiled. "I'm smart with a capital G!"

"Aaand there went that." Josh muttered.

"I'm about to be brilliant, guys!" Ian exclaimed. "Little Piggy, we need your help!"

[Right!] Little Piggy nodded.

"Pansage, we need your help as well!" Cilan exclaimed as he released the grass monkey from its Pokeball.

[Iiiiit's fixing time!]

"All right, Little Piggy, use Ember on that hook!" Ian pointed at the now in the air because Pansage threw it hook. Little Piggy did so. The hook fell to the ground. Ian reached over and touched the now-burned hook. He howled in pain and pulled his hand back, the skin charred black and peeling away. Then he turned to the group. "No good. It's not hot enough!" The fire began to burn hotter.

"Aaah! We really need to hurry!" Cilan exclaimed.

[You thinking what I'm thinking?] One Darmanitan said. The other nodded. They approached the hook.

"Hey, look! They want to help!" Tristan said happily.

"All right, Pansage, one more time!" Cilan exclaimed.

[Right away!] Pansage exclaimed before tossing the hook again. Little Piggy and the two Darumaka shot their fire attacks at the hook. It was now glowing red.

"Sweet! It worked!" Ian exclaimed.

"Pansage, use Bullet Seed on that hook!" Cilan commanded. Pansage did so, knocking the hook back and molding it into an S shape. "Great! Just where we wanted it! Excellent presentation!"

"Jet, cool it off with Water Gun!" Mike commanded. Jet did so. Tristan picked the hook up.

"Now we can hook it to the bell!" He said.

"But how?" Iris asked.

"We'd need a ladder to reach up there!" Ryan agreed. Suddenly, Tristan found himself being levitated.

"I'm flying! I knew it was possible!" He said happily.

"Darmanitan's using psychic on ya, buddy!" Deadpool exclaimed. "Hook up that hook!"

"Okay!" Tristan put the hook in place. "Now I just have to hook the bell to it..." He reached down, but couldn't quite reach the bell. "If only I had rubber powers!"

"I'mgladyadon't,thatkidwasarealpainintheneckwiththoserubberpowersofhis..." Popeye muttered. Then Darmanitan lost his hold on Tristan, causing him to fall onto the bell. Tristan clutched at the ring of the bell, but the bell began to fall along with him. Tristan would have been crushed if not for Darmanitan coming out of Zen mode and hefting the bell over his head.

[Hahaha! Thanks for trying, bro!] He said jovially. Then he tossed the bell upward, leapt above the hook, and caught the bell with one hand. Tristan slid off the bell.

"You're welcome! And thanks for saving me! Let's put it back on the hook together." He offered.

[All right, buddy! Here we go!] Tristan lifted under the bell and Darmanitan pulled up. Through their combined efforts, they placed the bell back on the hook with little trouble. Darmanitan grinned down at Tristan and leapt down.

[All right, bro, you're okay!] One of the Darumaka said as the two approached.

[We were so worried about you!] The other one added.

"So he's your big brother!" Ryan said.

[Actually...he's our little brother.] One of the Darumaka said. [We're late to evolve.]

[Thanks for all your help, big bros!] Darmanitan said as he hugged his brothers. Then he ran to Tristan and caught him in a bone-crushing hug as well. [And thank you for helping my bros help me, bro!]

"Hooray! You just crushed my spine!" Tristan said, returning the hug.

"And as for you two, no more stealing peoples food, okay?" Mike said, bending down to the Darumaka. Everyone laughed. Then they continued laughing. Then they just all stopped and stood there awkwardly for a few moments.

"...So...back to the Pokémon center?" Ryan asked. Everyone nodded and leapt down the hole. Before he left, Tristan turned to the three fire-types.

"Bye, guys!" He said happily. "Glad you're better, Darmanitan!"

[Aw, shucks! Thanks, bro!] Darmanitan said happily as Tristan left. [Ha! What a nice guy!] Darmanitan thought for a few moments. [Hey, bros?]

[Yeah?]

[Y'know how I always wanted a trainer, but no one wanted to catch me?] He said.

[Yeah.]

[Well...]

[You want to go with Tristan?]

[Yeah, bro, he's a cool guy!]

_The next day..._

"Another day, another journey!" Krillin yawned.

[Like, I'm still bummed about that food.] Shaggy said sadly.

"Wait!" A voice exclaimed. The group turned to see Nurse Joy running towards them.

"Oh, hey, nurse! What's up?" Josh asked.

"The clock tower won't be torn down! I thought you'd want to know!"

"Oh yeah! History won't be destroyed!" Josh cheered.

"So what happens to it now?" Popeye asked.

"It's going to be completely restored and contained! All thanks to the town!" Everyone cheered.

"Yes! And to thank Darmanitan and the Darumaka for protecting it, the town also decreed that they would be able to live there for as long as they like!"

[That ain't gonna be very long for me, bro!] Everyone turned to see Darmanitan approaching.

"Hi, Darmanitan!" Tristan said.

[Tristan! Just the bro I wanted to see!] Darmanitan and Tristan fist-bumped. [Listen, bro...you're a real cool guy! I wanna hang with ya some more! And I've always wanted a trainer...So I wanna come with ya!]

"Really?!" Tristan exclaimed excitedly. "Hooray! I have a Pokémon!" Tristan touched a Pokeball to Darmanitan's forehead, and it immediately clicked shut. He happily let out his new Pokémon. "I'll call you Bubbles!"

[Awesome! Glad you took me, bro!] Darmanitan said with a broad grin. Then they heard familiar voices.

[Be careful out there, little bro!]

[Show those gyms who's boss!] Darmanitan turned back and grinned at his brothers.

[BYE BROS!] He shouted loudly. [SEE YA AGAIN SOMEDAY!] And so, the group continued their journey, a new friend under Tristan's belt. Will they reach the gym soon? Will Bubbles be a valuable asset to the team? Will Ian ever learn how to brush his teeth? Find out next time, on the next exciting episode of Dragon Ball Z! ...Wait, that's not right...


	11. The Bloom is on Axew

Iris and Josh stared at each other across the field. Iris was using Axew and Cilan was using Pansage. Deadpool and Ian were the announcers.

"We're in for a fight today, folks!" Deadpool announced. "This is our first time seeing Iris battling, and it's against Josh! What's going to happen?"

"Who knows, Deadpool, but it's gonna be a fight, that's for sure!" Ian replied.

[Let's do this!] Axew exclaimed.

"You're raring to go, aren't you Axew?"

[Sure am, mommy!]

"Let's get this show on the road!" Iris said.

"All right." Josh shrugged. He bent down to his Snivy's level. "Hey, Ivy. Let's take it a bit easy on Axew, kay?"

[Of course.] Ivy nodded. [I could never use my full strength on children.]

"LET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!"

_Best Wishes theme..._

Deadpool kicked off the announcing. "Aaaand, Iris and Axew kick off this battle! Looks like Axew's going in for a scratch, but OH! Josh wants Ivy to use Vine Whip! ...Uh, gently, but the point still stands!"

"Here it comes! They're approaching one another! Ivy's preparing to whip...and..she's barely touching the little guy. He's flinching over those little taps. This is...one hell of a battle, folks. One hell of a CRAPPY battle!"

"Looks like Iris is getting pretty upset over those little love taps." And so Iris approached Axew.

"Are you okay, Axew?" She asked.

[Sniff...that hurt, mommy...] Axew sniffled. Ivy flinched slightly.

[I didn't mean to hurt him...]

"Josh! You went too rough on him!" Iris snapped.

"Uh...I'm sorry." Josh said nervously. "We both thought that was pretty gentle."

"Hmm...this training battle isn't going too well." Iris said.

"At this rate, it will be a while before Axew's used to battling." Cilan agreed.

"Well, baby steps." Ryan said, making a backwards walking motion with his fingers. "...I don't know why this baby's moonwalking..."

"But battling's no fun when you're going easy on the other guy!" Ian said.

"And THAT RIGHT THERE is why I would never, for even half a second, consider training with YOU, Ian. Josh and Ivy are willing to adjust the power of their attacks so they don't hurt Axew too much! You, on the other hand, would be barraging my poor baby with full-powered embers and tackles!"

"She's right, man." Josh shrugged.

[And then I'd have to Vine Whip you into submission.] Ivy said with a glare.

"The little guy's gonna need a lot of practice. How many times have you two battled anyway?" Mike asked.

"Well...once...against a human martial artist...and he still has nightmares about it." Axew shuddered at the memory. Iris frowned at her Pokémon. "Do you want to keep going?" Axew shook his head, then looked forward, determined. "There's my strong little Axew!"

[Grrr!] Axew growled adorably. Iris giggled.

[Go get 'em, little buddy!] Jet called.

"All right, Axew! Scratch once more!" Iris commanded. Axew's claws glinted and he approached Ivy.

"Okay, Ivy, block it." Ivy held Axew back with her vines and watched with a raised brow as Axew struggled to get to her.

"Axew needs to go to training camp!" Achmed said. "They'll teach him how to kick ass!"

"Come on, Josh, get serious!" Iris complained.

"What? It's a strategy! Hold the opponents attack back and hit them from a distance! Simple but effective! Ivy, use a little Leaf Storm." Ivy turned her body slightly, summoning three leaves, which slowly fired toward Axew. Axew was still trying to get to Ivy to use Scratch.

"Iris, doesn't Axew know how to use anything other than Scratch?" Krillin asked.

"Yeah, but those moves wouldn't do any good!" Iris replied.

"They gotta be good for somethin'!" Popeye exclaimed. "Why don't ya give 'em a try?"

"No, Popeye, they're useless in this situation. I have no use for those moves at all!"

"The leaves are about to hit." Krillin warned. And indeed, through all this time, the leaves Ivy had fired had finally connected, sending Axew rolling back towards Iris.

"Axew! Are you okay?" Iris said with concern as she caught her Pokémon. Axew got to his feet.

"You know, Iris, I think the others have a point." Cilan said. "You should try the other moves Axew has to add flavor to your fighting style."

"All right, you guys want to see another move? Here's a real move!" Iris exclaimed. "Ready, Axew?"

[Okay, mommy!] Axew nodded.

[Get 'em, squirt!] Streak shouted.

"Axew, use Dragon Rage!" Iris commanded. Axew's belly started to glow as he charged up the attack.

"This is getting interesting!" Deadpool exclaimed, leaning in closer.

[Ya got this, little bro!] Bubbles cheered. Axew charged it a little more, then opened his mouth, revealing a blue orb of energy.

[This...bodes well.] Ivy said flatly. Then Axew made a sound as if he was sneezing, and there was an enormous explosion of smoke. Axew looked around as he found himself in a crater. [Huh? What happened?] He looked up and saw Josh and Ivy staring wide-eyed, both covered in soot. He looked over to the spectators. Ian had fallen unconscious, and Pinkie was drawing...something on his face. Ryan was sobbing hysterically over a cut and Breeze was fussing over it. Mike's shirt had been blown clean off, and Vito had come out.

"WHOOOO! NOW THAT'S A MOVE!" Vito cheered.

Achmed was in pieces, all of which were scattered around the area. Emile had a large bruise on his forehead and Bulbapedia was listing various ways for him to recover. Tristan was claiming that Axew was really Superman in disguise, much to Bubbles' confusion. Popeye had crashed into a tree and gotten flattened like a pancake, while Streak tried to peel him off the tree and Swee'pea giggled at his daddy's predicament. He didn't know what had happened to Krillin until they heard a loud scream. Vito looked over the edge.

"Looks like baldy's being assaulted by a buncha big centipedes!" He reported.

"HELP MEEEEE!"

Krillin Owned Count: 19

After Cilan had dug himself out of a pile of fallen tree branches, he sent Pansage out to chase off the Venipede, saving Krillin. "Why didn't you just let Shaggy out of his Pokeball?" Cilan asked.

"Hard to think when you're being assaulted." Krillin said flatly.

[Mommy? Where are you?] Axew looked around, then turned to see Iris on her knees, her upper body stuck in the ground, before quickly popping out. She chuckled nervously.

"Uh...looks like we messed it up."

[Sorry, mommy.]

"Bad enough I lose my arm, but he also pulls THAT again?!" Deadpool exclaimed. "You just LOVE making me suffer, don't ya, Austin?"

**Yup.**

"Asshole..." The reactions were mixed. Josh, Krillin, Ian, Ryan, Emile, Tristan, Popeye and Pinkie already knew about the healing factor. Vito leapt back, hands up defensively, saying "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" repeatedly. Achmed gasped and admired the wound, comparing it to the aftermath of an explosion he once caused. Shaggy screamed and ran to hide behind a tree. Bulbapedia panicked, stating all the health issues this would cause. Streak covered Swee'pea's eyes in Popeye's stead. Jet looked at the stub where Deadpool's arm was and gagged. Breeze didn't notice, as she was currently putting a Band-Aid on Ryan's cut. Little Piggy screamed. Ivy looked at the armless appendage and gasped, covering her mouth. Bubbles had Deadpool's arm in his hand, and was currently studying it. Cilan and Pansage threw up. Iris screamed, like Little Piggy. And Axew ran up to Deadpool tearfully and hugged his legs.

[I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!] He sobbed. Deadpool bent down to pat the little dragon on the head.

"Eh. No worries." Then Deadpool casually went up to Bubbles and took his arm back, then casually placed it back into its socket.

[...Does this mean anybody can do that?] Axew asked.

"No." Deadpool said flatly. "Just me."

[Okay...] Iris bent down to scoop up her Pokémon.

"Aww, see? Deadpool's perfectly fine." She cooed.

_Meanwhile..._

Team Rocket was seen in an abandoned, run-down building, on a laptop.

"Ready, sir." James said. "All units assembled."

"Good. Your next mission...will take place in the desert resort."

"The desert resort?" Jessie asked. The laptop showed a map.

"The desert resort is located here. There's a meteor called a meteorite. [Is that what he said? I can't tell...] It's somewhere in this area. Your mission is to locate and secure it. A long time ago, this meteorite burst into our atmosphere, It broke apart, and was scattered around the world. It's said that the largest piece of it can be found in the Unova region. Even one tiny fragment of this meteorite can release an enormous amount of energy. The analysis on the energy sample you sent us from the dream yard has been completed. We located an enormous energy flow in the Unova region, and it has an identical energy signature. And the center of that energy flow is located within the desert resort. So now...if we obtain the meteorite, we can alter the energy balance of the entire world. This is the key to Team Rocket's plan for world conquest." Jessie, James and Meowth grinned. "Also, we'll be sending you an additional agent for this mission."

"The significance of which I'm sure cannot be overstated!" James agreed.

"Proceed to the rendezvous point immediately."

"Sir!" All three member said as they saluted.

"Hi guys!"

"WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!" Jessie screeched.

"Oh, I got away from the scary jellyfish again!" Stevie replied.

"Get this idiot out of here!"

"Who's the guy on the computer screen?" Stevie looked down at the computer. "Hi! Do you wanna be friends?"

"What's this fool's name?"

"I'm Stevie."

"Yes, well...F*CK OFF, STEVIE!"

"Awww, aren't we all friends here?" The camera focused on Stevie's smiling face. Then Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni's disgusted expressions. Then Stevie's smiling face. Then Team Rocket's disgusted ones. Then Stevie getting thrown out of a three story window.

_Back with the group..._

Iris sighed as she leaned back against the tree, stroking Axew's head. "Dragon Rage still isn't working. It's so frustrating!"

[I'm sorry, mommy...] Axew said sadly.

"Awww, it's not your fault. We just need to practice more." Iris assured before kissing the top of Axew's head, causing him to giggle.

"I have a name for Axew's Dragon Rage!" Iris heard Ian say, oblivious to the fact that Iris and Axew were on top of the tree branch.

[It's going to be mean, isn't it?] Little Piggy said.

"Dragon SNEEZE!" Ian cracked up at his own joke. Axew looked down sadly and began to tear up. Iris glared down at Ian, hellfire in her eyes. Ian was still laughing when he heard an enraged yell. He looked up just in time to see Iris pouncing down on top of him.

"Ow! Ow! Not the face! Ow! Ohohow! My nose is broken! Aaah! Don't pull my beautiful bowl haircut! Stop it, please! Wait...no...no, don't hit me there! Don't hi-" Ian spent the next twenty minutes singing opera as Little Piggy grimaced and Iris went back up the tree to console her crying baby. "It was just a joke..." Ian sobbed.

"Well it wasn't funny!" Iris snapped. "You made Axew cry!"

"Sorry..." Ian muttered as he got to his feet. "So, doesn't Axew know any other moves?"

"No, only Scratch and Dragon Rage." Iris replied sadly. "Dragon Rage is supposed to cause damage by shooting balls of energy. But whenever Axew uses it, the energy balls explode." Iris sighed. "So, I thought it would be good to take it slow, and learn as we go along." During this time, Axew had slid down the tree and began climbing up an apple tree. "But then I realized...it's a long, long road to evolve into a Haxorus." Axew had gotten two apples from the tree, and returned to his trainer.

[Here, mommy! Maybe this will make you happy!]

"Aww, thanks Axew. You're such a sweetie." Iris giggled as she took one of the apples.

"Hey, looks like those tusks came in handy!" Josh said as he approached the tree, Ivy on his shoulder.

"Hi, Josh." Iris said with a smile. "How much did you hear?"

"I heard enough." Josh said with a shrug.

"Where are the others?" Iris asked.

"Eh, back in our resting area. Cilan asked me to get some berries so he can make lunch." Ian replied with a shrug.

"And he sent me to look for you because you were taking so long to come back." Josh added.

"Heeeeey!" Ian complained. Iris giggled before taking a bite out of the apple Axew had gotten her.

"Mmm. It's delicious. Thanks, Axew." Iris said as she stroked Axew's head lovingly.

"Haha! That kind of praise makes the little guy happy!" Josh chuckled.

Ivy chuckled. [He's going to get more fruit.]

"Make sure you don't go too far!" Iris called out, slightly worried. "I don't want to lose you!"

[Spoken like a true mother.] Ivy muttered to herself. [No wonder the little guy calls her mommy...]

"Well, I'll give ya this, Iris...Axew's gonna be a tough cookie once he gets the hang of Dragon Rage!" Ian said.

"Yeah, I'd keep training him up on that." Josh agreed. "He'll get the hang of it eventually."

"You think so?" Iris asked hopefully.

"I KNOW so." Josh replied with a nod.

"Wow, thanks guys." Iris said with a smile.

"Hey! You guys talkin' about Axew and his Dragon Sn-"

"DEADPOOL, DON'T SAY IT!" Ian warned. Deadpool looked up and flinched under Iris's glare.

"Aaaanyway, did I hear you guys talkin' about Axew's training?" Deadpool asked.

"Yeah, we were just saying it would be good for Axew to keep training." Josh replied.

"I know! How about ya have a battle with me and Pinkie?" Deadpool suggested.

"Could be worth a shot." Josh said with a shrug.

"It'll be cool!" Ian agreed. Iris started sweating nervously.

"Hey, c'mon, it'll be fun!" Deadpool assured. "And it'll be just like the real thing!"

"I...I don't know...those moves you taught Pinkie look like they could really hurt him." Iris said with concern.

"Eh, guess you're right." Deadpool shrugged. "Hey, Ian, ya get the berries yet? We're all starvin'!"

"Aw crapbaskets!" Ian exclaimed as he ran off to get the berries. The trio in the tree watched him go, Little Piggy trailing behind.

"So, Iris, how'd ya get Axew anyway?" Josh asked.

"Yeah, everyone who hasn't seen the Anime would wanna know that!" Deadpool agreed.

"Well...he was kind of a gift." Iris replied.

"A gift?" Josh asked.

"From who?" Deadpool asked.

"An elder." Iris replied.

"An elder?" Josh asked.

"Yeah. From my hometown." Iris replied.

"From your hometown?" Deadpool asked.

"Yeah, the Village of the Dragons." Iris replied.

"The Village of the Dragons?" Deadpool asked.

"What part of that confuses you exactly?" Iris said in annoyance. Deadpool shrugged.

_Insert Who's That Pokémon here_

"See, where I come from...it's a quiet little village where they specialize in training Dragon-type Pokémon."

_Flashback..._

_"Iris...the moment of your great trial has finally come to pass." The elder said._

_"Yes, elder." Iris replied respectfully with a nod._

_"And so, I'm giving you this Axew." The elder slid a basket forward and opened it, revealing the sleeping Axew._

_[Hmm?] Axew woke up. [What's going on?]_

_"You and Axew will journey together." The elder said._

_"Yes, ma'am." Iris said with a smile as she scooped up the little dragon. The Axew was nervous at first, but calmed down quickly when Iris held him close to her chest._

_"Raising Axew into a powerful Haxorus will lead to your own growth." The elder said. "The truth is, this little Axew emerged from its egg only a few short days ago. If you get to know Axew's heart, you will raise it to be strong, though the path you take to raise Axew is your choice."_

_"Right." Iris said with a nod._

_"As you go, learn that the true meaning of becoming an adult is to raise a Pokémon by learning its heart, and becoming one with it. Do not ever forget what I have said."_

_End flashback..._

Iris sighed. "So that's how I got him. It's been a while since we started our journey, and I began to realize I have to get him into battling, and fast. That's why I asked Josh to help me out by having a battle with me in the first place."

"I can totally see where you're coming from." Josh said with a nod.

"Is that elder lady your grandma?" Deadpool asked.

"No, Deadpool. She's the leader of our village." Iris said as she rolled her eyes. "Isn't that right, Axew?" No reply. "...Axew?" Iris looked around. "AXEW!" She screeched as she saw Axew trying to get some apples on high branch by balancing on a thin one. She leapt out of the tree and dashed towards the tree Axew was currently in, Josh and Deadpool close behind. "AXEW, GET OFF THAT BRANCH BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!" Iris called out in concern.

[Huh? Mommy?] Axew looked down...then fell off the branch.

"AXEW!" Iris shrieked as she dashed towards where her little dragon was falling. But she wasn't fast enough, as Axew had landed in a bush. "Oh please be okay, please be okay..." Iris then leapt back with a shriek as a large Scolipede came out of the bushes, Axew in his horns.

[Hey! Why you little...] The Scolipede angrily shook its head back and forth, trying to get Axew out of them.

[Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!] Axew was stuttering.

"Ivy, use Vine Whip!" Josh commanded.

[Right!] Ivy glared at the Scolipede and hit him with her vines. The attack made the Scolipede flinch, and he glared angrily at the Snivy before knocking her away with its tail. Ivy slammed backfirst into a tree, then fell to the ground. Josh rushed to his Pokémon. Then the enraged Scolipede went on a rampage and ran through the forest, trying to get Axew out of his horns. Iris ran right after him. Deadpool turned to the camera.

"Author...PLEASE tell me I'm getting a Scolipede later!" He begged. "I just GOTTA have one!"

**That would be spoiling, wouldn't it?**

"Ah, bite me!" Deadpool pouted.

_Meanwhile..._

"Hey, Little Piggy, do these berries look good to you?" Ian asked, holding a handful of berries out to his Pokémon.

[Yeah! ...Y'know, once you get around the mold, the weird grey color and the fact that there are worms squirming around in them.] Then they heard a loud crash. Ian and Little Piggy turned to see the Scolipede with Axew in its horns running towards them from a distance, levelling trees in the distance. Ian backed up against a tree.

"Aaah! Little Piggy, it's coming right at me!"

[Why can't you just run?] Little Piggy asked.

"IT'S COMING RIGHT AT ME!"

[Ian, run!] Ian reached out a hand dramatically.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Luckily for him, just as the Scolipede was about to run into him, it tripped over a rock and rolled above him, before crashing through the tree. Unfortunately, this made it angrier.

[IAN, RUUUUUN!] Little Piggy panicked. Ian scooped up his Tepig and ran as fast as he could, enhanced by the power of his bowl haircut. The Scolipede chased Ian and Little Piggy around for ten minutes. The screen even showed a Pac-Man maze, but with Ian's smiling head as one of the ghosts after you get a power pellet, the Scolipede as Pac-Man, and trees as the dots.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-Oooh, Cilan wanted these." Ian's head stopped moving for a few moments to collect some fruit before moving again. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The camera then cut back to reality. Stevie was wandering around the woods, looking at a map. Then he looked up.

"Oh hi Ian! Wanna hang ou-"

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Ian shouted as he shoved Stevie into the path of the Scolipede, the shove causing him to fall over. Then the Scolipede ran over his back.

"Oooh, my coccyx..." Stevie groaned, never losing the smile. The Scolipede continued chasing Ian and Little Piggy, until Axew's belly began glowing with energy and he sneezed. Ian continued running, oblivious to the smoke, and Iris, who had been following the whole time, coughed, the smoke obstructing her vision. When the smoke cleared, she had lost sight of the Scolipede.

"AXEEEEEEW!" She shouted in panic.

_Meanwhile, back at the resting point..._

"Got any threes?" Krillin asked.

"Go fish." Popeye replied. Suddenly, the Scolipede burst into the clearing, ramming into Krillin and sending him flying into a tree, where he immediately fell unconscious.

Krillin Owned Count: 20

"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!" Mike exclaimed. He pulled out his Pokedex. "A SCOLIPEDE?!" Josh and Deadpool ran into the clearing.

"There it is!" Josh exclaimed. "It's got Axew, guys!"

"Not for long it don't!" Popeye snarled as he pulled out a can of spinach. After eating the spinach, he glared up at the Scolipede as it menacingly approached him and rolled up some of the skin on his arm as if it were a sleeve, then delivered a powerful uppercut to the Pokémon's chin, sending it flying off into the woods with a loud cry. Everyone watched the Scolipede fly away.

"...Popeye, that Scolipede still has Axew." Cilan said flatly.

"...Whoops."

"Aw, geez!" Josh ran after the Scolipede.

"Wait up, squirt!" Popeye exclaimed as he ran after it. The others were quick to follow. After they were all gone, Ian had managed to get back to the resting area, with the fruit he had gained from the Pac-Maze in hand.

"Hey guys, I got fruit!" He shouted. He looked around and saw the empty camp, aside from the unconscious Krillin. "...Guys?"

Meanwhile, Iris was panicking over the Scolipede and Axew's disappearance.

"Oh Arceus, how could I let this happen?! I'm supposed to be his mommy! Agh! I'm the worst Poke-mommy ever!" She chastised herself. She then jumped as she heard a loud THUD! She turned around to see the Scolipede, and her beloved Pokémon. "AXEW!" Iris shouted.

[Help me, mommy!] Axew shouted in terror. The Scolipede was REALLY mad now, and had fired a stream of purple gunk into the sky. Meanwhile, Stevie was still in the woods, waddling around, looking for a way out. He screamed like a scratchy-voiced little girl as the purple gunk enveloped him and burned his flesh. Back with Iris, she felt sick as she watched Axew being bucked around like that. She sighed.

"Please, PLEASE work with me just this once..." She whispered. She pulled out another Pokeball. "Come on, Excadrill!" The Pokémon came out of his Pokeball...but he had hidden himself away, his claws over his face. Iris sighed.

"Excadrill, PLEASE! You have to help me save Axew!" No response. "PLEASE, I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!" Still no response. Iris growled. "UGH! FINE! I'LL DO IT MYSELF!" She turned to glare at the Scolipede. "This is part of my trial...my duty as both a member of the Village of the Dragons...and Axew's mother..." she muttered to herself. She climbed up the nearest tree, and grabbed a vine. Luckily for her, Scolipede had been too busy throwing its little temper tantrum to notice she was in the vicinity. She swung down towards it, grabbed Axew's leg, and pulled him free of the Scolipede's horns, then landed on the ground behind it. She looked surprised. "Whoa, I did it!" Axew opened his eyes, then looked over at Iris.

[Mommy!] Axew cheered as he hugged Iris.

Iris looked down at Axew in concern. "Did it hurt you, Axew? Are you hurt? Let me see." She started inspecting Axew for injuries. This was a bad time to do so, however, as the Scolipede was still raging mad. It turned to Iris with a glare. It kicked the dirt behind it, accidentally kicking Excadrill, sending him rolling backward, until it ended up headfirst in a rock. Scolipede glared down at the terrified Iris and Axew, but turned when it heard a drilling noise. as did the latter two. They looked to see Excadrill was spinning into the rock, then the ground beneath the rock. Scolipede looked down at the ground beneath it, then yelped in pain as Excadrill erupted out of the ground and into its belly. While still airborne, Excadrill came out of his digging form.

[Hmph. I'll show you...] Excadrill said menacingly.

"Excadrill..." Iris whispered.

[So THAT'S what uncle Excadrill looks like!] Axew said. Excadrill landed behind Scolipede, who turned to him with a glare.

[BIG mistake, ya little punk.] Scolipede snarled.

[Oh was it now?] Excadrill said with a scowl.

"Excadrill, use Dig!" Iris shouted. She was ignored. She sighed. "Still not listening to me..." The Scolipede fired a shot of Toxic at Excadrill, who casually deflected it with one of his claws. Then Excadrill went into digging mode and drilled into Scolipede's neck, sending it skidding back. Scolipede angrily dashed at Excadrill, who casually vaulted it over his head, sending it flying into the distance.

"WE DIDN'T MEAN TO STARTLE YOU!" Iris called as the Scolipede flew. Meanwhile, the others were still looking for the Scolipede. They were running...when a shadow fell over them.

[Hey, look bros!] Bubbles exclaimed. [Looks like it doesn't have our little buddy anymore!] Indeed, the Scolipede that was about to land on them had empty horns.

"Then I guess I can do THIS!" Popeye shouted as he uppercutted the Scolipede, sending it flying again. Iris saw this from her area and scratched her head in confusion.

[Hmph. What a pathetic bug...] Excadrill smirked. Iris ran up and hugged Excadrill.

"Thank you SO much for helping, Excadrill." She said happily.

[Thank you, uncle Excadrill!] Axew agreed. Excadrill blinked.

[UNCLE Excadrill? Wouldn't that have to make me Iris's brother?]

[Mommy, is uncle Excadrill your brother?] Excadrill chucked lightly at this.

[No, I'm not her brother. But...I used to be close enough...] Excadrill looked away from his trainer, sighed, and went back into digging mode. Iris sighed.

"Iris!" Iris turned at the sound of Josh's voice to see everyone else coming in.

"What happened?" Mike asked.

[Is Axew okay?] Ivy demanded.

"What's that?" Ryan asked. Everyone looked at Excadrill. Tristan gasped.

"It's a football!" He picked Excadrill up with his super strength. "Deadpool! Go long!" He tossed Excadrill at Deadpool. Excadrill hit Deadpool's chest headfirst, his claws embedding themselves into it to the point where his entire upper body went through Deadpool's chest.

"Hey, I wasn't ready!" Deadpool snapped.

"That's not a football, guys..." Iris sighed.

[That's Uncle Excadrill!] Everyone was relieved to see Axew was okay.

"Excadrill?" Mike looked it up in his Pokedex. "Huh. Looks nothing like the picture..."

"That's because that's what Excadrill looks like when its digging, Mike." Cilan explained. "But why on Earth is is like that now?"

"Well, it doesn't matter...Excadrill, return." Iris sighed as she called Excadrill back to his Pokeball. "Someday, when the time is right, we're gonna battle together Excadrill." Iris scooped up Axew again and hugged him. "I'm so sorry if it turned out to be a scary day for you!" She said.

[I'm okay, mommy!] Axew replied, snuggling into her chest.

"Y'know, Iris.." Cilan began. "Battling is an art form. And it takes time to perfect, just like the art of cooking."

"Yeah, so just relax train at your own pace. And the same goes for Excadrill." Josh agreed. Iris smiled.

"Thanks! We will!"

[Yaaaay!] Axew cheered.

"Whattya say we all head back to camp?" Popeye suggested. Everyone agreed. When they got there, they saw Ian and Krillin playing Go-Fish.

"Oh, hey guys! You're back! I got the fruit, Cilan." Ian exclaimed.

"Wonderful! Now I can make lunch!" Cilan said with a nod.

"Hey, Iris, wanna battle?" Ian asked. Iris rolled her eyes.

"If you want to battle so bad, why don't you just battle Little Piggy?" She said.

"That sounds like a fantabulous idea!" Ian agreed.

[...Really?] Little Piggy said.

"Yeah, let's go!" Ian ran to one side of the area. Little Piggy stared at his trainer in confusion, then shrugged and went to the other side of the field.

"Iris, you were just begging for Ian to do something stupid there." Achmed said flatly.

"You're right." Iris agreed.

"All right, Little Piggy, use Ember!" Ian commanded. Then he screamed as the embers caused third-degree burns. "Okaaaay, here I come!" Ian began dashing toward Little Piggy. "I'm gonna get ya...I'm gon-AAAAAAAAHHH!" Little Piggy used Flame Charge, knocking Ian back into a tree.

"Ian, you're an idiot." Josh said flatly.

"I'm not done yet!" Ian shouted, his hair on fire.

_Meanwhile..._

Stevie was wandering through the woods, when the Scolipede came down. He looked at it. It stared back.

"Hi! I'm Stevie!" The Scolipede blinked.


	12. A Rival Battle for Club Champ

"We've been over this, Ian! We wanna check out the Battle Club in Luxuria Town!" Ryan said.

"Well excuuuuuuuse me, Ryan!" Ian snapped.

"Hey, guys! There it is!" Mike pointed out.

[Yeah! Time to kick some BUTT!] Jet exclaimed excitedly. And so, the group entered the building.

"Neat lookin' place, eh fellas?" Popeye said.

"Yes, much nicer than the clubs I went to!" Achmed agreed.

_Flashback..._

_"Walter, why did you drag me to your Bridge Club?" Achmed asked timidly._

_"Because I don't like you, and I don't like Bridge. Now shut the hell up and start playing, dumbass!" Walter snapped._

_"Okay..." Achmed squeaked._

_End flashback_

"Okay, let's check out who we can fight so we can be ready for our next Gym Battle." Josh suggested. Everyone looked over his shoulder as he browsed the other competitors. Then he froze. "Aw, geez, him again?!"

"Nooooo!" Krillin groaned.

"That little assmuncher is here too?!" Ian complained.

"I hoped we'd never run into him again!" Ryan agreed.

Mike gasped. "Dagnabbit! This disrespectful little punk again?! Ooh, I just wanna whack him with my cane, the little brat!" Chester muttered.

"I'd rather blow his stupid ass up." Achmed replied.

"Why is his name another word for "fall"?" Tristan asked.

"Great, we meet the jerkface again." Emile groaned.

"He'll mellow out, guys, don't worry!" Deadpool assured.

"I still wanna give that little whelp what-for..." Popeye muttered.

"Who are you guys talking about?" Iris asked.

"Trip..." Josh scowled.

_Best Wishes theme..._

"So who's Trip?" Iris asked.

"I never knew he was in town!" Cilan said.

"Eh? You sayin' ya know this rotten kid, sonny?" Chester asked.

"Indeed I do, Mike's alternate personality!" Cilan nodded. "He challenged the Striaton Gym and won himself a badge!"

"Of course he did. Little jerk..." Josh muttered.

"Will you guys please stop the private conversation and tell me who Trip is?" Iris requested.

"Trip is an asshole." Tristan said simply.

"Oh, yeah, THAT completely explains it." Iris said sarcastically.

"Nothin' much we can tell ya about him, really. He's an anti-Kantite, we met him at Professor Juniper's lab, and his personality seems to switch after this appearance of his."

"And his Snivy is an asshole!" Achmed added.

"He was also the first person I ever battled." Mike added.

"Guys...I'm gonna battle Trip." Josh said flatly.

"Aw, but I wanted to do it!" Krillin complained.

"Next time, Krillin. Next time." Josh replied.

[Just leave this little jerk to us, baldy.] Ivy agreed. Krillin rubbed the top of his head with a frown.

"All right, Josh, I'll hook ya up!" The group turned to see a familiar face. "When it comes to battling, leave it to us! And welcome to the Pokémon Battle Club! So you wanna have a battle with Trip, eh? What's your name, son?"

"Um...Josh. ...Hey..."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Hey! Ain't you the guy Mike and his young friends met in that other town? ...Acmula Town or somethin' like that?" Chester asked.

"You mean Accumula Town?"

"That's the one!" Chester nodded.

"Of course, you must've paid a visit to my cousin's club!"

"Your cousin?" Josh asked with a raised brow.

"Indeed! Look over there!" He pointed to a picture on the wall of a bunch of men who all looked like Don George.

"Holy crap, they all look the same! Just like my wives back home." Achmed exclaimed.

"Wives? You have more than one wife?" Iris asked.

"Yeah, 42! They all look the same and their faces are always covered!" Achmed replied.

"How d'ya tell 'em apart?" Popeye asked.

"The numbers on their backs!" Achmed replied.

"That's terrible!" Iris said, shocked.

"I know, Mothers Day is a bitch!" Achmed agreed. "And so are half of the mothers."

"He's reusing jokes AGAIN!" Deadpool exclaimed. "What the hell?!"

"Anyway..." The man pointed to one of the Don George look-alikes. "This is the Don George you met in Accumula Town." He pointed to another. "And this is me, over here! Don George of Luxuria Town!"

"Holy crap, at least my wives had different names! ...Though I didn't really take the time to REMEMBER them..." Achmed said.

"Allow me to get Trip for ya!" Don George went over to the computer and began typing. "I'll contact him on his cellphone!"

_Meanwhile..._

Trip was taking pictures of the town when his cellphone rang. "Huh?" He clicked the answer button and held it to his ear.

"Hey there, Trip! There's someone here at the Battle Club who wants to battle ya."

"TRIP! I demand this battle! DEMAND IT!" Josh exclaimed.

"Josh, huh? So you guys are in town too?"

"Tell him I said hi!" Trip could vaguely make out Tristan's voice.

"Why would you WANT to say hi to him?!" Josh exclaimed.

"Here, lemme put him on speakerphone!" Trip could vaguely make out Don's voice. "There we go!"

"Hi, Trip!"

"Whatever, Tristan."

"He doesn't sound as bad as you guys made him out to be..." Iris said.

"Who's the girl?" Trip asked with a raised brow.

"That's Iris! We met her after we left Professor Juniper's lab!" Emile replied.

"Professor Juniper...I gotta call her soon..." Popeye sighed.

"By the way, Popeye's in love with Professor Juniper." Ian said flatly.

"DON'T TELL HIM THAT, YA IDIOT!" Popeye snapped.

"How are you doing, Trip?"

"Cilan? From the Striaton City gym?"

"Right! You see, Iris and I have officially joined the group!"

"So, you. Me. Battle Club. Now." Josh said.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Trip said flatly. "I'd rather wait until you actually have a Pokémon."

[Well, that works out nicely. Get down here.] Ivy said flatly.

"I haven't been this pissed off since I got hit by Zekrom's lightning." Krillin muttered.

"THE Zekrom?" Cilan asked. "The Legendary Pokémon?"

"Uh-huh. Apparently it was in Nuvema Town." Iris nodded.

"Wow! Amazing!" Cilan said in awe.

"YOU ARE GONNA BATTLE ME, YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL BEAT YOU, AND IT WILL BE GLOOOOOOOORIOUS!"

"Is that a Snivy I heard?" Trip asked. Though he seemed to be a lot closer than he was on the phone. Everyone turned to see him standing in the door.

"I could hear that loud mouth of yours all the way down the street you know." Trip said flatly.

"Does this mean...you accept my challenge?!" Josh said dramatically.

"Actually, I just came to tell you to shut up before you deafen the whole town...but if it were a full six-on-six battle, maybe it would be worth doing."

"Aw come on! Ivy here's my only Pokémon!" Josh complained as he held the grass snake up. She looked up at Trip with a neutral expression.

"Only one?" Trip scoffed.

"Hey, I also got a badge!" Josh defended, presenting the badge he got for beating Cilan.

"I already won two badges." Trip said with a smirk.

"AW YA GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME!" Josh exclaimed. "THERE'S JUST ALWAYS GOTTA BE THAT ONE GUY WHO'S ALWAYS AHEAD OF YA JUST BARELY, AND ACTS ALL "LOOKIT ME, I'M KING OF THE WORLD, ME AND MY TWO BADGES!" Josh glared at Trip, along with his Snivy.

"Don George...I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to take a pass on this battle." Trip said flatly.

"You're serious?" Don asked as Iris and Cilan watched wide-eyed and everyone else just glared.

"What's the point? Josh has only got one Pokémon and one badge."

"OH YOU AND YOUR STUPID LITTLE EMO HAIR AND YOUR STUPID RED SHIRT ARE JUST SCARED OF ME AND IVY BEATING YOU!" Josh snapped.

"A-mazing. Where you get all that groundless confidence is beyond me." Trip snarked. "Are all trainers from the Kanto region boonies just like you?" Then he was knocked down by a right hook, courtesy of Ian.

"YOU RACIST PIECE OF SH*T!" Trip scowled at Ian as he got up and wiped some blood from his nose.

"Hmph. I think I'll look for a better opponent over at the next town. See ya." He turned to walk away.

"Why not go for it? It's just a battle!" Iris said. Trip turned to look at her. "It's obvious you're quite the talker, but all talkers like you...are obviously little kids."

"Haha! It's okay when you say it to him!" Deadpool laughed. Trip turned to glare.

"Little kids?" He said. Cilan chuckled.

"As for me, I'd really enjoy seeing the two of you have a battle!"

"Yeah, let's see if Josh's offscreen training with Ivy paid off!" Deadpool agreed.

"Hmph." Trip turned away.

"It's like...intelligence and coolness colliding, creating a crisp and flavorful combination, with lots of depth." Cilan said. "Just the kind of battle I'd like to see!" Trip sighed.

"I take it back." He approached. "Don George, please be the ref for our one on one battle." Ivy smirked.

[Bring it on.] She said.

Trip turned to Josh and smirked. "Make sure it's not a TOTAL waste of my time, okay?" Josh glared at Trip's back. And so, they were all in the Battle Club, watching the fight take place.

"The one on one fight between Trip and Josh will now get underway. Get ready...GO!"

"All right, Servine! Let's go!" Trip tossed his Pokeball out, and the grass snake appeared.

[S'up, bitches!]

"So you evolved it, huh?" Josh said. "All right, Ivy! You ready to beat his BUTT?!"

[You need to ask?] Ivy asked with a smirk.

[Insert Who's That Pokémon here...]

Ivy leapt onto the field.

[Heeeeey, what's up, baby?] Servine said flirtatiously. [What's a beauty like you doin' with that loser on the rundown side of the hood?] Ivy grimaced at the Servine's words.

[Yeeeeeeah, keep dreaming, creep.] She said flatly.

"Your Servine has flirted with my Snivy! It better prepare to be...PUNISHED!"

[Wipe that perverted look off your face!] Ivy snarled.

[Ooh, she's feisty! I like that.]

"That is a creepy-ass Servine!" Ian exclaimed.

"Looks like Josh and Ivy mean business! This should be interesting." Iris said as she leaned in closer.

"Trip defeated Chilli's Pansear with that Servine, allowing him to win the Trio Badge! There's no doubt this battle is robust and densely rich! They'd better stay sharp!" Cilan said.

"Ivy, whip 'em!" Ivy obeyed, using Vine Whip. Servine dodged to the side. "All right, Leaf Blade!" Ivy's tail glowed green and she fell towards Servine, ready to hit him.

"Dodge and use Leaf Tornado!" Trip commanded. Servine leapt back, causing Ivy's tail to hit the dirt. Then he flipped upside down and spun around, creating a massive green tornado.

[This could hurt...] Ivy said flatly before the tornado engulfed her. She was sent flying into the air, then pitched back towards the ground headfirst, leaving a cloud of dust. The dust cleared to reveal Ivy was half-buried in the ground. Deadpool, from the bleachers, glared at the screen, then tossed the popcorn he was eating directly at it.

**Ouch! **Exclaimed the author as he was hit in the head by a container of popcorn.

Ivy pulled herself out of the ground with her vines, then scowled at Servine.

[Whattya say we go back to my crib after this, eh hottie?] Servine flirted. Ivy shuddered at what he was implying.

"You shut your mouth, or so help me, I will have Popeye and Bubbles hold you down, so I can tie you in the Devil's Knot!" Josh snapped.

[Meanwhile I'll be repeatedly whipping you.] Ivy agreed.

[Ooooh, she's kinky, too.] Servine purred. Ryan threw up.

"THE DEVIL'S KNOOOOOOOOOT!" Josh threatened.

"Like I said before...I trained my Snivy. And it evolved into Servine." Trip said.

"Oh yeah? Well that ain't gonna help much in the long run, TRIPPY!" Josh replied. "WHIP 'EM AGAIN!" Ivy tried whipping Servine again, but he dodged all three strikes.

[C'mon, now, sexy, I ain't got time for your kinky games.] Servine said with a smirk.

"Well, let's take advantage of this, shall we?" Josh said. "Ivy, Attract 'em!" Ivy then used Attract.

[Huh? Aw, don't go all girly on me with all these hear-WHOA! HOLY CRAP, YOU WERE HOT BEFORE, BUT NOW...DAMN!]

"I wonder how uncomfortable the author is writing this thing's dialogue?" Deadpool said.

**Very.**

"Well, ya gotta leave your comfort zone if ya wanna make a good story!" Deadpool shrugged. "Though you're not really making a GOOD one here..."

**Remember when I threatened to write you out?**

"Shutting up."

**Smart guy.**

Servine was now standing motionlessly, staring at Ivy, mouth agape, a puddle of drool forming at his feet.

"This Servine is SUCH AN ASSHOLE!" Achmed yelled. "And now he's a PERVERT?!"

"I forgot Snivy even knew Attract!" Iris exclaimed.

"But using it on that thing is not something you want to do!" Achmed added.

"Especially if it has its eyes on you beforehand." Cilan agreed, watching Servine's reaction uncomfortably.

"That whippersnapper's Severn thingy should be thrown in Pokémon jail!" Chester exclaimed. "I mean, it's like he's a grown man tryin' to pick up girls that're still in high school!"

[She's actually in her early twenties.] Jet corrected.

"How d'you know that, sonny? You two havin' a little relationship behind all our backs?"

"She...told you before, dude." Emile said. "Remember? Mike stubbed his toe on a rock? You came out? Ivy was sleeping on the rock Mike stubbed his toe on, so you spent twenty five minutes ranting to her about how annoying rocks were, then called her a young'un? She got annoyed and told you all our Pokémon, aside from Axew, were in their early twenties?"

"Oh, you kids should know by now my rememberin' skills ain't what they used to be!" Chester snapped. "Why, back in my day..."

[I miss Mike...] Jet sighed.

"Okay, now use Vine Whip!" Josh commanded Ivy. Ivy obeyed, whipping Servine in the back.

[Oh yeah, baby, that's the stuff...] Servine purred before falling on his stomach.

"Servine, no!" Trip yelled.

"All right, Ivy, knock him out with Leaf Blade!" Josh commanded.

[Gladly.] Ivy replied with a smirk before leaping into the air and bringing her tail down onto Servine's back, causing him to yelp in pain before falling unconscious.

"No, Servine!" Trip exclaimed.

"Servine is unable to battle. Ivy is the winner! Victory goes to Josh!"

"Yeah, that's right! Hug me, Snivy!" Josh scooped up Ivy in a hug. Ivy smirked up at him.

[You're going to do this every time we win a battle, aren't you?] She asked.

"Probably!" Josh said. Trip sighed.

"Well...okay, not bad." He turned to the others, watching in the bleachers. "Do any of you guys want to battle too? One on one?" Chester stood up.

"All right, you punk kid!" He exclaimed. "I'm gonna show you the old fashioned way of battling!"

[Wait, what?] Jet looked up at the old man in Mike's body.

"Chester, I'll bet ya ya don't even know the NEW fashioned way of battlin'!" Popeye exclaimed.

"Don't disrespect your elders, sonny!" Chester snapped. "This boy needs some discipline!" Chester hobbled down to the field. Trip rolled his eyes.

"'Bout time you got here, old man. Thought I was gonna be here till my eighty-third birthday." He muttered.

"Oooh, I'll teach you a lesson ya won't forget, sonny!" Chester snapped. "All right, uh..."

[Jet...] Jet muttered.

"Jeb, let's show 'em!" Jet sighed.

[Okay...]

"Don George...can you ref a few more battles?" Trip asked.

"I'd be happy to!" Don nodded.

"All right then, Tranquill! I need your help!" Trip exclaimed as he tossed another Pokeball, releasing his Tranquill.

"Eh? What's this bird?" Chester asked. He reached into Mike's pocket and pulled out the Pokedex. "Uh...what's that?" He asked it. No response. "Doh, dagnabbed modern technology!"

"Let me give it a shot." Chester jumped back in fear as Deadpool appeared beside him with the teleportation unit he has on his belt.

"You tryin' to give this old man a heart attack?!" He snapped. Deadpool ignored him as he looked up the Pokémon.

"Hey Ryan, someday Breeze might become a Tranquill!" He called up. Ryan squealed and hugged his Pidove.

"All right, Jep, use that...Water Pistol move!" Chester commanded. Jet looked back at him, confused, but went for a Water Gun anyway.

"Dodge it, Tranquill!" Trip commanded. Tranquill swerved to the right to avoid the spray of water. "Use Aerial Ace!" Tranquill flew through Jet three times, knocking his scalchop off and knocking him unconscious.

"Jen? Mike's not gonna be happy about this..." Chester muttered.

"Jet's unable to battle! Tranquill's the winner!"

"You see, my Tranquill has the ability Super Luck." Trip explained.

"Dagnabbit, I have that too!" Chester snapped. "Why, back in the war, I found myself surrounded by three men with loaded rifles and fended 'em off with a STICK! What's Super Luck, anyway?"

"It raises a Pokémon's chances of landing a critical hit." Cilan explained.

"Dagnabbit, always gotta hit the weak spots... back in my day, it was a test on strength to see just how many hits to the weak spots a man could take! Real men would have someone hit their weak spots with a baseball bat every day to get stronger! Mike's not doing it right!"

[Good thing he's not the dominant personality...] Ivy muttered. Chester grumbled angrily as he picked up Jet and staggered back to the bleachers.

"Hey, Trip!" Trip looked to see Ian storming over to him. "Leeeet's battle!" He shouted as he got into a very crappy karate stance.

"Hmph. Fine." Trip shrugged. "Tranquill, you ready?" Tranquill nodded.

"Come on, Little Piggy! Let's kick his ASS!" Little Piggy nodded.

[Yessir.]

"BEGIN!"

"All right, Little Piggy! Uuuuse EMBER!" Little Piggy obeyed. Tranquill simply dodged the attack, then flew high above the little pig. "Try again!" Little Piggy tried again twice. Tranquill dodged again.

"Tranquill, use Double Team!" Trip commanded. Tranquill split into five different Tranquill.

[W-wow...] Little Piggy said nervously.

"Don't worry, Tepig! I'm a genius, so I know which ones real!" Ian bragged.

[That Tepig's done.] Ivy said flatly.

[Don't let 'im get you down, bro!] Bubbles called.

"Now use Workout!" Trip commanded. The Tranquill all let out cries and a red aura formed around them.

"Hey, they didn't work out at all!" Ian pointed accusingly. "There was no weights or treadmills or anything!"

"True, Ian, but it DID raise Tranquill's attack power!" Cilan called. "Be careful!" All five Tranquill flew down just above Trip.

"Tranquill, Aerial Ace!" All five Tranquill flew at Little Piggy.

[Um...okay...uh...] Just before Tranquill hit Little Piggy, the Double Teams dissipated and the lone Tranquill hit the fire pig at top speed, flying through him twice and knocking him out.

"Little Piggy is unable to battle. Tranquill is the winner."

"DANG IT!" Ian shouted. "I WANTED TO WIIIIIN!" He started crying. Little Piggy shakily got to his feet and looked down in shame.

[I-I'm sorry...] He said sadly. Ian stopped crying.

"It's okay!" He said, now cheerfully, as he scooped up Little Piggy.

"All right, squirt, you're up against me next!" Popeye shouted as he stomped over to where Trip was. He angrily approached Trip and leaned into his face, causing the trainer to step back uncomfortably. "An' I've gots a little circus act for ya!"

"Ha! A circus act, huh? Well, it'll definitely be hilarious!" Trip laughed. Popeye scowled and sent out Wave. He bent down to his Pokémon's level.

"All right, fella, I gots somethin' for ya." He gave Smasher a can of spinach. Wave looked at it and raised an eyebrow.

[Okay, so that's gonna help?] He asked.

"Eat it. S'good for ya and it'll make ya stronger." Popeye urged.

[Okay, mom.] Wave opened his mouth as Popeye put some spinach inside, then bit down. [...Wow! This...might actually work!]

"Atta boy, Wave!" Popeye chuckled. Trip scoffed.

"A Magikarp? Ha! I knew you were the lowest of the low, but this?"

[I do not like him one bit.] Wave said flatly.

_Meanwhile..._

Team Rocket was waiting...

"It seems we've arrived earlier than planned." James said.

"End of the line, Team Rocket!" Team Rocket turned to see Officer Jenny standing there, a bunch of male police officers popping out from everywhere. "Thanks to Officer Jenny from Striaton City, your arrest warrant puts you on the most wanted list all over the Unova region!"

"My, my." Jessie said. "So many friendly faces here to greet us."

"Quite a warm welcome." James agreed. The duo chuckled.

"Hi guys!"

"Stevie...what the F*CK are you doing here?" Jessie asked, gritting her teeth.

"I wanted to show you my new friend!" Stevie brought out a Pokeball and released his new Scolipede. "This is George!"

[Hey.] Jessie and James looked at each other and got an idea.

_Back at the battle..._

"All right, Wave. Go nuts!" Popeye commanded. Wave leapt towards Tranquill and slammed his tail down onto the birds head, knocking it down. Trip was taken aback.

"Tranquill, Workout!" Tranquill glowed with an aura again. "Now Aerial Ace!" Tranquill flew towards Wave...who simply smacked him to the side with his tail, sending him flying into the gym wall, flattening it like a pancake. Tranquill peeled itself off the wall, then shook his head. Trip was staring in shock.

"T-Tranquill, try another Aerial Ace!" Trip commanded. Tranquill swooped down at Wave...who responded by leaping up and latching onto its back by wrapping his tail around its belly, dragging it back down to the ground. Wave then threw Tranquill into the air, then leapt up after it and knocked it down to the ground with his tail.

"Tranquill!" Trip exclaimed.

"Tranquill is unable to battle! Wave is the winner!"

"That's how ya do it, Wave!" Popeye said with a grin. "Can'tusespinachtoooftenthough,s'notfairtoothertrainers."

"That Magikarp has such potential!" Cilan said in awe. "Perhaps Popeye should train it without spinach..."

_Meanwhile..._

"Team Rocket...I'm putting you under arrest!" Officer Jenny said, pointing at the trio.

"Why?" Stevie asked curiously.

"You stay out of this." Officer Jenny snapped. Jessie turned to Stevie.

"Stevie, would you like to help your f-f-f-f-f-frie-" Jessie gagged. "Acquaintances?"

"Oh boy! What do I have to do?"

"These horrible criminals are trying to take us hostage!" James said.

"Wait, what?" Officer Jenny said.

"Oh no! That's mean!" Stevie exclaimed.

"So we need you and your Scolipede there to help us outta this mess!" Meowth added.

"Okay! George, get 'em!" The police yelped as George rolled over to them, intent on flattening them. Unfortunately, it was George who nearly got flattened when a truck rammed through the gates. Luckily, Stevie was intelligent enough to call him back. The truck swerved, and a man opened the door.

"Get in." He said.

"Who are you?" James asked.

"Just be quiet and get in!" The man snapped.

"You're not getting away! After them, men!" Officer Jenny pointed, and the police ran towards Team Rocket and Stevie. Team Rocket got in the truck. Stevie tried to follow, but James slammed the door in his face.

"F*ck off, Stevie." He said calmly through the open window. Stevie then got trampled by a crowd of policemen, then ran over by Officer Jenny's bike.

"Shoot...I just got my coccyx replaced." Stevie said with a smile.

Officer Jenny drove up next to the truck. "Stop this vehicle at once!" She commanded. "You're resisting arrest!" The truck responded by speeding up. But the bridge was out... Officer Jenny watched as the truck fell off the cliff, and the rockets leapt out and flew away in Jetpacks. She stopped at the very end of the bridge...then promptly got rolled into by a Scolipede. She saw Stevie smiling at her.

"Hi! I was just having George give me a ride to the hospital! It kinda hurts having a broken coccyx! I hope he gets there soon! Being rolled across the ground hurts!"

"STOP! WE'RE GONNA GO OVER THE-" George had rolled over the edge of the bridge, taking Stevie and Officer Jenny with him. They all landed on the truck. Which promptly exploded, sending Stevie and George flying into the air on the left, and Officer Jenny flying into the air on the right.

"Bye officer!" Stevie waved as he and George became a twinkle in the sky.

"F*CK OOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFfffffff..." Officer Jenny called back. The policemen watched all this.

"...Wanna go get some doughnuts?" All the policemen shrugged and left for the nearest café.

So...with Team Rocket...

"The boss said this was for you." The new man said as he held up a suitcase.

"Thanks." James said with a smirk as he took it.

"So you must be the new agent." Meowth said.

"The name's Pierce." The man said with a nod. "And don't forget it!" He added as he flew above them.

"So he's the new team member." Jessie said.

"Impressive." James and Meowth said simultaneously.

"Hi guys!" Stevie waved as he and George flew past them.

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Jessie snapped as they flew high above them.

_Back with the group..._

"Me next!" Ryan demanded.

"Fine. Frillish, go!" Deadpool snatched the Pokedex from Chester and read up on Frillish, causing Chester to ramble about how disrespectful Deadpool was.

"Ready, Breeze?" Ryan asked. Breeze nodded. "Yaay! Use Air Cutter!" Breeze obeyed.

"Protect." Trip said simply. Frillish created a barrier in front of itself, and when the Air Cutter hit it, it shattered, leaving Frillish unharmed. "Now Water Pulse." The ball of water Frillish fired hit Breeze, trapping her inside.

[Aaah! I hate when my wings get wet!] Breeze cried. The water seemed to constrict her before exploding, sending her flying into the wall, where she slowly slid to the ground. Ryan stared into space, never once having lost his excited facial expression. Still looking thrilled and excited, a single tear fell down his face. Then he burst into tears, picked Breeze up and started apologizing profusely as the bird tried to console him weakly.

"That's just sad." Trip said flatly.

"Breeze is unable to battle. Frillish is the winner!"

"Me next!" Krillin snapped as he leapt down, Shaggy in tow.

"Wanna keep going, Frillish?"

[Yes...I wish to cause more suffering.] Frillish nodded. Krillin drew back slightly, disturbed by the manic glint in the Pokémon's eyes.

[Like, I'm not sure I wanna do this, man!] Shaggy whimpered.

"That Frillish certainly is powerful! Its battling style has quite a fresh flavor!" Cilan said.

"I'm worried about Krillin's chances of actually winning." Iris agreed.

"Shaggy, Tackle it!" Krillin commanded. Shaggy did so.

"KRILLIN, NO!" Iris called out.

[BAD IDEA, BRO!] Bubbles agreed.

"Krillin's not winning this." Deadpool said flatly. Shaggy hit Frillish, knocking the Pokémon back.

"Yeah! We're gonna kick ASS!" Krillin exclaimed. "Again, Shaggy! ...Shaggy?" Krillin looked at Shaggy in concern. He was surrounded by a purple aura.

"It's obvious to me you don't know any of the basics at all." Trip said with a smirk. "Especially if you directly attack a Pokémon like Frillish, who has Cursed Body!"

"Come again?" Krillin asked.

"Cursed Body makes it so that if you attack Frillish directly you can't use any moves!" Iris called. "Shaggy can't use Tackle for the rest of the battle, Krillin!"

"Okay...try Sludge Bomb!" Shaggy fired a ball of sludge at Frillish...but Trip simply commanded him to use Protect.

"Now use Night Shade!" Trip commanded. Frillish's eye glowed purple and it sent faint, purple shockwaves at Shaggy.

[Agh! Like, this really hurts my ears, man!] Shaggy whimpered, his antennae drooping.

"C'mon, buddy! Tough it out!" Krillin called.

[Your suffering gives me such joy.] Frillish grinned sadistically.

"Sludge Bomb!" Krillin called. Shaggy fired another ball of gunk.

[Hmm? AGH! You...] Frillish growled.

"Yeah! Now hit him with your antennae! ...Wait, no, no, NO!" But it was too late, as Shaggy had already done the move. Krillin facepalmed, muttering how stupid he was under his breath as Shaggy's eyes widened and the purple aura appeared. Trip commanded Frillish to use Water Pulse, and Shaggy fell to the ground when the water exploded. Shaggy got to his feet, then staggered about dizzily.

"Now Shaggy's confused!" Cilan exclaimed.

"Crap!" Krillin shouted.

"According to plan." Trip said with a smirk. "All right, Frillish, use Hex!" Frillish created a giant purple eye of energy above his head.

"Hex?!" Krillin exclaimed nervously.

"And since Shaggy's confused, Hex is going to cause double the damage." Trip said with a smirk. The eye fired shockwaves at Shaggy, who staggered back and fell to the ground facefirst.

"Shaggy is unable to battle! Frillish is the winner!"

Krillin Owned Count: 21

Trip smirked and walked up to Krillin. "I guess Josh and Popeye were okay. But Mike, Ian, Ryan and Baldy were a complete joke!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE-" Ian was held back from strangling Trip to death by Popeye and Cilan. Trip smirked and turned to leave, but stopped when he heard screaming. Everyone looked around, then Stevie fell through the roof of the building and landed on top of Trip.

"Wow! Hey guys!" Stevie waved. "Where's George?" George landed on top of Stevie and Trip, crushing them both with his weight. "There's George..."

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Krillin snapped as he pulled Stevie out from underneath George and threw him into the wall of the building. George sighed and rolled his eyes at his trainers mistreatment rather than getting angry and attacking Krillin, because...Stevie.

"I wonder what happened to that nice police lady?" Stevie said.

_Meanwhile, in Snowpoint City in the Sinnoh region..._

The camera pans around the mountains surrounding the city, before looking over at a Snowbank, which is revealed to have the Officer Jenny's legs sticking out of it, unmoving for a few seconds before kicking a few times, then the Officer Jenny bursts out. She pants, gasping for breath, then looks angrily at the sky.

"DAMN YOU STEVIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

_Back with the group..._

"I'll be right back, guys." Deadpool said before leaving the room.

"Well, looks like I gotta train SUPER hard now!" Ian said.

"Me too! I'll teach Breeze how to be ninja, wrestler, emo...you name it!" Ryan agreed.

"I've trained myself, let's see what I can teach Shaggy!" Krillin agreed.

Mike gasped. "Huh? What just happened, and why's Stevie here?"

[Mike's back. Yaaaaaay...] Jet cheered weakly.

"JET! What happened?!"

[Chester tried to battle with me...]

"Aw, dang it Chester!"

**A/N: Deadpool looked pretty ticked that I pulled the whole "stuck" thing again. Eh, he can't be TOO mad. If he was, he'd be slamming my head into my keybhsadghjaskjgUKQEGHjskdhgjksehgwuerhgSUIEHFEUGHweUEIHGeuihuiaeghwruighjhaergheruis\gheuwiGHUIwehguweHGuiwehguhgahgash**

**rhjghrghhjrgjkasgbjsdbgjkdafgbkjasgbe\wig;opWRGHLAREHGAUWRGHQEUhjBNJKAFHUJESNZVHCWJHRGDBSVKJEHWG**

**"In case you're wondering what I left for...THIS IS IT!"**


	13. The Timid Pichu

The group was walking again! Wheeeeee! Look at 'em go! ...I have possible brain damage from last chapter, when Deadpool slammed my head into my keyboard. Does this mean I'll stop the whole "stuck" running gag? ...HA! Don't count on it!

"Damn it!" Deadpool shouted.

"Senzu bean!" Krillin threw a Senzu Bean at Deadpool, who glared at him. "Well...you...looked like you had a problem, and..."

"Where the hell was THAT whenever someone got hurt on this adventure?" Deadpool said flatly.

"I forgot..." Krillin admitted.

"More like the AUTHOR forgot. 'Cause he's a dumbass." Deadpool muttered.

"I may never fully understand your mindset, Deadpool." Cilan said, shaking his head with an amused grin.

"No one ever does." Deadpool shrugged.

"Can't say I'm surprised." Josh said playfully. He looked over at Ivy. She was looking into the woods, with a concerned expression on her face. "Uh...Ivy? What's up?"

[Shh. Listen.] The group obeyed and listened closely. They could barely make it out, but it appeared to be small whimpering sounds.

"Huh. How'd ya hear that?" Deadpool asked.

[I don't know...but it concerns me. It sounds like quite a young Pokémon.] Ivy replied.

"Those don't sound like familiar Pokémon calls." Iris said.

"Indeed. That sounds very foreign." Cilan agreed. Then the group jumped slightly as they heard a sharp cry, followed by what sounded like an angry swarm of Pokémon. Ivy gasped, then leapt off Josh's shoulder and towards the direction of the sounds.

"Ivy, wait! WAIT!" Josh called as the group ran after her. "MAN, she's fast!"

"I told you Snivy were a speedy species!" Cilan replied.

_Five minutes beforehand..._

The small Pokémon whimpered as he looked around the forest timidly. It was dark...scary...probably dangerous...but at least he managed to escape that abandoned Victreebel... He let out another whimper as he brushed against a thorn bush, reopening one of the many cuts he had sustained in his short life. It hurt...it hurt so much...he was always hurting, both inside and out. But he wouldn't cry. He was always told not to cry...crying only made things worse for him anyway. He limped towards a berry bush and plucked one of the berries, then timidly began to nibble on it. This simple action felt like he was breaking some kind of rule...

[Well, well. An intruder.] The little Pokémon flinched at the sound of the voice, then turned around to see a large flock of bird-like Pokémon perched in the trees, grinning down at him evilly. Oddly enough, the one who spoke was a Spearow. The Pokémon stepped back timidly.

[I-I'm sorry, I...didn't know this was your home.] He whimpered.

[Yes, but you're still IN our home, aren't you? And for that...well, we'll just have to punish you most severely now, won't we?]

[P-Please! I-I'll do anything! I'll...] He was cut off when the swarm of birds all swooped down on him at once. He let out a sharp cry as he felt their razor-sharp talons raking at his flesh, drawing fresh blood. He felt some of their beaks piercing his skin, his ears felt like they were going to be torn out as the Spearow tugged at them...Remarkably, he was able to fight back tears...

_In Present time..._

Ivy dashed towards the sounds as fast as she could...which was...pretty damn fast. When she reached the source of the noise, she skidded to a stop and stared in shock for a few brief moments, before her facial expression changed to an enraged glare. This Pokémon was clearly EXTREMELY young, looking barely out of toddlerhood considering its very small size, hardly bigger than a Joltik. And here it was, on the verge of death at the talons of these birds. Ivy leapt into the clearing and hit several of the birds with Vine Whip, getting the flock's attention.

[Oh, another intruder?] The Spearow said flatly. [We'll deal with her after this one's dead.] Ivy was now seeing red. So they were TRYING to kill an innocent child?! Not on her watch! Ivy leapt into the air and knocked two of the birds away with Leaf Blade, causing them to crash into a tree. The rest of the flock glared at Ivy. [This one's more dangerous. Take care of her first!] The flock flew at her. Ivy responded by using Attract, causing all of them to immediately fall in love with her, because Braviary are an all-male species, aren't they? [I forgot, and I don't wanna check. Haha!] Like she would actually want to be with any of these child-murdering monsters... she instead opted to focus all her energy into using the most powerful Leaf Storm she had ever used in her life. These leaves sliced through the birds like butter, leaving many of them to retreat. Only the Spearow remained. He fell to the ground, unconscious... Ivy panted and scowled at the fallen Spearow.

[He's not important right now...] She muttered to herself, to prevent herself from breaking the monster's neck. She instead ran to the small Pokémon's side. He was curled up in a ball, trembling. Oddly enough, despite his clear youth, she could see no trace of tears in his eyes. She shook that thought away for the time being and gingerly placed a hand on his head. [Are you alright, little guy?] He flinched at the touch, and turned to limp away as fast as he could...but he didn't get very far. Ivy had reached out and grabbed him with her vines. She frowned as he thrashed and panicked, trying to get away.

[NO! PLEASE, NOT THE VINES! PLEASE!] Ivy was taken aback at this. He seemed absolutely TERRIFIED of her vines, and was showing rather impressive strength while trying to escape, considering he was bleeding rather heavily. She brought him closer to her, then gently placed him on the ground and retracted her vines.

[Okay, okay. See? The vines are gone now. I'm not going to hurt you. Please calm down.] Ivy said gently as she approached. He scooted back against a tree, then whimpered as Ivy got closer. She bent down to his level and gingerly placed a hand on his shoulder as a form of comfort. This only caused him to flinch even more. Ivy frowned. Then sighed. Looks like there was only one other way she could think of that could console the poor thing...she gingerly scooped him up into her arms, thankful that he was so small. She looked at him sympathetically as he thrashed and screamed in her grip, trying to escape. She really hoped the others didn't see this...she closed her eyes and held the small Pokémon close to her chest. At first, he continued thrashing, trying to escape her grip. But slowly, gradually, he managed to calm down. When he saw that he wasn't being injured, he blinked. Then he looked up at the grass snake holding him with wide eyes. She smiled at him, seeing that he had calmed down. [There. Didn't I tell you I wasn't going to hurt you? I'm not one for lying.] The little Pokémon decided he was enjoying this display of affection, and let a small smile, the first sign of happiness he'd shown in a long time, come across his face as he snuggled up closer.

[Th-thank you for saving me, Miss Snivy...] He whispered.

[Well, it's Ivy, actually.] Ivy corrected with a smile. The little Pokémon gasped in horror, increasing her concern.

[I-I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOUR NAME WRONG! DON'T HURT ME! PLEASE!]

[Shhhhhhhhhhh.] Ivy said in an attempt to calm him down. To her surprise, it worked. [Don't worry about it. It was an honest mistake. Few people do name their Pokémon. It's understandable how you made that mistake.] She began stroking his back lightly as she said this.

[O-Okay...] The little Pokémon said as he snuggled back into the warmth of her chest. [Th-Thank you, Miss Ivy...] Ivy smiled down at him.

[You're welcome. ...So...is your mother or trainer around?] She blinked as she felt him flinching at the question, then looked down at him sadly when she saw the upset expression on his face. [...I see...] She said sympathetically. She quietly stood there hugging him for a few more seconds...

"Awwwwww, that's soooo cuuuute!" Ivy flinched, then turned to see Josh and Iris watching her from the bushes. Iris was currently gushing over how adorable the whole thing was, while Josh was simply smiling at her.

[So much for keeping this secret...] She muttered, not letting go of the little Pokémon.

"Guys, come here! This is adorable!" Iris called out. The others showed up immediately afterwards. Emile took one look at the scene in front of him, gasped and squealed.

"That is the cutest thing ever!" He gushed. "An-Hey, is that a Spearow?"

"And a Pichu!" Cilan added. "What are a Spearow and a Pichu doing here in Unova?!"

[Somebody catch that Spearow. Best have it under surveillance so it doesn't try to murder any more innocent children.] Ivy spat.

[Geez, as much as we Spearow and Fearow hate it when others invade our turf, we at least don't attack the children, and we don't normally kill anyone unless they're REALLY dangerous! What's this guy's beef?!] Streak exclaimed.

"Here. I'll take him." Emile offered. He tossed a Pokeball at the unconscious Spearow, and it was caught. Cilan approached Ivy and the Pichu.

"Oh my goodness! This Pichu is bleeding quite heavily! And its so skinny! Like it's barely been eating enough to keep it alive!" He exclaimed. Ivy looked down at the Pichu, who by this time had fallen asleep in her arms, adorably sucking his paw, and saw just how skinny he really was.

"So it ain't right for the little fella to be that skinny?" Popeye asked.

"No. In fact, it's quite unhealthy! We MUST get him some food, fast!"

"Um...correct me if I am not right on this, but...shouldn't we take care of the MASSIVE GAPING WOUNDS first?" Achmed asked.

"Krillin? Senzu bean." Deadpool said.

"Senzu bean?"

"Senzu bean."

"SENZU BEAN!" Krillin shouted as he tossed a Senzu Bean at Ivy, who caught it with a vine.

[Um...how is this going to heal his wounds?] She asked.

"Oh, it completely restores the body to its natural state!" Krillin replied. "As...long as you don't have a hole in your asophagus or otherwise unable to eat..."

[Hmm...well, it's worth a try I guess...] Ivy said before gently setting the Pichu down and gently shaking him awake.

[Hmm? M-miss Ivy?] He asked timidly.

[Hey, little guy.] Ivy smiled down at him. [I just need you to eat this, then you can sleep until dinner. Okay?]

[O-Okay...] The Pichu nodded before accepting the bean. After eating it, he watched in amazement as his wounds closed up and his limp went away. He stood up, then sighed with relief. [Um..Miss Ivy...is it all right if I...]

[Yes, of course.] Ivy nodded with a smile. [I DID say it was okay, didn't I?]

[Y-You're not going to leave me...are you?] He asked shyly.

[Of course not.] Ivy replied with a sad smile. Pichu smiled, then curled up in a ball on the ground and started sleeping soundly. Everyone smiled down at him.

"So what do we do with the little mouse Pokémon?" Achmed asked.

"Well, I thought it was obvious!" Cilan exclaimed. "He needs to eat! Right away!"

[Yawn...mommy, what's that?] Axew asked curiously.

"Now don't wake him, Axew." Iris told her Pokémon with a smile. "That's a Pichu. He looks like he's a little bit younger than you..."

[Yay! Someone to play with!] Axew whispered excitedly. [Is anyone gonna catch him?]

"Josh will probably take him, since he likes Ivy!" Tristan said reasonably. There was a brief silence.

"...Did you just say something smart?" Ryan asked.

"The Xbox 360 is my favorite Nintendo console!" Tristan replied.

"Mine too!" Ian said happily.

"Enough with the idle conversation! This Pichu requires nourishment! Josh, you carry him back to camp!" Cilan ordered.

"Aye aye, sir!" Josh saluted. He gently scooped up the Pichu in his arms, being careful not to wake him, and Ivy climbed onto his shoulder and smiled at the Pichu's sleeping form, still sucking on his paw. Popeye chuckled.

"Cute little fella, ain't he?"

"Sure is." Mike agreed. And so, the group had gotten back to camp. While Cilan prepared to cook dinner, Josh turned to Ivy.

"Okay, we need to wash that blood off of you." He said flatly.

[Oh? Hmm. I hadn't noticed it was there.] She replied, following Josh down to the river. Cilan looked over at the Pichu and frowned.

"Guys, this Pichu seems abnormally small." He said.

"You mean they're usually bigger than this?" Mike asked.

"Not by TOO much, but yes." Cilan nodded. Then they all looked down as the Pichu began flinching, squirming and whimpering in his sleep.

"Must be having a nightmare!" Krillin exclaimed.

"Yes, and a pretty damn horrible one, too!" Achmed agreed. "Worse than the ones I have about Walter and his wife!"

_Pichu's nightmare...is a secret! Haha!_

Pichu shot awake with a start. He sighed in relief that the dream was over, then gasped as he realized there were tears in his eyes. In a brief moment of panic, he wiped them away and looked around to make sure no one had seen them. No one seemed to, so he sighed in relief. He sniffed the air. Something smelled good...he followed the smell, and found the green-haired man from earlier cooking something. Cilan turned to Pichu's direction, causing him to flinch slightly and draw back. Cilan smiled, easing the tension somewhat.

"Why hello there, Pichu. I was just preparing dinner. I'm sure you're VERY hungry." Pichu nodded timidly. "Well, I'll be sure to make plenty so there's more than enough to go around!"

"Hi!" Everyone groaned as Stevie approached. Then Stevie noticed Pichu. "Awwww, he's SOOOO CUUUUUTE!" He exclaimed as he picked Pichu up. Pichu panicked when Stevie picked him up, and began thrashing and screaming for Ivy.

""F*CK OFF, STEVIE! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE SCARING HIM?!" Cilan exclaimed before stabbing Stevie in the chest with a fork.

"Aw, I just wanted to hold him!" Stevie exclaimed. Unfortunately for him, Ivy had heard Pichu calling for her and was now dashing back to camp, Josh close behind.

[F*CK OFF, STEVIE!] Ivy yelled as she repeatedly whipped him in the back. Unfortunately, Pichu had seen the vines and was now having another nervous breakdown. Ivy noticed this and stopped whipping Stevie. Stevie let go of Pichu, and he started to run away in a panic. Ivy called after him.

[Pichu, wait! It's okay!] Pichu was stopped from running by a giant hand. He struggled to escape from the hand, but its owner wouldn't let go.

[Whoa there, little bro! Chill, okay?] Bubbles said. Ivy ran up to Bubbles.

[Here. Give him to me.] She requested.

[You got it, bra.] Bubbles replied with a nod as he handed her the small mouse. Ivy immediately accepted him into her arms and embraced him. Pichu struggled for a couple seconds before realizing who was holding him and relaxing.

[There. See? Everything is okay. The scary man is gone now.] And at the top of the hill, everybody else and their Pokémon were beating the absolute crap out of Stevie. Even a few random people who were just passing by got in on the act.

[I-I'm sorry, Miss Ivy...]

[It's all right. You were just scared.] Ivy replied with a smile. Josh approached the two, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Okay, so now that Stevie's in a coma, dinner's almost ready." Josh informed them.

"THE COMA WILL ONLY LAST TILL NEXT CHAPTER THOUGH!" Deadpool called. Ivy nodded, then went back to consoling Pichu. Unfortunately, Pichu was in for another scare, as Emile had decided to bring out his new Spearow. When Emile had his back turned, the Spearow had noticed Ivy and Pichu, and flew over with a scowl. Pichu saw him first, squeaked with fright, and buried his face into Ivy's chest. Ivy looked surprised at this, then turned around and scowled at the Spearow.

[You know, I don't believe I finished mauling that little brat yet.] He said with a smirk. Ivy would have facepalmed at the Spearow's stupidity if she hadn't been enraged beyond your wildest comprehension the second he finished that sentence. [Hey! What're you-] Ivy had noticed Pichu couldn't see what she was doing due to him having his face buried in her chest, so she wrapped a vine around the Spearow, brought him down to eye level, and shot him a glare so terrifying, that somewhere in the same world, Ghost Rider shuddered.

[You listen to me, and you listen to me well. If you lay so much as a wing on him, so help me, I will beat you in another battle. And this time...I WILL finish you off!] The Spearow gulped. [Am I understood?] The Spearow nodded. [Good. Now get your ass back over to Emile before you get a Leaf Blade to the throat.] The Spearow flew back over to Emile at light speed.

[Is...is he gone?] Pichu asked.

[Yes. It's okay, you can look now.] Ivy replied.

_At dinner..._

Pichu looked down at his food nervously. He looked up at everyone else as they ate. He timidly tried some of the food he was given. It was delicious! But...he wasn't sure if he was allowed to eat all of it. He ate a few tiny portions of the food, then stopped for a few moments, debating on whether or not he should continue. Ivy looked over at him and frowned.

[Well? Come on, eat.] She encouraged.

[A-All of it?] He asked timidly.

[Like, yeah, man! Why would ya only eat half of it?] Shaggy replied.

[Go for it, sport!] Streak replied with a nod. Pichu timidly looked down at his food, then continued eating. He looked at everyone else's reactions. Everyone smiled. Well, except for Emile's Spearow...he was now terrified to even look at him, lest he incur Ivy's wrath. Pichu smiled slightly as well and continued to eat.

_Just before bed..._

"Hey, Pichu?" Pichu turned to Josh nervously.

[Y-yes?] He asked.

"You seem to like Ivy, huh?" Pichu nodded.

[Y-yes..she's very nice...]

"Well...how'd you like to join Team Joshie?!" Josh exclaimed excitedly, the volume of which made Pichu flinch and Ivy facepalm at Josh's loudness. "Uh...sorry. If you become my Pokémon, you'll get to be around Ivy here all the time!" Pichu perked up at that.

[Oh! ...Okay. Yeah.] Pichu nodded, trying to hide his ecstatic feelings for fear of being punished. Ivy smiled.

"All right, then you'll just have to go in this Pokeball for juuuuust a second." Pichu flinched at the word Pokeball...but he reluctantly accepted anyway. As soon as he was in the Pokeball he was worried he'd never come out. This fear was disconfirmed as he was almost immediately let out of his Pokeball. He blinked twice...then smiled as he hugged Josh's foot.

[Thank you, mister Josh.] He said happily.

"MISTER Josh. Huh. Well, it SHOULD be Mister Nichols, but...eh. Okay, you're gonna need a nickname. How about...Lightning?"

[Cool!] Lightning exclaimed excitedly. Then he covered his mouth nervously before apologizing.

"Uh...no worries." Josh replied with a shrug.

[Welcome to the team, little guy.] Ivy said with a smile. But on the inside, she was concerned. [_Just how bad WAS his life before I found him?]_ And so, when they all went to sleep that night, Pichu made sure to find a spot close to Ivy. Her presence put him at ease. Maybe she could keep the nightmares at bay...

"Quite different from earlier chapters, author." Deadpool said before he fell asleep.


	14. A Home for Dwebble

The group was having lunch by the river. ...Riveting, amirite?

"Now...if I take some of my homemade potato salad and add some freshly cracked pepper...ha! Perfectly seasoned and spicy! Next we spread it on homemade bread! And add some fruit slices...it's the spiciness of the pepper and the tanginess of the fruit..."

"This has been...THE CILAN COOKING SHOW! LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE, EVERYBODY!" Deadpool exclaimed as he took a sandwich.

"Me? With a cooking show? Well, that doesn't sound like a bad lifestyle at all!" Cilan exclaimed.

"Mmm! It'd be a real hit, too! This is delicious!" Emile added.

"I WOULD have one, but...you know." Achmed said.

"Don't you guys want me to cut those?" Cilan asked as everyone had a sandwich.

"What do you think we are, five year olds?!" Krillin exclaimed.

[Yeah, Cilan, we're capable of eating full sandwiches.] Ivy agreed as she cut Axew and Lightning's sandwich for them, despite the fact that Cilan couldn't understand her.

"Mmm, I have to say, Cilan...this is the best sandwich I've EVER had!" Iris said.

"Why, thank you!" Cilan said happily.

[Like, Cilan...I think I love you!] Shaggy exclaimed as he dashed towards Cilan and wrapped his antennae around his legs.

"Hey! What about me?!" Krillin exclaimed.

"Don't take it personally, Krillin. Shaggy just enjoys my cooking!" Cilan assured.

[Yummy!] Axew exclaimed as he took a bite out of a piece of his sandwich.

"Aw, you enjoying it too, Axew?" Iris said, stroking Axew's head.

[I sure am, mommy!]

[Th-thank you, Mr. Cilan...] Lightning agreed softly.

"I'm glad you're all enjoying it!" Cilan exclaimed.

[Huh? What's that?] Axew before leaving the group.

"Huh? Axew, what's the matter?!" Iris exclaimed before following her little dragon. Axew peeked around a rock...before being pulled back by Ivy.

[You shouldn't run off like that.] She scolded.

[But I saw something!] Axew protested.

[Oh, really? Well, let's just see what this "something" is.] Ivy and Axew peeked around the rock and saw what appeared to be another rock. They then saw a crab-like Pokémon approaching the rock.

[Hmm...could this be what I'm looking for?] He asked as he tapped the rock.

[What in the heck is that thing?] Streak whispered as he flew up to join them, along with everyone else.

"It's a lobster!" Tristan exclaimed. "Cilan, get the pot ready!"

"Actually, Tristan, it's a Dwebble! Quite strange to see one without a rock on its back..."

"So it's kind of like a hermit crab..." Mike muttered as he brought out the Pokedex. "Huh."

"So it must be trying to dig into that rock!" Iris said.

"If that's the case, what luck! We're about to witness a rare occurrence!"

"Trust me, you'll be seeing a LOT of those." Deadpool said as he patted Cilan on the back. The Dwebble flipped the rock over and started digging at it with his claws.

"Wow! Cilan was right!" Ian exclaimed loudly as he was about to leap out into the clearing where the Dwebble was before he was pulled back by Popeye.

"Hey, keep it down! If it sees us, we'll scare the little fella away!" He chastised.

"Sorry!" Ian pouted.

"If it successfully digs into that rock, it will become its home!" Cilan explained.

"EXACTLY like a hermit crab!" Mike said.

[The heck's a hermit crab?] Jet asked. And the Dwebble kept on digging.

_Best Wishes theme_

The Dwebble began spitting something into the rock.

"Eeeeewwwww! It's getting spit in its new house!" Ryan groaned in disgust.

[MOST repulsive!] Bulbapedia agreed.

"Actually, says here in the Pokedex that Dwebble does that so it can dig into the rock easier." Mike corrected.

"Ooohhh, I DIG." Everyone groaned at the pun.

[Haha...good one...] Lightning laughed weakly.

[You don't have to lie, little guy.] Ivy told him with a smile.

[Okay...good...] Lightning sighed with relief. The Dwebble continued his digging.

[Wow! Cool!] Axew exclaimed.

"That's amazing!" Emile agreed.

[Indeed! Quite an intriguing moment for us to observe!] Bulbapedia agreed. Dwebble was now starting to make a dent in the rock.

"Looks like its getting quite a workout there!" Krillin exclaimed.

"You see, Krillin, since the rock is meant to protect Dwebble from attackers, they have to make sure to do a really good job." Cilan exclaimed.

[Hmm...okay.] The Dwebble nodded.

"Looks like it's all done!" Cilan exclaimed excitedly. Dwebble went inside the hollowed out rock, then came back out and looked inside.

"What's wrong with it?" Emile asked.

"Probably not satisfied just yet." Cilan explained. The Dwebble went back inside the rock, then tried to lift it onto its back.

"Oh, here it comes!" Josh said, leaning in closer.

"Looks like a perfect fit to me!" Emile agreed.

[Quite so!] Bulbapedia nodded.

"And THAT'S what a normal Dwebble looks like!" Cilan concluded as the Dwebble finished getting the rock on his back.

"Awww, it's so CUUUUUTE!" Iris exclaimed.

"Hey, why didn't you ever gush over how cute Lightning here is?" Josh asked as he patted the Pichu's head.

"Well, I didn't want to scare him. He's so shy and sensitive." Iris explained.

"Hey, what the hell is the ground shaking for?! Is it an earthquake?! Are we going to die?! *GASP!* Maybe I'll finally get my seventy two virgins! ...Oh, just more Dwebble..."

[Uh...hey, guys...] Dwebble said nervously.

"I'll bet you they're the best of friends!" Ian said confidently. Then one of the Dwebble attacked the smaller one. "The BEST!"

"Ian, that poor thing's clearly being bullied!" Iris exclaimed.

"Isn't that what friendship is about?" Ryan threw a rock at Ian's head. Two of the larger Dwebble went to hit the small one with their claws...but he ducked into his rock, and the attacks had no effect.

"Why are those big lobsters attacking the little lobster?!" Tristan asked, confused, because...it's Tristan, guys, he's dumber than Ian.

"I imagine they're doing it for sh*ts and giggles." Deadpool responded with a shrug.

"Well, I can understand the giggles, but why would they want sh*ts? Are they constipated?" Deadpool facepalmed at Tristan's stupidity. The small Dwebble came out of its rock and tried to counterattack his larger attackers...who responded by hiding in their rocks. Then the largest of the three leapt up at the small Dwebble, shell first, and tackled him into the air. The small Dwebble hit the ground, causing his new rock to fall off. The large Dwebble towered over the small one with a smirk.

[I'll take this, thank you very much.] He said as he took the small Dwebble's shell and put it on his own back. The two smaller Dwebble then stuck it in place with their...magic saliva.

[Not again...] The small Dwebble said sadly.

"Aw geez, it's a crowd of bullies! What is this, Pokémon High School?!" Josh exclaimed.

[I...I don't like bullies.] Lightning said, uncharacteristically angry over this.

"I know! They could have at least signed an eviction notice instead of just taking it!" Ian agreed. Ryan threw another rock at him.

"Three against one just ain't fair!" Popeye said with a scowl.

[I WOULD agree, but...guess I can't really talk 'cause of my past.] Streak chuckled. Popeye stormed over to where the three Dwebble were picking on the smaller one.

"Hey, ya big palookas! I oughta break those rocks of yours into bits!"

[Heh. See ya later, runt.] The largest Dwebble said before all three burrowed away.

[Grrr...I'll get it back!] The small Dwebble declared before burrowing after them.

"Atta boy, little fella!" Popeye encouraged. "Get your house back!"

"All right, Pansage! Come on out!" Cilan called.

[Ah, what a wonderful day!] Pansage exclaimed.

"Pansage, use Dig and help Dwebble retrieve his home!" Cilan commanded.

[Of course!] Pansage said with a salute before doing it. So, the group stood there waiting for a while. While they waited, they tapped their feet on the ground impatiently before finding ways to pass the time. Josh began reading a book, Ivy reading over his shoulder. Ian, Emile, Tristan and Deadpool started playing Super Smash Bros Brawl. Krillin and Ryan were sparring, and Ryan was winning. Mike, Iris and Cilan were having tea. Achmed was playing around with his arm. And Popeye was trying to get Swee'pea to say "papa", but only got gurgles, which made him chuckle. Then, they noticed Pansage come out of the ground and stopped their activities.

"What happened, Pansage?" Cilan asked.

[Well, perhaps you should ask him!] Pansage suggested. Then an exhausted Dwebble burst out of the ground.

"Well, we got the little guy, but it looks like they couldn't get the rock back." Emile said. Cilan approached the Dwebble.

"We saw everything! Sorry about your house." He said sympathetically.

[AAAAHH!] The Dwebble screamed. Cilan looked surprised as it ran away.

[Just like you, little guy.] Ivy said as she patted Lightning on the head.

[Wh-where's he going?] Lightning asked.

"CATCH THE DWEBBLE!" Deadpool exclaimed, prompting everyone to run after it. They couldn't catch up...until Iris began leaping from the rocks and landed well ahead of the Dwebble, cutting off its escape route.

"Come on, you don't have to be afraid of us!" She assured as she bent down to its level. The Dwebble responded by screaming and running in the opposite direction, where he was cut off by the others.

"Calm down, little buddy!" Mike said, hands raised as a sign of peace.

"Yeah, we come in peace!" Josh agreed.

"We're not here to hurt you." Cilan added.

[Stay away...] Dwebble warned.

[Don't worry, these guys are really ni-AAAH!] Little Piggy leapt to the side as Dwebble tried to hit him with its claw. It shattered a rock, sending the debris flying. One of the smaller rocks flew towards Pansage.

[Oh deeeear!] Pansage exclaimed just before the rock hit him on the forehead.

"Oh no, Pansage!" Cilan shouted in alarm.

[Oh no...] Dwebble said, feeling somewhat guilty. Cilan ran to his Pokémon.

"Pansage! Are you alright?!"

[FINLAND!] Pansage exclaimed before passing out. The Dwebble approached, looking horrified.

[I-I'm so sorry...] Cut to Cilan spraying the bruise just above Pansage's left eye with a potion. [Is...he gonna be okay?]

"It doesn't look very serious..." Josh said, inspecting the bruise.

"Yeah." Cilan said, relieved.

[I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it!] Dwebble apologized.

[Don't worry, I'm fine!] Pansage assured.

"Don't worry, we know ya didn't MEAN to bean Pansage on the head with a rock!" Josh assured.

"Right! You were just upset about having your home stolen!" Cilan agreed.

[Huh? ...My house...] Dwebble looked down sadly.

"Perhaps the little rock crab could just make a new home!" Achmed suggested.

[No! I don't want another home!] Dwebble said, shaking his head.

"You just want THAT home back, don't you?" Iris asked. Dwebble nodded.

"Well, he DID work pretty hard on it." Emile reasoned.

"Ya really like it, don't ya squirt?" Popeye asked.

[I really do.] Dwebble replied.

"It obviously means the world to Dwebble." Cilan agreed.

"Yeah! You can't give up and walk away! That goes against everything my show tells you!" Tristan agreed. "We'll help you get it back! Then you can be happy again!"

[My bro Tristan's got the right idea!] Bubbles exclaimed, clapping a hand on Tristan's shoulder.

[No! I can do it myself!] Dwebble protested before burrowing underground.

"But...I WANTED to help." Tristan said sadly.

"No matter." Cilan said. Everyone turned to him. "I say...let's find those thieves!" Everyone nodded.

_Meanwhile..._

A man in a black cloak was waiting outside a tunnel, when three familiar figures appeared near him. The man turned to Jessie, who nodded. They entered the tunnel.

"Where are we?" Jessie asked.

"We're in an abandoned subway tunnel." Pierce replied. "The perfect location..."

"True...we can exchange vital information without being overheard." James agreed.

"Yes." Pierce nodded. "Let's get right to it. The boss has informed me that your next mission is to cover data concerning the meteorite."

"The meteor mevel." Meowth clarified. [Seriously, what the hell did he say?] Pierce nodded.

"The data is the key to Team Rocket's newest and most important project." He explained. "Take a look." He held up his hand and a device around his index finger showed a holographic map.

"What's that?" All three rockets asked at the same time.

"It's called the Antimony Research Lab, where every bit of data regarding the meteorite research is stored." Pierce explained.

"An' you want us to get in there." Meowth clarified.

"Precisely." Pierce nodded. "Your mission is to break into the Antimony Research Lab and hack their computer server so you can obtain the data."

"All right." Jessie nodded. "Sounds like it should be a fun time as well."

"Then we'll just have to see how good you are." Pierce chuckled.

"Hi guys!"

"STEVIE, HOW THE F*CK DO YOU KEEP FINDING US?!" Jessie snapped.

"I dunno!" Stevie shrugged. "Wanna hang out?"

"F*CK OFF, STEVIE!" Pierce shouted as he shoved Stevie onto the railways, where he was promptly ran over by a subway. The four rockets stared in shock.

"I thought you said this subway system was abandoned!" James exclaimed.

"...It is." Pierce said, scratching his head.

_Back with the heroes..._

[I'm not seeing anything, Ryan!] Breeze called down.

[Me neither, boss!] Streak added.

"C'mon, Khold, PLEASE work with me here!" Emile pleaded with his newly-named Spearow.

[Hmph! How about you release me, insignificant worm?!] Khold snapped.

"No! Now get up there and help us look for Dwebble!" Emile snapped.

[Never! Never again will I bend for any ungrateful human!] Khold snapped.

"AGAIN? You've had a trainer before?" Emile asked. Khold simply turned away with a snort. Pansage popped out of the ground.

[No luck.] Pansage said, shaking his head.

"Son of a pickle!" Emile exclaimed in exasperation. "...Did I really just say that?"

"Where could they have gone?" Iris questioned.

[Hey, mommy, what's that?] Axew asked. Everyone turned as the small Dwebble came out of the ground.

[I...I can't find them...] He said sadly.

"Hmm..." Cilan said. "...It's late. Why don't we have a nice dinner?"

[Like, NOW you're speakin' my language, man!] Shaggy exclaimed happily.

"Care to join us, Dwebble?" Cilan offered.

[Yes, we would be honored to have your company!] Pansage agreed.

[You...want me to stay?] Dwebble asked, tilting its head. And so, they were all eating their dinner, a campfire in their midst.

"So, whattya think, Dwebble?" Mike asked. "Cilan makes some good food, doesn't he?"

[Yeah he does!] Dwebble exclaimed happily. Pansage was eating his food rather slowly.

[Cilan...I feel unwell...] Pansage said before falling on his back.

[Huh?!] Dwebble exclaimed in concern.

"Pansage, what's wrong?!" Cilan exclaimed as he dashed towards his Pokémon and scooped him up in his arms. He put a hand to Pansage's forehead. "You're burning up!"

"Do you think its from when he got hit with that rock?" Ian asked.

"Since when do rocks make you sick exactly?" Josh asked. But Dwebble was looking up at them, feeling guilty. He looked down sadly.

"I'm afraid I don't have any more potion." Cilan said.

"You just leave it to me." Iris offered. Everyone turned to look at her. "I know every herbal remedy there is! And we saw some herbs out here that reduce fever, didn't we Axew?"

[Yeah! Mommy taught me all about it!] Axew agreed.

"Why don't I just give him a Senzu Bean?" Krillin asked.

"Well, Lightning was pretty badly hurt when Ivy found him..." Lightning shuddered at the memory, and Ivy put a hand on his shoulder. "And the Senzu Bean healed him right up! We'd better save those in case we run into another situation like that."

[Mommy, lets get the herbs!] Axew said excitedly before running in the direction they had seen the herbs earlier.

"Wait for me, Axew!" Iris said with a giggle before running after her little dragon. After they had gotten what they needed, Iris was mixing up the herbs in a teacup. "All done." She went to Cilan and Pansage, then held the teaspoon of herbs to the grass monkey. "Here, Pansage. Open up."

[Aaaaaaaaah...] Pansage said as he obeyed.

"That's it!" Iris encouraged. "This should make you better." Pansage groaned, then fell asleep. "He should feel much better after he wakes up." Iris assured.

"Thanks so much, Iris." Cilan said with a smile.

"Wow, impressive!" Josh exclaimed.

"Of course, what did you expect?" Iris replied playfully.

[Mommy can do anything!] Axew added.

"Do you think you could teach me about herbs? They look kind of interesting." Josh asked.

"Sure! C'mon, I'll tell you all about it!"

"All ri-WHOA!" Josh was cut off as Iris grabbed his hand and dragged him off. Meanwhile, Dwebble was looking up at Pansage in Cilan's arms.

[It's all my fault...] He groaned.

_Insert Who's That Pokémon here..._

The group was asleep. Yaaaay! Cilan rolled over in his sleep and saw Dwebble sadly watching Pansage sleep.

"Are you worried?" Dwebble turned at the sound of Cilan's voice. "Everything's alright. Pansage took the medicine that Iris made. By tomorrow it'll be fine."

[Yes, but...]

"Now stop your worrying." Cilan assured. Dwebble looked up at Cilan. "You get some sleep. You need your rest so you can get your home back tomorrow, right?" Dwebble turned as Pansage rolled over in his sleep, then put the blanket back over him, then curled up right there and went to sleep.

_Meanwhile..._

Team Rocket was sneaking around. Jessie turned to James.

"We're all set." She said.

"Right." James nodded. Jessie tossed a rope up to the roof, then gave it a few tugs just as Meowth finished climbing the building. He turned to see Jessie and James had gotten to the top as well. They slid their goggles over their eyes, then looked around. The goggles zoomed in on a door covered in laser security.

"Just look at all those sensors." Jessie said.

"Trip just one of those, it will set off the alarm." James agreed.

"That's tight security." Meowth added.

"Which goes to show you how valuable the data they're protecting is." Jessie said before leaping off the wall and landing perfectly. Cut to a montage of the trio sneaking past the laser security. They then found themselves in a large room, standing over a computer...table...thing. "Looks like this is packed with sensors too." Jessie acknowledged.

"Let's give 'em a little surprise!" Meowth said with a smirk.

"Right." James agreed. He held up a device. "Here goes." He released it, and it flew around the lasers, then landed perfectly on the thing, allowing the rockets access to the computer. "Excellent!"

"Connection?" Jessie asked.

"I'm on it." Meowth replied with a nod.

"Password protected, as suspected." James said with a smirk. He chuckled. "Not a problem." And so, they got the information they needed. Unfortunately, someone else was in there as well.

"Guys, you in here?"

"How'd STEVIE get in here?!" Meowth hissed.

"He's going to ruin everything!" James agreed.

"Don't worry. We've already got what we need." Jessie said with a smirk. So, the trio left.

"Huh. Guess they're not here." Stevie shrugged, then walked forward, setting off the alarm system. He was immediately pounced by security guards.

_Back with the heroes..._

[Oh, glorious day!] Pansage exclaimed. [I feel like a bun, fresh out of the oven!]

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Pansage!" Iris said.

[I am in your debt!] Pansage replied.

"It's all thanks to your herbal remedy, Iris!" Cilan said.

"Your medicine is better than the stuff my mom used to give me!" Tristan added. "I think it was called cyanide...I NEVER took it."

[I'm so sorry, Pansage!] Dwebble apologized.

[Good to have ya back, buddy!] Jet exclaimed.

[Like, I hope ya don't mind that I finished your dinner last night!] Shaggy exclaimed.

[Ah, truly a relief to have you back, friend!] Bulbapedia agreed.

[...I'm glad you're not dead.] Ivy said with a playful smile.

[Good job getting better, Mr. Pansage...] Lightning agreed.

[Yes, glad you're alright!] Breeze said.

[What they said.] Little Piggy added.

[Good to have ya back, bro!] Bubbles exclaimed.

[Yaaay! Panny's better!] Pinkie exclaimed.

[Glad ya got better, pal.] Streak said with a smirk.

Swee'pea babbled.

[Hmph.] Khold turned his back on the scene.

[Yaaaay! Pansage is okay!] Axew cheered.

"Hey, you guys. The whole "one reaction at a time" thing? Yeah, that's our schtick. There's too many of ya for it to work properly." Deadpool said.

"Dwebble was up all night watching over you, Pansage." Cilan said.

[Why, thank you for your concern, Dwebble!] Pansage said.

[You're welcome!] Dwebble replied happily.

"All right then, Dwebble! Let's go get your home back!" Cilan exclaimed.

[I can't wait!] Dwebble agreed. They found the three other Dwebble, by the way.

"There ya are, ya good for nothin' robbers!" Popeye exclaimed.

"Excellent work finding them, Pansage!" Cilan praised his Pokémon.

[So, the little runt came back for more, huh?] The largest Dwebble said with a smirk. [Ha! Like we're gonna waste our time with a little loser like you!] The trio turned and ran.

[Come back you big meanies!] Lightning exclaimed angrily before chasing after the Dwebble.

[Lightning, wait!] Ivy called, running after the Pichu. Lightning continued chasing after the Dwebble, but didn't see them.

[Aw...they got away...] Two of the rocks behind him lifted, and the two Dwebble snickered. [Hmm?] Lightning turned to see what he thought were just rocks. [Where'd they go?] He turned back and began to walk away, but the two Dwebble came out of their shells and laughed, prompting Lightning to turn around and see them. [I FOUND THEM!] He exclaimed excitedly...before realizing just what he had done out of his need to help others that were being bullied. [U-um...] The largest Dwebble came out of his rock, then smirked as he approached the small Pokémon, who shrunk back timidly.

[Aww, the little baby wants to help his baby friend.] The Dwebble said with a smirk. [Well, guess what? We've got the type advantage here, brat!] Lightning shrunk down, trying to make himself appear as small as possible, then closed his eyes in anticipation of an attack. What happened instead was he heard the Dwebble let out a cry of pain. He saw a pair of vines, then flinched, but then turned to see who the vines belonged to.

[Miss Ivy!] He exclaimed with relief as he ran back to the Snivy and his behind her.

[Good job finding these thieves, kiddo.] Ivy said with a gentle smile. [Just...try not to run off like that again, okay?]

[Y-Yes, ma'am.] Lightning nodded.

"Way to go, little buddy! Ya found 'em!" The Dwebble turned at the sound of Josh's voice. "All right, give that house back, or you, my friends, are in for a WORLD of hurt!" Dwebble rushed forward to reclaim what was rightfully his. The two smaller bully Dwebble rushed at the small Dwebble and leapt into the air after him. Dwebble dodged the first one, but the second one landed a direct hit, knocking him back, where he hit the ground and ended up stuck headfirst.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Deadpool stopped yelling, then took a deep breath and pulled Dwebble out of the ground.

"We can't leave Dwebble outnumbered three to one!" Iris exclaimed.

"I gots this!" Popeye stepped forward, a can of spinach in hand. "C'mon, Dwebble, let's rough 'em up!"

[No!] Dwebble exclaimed.

"Eh?"

[I have to do this on my own!] Dwebble replied.

"Ya sure 'bout that, buddy? I don't mind helpin' ya out!"

[I'm positive!] Dwebble replied.

"Alright, but if'n ya find yourself in trouble, I'll step in whenever ya want!" Dwebble leapt into the air, ready to hit one of the other Dwebble with its claw...only to get knocked back down, where he bounced off the ground and smashed into a rock.

"Uh-oh...with no rock on its back..." Cilan began.

"That means he's completely vulnerable!" Josh finished. Dwebble went in for another claw attack...but the larger Dwebble hid in its shell, rendering it useless. Dwebble then got knocked back into the air, falling unconscious upon hitting the ground. The three larger Dwebble burrowed away. And so, after Dwebble regained consciousness, the group had with it an...intervention of sorts.

"Dude...you can NOT beat all three of those dickbiscuits by yourself! Open your eyes, man!" Ian exclaimed.

[I know...] Dwebble replied.

"Hmm...maybe if we split them up..." Emile suggested.

"That's a great idea, Emile!" Josh said with a nod.

"At least let us help with that, Dwebble!" Ryan asked. Then he got down on his knees. "PLEEEEEEEASE!" He gave his best puppy dog eyes.

"Hmm...I know! We can use some of my specially-made Pokémon food!" Cilan suggested. And so, they set the bait, three bowls of Pokémon food with ropes attached to them. In one area lurked Iris, Josh, Emile, Ian and their Pokémon. In another lurked Krillin, Ryan, Deadpool and Tristan, as well as their Pokémon. And in the last area lurked Mike, Achmed, Popeye, Cilan, their Pokémon and Dwebble, all watching intently and ready to pull the rope at the first sign of the Dwebble. Eventually, Cilan's side got a tug.

"I got a bite, fellas! I'm reeling it in!" Popeye exclaimed as he pulled the rope.

"BYE GUUUUUUUYS!" Stevie shouted as he went flying over the horizon, the bowl of Pokémon food in hand.

"DAGNABBIT, STEPHANO!" Chester exclaimed angrily, shaking a fist at Stevie's flying form. So they had to set it up all over again...this time, they actually caught the Dwebble! They pulled the food in separate directions and kept going as the Dwebble all chased after it.

"All right, Dwebble! Now you can face them one at a time!" Cilan exclaimed.

[Got it!] Dwebble replied with determination, raising a claw. And so, Dwebble went after one of the smaller bullies. It knocked him away with a claw attack. It prepared to come at him with another, but Dwebble leapt back repeatedly, managing to avoid the attack, causing the larger Dwebble to slice through a rock.

"Looks like Dwebble's luring them into the rocks!" Iris exclaimed.

"Looks like Dwebble's trying to compensate for his lack of rock!" Deadpool agreed.

"That Dwebble is one smart Pokémon!" Cilan nodded. Dwebble looked around the area, then saw a large rock. Then the larger Dwebble came around the corner.

[There ya are, pipsqueak!] It said with a smirk. It leapt into the air, then came back down, its claws in an X formation.

"Hey, that's X-Scissor!" Exclaimed Cilan. The larger Dwebble slammed into the rocks just as Dwebble leapt out of the way. The large rock fell off its perch, then rolled into the larger Dwebble, sending it flying off into the distance.

"YEAH! THAT WAS AWESOME, DWEBBLE!" Emile shouted. Dwebble then came back down at the smaller Dwebble, hitting it with X-Scissor and knocking it unconscious.

"EEEEEEEEEE, HE'S SO AWESOME!" Ryan squealed before fainting like a fangirl.

"That's...disturbing." Deadpool said flatly.

"I have to say, those X-Scissor and Slash attacks really make for one spicy combination!" Cilan said.

"I like pudding!" Tristan said.

"All right, let's do it!" Axew was dragging a bowl of food behind him as he ran from the Dwebble. Dwebble swung his claw down at Dwebble, who flinched back as the claw hit the ground, knocking up dirt. Dwebble prepared to ram Dwebble with his rock shell, but Dwebble dodged, leaving Dwebble to get stuck in between two close-together cliffsides. As Dwebble struggled to free itself, Dwebble hit Dwebble with X-Scissor, knocking Dwebble off into the distance and knocking Dwebble unconscious when Dwebble hit the ground. Dwebble celebrated his defeat of Dwebble, then they all went to find Big Dwebble, who they found happily eating.

"All right, Dwebble! The time has come for you to take your home back!" Cilan exclaimed.

[About time too!] Dwebble exclaimed. Big Dwebble turned around in surprise.

[All right, boys, lets...wait...I'm alone?]

"That's right, BIIITCH!" Ian exclaimed. "Now Dwebble here's gonna kick your ass!" Big Dwebble tried to ram Dwebble with his shell, but Dwebble leapt out of the way, causing Big Dwebble to skid across the ground, creating a small crater as he slid. Dwebble prepared to hit Big Dwebble with his claw, but Big Dwebble turned around so his shell would take the hit. Dwebble stopped to avoid destroying his house, then got knocked back when Big Dwebble swung his rock shell.

"Why didn't Dwebble hit Dwebble?" Tristan asked.

"I think it's because Dwebble didn't want to damage its own home, Tristan!" Cilan exclaimed. Big Dwebble tried to hit Dwebble with one of his claws, but Dwebble leapt back and evaded it. Big Dwebble then fired a ball of yellow energy from its mouth, which hit Dwebble and exploded.

"That's Smackdown!" Cilan exclaimed.

"Where's Raw then?" Deadpool asked.

"Hey, I'M supposed to make puns!" Emile protested.

"You're also not supposed to remember Smackdown vs Raw." Deadpool replied. Then Dwebble fell at their feet.

"Dwebble, you okay?" Cilan asked.

"You cannot just give up! You'd be like me when I was trying to salvage my son's remains! Maybe if I had kept going I could've prevented him from ending up a tea-obsessed stuck-up snooty brat... [APOLOGIES TO ENGLISH PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.]

"Give 'em the biffin' and buffin' he deserves, squirt!" Popeye agreed.

[Don't let him push you around like that.] Ivy agreed with a nod.

[Beat those big meanies up!] Axew said.

[Yeah!] Lightning agreed. Dwebble rushed at Big Dwebble, only to dash off to the side. Big Dwebble angrily followed. Dwebble led Big Dwebble under a rock bridge, where his shell got stuck. Dwebble turned around with a smirk, then leapt up and hit Big Dwebble in the face with X-Scissor.

"Nice job, Dwebble!" Cilan called.

"Unnecessary commentary!" Deadpool agreed. From the smoke, Big Dwebble knocked Dwebble away with a claw. Dwebble righted himself, then glared down at Big Dwebble, glowing a red aura, which enveloped him, then cracked, leaving him surrounded by a fire-red aura.

"That's Dwebble's Shell Smash!" Cilan observed.

"I didn't see any shells get smashed!" Tristan said in confusion.

"It gives up defense for extra attack power!" Iris explained. Dwebble's claws grew out and he performed a powerful X-Scissor, destroying Big Dwebble's shell, and knocking his own off of Big Dwebble's back.

"Oh, sh*t! DE-SERVED!" Deadpool exclaimed with a grin. Dwebble turned to glare at Big Dwebble.

[DON'T KILL ME!] Big Dwebble burrowed his way underground to escape. Then Dwebble's shell landed.

[All right!] Dwebble exclaimed as he reclaimed his shell. He leaped for joy after getting the shell back on.

"All right! He did it!" Iris exclaimed.

"Now you're not a hobo anymore!" Tristan said with a smile.

"And he did it AAAALLLL by himself!" Ian agreed.

"You should be proud!" Cilan said.

[Great job! Such a flavorful battle!] Pansage said, leaping into the air.

[Yaaay! The meanies are gone!] Axew cheered.

[Thanks guys.] Dwebble said happily.

_Meanwhile..._

"Pierce...here's all the meteorite data that the boss requested." Jessie said as she handed Pierce the data.

"Great work." Pierce said as he took it. "I can clearly see why you were the first agents to get inside the Unova region."

"Thanks, but we don't need praise." James replied.

"We need to get going." Meowth added.

"I'll report to the boss immediately." Pierce nodded. "Wait for further instructions."

"Understood." Jessie nodded. Pierce turned to walk away. Then they heard screaming. They all looked up as Stevie fell through the roof of the abandoned Subway system. He got to his feet, holding a bowl of Pokémon food.

"Hey guys! Wanna share this yummy food with me?" Meowth kicked Stevie in the shin, then kicked him in the face, knocking him over. Then he took the Pokémon food.

"F*ck off, Stevie." He said flatly before the trio walked away.

_Back with the heroes..._

"All right then, Dwebble. Time for us to move on." Cilan said.

"See ya later, Dwebble!" Ian said.

[Yeah, bye!] Little Piggy said.

"And try not to lose that home again." Josh added. The group turned to walk away. Dwebble watched them go...

[Wait! Cilan!] The group turned to see Dwebble behind them, smiling up at them happily.

"What is it, Dwebble? Do you need our help with something else?" Cilan asked.

[Cilan, can I come with you?]

"The little guy says he wants to go with you, Cilan!" Mike translated. Cilan turned to Mike with a surprised expression, then turned to Dwebble.

"You do?"

[Yeah!]

"I get it...getting your home back all by yourself was heavy fare...and worrying about Pansage was delicate and light! Fantastic! The perfect Pokémon for me! We're a good match!" Cilan tossed a Pokeball into the air, and Dwebble happily leapt up to it, allowing himself to be sucked in. Cilan happily picked up the Pokeball. "Such exquisite taste! My Dwebble !"

"Wow, you say some weird sh*t sometimes, buddy." Deadpool chuckled, patting Cilan on the back.

"Way to go on catchin' another Pokémon, pal!" Popeye said.

"Thank you!" Cilan replied. "What do you think of all this, Pansage?"

[I'm quite glad he's on board!] Pansage replied.

[Yaaaaaay!] Axew exclaimed.

"Yeah, it is great." Iris giggled.

"Now...let's all head to Nacrene City and kick some ASS!" Ian exclaimed. And away they went!


	15. Here Comes the Trubbish Squad

The heroes were looking over a map. Then they heard cheering children. They turned to see a crowd of children happily riding their bikes. One of them had a Pokémon shaped like a garbage bag in the basket.

"Wow! Little kids!" Ian said happily.

"Yes, now get over there and join your bretheren." Achmed joked, shoving Ian's legs.

"Heeeeeey, I'm not a little kid!" Ian whined.

"I had to change your diaper the other day." Deadpool said flatly. "And you peed in my eye."

"SHUT UP!" Ian ran away crying, Little Piggy in tow.

"Come back, Ian! I'll comfort you with the sound of my voice! I-Ooh, an ice cream truck!" Tristan ran after the random ice cream truck.

"EVERYBODY SLOW DOWN!" A female voice called.

"Someone stop those kids, please!" Another person called.

"I got this!" Krillin exclaimed. He leapt forward, glaring, with his hands on his hips. "Stop right there! I dema-OWWWWWW!" The kids paid no attention to Krillin and instead ran him over with their bikes.

Krillin Owned Count: 22

"Enemy has been sighted, prepare to attack!" The kid with the garbage Pokémon in his wagon shouted.

"Yes sir!" All the kids said at once.

"Attack? Am I gonna have to go all ninja on their asses? No! Gangster! ...Hmm...Emo? Nerd? Nah, nerd's never an optio-" Ryan stopped his ramble to scream like a little girl as the kids started throwing tomatoes at them.

"GAH! GEEZ! QUIT IT! I'M ALLERGIC TO PAIN!" Josh shouted. Ivy was shielding Lightning from the tomatoes, scowling at the kids. This was a mistake, as she got a tomato to the face.

[Grr...Little brats...] She muttered angrily as she wiped the tomato juice off with a vine, Pichu too busy cowering in Ivy's arms to notice.

"Dagnab these rotten, good-for-nothin' kids! Why, back in my day, if they pulled somethin' like this, they'd get a board to their heinie! They'd be lucky if the board didn't have NAILS stickin' out of I-MMPH!" Chester's ramble was cut off when a tomato hit him in the face. "YOU ROTTEN KIIIIIDS!" He angrily shook his fist at them...before Mike lost his shirt in the scuffle, changing Chester to Vito.

"Yo, yo! What's all the hubbub-WHAT THE?! Hey, kid, ya cruisin' for a bruisin' here, or-GAH!" Another tomato to the face. Jet was hiding behind Vito's leg, but got hit when he peeked out. Ryan was curled up on the ground crying. Breeze was by his side, shielding his face with her wings. She couldn't shield herself at the same time though, so she got hit in the face instead.

"THIS IS WHY I HATE KIDS!" Achmed shouted, before getting hit in the stomach with a tomato, the force of which shattered him to bits. "AHHH! TOMATOES GO RIGHT THROUGH ME!"

Emile shielded himself with his arms, trying to protect himself from the tomatoes. Sadly that did not save him from getting hit in the face. Bulbapedia also got hit in the face, but he didn't mind, since tomato juice apparently moisturizes the skin.

Deadpool's face got BARRAGED by tomatoes at such a high speed and frequency that it knocked his mask off, sending it flying into the dirt.

"DAMN IT!" He exclaimed. "IF THEY WEREN'T KIDS..." Pinkie's face had also gotten barraged, though not as much as her trainers.

"AGH! WHY THESE NO GOOD STINKIN' KIDS NEED A GOOD SPANKIN'!" Popeye shouted. "THAT'LL TEACH 'EM NOT TO BE BAD! AN' THEN, BED WITHOUT SUPPER!" Then he got hit in the face by a tomato. Streak flew high above them, watching this all play out with a confused expression on his face. Swee'pea cowered under Popeye's hat.

Cilan, unfortunately, was the first to get hit, and was on the ground, shielding himself the best he could.

Iris had managed to avoid the first tomato thrown at her by leaping over it and onto the fence behind her. Sadly, she did not anticipate the second tomato, which hit her directly in the face and made her fall off of the fence, where she sprawled out onto the grass. Axew was thankfully hidden away safely in her hair.

...So, basically, it was an absolute clusterf*ck.

After the tomatoes had finally stopped coming, the lead kid shouted out "ATTACK SUCCESSFUL!" The kids all cheered as they rode past the groaning group. They noticed the garbage Pokémon had scooped up Mike's shirt, Achmed's arm, and Deadpool's mask.

"Yo! Brats! Ya got our stuff!" Vito shouted.

"SON OF A BITCH! EVERYTHING'S OUT TO GET MY LIMBS!" Achmed shouted in rage.

"Well sh*t." Deadpool said flatly. Everyone who was not present in A Sandile Gusher of Change turned to look at Deadpool and screamed in horror. Except Lightning. Ivy had covered his eyes. Iris had done the same for Axew, her and the chosen ones remembering the horrific abomination that is Deadpool's face. "MUST everybody react that way? It's what's on the inside that counts you know!"

_Best Wishes theme_

"WHAT IS WITH THOSE LITTLE BRATS?!" Iris shouted angrily, glaring after the laughing kids riding away on their bicycles.

[That was mean!] Axew pouted.

"Not exactly innocent pranksters." Cilan agreed.

"Man, I am PISSED now!" Vito said with a scowl. Then Ian approached with a tomato stain on his and Little Piggy's faces.

"Hey, guys! Did you know that there are a bunch of kids throwing tomatoes at people?" He asked. Vito punched him in the face. "OW, YOU DOUCHE PUNCHER!"

"Look at the irony in that statement." Josh said after spitting out some tomato.

"Hey guys! I got an ice cream cone!" Tristan said as he and Bubbles reapproached the group, each with a vanilla ice cream cone. "I still wanna see that ice cream Pokémon..."

"Not happening." Krillin said flatly. Deadpool winked at the camera.

"I'm so sorry!" The group turned to see two women approaching. "...Why does that man have a paper bag on his head?"

"DO I TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE?!" Deadpool snapped.

"He is very ugly." Achmed replied casually. Then he stared in shock as Deadpool ripped off his other arm and threw it over the horizon in a fit of rage.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING UGLY, ARMLESS?!"

[I'll get it.] Streak rolled his eyes as he flew off to retrieve the skeleton's arm.

"Who are those kids?" Cilan asked.

"Those children are from my Kindergarten class. Forgive them please!" The woman requested.

"I will forgive them when I have my mask back!" Deadpool pouted.

"We're very sorry." The other, older, woman said. And so, they were in the school now. Outside, a familiar sunglasses-wearing Sandlie popped out of the dirt, looked around, then went back under.

"Wow! Look at all these Pokémon eggs!" Iris exclaimed. Ryan had his face planted against one of the glasses, and was curiously looking at one of the eggs.

"The nourishing spirit I find here warms my heart!" Cilan exclaimed. The elder woman laughed.

"You're standing in my daycare!" She said with a western accent that I am just now choosing to make known. "The name's Karrina. This is my granddaughter Daniella!"

"Hello there! And this is the kindergarten classroom where I teach!" Daniella said.

"Maybe we should enroll Ian here." Krillin joked. Ian hit him on the back of the head.

Introductions...

"I'm so sorry about what happened today." Daniella apologized. "You see, the children in my class found a Trubbish just yesterday, and decided to bring it here."

"Trubbish, huh? That's the name of that Pokémon they had?" Krillin asked.

"Yes, and they found it at a junkyard located at the edge of town!"

_Flashback..._

"Lemme check this out, fellas." Vito said, reaching for the Pokedex. "How'd Mike say this thing works? Ah, there we go! Trubbish..."

"Trubbish likes garbage." Iris explained.

"Are you saying my arm is garbage?!" Achmed exclaimed, offended.

[Got your other arm, boney!] Streak exclaimed as he flew through the window.

"Ah, thank you birdy!" Achmed said appreciatively.

"Trubbish is a Pokémon with quite a unique recipe..." Cilan said reasonably.

"Unique, yes." Daniella said. "When I first saw Trubbish, I was anything but excited."

_Flashback..._

_"Oh my! You brought THAT here?!"_

_"Yup! It was crying!"_

_"Teacher, can we keep Trubbish here with us?"_

_"Yeah, can we? Please?"_

_"I'm afraid not."_

_"Why not?"_

_"You see, Trubbish is a Pokémon that loves garbage, and we can't have garbage littering up our classroom now, can we?"_

_"But we'll clean it up! I promise we will! Can we keep it? Pretty please?"_

_"I said no! Take it back to the junkyard where you found it!"_

_"No! We wanna keep Trubbish!"_

_"We wanna keep it!" And all the children started shouting and complaining._

_"I already told you no!" Trubbish looked up at the teacher sadly, then burped, letting out a brown gas._

_"Eew! What stinks?! Was that Trubbish?! It smells horrible!"_

_"Trubbish does not stink!" The kids began chanting again._

_"I guess I'll just have to take Trubbish myself." She picked Trubbish up like you would a trashbag, then carried it back to the junkyard, where she set it down gently. "Please understand, I can't keep you in my kindergarten class." Trubbish watched sadly as she walked away._

_End flashback_

"Daniella brought Trubbish back to the junkyard where the kids first found it. But we woke up today to find something you wouldn't believe." Karrina said.

"Eh?" Josh asked. The two showed them the pile of trash outside the school. "Oh geez, what the heck is this?!" Josh exclaimed.

"The children and Trubbish made this awful thing out of all the junk they found!" Daniella exclaimed.

"It has the recipe of a secret base." Cilan said.

"A secret base?! The fiends!" Deadpool shouted angrily. "Forget Sinister! Forget Magneto! Forget Doctor Doom! Forget Dormammu! Forget GALACTUS! These kids are the most effective supervillains ever!"

"Okay, now you're just overreacting." Emile said flatly.

"That pile of junk could collapse at any moment." Daniella explained.

"I agree." Cilan replied.

"I'd better do something, quick." Daniella said.

"Would you mind helping Daniella and I clean this up?" Karrina asked.

"Oh boy! I always wanted to be a garbage man!" Tristan exclaimed happily. Everyone else stated their agreements, though Achmed had to sit out due to the fact that he was missing his arm. They were going to get started, when the curtain to a treehouse opened. Everyone looked up to see one of the kids standing there with a wooden sword and armor made of cardboard. Then all the other kids and Trubbish came out.

"Listen up! This is the Trubbish Squad Super Secret Base! Grown ups aren't allowed to come inside!"

"Right! No grown ups allowed!" All the other kids said simultaneously.

"How about manchildren? Are they fair game?" Deadpool asked, pushing Ian towards the treehouse.

"Shuuuut uuuuuuuup!" Ian whined.

"Trubbish Squad Super Secret Base?" Iris questioned with a raised eyebrow.

""They're just playing games." Cilan explained.

"Ah,tobeyoungagain,I'dplaygameslikethatallthetimewhenIwasalad." Popeye muttered. Ryan smiled at the kids game.

"Kids, come on! You need to stop these silly games, right now!" Daniella insisted.

"Can I talk to them?" Ryan asked. Daniella turned to him. "I think I get where they're coming from. They're kids. Kids play. I used to play like that when I was a kid."

"Ryan, that's a great idea." Karrina said with a nod. Daniella turned to her in worry, and she simply nodded.

"Okay, but be careful."

"I got this, don't worry." Ryan assured. "Come on, Breeze!"

[I hope you know what you're doing, Ryan.] Breeze said sternly, perching herself on her trainers shoulder. Ryan climbed up the boxes, but when the kids noticed him...

"Intruder alert! Trubbish, attack!" Trubbish fired a ball of gunk down at the boxes Ryan was climbing. The minute the ball hit the boxes, Ryan threw up all over the ground. "Great job, Trubbish! Now everyone, attack!" The kids threw more tomatoes at Ryan. Breeze flew up above them.

[Guys! Help us out here!] She called. Josh, Krillin, Ian, Deadpool, Tristan, Vito and Popeye all ran to Ryan's aid. When they got there, they stared angrily up at the kids.

"Quit it, ya little whelps! We wanna talk to ya!" Popeye snapped. He was met with a tomato to the face, which he wiped off with a grumble.

"Launch the fan attack!" The leader commanded. The fat kid nodded, the turned on a fan. A rope that was attached to the fan gave way, and sent the entire group sliding down, into another area.

"Damn kids..." Vito grumbled angrily.

"Don't move!" Josh looked up to see a wooden sword near his face.

"What's going on?" Iris asked. "Guys? What are you doing?"

"We're just entering the talking stage." Josh replied.

"Speak for yourself, squirt." Popeye grunted, trying to pull himself out of a tire.

"Careful, Josh!" Iris called back.

"Don't worry, it's just a bunch of kids!" Josh called back.

"Why Josh in particular, Iris?" Cilan asked.

"Well...he WAS the one who answered." Iris replied, blushing slightly.

"The prisoners will stay silent!" The leader commanded. Then two of the kids sprayed Josh with a water gun.

"AGH! HEY, CUT IT OUT!" Josh held his hands in front of himself defensively. The kids stopped spraying. "Look, we just wanna talk to you, okay?" The others on the other side of the junk pile heard Josh let out a yelp.

"What happened, Josh?!" Iris called.

"THIS KID JUST SPAT IN MY EYE!" Josh called back. "IT BURNS!"

"Hey, kid! That's just not coo-OW!" Krillin then yelped in surprise as the leader pinned him down and started repeatedly slapping him across the face before finally getting off, leaving Krillin lying on the ground.

Krillin Owned Count: 23

"Aw, come on, little buddy! I'm sure we can all get along!" Ian said as he approached. "Ow!" He yelped again as the kid kicked him. "Little boy! It's not nice to kick people in the shin!" The kid did it again. "AGH! Look, kid! I know Santa, and someone just made the naughty list!"

"The jokes on you. I'm Jewish." The kid replied before he kicked Ian in the shin a third time. Deadpool, in the meantime, was glaring at the leader.

"GIVE ME MY MASK BACK!" He tried to lunge at the kid, but Vito held him back.

"This ain't goin' too well." He called back to the group. And so, the kids took them into their fort.

"Wow! I'm impressed! This is a nice base ya got here!" Ryan exclaimed. "You guys made this all by yourselves?"

"Uh-huh! And Trubbish helped!" A little girl replied.

[Thanks for noticin'.] Trubbish replied.

"He's so cool!" Tristan exclaimed. He approached the garbage Pokémon. "Hi, Trubbish."

[Hello.] Trubbish replied with a gloomy tone.

"This fort is cool too!" Ryan added.

[It's not much...but it's a place to stay.] Trubbish agreed.

"Hey, you're not allowed to be friendly with the enemy!" The leader snapped.

"I'm sorry, Avey..." The girl replied.

[Okay...] Trubbish drooped.

"Aw, you made him sad!" Tristan chastised as he patted the garbage Pokémon's head.

"Avey, huh? That's a nice name!" Ryan commented.

"The name is AVERY to you!" Avery snapped.

"Oh, okay. I'm Ryan. This is Breeze."

[Brat.]

"We want them to like us, Breeze."

"I'm Josh, and this is Ivy and Lightning."

[Brat.]

[I'm scared...]

"WHAT THE F*CK DID I JUST SAY?!" Ryan snapped. Ivy glared at Ryan as Lightning flinched at the volume. "Whoops...I forgot."

[Ryan, you'd better learn how to sleep with your eyes open.] Ivy said flatly as she patted Lightning's head.

"I'm Deadpool. And this here's Pinkie."

[Hiya! You kids are sooo cute! Well, all kids are cute, especially Lightning and Axew, those two are just the SWEETEST little things you'll EVER see, especially Lightning because he's so small, and shy, and sensitive, and Ivy's like his mommy, always hugging him and getting all angry whenever someone scares him, like right now I'll bet she's trying super duper extra hard not to start hitting you with rapid vine whips because Lightning's afraid you're gonna beat him up, I can't tell you anything about that because spoilers, but she's also mad at Ryan for yelling at him, and you can tell because she just hit him with leaf blade, and Breeze is like Ryan's mommy because now they're arguing and Ryan and Josh are trying to break it up, it's like two mommies arguing at a playground because one mommy's son was all like "HAHA! NEEEERD!" and the other mommy's son is like "MOOOMYYYYY!" and the first mommy's like "Hey, tell your son to stop bullying my son" and the other mommy's like "No", so then they start arguing, but they're not anymore because Breeze and Ivy are done arguing, and Breeze is giving Ryan a huh and Ivy is cuddling Lightning, and it's super cute, and I should probably take a breath right now before I suffocate, because that wouldn't be good, because I would be dead, and I don't want that!]

"Wow! I've never seen a Pichu before!" One of the girls exclaimed, looking down at Lightning, who shrunk back shyly.

"Lightning's cute!" The fat kid agreed. A child approached.

"Mind if I pet him?" He asked. Josh looked at Ivy, who looked down at Lightning.

"Don't worry, we won't let him hurt you." Josh assured.

[That's right. If he does, well...you know what happens when someone threatens you while I'm in the vicinity.] Ivy agreed.

[O..okay...] Lightning nodded timidly. He nervously stepped up, and smiled when the boy began patting his head...but then quickly grew nervous when the kids all began petting him at once.

[Hey, hey, hey!] Ivy exclaimed, but Josh held her back.

"I got this, Ivy." Josh shielded Lightning from the kids with his arm. "Hey, don't crowd him, guys. He's very shy and sensitive. You don't want to scare him." The kids looked dejected. "Hey, you can still pet him, just...one at a time, okay?" The kids all agreed and took turns petting the Pichu. Avery watched in surprise.

"See? We just wanna talk!" Ryan assured as he approached.

"Right, squirt!" Popeye agreed, clapping a hand on Avery's shoulder.

"You mean it?" Avery asked.

"As much as I mean it when I say Ian still poops himself." Ryan replied with a nod. Ian began crying as all the kids laughed at him. Afterwards, Avery turned to Josh after everyone had stopped petting Lightning.

"...Would it be okay if I pet Lightning too?" He asked.

"Knock yourself out, bro!" Josh replied with a nod as he held out the little lightning mouse. Avery gently reached out and scratched behind his ears. Lightning smiled and leaned into the touch. Ivy noticed his reaction and smiled.

[I have to make sure Josh does this at least once a day.] She thought.

"Who wants to see a cool trick?!" Deadpool asked. The kids all crowded around. "All right, let's take it outside!" Deadpool gestured to the outside of the club. Deadpool looked around, and saw Stevie walking down the street. "See that loser?"

"We hate that guy!" Avery said with a nod.

"Pinkie...show 'em."

[Yaaay!] Pinkie held her arms back and a ball of blue energy formed between them. [KA...ME...HA...ME...HAAAAAAAAAAA!] Pinkie fired a massive blue blast of energy at Stevie. It hit him, and kept going, Stevie getting carried with the blast into the sky, before the blast disappeared along with Stevie.

"Wicked, amirite?" The kids all cheered excitedly. "She's cute, strong, and unpredictable as HECK!" He turned to the screen. "Gotta watch my language around minors."

[Yeah, real impressive...] Trubbish agreed. He turned to Lightning. [Hello. You're cute, I guess.]

[Um...th-thank you, Mr. Trubbish.] Lightning replied.

[So...what about me?] Trubbish asked.

"Um...you're cute too, I guess..." Vito replied, scratching the back of his head.

"I think he's adorable!" Tristan huffed, picking Trubbish up.

"You bet ya Trubbish is cute!" Avery said with a smile. The other kids cheered.

[Thanks, kids.] Trubbish said.

"You guys really like that Trubbish, don't you?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah!" The kids all nodded at once. "We love Trubbish! Yaaay!" Avery approached Deadpool.

"Here, Deadpool. I want you to have your mask back." He took off the mask and handed it to the mercenary. "Sorry about that." Deadpool grinned and took his hat.

"Thank you, Avery!" He said. "I'll be right back. I'm gonna go outside, take off this paper bag, and hide my disgusting face away from the world the proper way!" And he left to do just that.

"Yo! You kids got Mike's shirt around here?" Vito asked.

"You mean this?" A girl asked, holding up a blue shirt.

"Yeah, that's it! Mind if I take that back?" The girl nodded and Vito put the shirt back on. Mike regained control.

"Huh? What the heck's going on here?" He asked in confusion. As Jet explained everything to him, Krillin turned to Avery.

"Achmed's also missing his arm. Do you have a skeleton arm in here?" Trubbish spat Achmed's arm out. "Um...best not tell him where it's been."

_Insert Who's That Pokémon here..._

_Meanwhile..._

"Yesterday evening, a large amount of trash mysteriously disappeared from the local junkyard." A voice said over the loudspeaker. "A Trubbish living in that junkyard has also disappeared, which is fueling speculation that thievery may, in fact, be involved in the incident. Your local weather forecast coming up next."

"What time is the express train leaving?" Jessie asked.

"Nine O' Clock." A man next to them replied.

"What do you wish to discuss?" James asked the man.

"Is the mission on schedule and according to plan?" The man replied.

"Everything is perfect." Meowth said with a nod.

"Your faith in us will be rewarded." Jessie agreed.

"Headquarters asked me to give this to you." The man said, placing down a box and sliding it over to them with his foot.

"And what's this?" James asked as he picked it up. He opened it to reveal what appeared to be a meteorite.

"A replica of a certain rock, the details of which shall be revealed very soon." James closed the box.

"It's in good hands." He assured. The man stood up.

"I also think you'd like to know that the boss is speaking very highly of you as of late."

"Right." Jessie said.

"Of course." James said.

"Indeed." The man said as he walked away. Then the train pulled up. The Rockets got on the train and took their seats.

"Hey guys!" Jessie threw Stevie out the window.

"F*ck off, Stevie." She said calmly as the train took off.

_Back with the heroes..._

"Come on, guys. I say you should stop this and make things right with your teacher." Ryan encouraged.

[He's right, kids.] Breeze added with a nod.

"An' we'll go with ya, squirts!" Popeye added. "But ya gotta apologize."

"But we didn't do anything wrong!" Avery protested.

"Avery is right!" A girl agreed.

"It's our teachers fault!" Avery insisted.

"Yeah! It's Daniella's fault!" The other girl and fat kid said at the same time.

"She told us to take Trubbish back to the junkyard!" Avery said. "And when we said no, she took Trubbish back and dumped him!"

"Trubbish wasn't happy at the junkyard! We don't want him to be sad again!" The other girl added. "He's not a bad Pokémon at all!"

"Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yeah...but he can get pretty stinky." Krillin said.

"HOW DARE YOOOOOOOOOOOU!" Tristan shouted angrily.

"Yeah, it is stinky." The other girl admitted.

"Oh. Okay." Tristan shrugged.

"It does not stink!" Avery snapped.

"HE'S RIGHT! IT DOESN'T STINK AT ALL!" Tristan agreed. Trubbish burped again. Ian's head caught fire from the smell and he was screaming. Josh was being dangled upside down when the stink fog formed a hand and picked him up, and Ivy was trying to pull him down while covering her own nostrils. Krillin was lying on the ground, twitching. Popeye fainted. Mike threw up. Ryan teared up. And Deadpool's flesh melted. Tristan remained unaffected.

"No! Trubbish doesn't stink!" Avery insisted.

"Trubbish doesn't stink one bit!" All the kids said in unison.

"TRUBBISH STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-" Krillin was shouting.

_Outside..._

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

"That sounds like Krillin." Iris observed.

"I actually feel that." Cilan agreed.

_On Team Rocket's train..._

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

"What on Earth is that?" Jessie asked.

"It sounds like the bald twerp." James replied.

"Nah, couldn't be." Meowth waved it off.

_With Stevie..._

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

"Krillin? You here?" Stevie looked around the train station. "Maybe he's on the tracks!" Stevie jumped onto the train tracks and immediately got hit by a train.

_At Team Rocket Headquartes..._

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

"What on Earth is that noise?" Giovanni asked.

_At Ash's house..._

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

"Mom, what's that noise?" Ash asked.

"I don't know, sweetie!" Delia replied.

_In another world..._

"All right, Lion-O, ready to practice battle?!" PBG asked.

"Indeed I am, PBG." Lion-O replied with a nod.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

"What's that weird noise?" Yogi Bear asked.

_In a vast empty void..._

"Well this is fan-f*cking-tastic!" Vegeta said angrily. "Here we are, floating in a vast, empty void with no hope of escape!"

"Way to point out the obvious, dumbass." Walter replied.

"I could blow you up at a moments notice, old man!" Vegeta snapped.

"Dudes, how am I gonna keep my devilish good looks up to par?" Chris whined.

"You have dots for eyes. You're a complete freak of nature." Tien said flatly.

"Haha! You just got TOLD, McClean!" Chef laughed as Chris glared at Tien.

"Look who's talking, three eyes!"

"Only girls care so much about their appearance!" Peanut called out.

"SHUT UP, MONKEY MAN!" Vegeta blew Chris to oblivion with Galick Gun.

"...I should probably be horrified, but I'm kind of glad he's gone." Cameron said flatly.

"YEAH! FREEDOM!" Chef cheered.

"Well, we've got eternity to spend! What do you guys wanna do?" Goku asked.

"Oh! I've got my guitar! We could do a sing-along!" Drake suggested.

"Yeah! We could sing Row Your Boat!" Anthony agreed.

"Doom is not amused by your childish ideas." Doctor Doom said angrily. "Merely angered that his plans for world conquest shall never come into fruition!"

"Enough about world conquest, you horrible man!" Olive Oyl snapped.

"Silence, insolent woman!" Doom replied with a glare. "You WILL kneel before Doom!"

"Give it a rest already, will ya Doom?" Iron Man said with annoyance. "There's nothing to rule over!"

"Hey, we're all friends here, aren't we?" Tea asked.

"F*ck off, bitch." Vegeta said flatly.

"See? Best friends." Tea said happily.

"Nyeh, I'm bored." Joey said.

"Hey, look! A TV!" Proton Jon pointed out. The entire group eagerly floated towards the TV.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

"...Hey, isn't that Krillin?" Piccolo asked.

"Where IS he?" Gohan replied.

_Back in the clubhouse..._

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINKS!" Krillin burst out of the treehouse, panting heavily, followed by the other members of the group, barring Tristan, and the children. Krillin finally managed to stop panting.

"Trubbish...does not smell good." He said calmly.

"He smells fine!" Avery insisted.

"Yeah, I can't smell a thing! ...Then again, I was born with no sense of smell..." Tristan agreed.

[Everybody's a critic...] Trubbish muttered.

"Trubbish, everything is fine!" Avery assured the Pokémon.

"You're a great buddy, Avery!" Tristan said with a smile.

"You are too, Tristan!" Avery replied, smiling back. Then, they noticed something going on at the junk pile.

"Whatta we got here?" Popeye looked closer.

"Intruder!" Avery exclaimed. "Everyone prepare to attack!" The students and Trubbish ran back into the club. Tristan followed.

"Hey...that's the Sandile we met back before we met Cilan!" Mike exclaimed.

"You're right! The one with the sunglasses!" Josh agreed. The group all followed after the kids and Tristan. The Sandile stepped forward.

[Hey!] It noticed Mike. And the Oshawott that was sitting on his shoulder... Sandile roared at the sky, sending a series of stones raining down at Mike.

"Agh! Everyone, move!" Mike warned, barely avoiding the stones himself. Sandile glared at Jet.

[Hey, what's the big idea?!] He snapped.

"Time for a mud bomb counterattack!" Avery shouted.

"Oh, those weren't tomatoes! They were mud!" Deadpool realized. "You gonna fix that author?"

**Nope.**

"Lazy bastard..." The kids threw the mudballs at Sandile. He got mad and pelted them all with Stone Edge. Trubbish got mad and fired a ball of gunk into the air, which came down and seeped into the ground.

"Toxic Spikes! Cilan taught me about that the other day!" Josh exclaimed. Sandile approached angrily.

[Okay, brats, that was just not-agh!] He flinched as he stepped on the spikes, damaging himself.

"Jet, hit him with Aqua Jet!" Mike commanded. Jet complied, knocking Sandile back. Then Trubbish hit him with a ball of gunk, sending him flying even further.

"Sludge!" Josh explained. Sandile flew into the sky and became a twinkle, which Tristan immediately made a wish upon.

"We did it!" Avery cheered. The kids all celebrated.

"We won!"

"We really did it!"

"Yeah we did!" Josh replied coolly.

[Even if it was Jet and Trubbish that did all the work.] Ivy said flatly.

"Looks like the Trubbish squad has done it again!" Avery exclaimed. The kids all cheered. Tristan too.

"This is a lot of fun!" Ian said. "Oh! We should probably give Achmed his arm back." He tossed Achmed's arm over the wall, where it hit him on the head.

"OUCH!"

"You're welcome!" Ian called back.

"I KEEL YOU!" Achmed snapped.

"It sounds like they've started playing with the children too!" Daniella said.

"Ian and maybe Tristan I understand...but the others?" Iris replied.

"So much for changing their minds!" Emile agreed.

"And that means I'll be taking care of it after all." Daniella said in annoyance. Karrina nodded.

"Right, dear." The group on the other side peeked over the pile.

"Children, we need to talk this over together." Daniella called out. "How long do you plan on staying in this junk?!"

"Until you let us keep Trubbish!" Avery snapped. Daniella sighed. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this...its my job to keep you kids safe, so I guess I'll have to get rid of Trubbish by force! Deerling, go!" Daniella sent out her Deerling. Tristan stood in front of Trubbish defiantly.

"Bubbles, use Flamethrower!"

[You got it, bro!] Bubbles nodded before sending out a stream of flames, which Deerling narrowly avoided.

"Tristan, what are you doing?!" Iris exclaimed.

"I'm also a member of the Trubbish squad! Trubbish wasn't happy at the junkyard! Trubbish deserves to be happy because he's nice! So I'm going to battle you so that Trubbish doesn't have to go back!" Tristan concluded.

"Wait just a moment..." Karrina said thoughtfully. "Children...the main reason you brought Trubbish out of the junkyard is because you wanted him to be happy, right?"

"Yeah. He was crying!" Avery replied.

"And Tristan, you're a...member of their club too, right?"

"Yes!" Tristan replied.

"Hmmm...perhaps Tristan should take Trubbish!" Everyone gasped at what she was suggesting. Deadpool turned to glare at the camera.

"Don't you dare!" He warned.

"But then we wouldn't be able to see him again..." Avery said sadly.

"Yes, but Trubbish seems he would be happy with Tristan."

"Last chance to turn back, author. I would take it."

"Well...let's see what Trubbish wants..."

"DON'T DO IT, GAMER95."

Trubbish looked back and forth between the children and Tristan. He gave the children a quick hug, then approached Tristan.

[Okay, Tristan...glad you noticed me.] Tristan caught Trubbish in a Pokeball.

"Hooray! I caught a new Pokémon!" Tristan exclaimed. Deadpool's eye twitched. Then he stormed away.

"Where're you going, Deadpool?" Avery asked.

"To vent some anger." Deadpool replied simply. Deadpool walked about five miles away. "OF ALL THE LAZY, HALF-ASSED, RUSHED, HORRIBLY WRITTEN, ABOMINATION, BULLSH*T YOU HAVE PULLED, THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE, GAMER95! WHAT THE F*CK WERE YOU THINKING?! OOH, I'M TIRED, BUT I WANNA FINISH THIS! WHINY BASTARD! GAAAAAAH!" Deadpool angrily stormed back over to the group. "Okay, I'm good. Let's continue..."

"Hey guys!

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Iris slapped Deadpool across the face. "Ahem...get outta here, Stevie!"

"But I wanna be friends with you guys!" Stevie protested. He touched the junk pile with one hand...and immediately it started falling.

"Awwwww, f*ck off, Stevie!" Josh groaned.

"Deerling, try to keep it from falling!" Daniella ordered. Deerling pushed up against the falling junk with its head. Josh, Mike and Deadpool went to help.

"You guys take care of the kids!" Deadpool ordered.

"Right away!" Cilan agreed. The others herded up the kids and guided them into the treehouse.

"Avery, you too!" Daniella pleaded.

"No! Trubbish is going away and it's all your fault!" Avery protested angrily.

"Avery...I'm sorry about Trubbish. Really, I am, but I don't want you to get hurt! Please!" Avery turned away tearfully, and almost got crushed by falling debris, but Daniella had prevented him from getting crushed by leaping in the way and holding up the debris. "Please, Avery, for me! Get to the treehouse!" She pleaded.

"...Daniella..." Avery replied.

"Guess it's time for me to step in!" Popeye declared. He whipped out a can of spinach and popped it open. After eating his greens, Popeye leapt down from the treehouse and punched the debris Daniella was holding up away, where it landed on top of Stevie. Then he approached the debris the others were holding up and punched that away, causing that to land on Stevie as well. Then he took a deep breath and blew all of the debris on top of Stevie. Another breath, and the debris and Stevie were blown all the way to the junkyard. "An' that's why you should eat your spinach, kids!" Everyone cheered.

"Thank you, Popeye. I'm sorry for all the trouble we caused." Daniella apologized.

"Tweren't nothin'!" Popeye replied. And so, the teacher and students had a heartwarming reunion, the group helped clean up the trash, and Ryan got an egg as a reward. BEST CHAPTER EVER, BEST ENDING TO ANYTHING EVER, YAAAAAAY! ...Okay, I am SO sorry, guys. You deserve better than this. I'll make it up to you next chapter.

**A/N: I borrowed a little bit from Glumshanks's fanfic based off my own.**


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